Where Shadows Go
by Snapegirlkmf
Summary: After the death of her husband, Lily Potter must begin her life anew, along with her son, Harry. Can they find comfort and solace with Master Healer Severus Snape? Or will old wounds from past and present keep them apart? Lily/Sev, AU!
1. Hero's Farewell

**Please note, this is the beginning of a series called Never Again, a completely AU universe that doesn't follow canon at all, so be aware, relationships and professions are changed and are vastly different from the books, characters may or may not behave as they are portrayed in the books either, and it features a small Harry Potter. This story is full of angst and very emotional--you will need Kleenex for this and other chapters!! Enjoy!**

**Hero's Farewell**

**September 11, 1981**

"All of us gathered here today to celebrate and to mourn the untimely yet heroic death of James Charles Potter know that he would have wanted people to remember his life, not his death. While it is true that Auror Potter died in the line of duty, destroying one of the most notorious of evil wizards, Tom Riddle, who had renamed himself Lord Voldemort, I believe that James would rather have been remembered not as the hero who brought down Voldemort, but as a loving husband and father and the best friend a bloke could ask for." Here Sirius Black paused to dash away the sudden tears that were flowing from his eyes.

Remus, who was standing to his left to offer moral support while his best friend gave the eulogy, offered the distraught Animagus a tissue. "Here, Siri. Blow your nose, then take a deep breath. You're almost done, you know."

Sirius took the proffered tissue gratefully. "Thanks, Moony. If it weren't for you and Sev over there," he jerked his head at the solemn form of the Master Healer, standing off to the left in his best set of Healer whites, one hand resting comfortingly on the shoulder of James's wife. "I'd be baying like a maniac right about now. I . . .I really hate goodbyes, Moony." He swiped at his eyes again with the tissue, then took a deep breath and composed himself before turning about to face the rather large number of mourners and press gathered at the graveside of James Potter.

"Sorry. I . . .I don't mean to get all choked up." Sirius continued awkwardly. "James wouldn't have liked that. Once, when we were first working a case, hunting down a criminal called Red Blade, James said to me that if he were ever killed in the line of duty, he wanted everyone to drink a toast and think about how he was causing mayhem up in heaven, telling jokes to all the angels and singing off-key in the choir, because anybody who knew James knew he couldn't sing a note to save his arse if it were on fire." Some people laughed softly at Sirius's comment, for it was true. James might have had a face to charm the ladies, but his singing voice was worse than a dog howling. "We all know how much James loved a good time. He was never happier than when he was with his family and friends, playing pranks and joking around. At school, he was always in trouble for playing jokes when he should have been studying . . .and so was I, I'll admit. Fact is, the only way we managed to pass Hogwarts OWLs was because our good friend Healer Snape tutored us. Thanks, Sev. I know we drove you bonkers. I think you threatened to tie James to his chair once because he couldn't sit still long enough to read a paragraph." More laughter followed this statement.

"Actually, it was a Sticking Charm, Siri," Severus said quietly, smiling a little at the memory.

Beside him, the graceful auburn-haired Lily Potter sniffed, and said sadly, "He could try the patience of a saint sometimes, Sev, but God . . .I'm going to miss him." She quickly dropped her eyes to the ground, but there were no tears in them. Not yet. She refused to break down in public, though the loss of her husband left a gaping crater in her heart.

"I know, Lil. We all will, especially Harry," said the Master Healer. Sirius was speaking now of James's boyhood escapades, all of which the two knew by heart, since they'd been a part of many of them. The five of them had been childhood playmates and friends, Lily and Severus had been neighbors and they had met James, Sirius, and Remus at Hogwarts. At first, things had been awkward between them, since Severus and Lily were in Slytherin and Ravenclaw and the others had been Gryffindors, but they had soon learned to set aside the House rivalry and become friends. It was a friendship that had lasted through school and beyond.

"Speaking of Harry, where is he?"

Lily raised her head, her green eyes sorrowful. "He's with my parents, Sev. I didn't want him to be at the funeral, he's too little to understand, and it'll only upset him. He keeps looking around for James and calling Dada. It just about breaks my heart, Sev."

He gave her shoulder another comforting squeeze. "I know, little flower," he murmured, using the pet name he'd invented for her long ago, when they had once entertained thoughts of dating, until James had come dashing in and swept Lily off her feet. "Someday we'll have to tell him about his father, since he won't really remember him at all. But for now . . .how are _you_ holding up, Lily?" The instant the words left his mouth, he wanted to kick himself. _How do you __**think**__ she's holding up, Snape, you idiot? She's just lost her husband, for Merlin's sake!_

Lily gave him a weary smile. "I . . .I'm managing. It's about all I can do, right now. I just want this to be over. James was never one for long farewells. You know him. It was always, Bye, luv, see you in the morning! Give a kiss to the rugrat for me, and I'll be back soon as I kick Voldy's scaly arse! Then he'd give me a quick kiss and a hug and off he'd go, wand in hand, ready to teach those slimy necromancers what it meant to mess with Auror Potter again." Lily sniffed sharply. "God, he loved his job, Sev. But there were times I used to wish . . .that he'd be content to just stay home with me and Harry."

"That was never James's way," Severus said honestly. _Good one, Severus! Some friend you are, reminding her of how her husband was never home most of the time. _He wanted to slap himself, but he was not at his best during funerals. He hated them, he had seen too many of them during his short twenty-one years of life, and his physician's soul dreaded them like the plague. He always felt so awkward and he never knew the right words to say, since "I'm sorry" just wasn't enough.

"No." Lily agreed. "I always knew that he would either die a hero or die doing some insane Quidditch stunt, because it wasn't in James to go quietly into the night, an old man in his bed. He was like those Spartans of ancient Greece-with your shield or on it, all glory and honor to die in battle." Her mouth tightened then. "I'm glad, though, that he died doing what he loved best, saving innocents from scum like Riddle, and that his sacrifice will be remembered. He'd of liked that."

"Yes. I'm sure he's looking down from heaven right now and swearing at the wizard artist who made his sculpture in the Ministry, saying he was **much** handsomer than that and why couldn't old Voldy be smashed flat under his boot, like a gladiator's fallen opponent in ancient Rome? But at least he'll go down in history as one of the three who killed Voldemort."

"Four," Lily corrected softly. "Don't sell yourself short, Master Healer."

Severus waved a hand dismissively. "All I did was invent a potion, Lily. James, Padfoot, and Moony did all the real work, fighting him and his Inner Circle in that last battle."

"If it weren't for your little Null Magic Draft, Sev, they'd have never been able to kill him for sure," Lily disagreed. "That made it possible for Remus to get through his shields and protections and tear out his throat, and for Sirius and James to immobilize him as well. Without that, they'd never have been able to kill him, he was too strong magically. No one else would have ever thought of inventing a potion you could use as a contact weapon, spraying it at old Snake Head like an insecticide. You were instrumental in Riddle's death just as much as any Auror, that's why the Ministry gave you the Order of Merlin First Class."

Severus sighed. "I'd have rather them give me a donation to St. Mungos, it'd be of more use than a medal. We could use the extra for more medical supplies. We were understaffed to begin with, and now we barely have space for all the new casualties from this last battle. Blessed Nimue, but at least now the Beast is dead, we won't have to worry about working ourselves to death trying to heal everyone he's victimized."

Lily nodded solemnly, Severus's words recalling to her the fact that she was not alone in losing a loved one to the crazed megalomaniac. Plenty of other families also faced the devastating loss of a loved one as well. "We can all sleep a little easier at night now that he's gone. James would be the first to tell me that."

Up on the rostrum, Sirius was making his closing remarks, sniffling softly into another tissue. "So . . .what I'd like to say most about James is that he was a good man-he was like my brother, got me into trouble on a regular basis, but he also got me out of it too, and when it came time to face the consequences, whether it be angry parents or employers or whatever, he stood right by me and took his lumps and never complained. And when we fought old Voldy and his Inner Circle, James never hesitated. He got right in the bastard's face and told him here was a present from a secret admirer and he let him have it with that Null Magic Draft of Severus's. He knew it would most likely mean his death, but he did what he had to do, his duty as an Auror, and for that I'll honor his memory always. He was kind of like that ancient Greek hero Achilles, he chose to die a hero, and his name will never be forgotten."

Then the Auror pulled out a bottle of firewhiskey and a glass and poured a measure of it. "Here's to you, James. Don't drive poor St. Peter nuts up there, y'hear, mate?" He downed the shot in one swallow, then banished the glass and the bottle. "Thanks for listening."

He stepped down from the rostrum and Albus Dumbledore stood up and intoned gravely, "Let us all bow our heads and have a moment of silence to honor James, our fallen friend, husband, father, and hero. May the angels welcome him home for all eternity. Amen."

Then he waved his wand and James's coffin was slowly lowered into the grave. Brilliant white blossoms and shimmering stars accompanied the coffin to its final resting place. Slowly, each mourner lifted a handful of dirt and threw it into the grave as they went by.

Lily's hand trembled as she did so, but she remained dry-eyed until Albus sealed the grave with another spell and caused a beautiful blanket of carnations to grow over it.

Only then did the finality of her husband's death hit her. _He's gone. He'll never come home to me or Harry again. _Her heart whispered, and it seemed as if her entire being screamed in denial. She whirled around, intending to run away before she fell apart entirely, only to be caught in a pair of strong arms.

She buried her face in Severus's familiar white robes, shaking and whimpering, "Sev, he's really gone, isn't he? Oh Merlin, what do I do now?"

Severus said nothing, he simply held her as she began to sob, allowing herself the release of tears at last. He held her for a long time, as she sobbed and sobbed, dampening his robe with tears of sorrow and regret and longing for the brave smiling man who was now still forever beneath the great oak tree in the Ministry cemetery for fallen heroes.

**A/N: Well, how did you like? Please review! Next you'll meet a small toddler Harry and Lily's parents!**


	2. His Father's Son

**His Father's Son**

Lily was grateful that it was Severus she had chosen to fall apart on, because unlike some of her other well-meaning friends, Severus didn't bother with the standard platitudes, saying she would be all right eventually and that at least James was in heaven now and all that. He simply held her close and just let her grieve. His hand rubbed gentle circles on her back and then he ran his fingers through her hair, he had always loved playing with her long fiery red hair.

When it became obvious that she wouldn't be stopping any time soon, Severus picked her up and went to sit down on a nearby bench, ignoring the shocked stares of some of the other mourners. He knew some of the older witches thought it improper for a man unrelated to her to be holding widow Potter like that, but Severus could have cared less. Lily needed him, he had promised long ago that he would always be there for her, and he intended to keep that promise, and to hell with those gossipy old biddies. He flashed one disapproving old stick a Snape glare worthy of his father Tobias, and had the satisfaction of hearing her gasp and turn away before he sat down and cradled the slender witch on his lap, giving Lily the comfort she so badly needed during this wretched time.

She was his best friend, the woman that he loved, though he could never admit that to anyone once she had married James. So he had buried his desire and longing down deep in a corner of his mind, resolved to not let it surface and ruin his friends' marriage, for he was not one to play the rogue and try and seduce another man's wife. Yet now, even though he too was grieving, he felt a small traitorous corner of his heart stir and rejoice at finally holding his love in his arms at last, the way he had done in his dreams. He sternly told the corner of his heart to shut up and continued holding Lily, humming softly to calm her the way his mother used to do to him when he cried like that, which had usually been after a session with Tobias's belt as a child. _No, there was one other time I wept this way. When Mum died, I cried like this on Lily's shoulder. Turnabout's fair play this time._

None of the other mourners commented on the rather improper sight of Healer Snape holding James Potter's widow on his lap, they simply nodded or offered condolences before drifting away. And when one unwise press photographer from _The Daily Prophet_ came and tried to snap their picture, doubtless planning to stick some lurid suggestive headline under it, Severus gave him a glare worthy of a Hungarian Horntail and snarled, "Put it away, before you find it and yourself blown all the way to China. Where's your common decency, show some respect, Merlin blast you! Must you prey upon her even now, you little maggot? Leave her alone, go and find your story elsewhere!"

The photographer had turned pale as a dead flobberworm and scurried away, clutching the camera to him like a shield.

Severus snorted. "Humph! Damn vultures!" he shifted the woman on his lap slightly. "Lily, do you want me to Apparate us back to your house?"

She lifted her head from his shoulder, her green eyes red-rimmed and her fair skin blotchy from crying. She hated it when she cried, for she knew it made her look a fright. Unlike some women, who could cry buckets and still look pretty, Lily thought with a tinge of envy. But this was her oldest and best friend, and she knew she didn't need to keep up appearances with him. "Thanks, Sev, but if you don't mind, we need to go to my parents' to pick up Harry. He was kind of cranky when I left, so I hope he's been behaving." She sighed, not knowing if she was up to dealing with a cranky baby right then, but she had no choice.

She slid off his lap, wishing for a moment that she could stay in the shelter of his arms. She had almost stopped crying when she heard what he had said to that nosy reporter or whoever he was. But she wasn't surprised, Severus had always protected her when they were children, even when the protecting had cost him a black eye or a bloody nose. _Okay, buck up, Lily. Time to quit crying and start dealing with the fact that you're now a single parent, _she told herself firmly.

But even the mere thought of going home to her empty house filled her with a sort of dread. She took a deep breath, then another. Somehow, she would manage. She had no choice, she was the only parent her little son had now. She had to be strong for Harry.

Severus gently took her arm, then Apparated away to the Evans house, which was at the opposite end of wizarding London, on a street called Spinner's End. This was also the street where Tobias lived, though Severus was not intending on paying a social call to his father, who was an alcoholic and had not been on speaking terms with his wizard son since Eileen Snape had passed away three years ago.

Lily's childhood home was a pleasant two-story brick with white siding affair. It had a large door with a brass dog's head knocker on it, Sev could remember banging that knocker up and down for fun when they were children, until Henry Evans used to bellow at them to knock it off. _We were mischievous little scamps back then, the two of us,_ the Master Healer reminisced as he and Lily walked up to the door. Along the walk were manicured beds of hydrangeas, tulips, lilies, petunias, and snapdragons, as well as two large rose bushes on either side of the porch. Violet Evans adored her flower garden, one reason why she had such a prolific one and had named her daughters after some of her favorite flowers.

The perfume of the tea roses and the lilies and hydrangeas soothed Lily's weary spirit. Whenever she smelled those particular flowers, which she also grew in her own yard, she was reminded of her home. Unlike Severus, who had grown up with an abusive alcoholic father who had made his childhood a misery, Lily had only good memories of her home, and she visited her parents regularly every other Sunday, with Harry and James, when he hadn't been working a case.

Lily carefully blotted her eyes with a tissue before she lifted the brass ring in the dog's mouth and knocked sharply.

"Just a minute!" came a woman's voice from somewhere inside.

A moment later, the door was opened and Violet Evans was embracing her daughter. Vi, as she preferred to be called, was a plump auburn-haired woman in her mid-forties, she was wearing a black dress and shoes and no make-up. The solemn attire made her seem almost a stranger to Severus, who was used to seeing Lily's mother in bright vibrant colors and usually with lipstick and eyeshadow accentuating her brilliant green eyes, which her youngest daughter had inherited.

She looked up from hugging her daughter and smiled sadly at the master Healer. "Hello, Sev. It's been awhile since you've come knocking at my door. I wish this had been different circumstances."

"So do I, Vi," Severus said heavily.

"Well, come in then, boy, you know you're always welcome in my house, Severus Snape!" She had one arm around her daughter and reached out the other to pat him familiarly on the cheek, an intimacy he would have permitted no one else save his mother. But Vi was like a surrogate mother to him, she had fixed up his scraped knees and dried his tears, hugged and scolded him the same as she had done her own daughters when they were growing up.

"Where's Dad?" Lily asked softly, looking about the familiar sunflower motif kitchen as though she had never seen it before. There was a dragon print diaper bag resting on the table along with a half-full bottle of milk and an assortment of small toys.

"Trying to put your scamp of a son down for a nap," answered her mother, ushering her to a seat. "He's been awful cranky today, Lil. Wouldn't eat, barely took his bottle, I think he may be running a temperature. He keeps pulling at his ear and whimpering, poor little mite. The only one he seems to want today has been his Pop Evans."

"It sounds like he has an ear infection," Severus spoke up then, shifting instantly from concerned grieving friend into Healer mode. "Would you like me to examine him, Lily?" He'd been Harry's physician since the boy was born, having delivered him, but he always asked permission before examining any child.

"Please, Sev." Lily said, giving him a grateful look.

"I'll tell Hal to bring him in here, I don't think he's gotten him to sleep yet," said Vi, and she bustled off upstairs to get her husband and her grandson.

Lily remained seated in the chair, feeling emotionally drained and numb, she wanted to sleep for a year, the knowledge that she was now a widow was like a rock in the center of her stomach, hard and unyielding. Funny, she had dealt with James being away from home on a daily basis, especially once the troubles with Voldemort had started. But she had always known that one day James would walk through the door again, with a hug and a kiss and his familiar devil-may-care grin. Now, however, he would never return, and it left a bitter sharp ache in her heart.

She sniffled sharply, and felt Severus squeeze her shoulder gently and hand her another tissue. "Thanks, Sev. I'm sorry for falling apart like that."

"Lily, remember what you said to me when my mother died? I'm going to say the same thing to you now. James has just died, the man you loved, and you're entitled to fall apart, in fact I expect you to fall apart and cry all over me like there's no tomorrow, because that's what I'm here for. Now and always,' he said sincerely.

She sniffled and gave him a watery smile through her tears. Then she resolutely wiped them away, she didn't want to frighten her son, Harry was a very sensitive baby and grew upset if someone was crying around him.

"Here you go, luv! There's Mummy!" Vi announced, as she came into the kitchen, holding Harry in her arms.

The dark-haired little boy was fussing, his normally cheerful face pulled down into a frown, his green eyes bright with fever and pain. But they lit with joy when he saw Lily, and he reached for her with both chubby arms. "Mummy! Mummy home!"

"Hello, sweetheart! How's my little man doing today?" Lily swept her son into a fierce hug, burying her face in his hair, which was sticking up all over creation as usual. He smelled of baby powder and she saw her father had managed to get him into his sleeper, which was a red one with little Golden Snitches flying all over it.

Lily heard her father enter the kitchen, though she didn't look up from hugging her child. _Oh, Harry. You look so like your father. You're the one thing I have left of him, the last of the Potters._ James's parents had both died untimely deaths, his father Charles had been killed from a fall off of a broom while doing some dangerous aerial maneuvers in a parade four years ago, and his mother Anna had died two years before her husband from a heart attack. Their vast fortune had passed to their only son, and now it would go to Harry, to be put in trust in Gringotts until he was of age, or Lily needed to withdraw funds from the account.

"Hello, Sev. Long time no see, doc."

"Hello, Hal. My practice keeps me too busy to visit much any more, I'm afraid," Severus told the older man, who was nearly as tall as he was, built like a lumberjack, with a shock of premature white hair. But his fierce appearance hid a genial nature and a gentle heart.

"Guess that's how you know if you're a good doctor, right?" chuckled Hal.

Severus nodded, turning to look at Harry, who was now squirming in Lily's arms. "Hey, scamp. I hear you're not feeling so good today."

Harry turned to look up at the familiar white-robed Healer. "Sevvy!" he crowed and held up his arms. "Harry's ear hurts."

Severus picked up the little child and hugged him. "Your ear, is it? Well, let's see what I can do for it, all right?" He gazed at Lily. "Lil, would you like me to try and treat him here, or in my office? I have everything I need there, though I can summon it here if you'd rather."

"No, Sev. It'd probably be better if you treated him in your office, I don't want to put you out," Lily said quickly. She rose to hug her father. "Hi, Dad."

"Hello, princess," he murmured. "I wish this were any other Sunday," Hal coughed, brushing a tear from his eye, for he had been fond of James. "I'm sorry, I wish I could do something to make this easier for you."

"It's all right, Dad. You've done more than enough, watching Harry."

"Well . . .if there's anything else we can do, you know all you have to do is call and we'll be over." He hugged his daughter hard. Lily rested her head on his shoulder and cried a bit more.

"Later on, dear, when you're up to it, I'd like to bring some flowers and plant them next to James's headstone," Vi said quietly. "They're marigolds, James always did like them."

"Sure, Mum. That'd be great. He'd of liked that," Lily said, withdrawing from her father's arms. "I'd better get going. Thank you for watching Harry."

"We love watching our grandson, silly girl," said her mother, handing Lily the diaper bag and the bottle and the toys. "I hope the poor thing feels better. You take good care of him, Severus, y'hear?" she ordered, shaking a finger at the tall Master Healer in mock-reproof.

"Yes, Mrs. Evans," he said, pretending to look cowed.

"And take care of Lily too," added Hal.

"I shall," Severus promised, cuddling Harry to his chest. The child whimpered, "Ow! Hurts, Sevvy." He reached up and tugged at his ear.

Lily waved her wand at the diaper bag and Harry's toys, chanting a Shrinking Charm. "Bye, Mum and Dad. I'll see you next week."

"I'll call you, dear," said Vi, hugging her daughter and kissing her cheek. "Now go on, get that poor baby some magic elixir or whatever. He wouldn't take any medicine from me, I tried to give him some aspirin and children's Tylenol."

"Harry hates taking medicine, Mum. He only takes it for me or Sev, and even then he'll fight us sometimes," Lily told her mother.

Severus bid them goodbye also and they hugged and kissed their grandson and then Severus as well for good measure, much to his embarrassment.

Then both wizards Apparated away to Severus's office, which was on Whisper Street, five blocks from St. Mungos. The sign outside the neat white building read _M.H. Snape & H. Morgan_ for Severus had recently signed on a partner to help him with his workload, a sandy-haired transplant from America named Matthew Morgan.

Severus disabled the alarm and the locking charm on the office, then he and Harry and Lily entered. The lights went on immediately, they were spelled to do so as soon as a person entered the reception room, which was filled with comfy couches and chairs and had a table filled with the latest periodicals and books. There was a box with toys in one corner for children to play with while they waited for their exam. Severus pushed open the door leading to the exam rooms beyond the reception area, carrying Harry on his hip.

He brought the child into a room papered in silly bunnies and unicorns and set him down on the exam table. Harry looked up at him uneasily. "No shot, righ', Sevvy?"

"No, scamp. No shots today," reassured Severus, drawing his wand. "Okay, young man. Let's see what's bothering you."

He cast a standard diagnostic spell. "Ah ha, as I thought. A bad ear infection. Plus a 102 degree fever and a touch of diarrhea as well. Poor scamp! No wonder you were cranky."

Harry sniffled and pulled his ear again. "Hurts!"

"Yes, I know. I have a potion to make it stop hurting," Severus told him. He summoned three vials and a jar from the stores in his office. Then he pulled on a set of gloves and got a rather large medicine dropper out of a drawer.

"Lily, you might want to hold him on your lap, because he's not going to like the Ear Remedy I have to put inside his ear. It tingles a bit, but you know how he fusses." Severus informed her.

"C'mere, love." Lily took Harry off the exam table and held him on her lap. "Now, you be good and hold still for Mummy and Healer Sev, okay?" she murmured, tilting his head to the side and brushing his hair away from his right ear, which was red from the child's fingers rubbing and pulling at it.

Harry squirmed. "No-o-o! No touch! Hurts!" He began to cry.

Lily hushed him and held him firmly while Severus filled a medicine dropper with the Ear Remedy and gently inserted it into the little ear canal. "Easy. I know it doesn't feel nice right now, but it'll make that nasty infection go away in an hour or two," Severus told him, wincing at the child's sobs. He knew the potion didn't really hurt, but Harry was irritable and the last thing he wanted was to have medicine, slightly warm medicine at that, put in his ear.

The Master Healer massaged the ear gently at the base, making sure all the potion had gone down the ear canal. "There. All done. See, that wasn't so bad." Harry quickly stopped crying once he realized his ear had stopped hurting. Severus conjured a chocolate bar and gave a piece of it to Harry at Lily's nod. "Here's some chocolate, scamp, since you were so brave."

Harry ate the Honeydukes Creamy Milk Chocolate bar eagerly. "Mmm . . . good!"

"And there's more where that came from if you're a good boy and take some more medicine for me," the Healer told him.

Harry swallowed the rest of the chocolate and looked up at Sev with a stubborn expression. "No. No more med'cine, Sevvy."

"Very well, then no more chocolate."

Harry's face crinkled. "Want it."

"Sorry. Only good little boys who listen to their Healers get candy. Those are the rules," Severus told the recalcitrant child sternly.

"Harry good!" He looked at Lily. "Mummy, Harry good!"

"Not if you don't listen to Healer Sev," Lily told him firmly.

The little boy considered. He really hated medicine, but he loved chocolate. He eyed the potions then nodded reluctantly. "Kay. Take med'cine."

"That's my good boy!" Lily praised, kissing him. Then she sat him up in her lap. "What are you giving him, Sev?"

"Children's Fever reducer and a mild Anti-Diarrhea draft," answered the Master Healer, pouring out the green Fever Reducer onto a plastic spoon. "Open wide, Harry."

The child screwed up his face, but he obeyed, allowing Severus to give him the yucky potion, it tasted like limes. Harry sputtered, but Severus tipped his chin up so he couldn't spit it out and said firmly, "Swallow. Good job!"

"Yuck!" his patient cried.

"I know, but it'll make you feel better, little one." Severus ruffled his hair. "One more." He poured a thicker yellow potion onto the spoon, this one tasted slightly better, like bananas.

Harry took that one easier, a good thing too, for Severus gave him two spoonfuls then told Lily to give him another tomorrow morning and gave her the vial. "His bowel movements should be back to normal by the afternoon after that last dose, but if they're not, call me."

"Okay, Sev," she agreed, tucking the potion in her pocket.

"Here you go, Harry," Severus handed him two more squares of chocolate.

The child crammed them both in his mouth, and Lily just shook her head in dismay. "Sugar monster."

Severus uncapped the jar of salve. "I have some Rash Away I can put on his bottom, he has a bit of a rash there, it'll work quicker than the cornstarch powder your mother put on him."

Lily yawned, she could feel exhaustion sweeping over her. Normally, she would have said she could apply the salve herself, but after the day she had had, she was grateful for Severus's assistance. "I'm sorry, I feel like my eyes are filled with sand," she apologized.

"I'm almost done here, Lil. Then I can Apparate you home. The Fever Reducer should make Harry sleepy, so he'll sleep through the night." Severus said, lifting Harry from her arms and laying him on the exam table.

"You sure you remember how to change a nappy, Sev?" she teased.

He pretended to look insulted. "I'm a physician, my lady. Of course I know how." he suited actions to words then, unzipping the sleeper and removing the soiled nappy. Harry squirmed and kicked, whining. "Oww! No!"

"Ah, stay still, Harry," ordered the Healer, carefully cleaning the child with a warm damp cloth, holding him firmly so he couldn't wriggle away. "This will be done in two minutes if you'd quit fighting me, boy," he grumbled.

"No! No! Bad Sevvy!" sobbed the child, for his bottom was very tender.

"Sorry, but this has to be done, now hold still." He quickly finished with the cloth and then applied a generous amount of salve. "There! How's that feel, Mr. Potter? Better?"

"Uh-huh," sniffled the little imp, and he allowed Snape to put a fresh nappy on him and put his sleeper back on.

Severus banished the soiled nappy and cloth and picked up Harry and hugged him. The little boy rested his head trustingly on the Healer's shoulder. "Dada home?" he murmured in Sev's ear.

Severus froze. Oh, Merlin! How could you explain to a thirteen-month old that his father was dead? "Ummm . . .no, Harry. He's not. He's . . .uh . . .away . . ." stammered the Healer, not knowing what else to say.

"Oh." Harry looked disappointed, but then he yawned. His daddy was often away, so that was nothing new.

Severus slanted a glance at Lily to see how she reacted to her son's innocent question. He saw her eyes glimmering with unshed tears again. He knew that the mere mention of James's name would be enough to make her tear up for the next few months or even longer. "Lil, he doesn't understand . . ."

"I know, Sev. I know. How can he? He's just a baby. And he always asks for James. He's his father's son. The only thing I have left . . ." She trailed off, crying silently into another tissue.

Severus silently cursed Voldemort to the depths of hell. And then he found himself angry at James as well. _You just had to make the grand gesture, didn't you Potter? Had to go in with that charge of the bloody Valkyries mentality and get yourself killed being a hero, you stupid reckless Gryffindor idiot! Didn't you ever think of your family? Or was your damn job more important?_ Deep down he knew he wasn't being fair, but he couldn't stand to see Lily in such agony and now Harry was without a father too.

Harry eyed his mother in alarm. "Mummy cry? Sad?" He reached for her and Lily took him from Sev's arms. He wrapped his arms about her and hugged her tight. "No cry. Harry loves Mummy."

"I know, baby. I love you too." She gently kissed her son. "I guess I'd better be going, Sev. Thank you so much. I don't know how I-"

"Don't even finish that sentence, Lily," Severus interrupted. "I'm your friend and there are no debts between us. Now, are you sure you want to Apparate home alone? I could come with you, or you could stay at my apartment. It's small, but it can fit you and Harry for a night."

"No, Sev." Lily shook her head firmly. "Much as I'd love to, it's better if I bring Harry home. I have to get used to being alone."

Severus recognized the stubborn glint in her eye and quit pressing. "Very well. But if you change your mind, you have only to call me. Good night, little flower." He gently kissed her cheek.

"Me!" Harry insisted, turning up his little face for Severus to kiss.

Severus obliged, gently kissing the boy's forehead. "Be good, scamp. Listen to your mum, all right?"

Harry nodded. "Bye, Sevvy."

"Goodbye, imp. I'll see you soon." He hugged the little boy, and then Lily Apparated away in a flicker of blue light, back to her solitary home on Merlin Avenue, where she ended up falling asleep in her bed with Harry curled next to her, waiting for familiar footsteps and a voice that would never come again.

**Simply because Voldy's gone doesn't mean the Death Eaters are . . .they'll make an appearance in a few chapters!**


	3. Bittersweet Memories

**Bittersweet Memories**

__

Four days after the funeral:

Lily picked up a stuffed dragon of Harry's that he had thrown on the floor in a temper when she had tried to put him down for a nap yesterday, she had been so tired after wrestling with her cranky son that she hadn't bothered to pick it up until this morning. She tucked it under her arm, glad Harry was in a much better mood this morning, eating his cereal and fruit without a fuss and now he was sitting in his little chair in front of the TV watching cartoons.

Though her house was primarily a wizarding establishment, Lily refused to give up all ties to her Muggle life, and so she had some Muggle things in it, such as a TV, refrigerator, and a stove and oven. James had wanted them to get a house elf, but Lily had put her foot down, she found the whole idea of binding another intelligent creature to serve her as utterly abhorrent. "I may be a wizard, James Potter, but I'm not a pureblood and I refuse to have a slave in this house to do things I can do myself. We abolished slavery in England centuries ago and I won't bring it back now, no matter if it's the way it's always been done."

That had been one of the first major arguments they'd had, she thought with a flicker of sadness. But it had been one that she had won, and had never regretted it. Until now, when she was exhausted, rundown, and plain miserable. Today, she thought with a weary sigh, she could have used a house elf to help her pick up after her son, and mind the little mischief maker while she had a bit of a lie down. The past four days had been hellish, she was always tired and James was everywhere in the house.

Every time she turned around, she found another picture, or an article of clothing, his broom was in the coat closet, his clothes were still in the dresser, the other morning she had gone to take a shower and found his razor and soap in there and started bawling uncontrollably. Yet when she tried to make herself get rid of his things, she found herself unable to let go. She had buried him, did she have to erase all traces of him from her existence now? How would Harry remember his father if she kept nothing of his to show her son when he was old enough to understand?

And yet, she found herself haunted every time she walked into a room. She kept waiting for the Floo to flare green and her husband to step out of the fireplace, wearing his familiar grin and calling, "Hey, babe, I'm home!" Or she would wake in the middle of the night and reach over to hug him only to clutch empty air and shadows. She had taken to putting Harry in her bed with her so she was not alone, and thank Merlin the child did not seem to mind the new sleeping arrangements. But her son was no substitute for the presence of a strong man's arms about her.

Biting back a sob, all she seemed to do lately was cry, and she hated it, she had never wept much before this, Lily sat down on the soft blue sofa and hugged Harry's plush dragon to her, sniffling sharply. Her mother and father had called three times so far to ask how she was doing, she had told them she was managing. That was a lie, she wasn't managing anything. She, the competent, successful, witch who had graduated Head Girl alongside Severus Snape, hailed the brightest witch of her generation, was slowly falling to pieces.

It was all she could do to get out of bed in the morning lately, only the fact that she had a child to take care of motivated her enough to do so. _I can't deal with this any more. He's everywhere, all over this house. I turn around and I see him, standing there, laughing over some stupid joke Sirius told him, I go to eat and he's there at the table, arguing with Sev over the nutritional value of donuts, yesterday I was doing laundry and I found his shirt in the hamper. And I still have to go through his desk, and see what bills he owes to the tailor's and the Quidditch store and I don't know what all else. _

Unnoticed, two tears trickled down her face to land on the stuffed green dragon.

Harry giggled at something silly Tom did to Jerry and Lily looked up at the TV and managed a slight smile. Watching cartoons was something she and Harry had always done together on Saturday mornings, especially when James was away. She could recall doing the same thing with Sev when they were kids and he was sleeping over her house. They had always woken up at 7AM and crept down into the den and turned the TV on low and watched Bugs Bunny and Batman and Superman and whatever else was on until her mother woke up and dragged them away from the TV by their ear to eat breakfast.

_Mum always used let Sev and I eat in the den though, because she knew we'd fuss if we didn't get to see all the cartoons that were on. And Tuney would be furious, since she hardly ever got to eat in there with her friends, because they were slobs and made a wreck out of everything. _

Her sister, who was four years her senior, had always resented the fact that Lily had magic and had never lost an opportunity to belittle and taunt her sister or Severus, whom she called a charity case, at least until Hal had caught her one day and had made her apologize to Severus and grounded her for three weeks and lectured her into next week as well.

But Tuney wasn't as insensitive as she had seemed, her sister had sent her a huge arrangement of flowers for the funeral, since Vernon flatly refused to attend any freak function, as he put it, and a sympathy card as well. Lily hadn't seen her sister in over six months, they lived over an hour away and Lily and James had never gotten along with Vernon, who detested them and was even more magic-phobic than Petunia. It was sad though, that she was no longer close with Petunia, for she could have used a sister's comforting embrace right about now. Once, they had been close, when they were younger, before Lily's powers had begun to show themselves and she had met Severus. Once, when she had worshipped her older sister, and thought Petunia knew everything.

_James used to call Petunia Lady Sourpuss because he said she always had a sour look on her face, like she'd just swallowed a handful of pickle-flavored Bertie Botts Beans. And every time she saw us kissing or holding hands, she would sniff and click her tongue at us like a disapproving grandmother. Petunia had hated that, and would say that James was nothing more than a hormonlly driven rich playboy out for a good time, _Lily sister had been wrong about that, as she had about a great many things. She used to rant to Lily that Severus would never be more than a drunken bum, like _his_ old man Tobias, but Severus was a brilliant Master Healer, one of the highest accredited wizards in his profession and now he was a hero as well.

__

Like James is a hero now too. The fallen hero, gone up in a bright burning spark, like Achilles in the Iliad.

She pressed the heel of her hand into her forehead, she had a massive headache brewing again, and no more Headache Remedy left, nor did she have the ingredients in her small lab to brew more, she had intended to visit the apothecary last week, but hadn't gotten around to it. And now . . .now she did not feel motivated to do anything except sit and mope in her house, overwhelmed with memories of a dead wizard husband.

Just then there came a sharp knock at the door, and Lily stiffened. _Oh Merlin, please, not more reporters. Don't tell me they've come again with another request for an interview or comments about what kind of man James was at home, or . . .or some other stupid thing._ Lily was tempted to just ignore the knock and see if they would go away, but Harry had heard it too and was looking over at the foyer.

"Door, Mummy. Knock, knock." He told Lily, his little face alight with hope. "Dada home now?"

"No, sweetie. Dada's not home," Lily repeated for what seemed like the thousandth time. "Just a minute!" she called, allowing a bit of irritation to enter her voice as the knocking was repeated.

She went to open the door, followed by her inquisitive son, to find her three best friends on her porch. "Moony! Padfoot! Sev! What are you doing here? Don't you have work?"

"Lil, it's Saturday," reminded Remus quietly, taking in the haggard witch's appearance with alarm. Lily looked as if she hadn't slept or ate properly in a week.

"We figured you could use the company," said Sirius, giving her a gentle smile.

"And some help with Harry," added Severus, upon catching sight of the child peeking out behind his mother's legs. "Hello, scamp."

"Sevvy!" Harry crowed, his green eyes lighting up. He came out from behind his mother and raced over to Severus, who picked him up before he could fall off the porch steps. "Mummy, Sevvy come." He threw his arms about the Master Healer and gave the dark-haired man a sloppy kiss on the cheek, much to the amusement of the other two.

"Guess we know where we stand, huh, Moony?" Sirius remarked, pretending to be insulted.

"A little humility is good for the soul, Black," Severus said, smirking. Then Harry noticed the other two standing there and cried, "Moony! Padfoot!"

"Hiya, kiddo!" Sirius reached out and rumpled the little boy's hair, which was a mess, as usual. "Gimme five!" He held out his hand, and Harry slapped his own little one down on it.

"Hey, imp!" Remus grinned at the child, who held out his arms to the blond werewolf, and Severus handed the wriggling boy over to his other "uncle".

"Come in, please," Lily said, flushing as she realized she had kept the three of them standing outside for five minutes. _Lily Ann Potter, where are your manners? Mum would be ashamed, _she scolded herself.

The two Aurors and Harry filed past her into the house, Harry babbling to them about some kind of cereal commercial he'd seen on TV, which the two wizard-raised men had no clue about.

Severus stepped inside next, but unlike his two friends, he noticed Lily's pallor and exhaustion and said softly, "When's the last time you had a decent night's sleep, Lily? Or something to eat? You look like a condemned prisoner about to be given the Kiss."

Lily dropped her gaze to the floor. "I feel that way too, Sev. I just . . .I don't know, don't have any energy, all I want to do is lie down and sleep. But then I dream of him . . ." she trailed off, blinking rapidly.

"Come with me," Severus ordered, putting an arm about her and leading her into the kitchen. "Siri, Moony, can you keep Harry occupied for a minute? I need to run a quick diagnostic here."

"Sev, that's not necessary . . ." Lily began.

"Sure, no problem," called back Sirius. "How d'you work this thing again, Harry?"

"It most certainly is," Severus insisted, drawing his wand. "Now be still." He frowned at the results of the spell. "How long have you had that headache, Lil?"

"I don't know. It started this morning," she responded listlessly.

"Where's your Headache Remedy?"

"I don't have anymore."

Severus shook his head. "Merlin, Lil! Here," he summoned his black bag with a snap of a finger, and removed a vial of a standard Headache Remedy. "Drink that all, Mrs. Potter, no arguments."

She made a face at him. "There's no need to get so dictatorial, Healer."

"Oh, yes, there is, seeing it's you." Severus scolded gently, holding out the vial.

She drank it down, not up to arguing with him. It began to work immediately, and her headache cleared up.

"Better now?"

"Much. Thanks."

"Now, let's get you a proper breakfast, before you fade away into nothing."

"Severus, I can cook for myself. I'm not an invalid."

"But you haven't been. So therefore I'm going to do it for you." The Healer moved over to the fridge and pulled out an egg, some sausage, and bread and butter.

Eight minutes later he set a plate of scrambled eggs, sausage, and buttered toast in front of her, as well as a cup of mint tea. "There. Now mind you eat it all, hear?"

"Yes, Dad." She rolled her eyes at him, but picked up her fork and took a bite, since it smelled too good to resist, and she found she was hungry after all.

Severus fixed himself a cup of tea as well and sat next to her while she ate. He drew two other vials from his bag and set them on the table. "After you're done eating, I want you to take a Calming Draft, Lil. The other one here is a Dreamless Sleep, so you can get a decent night's sleep tonight. Why didn't you call me before it got this bad, huh? You know I'm always available to you."

"I thought . . .I could handle it by myself," she said in a small voice.

"Oh, Lily. You don't have to handle it yourself, I'm your friend, that's what I'm here for. And Moony and Padfoot too. That's why we're here now, to help you go through James's stuff."

"What for?" she stopped eating to glare at him.

"Because it's not healthy for you to be dwelling on him like this. Look at you, you're exhausted, worn to a shadow, you aren't eating properly, and you're becoming depressed as well. You need to quit being reminded of him at every turn."

"But I don't want to forget him, Sev! He was my husband!"

"I know, I don't mean forget, but . . .you need to get out of this house for awhile. Before you drive yourself crazy wishing for something that can never be again." He was genuinely frightened by her seeming apathy and feared she might sink into a depressed state unless something were done. "Perhaps you might go to visit your parents for a bit?"

Lily suppressed a sigh. Vi had suggested that very thing yesterday, but Lily had said that wasn't necessary. Except now, with Severus eyeing her like some kind of injured doe . . ."My mother asked me if I'd like to stay with her and Dad for a few weeks or something. I didn't think I needed to, Sev. I just need some time .. .time to come to terms with the fact that James is . . .is gone." Tears welled up in her eyes and she swiped hastily at them with the handkerchief Severus handed her. "Sorry . . .I can't seem to stop crying every time I think about him."

Sev leaned over and patted her shoulder. "That's a normal reaction. I was the same after my mother died. Spent whole weeks with a box of tissues and a handkerchief by my side. You need to let yourself grieve, Lil."

"I don't have _time_ to grieve, Severus. I have a thirteen-month-old to look after." Lily said exasperatedly.

"Which is exactly why I think you should move in with your parents for a month or two. Then you'll have help with Harry and be able to let yourself grieve normally." He urged. "Lil, please listen to me. You can't go on like this, you're tearing yourself into pieces. And I'll be damned if I'm going to sit here and watch it happen. If you make me, I'll hospitalize you, if that's the only way I can get you to take care of yourself," he threatened, playing his last card.

"Severus, you wouldn't _dare_!" she cried, shocked.

"I would. You're my patient as well as my friend, and I'll do whatever I have to in order to preserve your health, Mrs. Potter. Nothing matters more to me. _Nothing._"

She stared at him for a full minute, her brilliant emerald eyes meeting his dark ones, and in them she saw a steely resolve and a concern so vast it nearly swallowed her. And beyond that was something more. Something she had not seen in any man's eyes save one, and he was gone forever. _Severus loves me_, she realized. _He always has. _She shut her eyes, unable to deal with this new development. But the thought of it warmed her cold sorrowing soul nonetheless.

"All right. What do you recommend, Healer Snape?"

"Are you going to follow my advice?"

She nodded.

"Very well. I want to help you go through James's things, along with Sirius and Remus. It'll help all of us through the grieving process, to remember good times and bad." He ran a hand through his hair. "I miss him also, Lil. He was my friend too. Granted I was never as close to him as Padfoot was, they were like brothers, and I was always closer to Remus. But still . . ." His eyes flickered regret and sorrow, causing Lily to lay her hand on his arm.

"I'm sorry, Sev. I'm being selfish, thinking I'm the only one who misses him, just because I loved him as a wife does her husband. There are more kinds of love than just that, and you knew him as long as I had." She sipped her tea, then asked, "What else, Healer?"

"You take whatever potions I prescribe for you. And you get eight to ten hours of sleep every night. And start eating decent meals, you're too thin. Lastly, let your parents or one of us help you with Harry. You shouldn't think you have to do it all yourself, what are you trying to prove? That you're Wonder Woman?"

"He's my son, I should be able to look after my own child," she objected, a touch of anger coloring her tone.

"Yes, if you were not sick with grief over your dead husband. But you are, and so you need to let someone else shoulder the burden for a time. I know your parents would be more than happy to have you move back in with them for awhile, just until you've gotten back on your feet. I think it would be a wise decision. You're too isolated here, and worse, you're reminded of him every time you turn around."

"Why is that bad?"

"Think of it this way. Your losing James created a great gaping wound in your heart. You've managed to bandage it back together and it's scabbed over somewhat, but every time you look around here you're reminded of him, and the wound in your heart is torn open anew. You can never heal if you're always tearing your heart open, Lily. You need some distance right now, so that wound can scab over and heal. Do you understand?"

Slowly, she nodded. "Yes." Then her eyes narrowed. "Have you been talking to my mother lately, Severus?"

He looked away quickly, but she could see by the faintly guilty look in his eyes that she was right. "She told me I needed to visit you, Lily. Said she didn't think you were as fine as you pretended, and I should drop by and see for myself how you were. I'm glad I took her advice, Lil."

"Severus Snape!" She shook a finger at him. "I thought you were my friend, and here I find you're . . .collaborating with my mother!"

"She was worried about you, Lily." Severus said quietly, not looking chastened at all. "As am I. And Siri and Remus too. We don't want to see anything bad happen to you, flower. James would come down from heaven and kick all our arses if that happened."

She smiled a little at the image his words conjured. "He would, wouldn't he?" Then she eyed him shrewdly. "All right, Sev. You win. I'll move back with the folks for a bit. Damn you for a sneaky slick-talking Slytherin!"

"Good thing, because I doubt if any of the lions could have persuaded you, they're all bark and not enough bite." Severus chuckled, relieved that she would do as he had told her. _And neither of them love you the way I do,_ whispered the truthful part of his heart. "Finish you tea, please, then we can start going through stuff."

"Yes, sir, Healer Snape!" she mimed a salute at him, and he laughed.

Just then they heard Harry yelling from the den, "NO! Don' want you to read, Padfoot!"

"Huh? But Harry, you love being read to, and it's almost time for your nap," Sirius persuaded.

"No! No read an' no nap!" the little boy cried.

"Harry, can I read to you instead?" asked Remus.

But the little boy refused the werewolf as well. "No! Not you! Want Sevvy!"

"Uh oh. You're being summoned, Sev," Lily smirked.

"Sevvy!" shouted Harry. "Where you?"

"In here, scamp."

Two minutes later the pitter patter of little feet were heard and then Harry came into the kitchen, he had managed to take his shoes off yet again, Lily observed with a sigh, and he had some kind of stain on his Snitch shirt that she suspected was chocolate. His two doting uncles could never resist his forlorn stares.

He grinned when he caught sight of Severus, running up to him and demanding imperiously, "Sevvy! Read, Sevvy! Read me book!"

"Excuse me?" Severus pretended to frown down at the little imp.

"Sevvy, read! Read me!" Harry repeated, giving the Healer his best pleading stare.

"Manners, Harry," his mother reminded. "How do you ask?"

Harry thought for a moment. Then he cried, "Pease read me, Sevvy? Pease?"

Emerald eyes implored him and combined with the word 'Please' proved too much for even Severus to resist. "All right, I'll read you two books, and then you'll take a nap, Mr. Potter. Agreed?"

Harry considered, before nodding. "'Kay, Sevvy. Read me!"

He grabbed the Healer's long fingers and tugged, drawing him back into the den. "Come!"

Severus allowed himself to be led back into the den, where he sat down on the couch. "All right, Harry. What book are we reading?"

Harry raced to the middle shelf of books and tugged out one with a bright orange cover. "Moon book again, Sevvy."

Severus groaned. "Oh _no!_ Not _Goodnight Moon_ again."

"Yes! Moon book. Sevvy read me!" Harry declared, and Sirius and Remus grinned at each other.

"I'll be damned. What's with him liking Sev all of sudden?" Remus asked his partner.

Severus looked up at the two Aurors. "I'm the one who's been babysitting him these past months, while you two and James were off hunting Voldemort." He sighed as Harry crawled up the sofa and into his lap, clutching the dreaded story in his chubby arms. "How many times does this make, Harry?" the Healer muttered. "Five hundred? I don't even need to look at the words."

Harry grinned up at the Healer and opened the book. "Read, Sevvy!"

The Master Healer cleared his throat. "Are you _sure_ you want to hear this one, Harry? What about _The Littlest Unicorn_?"

"No. Moon book. Read me!"

"Okay, you stubborn little . . ." Severus bit off the rest of what he was about to say, then began to read _Goodnight Moon_ for the umteenth time. "_In the great green room was a telephone and a red balloon and a picture of . . .a cow jumping over the moon . . ." _

Harry leaned against Severus's chest and sucked his thumb, looking at the pictures of the baby bunny and the room and every so often he would point a finger and say, "Look! Mouse, Sevvy! Mouse there!"

"Yes, the mouse is over there. Very good, Harry." There was a tiny white mouse in almost every page of the book somewhere in the picture, and Harry had long since memorized where it was and loved pointing it out over and over.

"What mouse?" Sirius looked over the couch at the book, squinting. "I don't see a mouse in the picture."

Harry twisted around to look up at his uncle, frowning. "Mouse there, Padfoot!" The tiny hand stabbed down at the picture, showing the tiny mouse near the fireplace.

"Oh." Sirius blushed. "Merlin, do I feel dumb. The kid is smarter than I am," he muttered to Remus, who just laughed.

"He's got his mother's brains, Black," Severus smirked. Then he resumed reading. "_Goodnight room , goodnight moon, goodnight socks, and goodnight fox. . . goodnight house. Goodnight mouse." _The Master Healer continued reading, as the bunny in the story bid goodnight to all the things in his room and outside as well, and as he did so, the room got darker and darker. _"Goodnight nobody, goodnight air, goodnight noises everywhere."_

As Severus read the last page, Harry snuggled into his chest and yawned. "More, Sevvy. More moon."

"Okay, scamp. Here we go again, Merlin help me." He opened the book and began to read it over again.

Remus, Sirius, and Lily, who had come in just as Severus had finished reading the book for the first time, put their hands over their mouths and giggled silently at the way the clever child could manipulate Severus into reading him the same book over and over.

But by the time they had read the book again, Harry's eyes were shutting in spite of himself. Severus gently set the book down on the sofa and rocked the little boy, and Harry cuddled into his shoulder and fell fast asleep, after murmuring, "Night, Sevvy."

"Looks like you've got the magic touch, Sev," remarked Remus.

"Either that or the magic book," Sirius said. "What is that book, anyway? I've never heard of it."

"It's a Muggle children's book." Severus replied, sighing. "It's probably required reading for every parent or caregiver with a child four and under."

"I loved it when I was a little girl," Lily said, gazing down at her sleeping child tenderly. "It was so soothing. It always put me right to sleep. Just like it does Harry." She reached out to take her sleeping son from the Master Healer, who surrendered him a bit reluctantly.

Once Lily had put Harry down in his room, they converged upon the master bedroom, where the men began going through James's clothes, which were many and varied, mostly wizard ones, though there were quite a few Muggle ones among them.

"Look at this, Moony," said Severus, pulling a set of James's Quidditch robes out of the armoire. "Remember the last Quidditch game of seventh year, which was the last time he wore these?"

"How could I forget? That was the game when he broke his damn arm and didn't let anyone know till he caught the Snitch," said the werewolf with a rueful smile. "Then he landed and nearly passed out at my feet."

"And Madam Pomfrey let you mend his arm, right, Sev?"

"She did. Told me there was no time like the present to start practicing my Healing skills," recalled the Master Healer. "And James just looked at me and says, "You'd better know what you're doing, Snape. I need my arm." Then I made him drink a Class Five Pain Reliever before I set the arm and cast a Bone-Mending Charm upon it. That wasn't the last time I patched him up either. He was as accident prone as any two-year-old."

"Poor Anna must have had her hands full when he was kid," Lily said.

"You've no idea," Sirius laughed. "For not only was James careless of his safety, he was always forgetting rules too."

Severus raised an eyebrow. "_Forgetting_, Sirius? Say rather deliberately disobeying."

"That too," admitted the Auror. "The pranks we used to pull. We were like whirlwinds. Always up to something. Drove everybody crazy."

"Did you ever get in trouble for those pranks, Siri?" asked Lily.

"Uh. . .yeah. Charles never let us get away with much. James was always sassing him and getting his mouth washed out for it or spanked for something or other. And so was I, since the Potters were almost like surrogate parents to me when I was growing up, and I was over there more than I was at my own house." The Auror chuckled. "I remember one time, James and I were eleven, just finished with out first year at Hogwarts, and his Aunt Cleopatra came over to visit, she must have been around a hundred and ten, and James gets this brilliant idea to play a joke on her."

"I'm almost afraid to ask. What did he come up with to scare the old woman to death?" inquired the Master Healer, sorting through a pile of socks.

"Uh . . .we waited till she was putting sugar in her tea, then we transfigured one of the sugar cubes into a little mouse. One minute she was holding a sugar cube and the next she had a mouse by the tail and nearly dunked it in her tea. Merlin, did she ever scream! I though she was gonna die right there. But James was cracking up, he thought it was the best joke ever. Least he did till his dad caught us and made us apologize, then he gave the both of us a good smacking with a blasted slipper." Sirius winced in remembrance.

"You two deserved it!" Lily scolded, waving her finger under Padfoot's nose. "You could have given the poor old lady heart failure."

"We never thought of that," Sirius admitted with a rueful chuckle. "All we thought about was having fun."

"Typical Gryffindors," snorted Severus. "Remember the apple tree dare, Lily?"

"Merlin, yes! I don't know what you two were thinking that time, Padfoot," she recalled, laughing softly. "Eating almost my whole apple tree in an afternoon."

"And Merlin, did we pay for it after!" Sirius groaned. "I had the worst stomachache in the history of the world, and all you two brilliant scholars did was make fun of us."

"Because you were so stupid. I warned you about eating too many apples and you just ignored me," Lily pointed out.

"And at least she had some Muggle medicine to give you for indigestion," Severus reminded.

"Yeah, and I almost puked taking it," grumbled the Auror.

"Glad I missed that one," Remus said. "I think I was home sick that day or something."

By the time they had finished the bedroom, removing nearly all of James's clothes, shoes, and personal effects, most of which could be donated to a secondhand shop in Diagon Alley for those families who couldn't afford new clothes, all four friends were much more relaxed and their reminiscences were colored with affection and warmth as well as tears.

"What next?" asked Remus, dusting off his hands.

"Now we do his desk," Lily said, and they moved into the study, where James had kept his Auror texts and Defense books and ledgers with the household expenses.

Predictably, James's desk was unorganized, with parchment scattered everywhere and letters and half-finished treatises stacked on top of each other.

Severus threw up his hands in horror. "Great Merlin's ghost! How the bloody hell could he work like this? It's-it's chaos."

"Not to James. He worked best in a mess," Sirius smiled sadly.

"Once I asked him how he found anything. He told me that he knew exactly which pile to look through," Lily said, brushing a tear from her eye.

"How the hell did he ever graduate the Auror Academy with study habits like this?" muttered Severus, who had been drilled in neatness by both Eileen and Tobias and cringed every time he looked at his former friend's desk.

"He charmed the instructors with his smile," Moony said.

"Yeah, Sandra Applegate had the hots for him," Sirius grinned. "When she found out he was getting married, she was devastated."

Lily recalled their wedding night, when her husband had said that he was the luckiest man alive, since he had married the girl of his dreams. _My reckless, devil-may-care, wild love. You may have died young, but you lived enough for three lifetimes, God knows. And I will miss you, but at least I have your son, your legacy, to comfort me._

Then she bent to start shuffling through the piles of papers, sorting the genuine articles and such from the trash.

They spent a whole three hours straightening the study, until Harry woke up, and then Lily went in to feed and change him, discovering that the wound in her heart had scabbed over a bit while reminiscing about all the crazy things James had done. And she resolved to follow the rest of Sev's advice and move her and Harry to her parent's house for the time being, for she knew that with the coming of night, James's ghost would return and haunt her dreams. Until she recalled the vial of Dreamless Sleep upon the kitchen table, and silently thanked Severus from the bottom of her heart. Perhaps, with the help of her friends, she would get through this.


	4. Of Tantrums and Conmen

**Of Tantrums and Conmen**

__

Four months later:

"Sev, where did we put that tea for colicky babies?" called Healer Matthew Morgan from the dispensary, which was right next to Severus's office.

Healer Snape glanced up from a patient's chart he was re-reading and answered his partner, "Third shelf, under the C's for Chamomile-lavender tea, in a round beaker with a graduated pouring spout."

"Thanks, now maybe the Felton's baby will quit howling and go to sleep after a dose of this." Matthew replied, and rummaged about the shelves until he located the tea, right where Severus had said it would be. The young Healer blessed his partner's insistence on labeling and alphabetical order and neatness in the dispensary, otherwise they'd never find anything, and have to rely on Summoning Charms, the way the doctors in the practice Matthew had interned with had done.

He picked up the beaker with the tea, it was spelled with a preserving charm to keep the tea at peak freshness, and exited the dispensary, which sealed itself with a locking charm and an alarm. No one could enter it unless they knew the password to disable the alarm, and the only ones who did were him and Severus. That was for the safety of their patients and their staff of medi-witches, since many of the healing potions in there could be dangerous if mis-dosed or addictive if taken too frequently. Only the two Healers knew the proper dosages for every medicine, though the med-witches knew all of the more common ones, and any of the others that were prescribed had to be dispensed by either Matthew or Severus.

Matthew paused beside his partner's half-open office door, reading the label stuck to the beaker, which detailed dosages and potency level. "Sev, are you _sure_ you're a real doctor? 'Cause you've got the neatest handwriting of any physician I've ever known. You can actually read this."

Severus looked up at the sandy-haired young man and gave him a wry smirk. "Wouldn't be much point of labeling something unless you could read it, huh, Morgan?"

"Yeah, but you even have a neat signature, Snape. You're destroying our rep as the most illegible of professionals," Matthew teased.

"So? Blame it on my mother, she insisted I learn how to write neatly and clearly," Severus said. Then he went back to writing comments on his current patient's chart.

"So did mine, only it didn't take," Matthew murmured, then he departed with the tea to give it to his patient, three month old Drew Felton, who was currently screaming his head off in Exam Room 3.

Severus wiped his hands off on a damp cloth which was soaked in a solution called Ink Gone, he had developed it to remove the ink that inevitably stained a wizard's hands, before he stretched and brushed the specks of dust off his white robe. Then he took a quick sip of the lemon water he always kept in a glass on his desk when he worked on paperwork, and sent the finished chart back into the file cabinet with a swish of his wand.

_One down, and seventy-five more to go, Snape._ He felt like burying his head in his hands and going to sleep. But he didn't, of course. This was the price you paid for having a thriving medical practice at twenty-one. And today was Thursday, the day when he only had a half-day of seeing patients, and he could then concentrate on updating all their charts for the rest of the day. He was halfway through the original stack, which had been double the number that were still on the desk.

Massaging his hand and flexing the fingers, the Master Healer sat down again and resolutely picked up another chart. When he examined a patient, he generally wrote his findings and diagnosis down in a kind of shorthand, but the actual chart needed proper documentation, which was what Severus was doing now. That way, if he needed to refer a patient to another physician, the other Healer could glance at the chart and not be utterly confused by Sev's shorthand.

He continued working for the next two hours, until his stomach was grumbling that coffee and a bagel were not enough to live off of until supper, and he decided to take a break for lunch.

He removed his white robe with the distinctive Master Healer caduces and cauldron and hung it over the back of his chair. Wearing the white robe in public was tantamount to flashing a sign saying _Free Medical Consult Here, _and all Sev wanted to do was to have a quiet lunch at Mick's, the small café a block from his office, and then finish up his charts and go home to relax.

So he left the robe upon the chair and walked the block to the café in his street clothes, a pair of black slacks and a collared longsleeved gray shirt, and sensible leather loafers. He enjoyed the fresh air and the exercise, lately he felt he wasn't getting enough of it with all the paperwork he had to do.

By the time he reached Mick's he was ravenous, and the smells from the little establishment were driving him insane. When he entered, there was a rather long line, as usual, for Mick's had wonderful soups and sandwiches, but Mick spotted him and waved him over, he knew Severus rarely took time off to eat, and they were patients of his besides.

"Hiya, Sev. The usual?"

Severus nodded. "Yes, you know what I like by now, Mick. How are your children doing?"

"Fine, my youngest, Melina, starts school in the fall, so you'll be seeing her for her checkup. She's five. My other two boys are off at Hogwarts, third and second years," he said proudly, then turned to call back to the cook, who was also his wife, "Mabel, a hot pastrami on rye with mustard and a cup of French onion."

"Coming right up, luv!" his wife yelled back. "Is that for Healer Sev?"

"It sure is, doll," laughed Mick. "Sev, have a seat, if you can find one, and we'll bring it out to you."

Severus turned to see where a table was empty, the place was filled with wizards and witches on lunch breaks from their work and some mothers with small children. He picked his way over to a recently vacated table, near a window, when he heard a voice cry from behind him, "Merlin, Healer Snape, is that you? I didn't know you ate here too."

He bit back a groan and the urge to comment sarcastically, _"Why yes, I do eat here, because I can't live off the air."_ It never ceased to amaze him at the way his patients regarded him as something other than human simply because he was a physician. They all seemed to think he lived at his office, subsisted on Nutrient Potions, and his outfit of choice was a white physician's robe. One patient he had encountered in Diagon Alley declared that she nearly didn't recognize him in regular clothes, and acted surprised that he was actually _wearing_ them. He turned around to see who had called him, and saw one of his younger patients, Tommy Ash, whom he'd patched up on more than one occasion after a Quidditch match.

"Hello, Tom. How's the shoulder?" That had been the latest injury Severus had healed on him, a torn rotator cuff.

"Hi, Healer Snape. The shoulder's great. My coach says I'll be able to play Chaser again on the match this Saturday," the ten-year-old gushed, leaving a handful of Knuts on the table for a tip. "I did all those exercises you told me, and they hurt like blazes, but I can grab the Quaffle just as good now as I used to, so I guess they were worth it."

Severus nodded. "Yes, physical therapy is never pleasant, I'm afraid, but that numbing salve I prescribed should have helped."

"I used it all, Healer, and thanks for that too!" His head swivelled around as he heard his name being called. "Gotta run, my mum's calling. Maybe I'll see you at the match on Saturday, it's at 6." Then he turned to go, waving at Severus, who bid him goodbye and told him to watch his flying.

Severus sat down at the table he had originally picked. Tom always asked him to come see a Quidditch match, though Severus never had time, and he disliked the sport, since too many players got hurt playing it. No sooner had he sat down than his food appeared upon the table, and he fell upon it like a ravenous wolf.

Once he had finished an excellent lunch, and had paid for it, including a generous tip, he headed back to his office. Just as he was about to enter, the magic mirror he always carried in a pocket began to hum loudly. He withdrew it from his pocket.

"Healer Snape here."

The mirror flickered and Vi's face appeared in it. "Hello, Sev. Hope I'm not interrupting you in the middle of your patients."

"No, I had just stepped out for lunch, Vi. What's the matter? Is someone sick? Harry? Or Lily?"

"No, everyone's healthy here. Except . . .I want Lily to go out more. It's been four months since James has passed and all she's done is mope about here. It's not good for her, Sev, she's turning herself into a brooding crotchety old lady and she's not even thirty yet. She's started to become very crabby, she spends half her time reading these books by some guy named Lockhart, apparently he has a whole series of books that say you can contact somebody from beyond the grave and all she's done for three months is read them and try out the spells in them. I think it's utter nonsense, and a waste of time and money, but there's no sense in talking to her. You know how stubborn she can be, Sev."

"Yes, I know," Severus said, entering the office by the physician's entrance, which was hidden from the main entrance by a tall potted fir tree and a Concealment Charm. "Vi, is the name of the author _Gilderoy_ Lockhart, by any chance?" asked the Healer with a barely disguised sneer.

"Why, yes, it is. You've heard of him, then?"

"Heard of him, you could say that. I treated him at St. Mungos for a psychiatric disorder-he has delusions of grandeur, thinks he's a prophet, or Merlin reborn, he's a pathological liar and a fraud, Vi. The man's been in Azkaban twice for running a scam on grieving widows and orphans using the same tactics he wrote in his so-called "instruction manual". I can't believe Lily would fall for that slick conman's patter."

"Well, I'm afraid she has, and nothing Hal or I say makes a bit of difference." Vi sighed. "There are times I wish she were ten again, so I could take all those stupid books away from her and burn them in the incinerator. But that's not an option any longer, so I figured if anyone could talk some sense into her, it would be you, Sev. You were always the logical one of her friends and the only one who could outstubborn her."

Severus smiled. "I guess I'll take that as a compliment, Vi."

"You do that, hon. It was meant as one," Mrs. Evans chuckled. Then she added, "I won't keep you too much longer, I know you must be busy. Perhaps you might drop by this evening, if you aren't exhausted, and maybe you could take her out to dinner? She could use a change of scenery, and someone else to talk with besides us old folks and Harry, y'know?"

"I was planning on visiting this weekend anyway, Vi. I'll see how I feel after my office hours, all right? If I can't come tonight, I'll be there tomorrow night, and I'll see if I can convince Lily to quit reading Lockhart's trash." Severus snorted. "He claims all his sources are accurate, but over half of them are fake and his books are more fiction than fact. Well, I need to get back to my paperwork before it breeds all over my desk, Vi. Goodbye."

"Bye, Sev. Hope to see you soon!" she blew him a kiss before the mirror connection went dark.

Sighing, Severus tucked the mirror back in his pocket and made his way back to his office to finish up his charts. _Oh, Lily, what were you thinking, getting snared in Lockhart's web? The man lives to cheat people out of money and he does it with a brilliant smile and a honeyed tongue. He's a born con artist, or I'm no Master Healer._

Then he settled down to his paperwork, resolved to finish it all so he didn't have to do anymore of it tomorrow. And hopefully he wouldn't be so tired that he couldn't go and see Lily and set her straight about Lockhart and take her out to dinner. She wasn't the only one who never went out in four months, the Healer thought wearily.

* * * * * *

He managed to finish his paperwork and though he was feeling quite tired, Severus decided to go over to visit Lily anyway. The sooner he spoke with her about that fraud Lockhart, the sooner she could put away such foolish notions and work on letting James rest in peace, as he undoubtedly was doing. Severus had been raised Roman catholic by Eileen, and firmly believed in life after death and the Second Coming, but he flatly refused to subscribe to Lockhart's false assertion that you could contact the dead through half-baked spells using thread, candles, and wishes. It was ridiculous.

Severus went home to his apartment and took a quick shower, changed, and then Apparated to the Evans' home on Spinner's End. He had just lifted his hand to knock when he heard the sound of a woman's voice raised in anger and a child's high-pitched whine.

"I _said_ no, Harry, you've hardly touched your dinner, now stop it!" Lily reprimanded.

"Mummy! Want ice cream!" wailed Harry.

"No, young man. First dinner, _then_ dessert." Lily ordered.

That statement was followed by a wail, then a yelp from Lily. "Ow! Harry James Severus, you do NOT bite me!"

A second later there came the sound of a hand smacking a certain naughty toddler's behind, followed by Harry crying.

Severus knocked sharply, and Vi came to the door and opened it. "Hi, Sev. I'm so glad you could make it. I'm afraid my grandson is having one of his moods today, he's cranky and giving Lily a hard time about supper tonight."

"Hello, Vi." Severus greeted, hugging the other woman. "So I could hear. Perhaps I could help?"

"Be my guest, Sev. I try not to interfere too much when Lily disciplines him, since he's her son and that's her job, but I hate to see him cry."

Severus followed the sound of a child sobbing into the kitchen, where Lily had placed her son in time out for five minutes on a small stool facing a corner near the fridge. She was standing behind the child, scowling angrily while Harry bawled and squirmed, trying to get off the stool.

"Harry, stay still! You know my rule for time out, little boy."

"No-o-o-! No want to! Harry get OFF!" He made as if to get off the hated stool, but Lily reached out and grabbed him firmly.

"This is what happens to bad little boys who bite their mothers."

"Looks like somebody's in trouble, from the sound of it," Severus remarked as he entered the kitchen.

"Sev!" Lily spun around to greet her best friend, and Harry quickly took advantage of his mother's distraction to try and make a break for it, scrambling off the stool and running for the kitchen entrance.

"Harry, get back here! You're not finished with time out!" Lily cried, and made an attempt to stop Harry, but the little boy was very quick and slipped by her.

Only to run smack into Severus, who had moved to block the kitchen entrance.

Harry gasped, then looked up at the Healer, who wore a stern frown instead of the smile he normally wore when he saw the dark-haired imp, and cried, "Sevvy, move! Harry go OUT!"

"I don't think so, mister." Severus said, and he reached down to pick up the little boy. "Looks like someone's being a bad little boy and not listening to his mother."

Harry's face turned beet red and he threw himself on the ground before Severus could lift him, kicking and screaming, "HARRY NOT BAD! SEVVY BAD! LET HARRY GO OUT! NOW!"

Severus just stood there, looking at Lily, who was fast reaching the end of her patience with her son.

"Harry, stop it this instant, or else so help me, I'll spank you." She shook her head. "I just don't know what gets into him lately. He's been behaving like a spoiled brat all day, Sev."

Harry continued to shriek and kick, furious that he couldn't escape.

"Perhaps he needs a nap," suggested Severus. "And he's testing you as well, Lil." He knelt down next to the howling toddler and said, in a quiet but stern tone, "Harry Potter, look at me."

Harry lifted his face from the floor, it was red and streaked with tears, and stared up at the man who usually gave him sweets and read to him, but who was now looking very disappointed and angry, and whimpered, "Sevvy mad?"

"I am, young man. Why are you throwing tantrums and not listening to your mother?"

"'Cause!" the little boy said, with a defiant sniff.

"That's not a good enough answer. I think you need a nap, wouldn't you say, Lily?" He looked over at Lily, who nodded firmly.

"After he goes back in time out, Sev. He had two more minutes before he tried to pull this tantrum."

At those dreaded words, Harry screeched, "NO! NO! NO TIME OUT!"

Then he threw himself on the floor again, kicking and pounding the linoleum with his little hands balled into fists, in a tantrum worthy of Attila the Hun.

Severus promptly scooped the angry child up, ignoring the kid's attempts to wriggle free, and marched him back over to the stool and set him on it. Harry immediately fought to escape, but Severus merely put both hands on the boy's shoulders and held him firmly in place.

"Harry James Severus Potter, be still!" ordered the Master Healer in a tone that his father used to use on him, low and dangerous.

Harry, who had been kicking and squirming, froze. He had never heard that particular tone from any adult before, and it startled and scared him a little. Something warned him not to test the Master Healer when he used that tone, and he cried and whimpered, but he did not try and get up again.

"Mean, Sevvy! Go 'way!"

"Are you going to stay put, Mr. Potter?"

"Yes," came the soft whimper.

Severus removed his hands and stepped back, though he was ready to catch Harry if he tried to get off the stool again. Lily came up to stand beside him.

"Harry, why are you in time out?" she asked.

There was a muted sniff from the corner. Then her son answered, "Cause I was bad."

"What did you do?" Lily demanded, wanting her child to understand why he was being punished.

"I bited you, Mummy."

"You did, and that was very bad, you hurt me, and I am very disappointed in you. That's why you got a smack and time out, because you were very naughty. You don't bite, Harry. Only animals bite, not little boys. Teeth are for eating, not biting, do you understand?"

"Yes," came a very subdued answer.

"Okay, you can get up, your two minutes is up." Lily told him, and he bolted up from the stool like it was on fire.

Tears streaked his little face and he threw himself at Lily. "Sorry, Mummy! Harry sorry!"

Lily picked him up and held him. "Yes, and so you should be. But I forgive you for biting me. Now hush, sweetie, hush." She rocked him until he had stopped crying. "I love you, Harry," she whispered.

"Harry loves Mummy." He murmured. Then he lifted his face from his mother's shoulder and looked at Severus. "Sevvy mean!"

Severus bit his lip to keep from laughing at the child's indignant expression. "Why? Because I put you in time out?"

"Uh huh. No want go there, Sevvy," said Harry, sticking his lower lip out in a pout.

"But you were bad and that's what happens when you're bad, right?"

Harry nodded reluctantly. Yes, that was what happened when he was bad. He was surprised that Severus knew that, however. Severus had never punished him before this.

"Well, I put you there because you were being naughty, Harry."

"Don' like it there!"

"It wouldn't be much of a punishment if you liked it, scamp." Severus pointed out.

The little boy turned his head away then, unwilling to admit that Severus was right, instead muttering, "Sevvy bad! Mean! Go 'way!"

"Oh, Harry!" sighed Lily. "You are a little devil sometimes. And now you're going to sleep. You missed your nap today and now you're cranky and overtired. Excuse me, Sev. I need to put him down for the night." She headed for the bedroom she shared with Harry, ignoring his faint protests.

Lily was back in ten minutes, having tucked Harry in his crib and sung him to sleep. She rubbed her eyes and smiled at her oldest friend. "I'm sorry you had to see that, Sev. Lately all he does is throw tantrums, the little brat."

"Lily, that's normal. Don't apologize, all children throw fits like that sometimes. I'm not shocked, Harry's a normal toddler, he supposed to misbehave and get in trouble. I see it all the time in my office, at least one child I examine a day pitches a tantrum, either with me or one of my medi-witches or their parent."

Lily shuddered. "Oh, Merlin help me! I can just see Harry doing that and then I'd probably die of embarrassment."

"No, you wouldn't. You're stronger than that, Lil." Severus disagreed. "This is a stage, he'll grow out of it, so long as you deal with it the right way."

"How?"

"With patience and firmness. Just the way you did tonight. Most children throw tantrums for attention, but if they see it doesn't get results, they'll stop. Eventually."

"That's what Mum said." She gazed at the Master Healer curiously. "How do you know that?"

Severus shrugged. "I read a lot. I subscribe to a magazine called _Magical Children Today_, it's a parenting magazine. I keep a copy in my office waiting room and one day I was bored waiting for some test results to come in from the hospital lab, and I read it. It has all kinds of tips on dealing with misbehaving children."

"Maybe I ought to subscribe to it, because I need all the help I can get now that James is . . .gone," Lily admitted, and brushed a tear from her eye irritably. "Although I don't know how much help he'd have been in the discipline department. He used to let Harry sprinkle powder all over the changing table while James was putting a nappy on him. And when I yelled at him, all he said was, "It looked like he was having fun, and I couldn't bear to tell him no."

"That sounds like James, all right. But if he'd had to, I'd wager he could've disciplined Harry. James wouldn't have liked it, but I think he would've done it, if he had to."

"Maybe. But I'd have been the bad one, most times," Lily said, laughing a little. "Looks like you're persona non grata with my scamp right now, Sev."

"It would seem so," said the Master Healer with a rueful smile. "Hopefully he'll have forgiven me after he wakes up."

"He will. Harry doesn't hold grudges, Sev." Lily reassured him. "He's like his father, that way. Would you like something to drink?"

"Yes, tea if you have it, please," he replied, going to sit down at the table. He was pondering how best to go about bringing up the subject of Lockhart and his phony promises when he caught sight of the book on the table, next to a half-eaten little plate of food.

It bore a glossy blue cover with a smiling blond-haired wizard on it, dressed in mystical robes and surrounded by clouds. Gilderoy was quite handsome, one reason why women tended to fall for his blandishments, Severus thought derisively. The title of the book was _From Mystic to Medium-My Journey into the Realm Beyond._ Snape rolled his eyes. _Lord have mercy! The farthest he's ever traveled is Azkaban, and even they didn't want him there! If he's a genuine medium, I'll crucify myself._

He flipped through the book, sneering at all the parlor tricks Lockhart recommended, such as a dark room, candles, a piece of the deceased's clothing or a picture, etc. Just the kind of things unscrupulous wizards and witches had used to trick Muggles way back when, and some still did now. Severus pushed the book away in distaste, then said, "Who on earth is reading this, Lily?"

"I am, Sev. Why?" asked Lily, coming over with two steaming cups of tea. She quickly vanished the remains of Harry's dinner with her wand.

"Because it's absolute rot. Surely you don't believe in all that stuff he tells you, Lil? The man's a pathological liar and a fraud."

"Severus, how can you say that?" Lily objected. "He's an accredited medium, he's got the sources to prove it."

"Really? Where?" Severus picked up the book and flipped to the end. "All of these sources are fake, Lily. They don't exist. There's never been a College of Mediums in Yorkshire. And his number one contact, Madam Esmerelda, has been dead for ten years."

"You can't be serious!"

"I am. Lily, I treated Lockhart for delusions and depression a year ago at St. Mungos, before he was arrested on charges of fraud and impersonating deceased people for money. He spent six months in Azkaban, Lil. You can't take anything he says as the truth."

"Severus, he says the charges were trumped up, by people that hated him or were jealous of his success. Sev, I've tried a few of the spells in the book," Lily began.

"Did they work? No."

"Well, not at first. But professor Lockhart said that might be the case, so I just keep trying. Once I could swear I felt James's hand on my shoulder."

"Lily, you want to bring James back so badly that you're grasping at straws."

"I'm not an idiot, Severus Snape!" she flared, her temper sparking. "Just because you, with your logical Slytherin analytical mind don't believe in contacting the Other Side-"

"I believe in life after death, Lily!" snapped Severus, angry that she didn't believe him. "I just don't believe in bloody Gilderoy Lockhart! He's a scam artist, damn it, out to rip you off and play on your desperate need to contact the one you lost just one more time. His kind are a dime a dozen, Lil, now why won't you see that?"

"Why don't you mind your own business, Severus? There's no harm in me doing the rituals and speaking with James's spirit."

"And have you spoken to him yet, Lily?" Severus demanded sharply. "Since you started doing the 'rituals'," his lip curled derisively. "Has James come to you even once?"

"No, but . . . it takes practice to contact a spirit . . ."

"Practice, ha! Lily, you know how to cast spells, you're not some green first year, by Merlin's blessed staff! Either you did the ritual right and it works, or it's flawed and there's no way it'll ever work. And seeing as it's Lockhart, I _know_ the ritual is flawed, because he is a second-rate conjurer whose only talent is taking advantage of grieving people like you. He's a scumbag bastard, Lil, and he's playing you and everyone else who bought this piece of garbage for fools."

"You're wrong! I _will_ contact James, you're just saying that because you don't want me to speak with him."

"Lily, don't be ridiculous. If there really was a way you could speak to James, a legitimate way, I'd be helping you do it. But there isn't. James is gone, Lily. Gone to heaven with the angels, and probably driving them crazy up there." Severus said, his tone gentling. "You've got to let him go, Lil."

"No," she shook her head frantically. "I _can't_! I can't _do_ that!"

"Why not, for the love of Merlin?"

"Because . . .then what will I have left?" she whispered brokenly.

He reached out and grasped her hands across the tabletop. "You have Harry, Lily. He's your legacy and James's. And your parents. And me. You'll always have me, Lily." He stared earnestly into her emerald eyes, which were filled with tears, trying his hardest to convey all the sincerity and love inside of him.

She put her other hand to her mouth, sniffling. "Merlin, but I don't deserve you, Sev."

"_Never_ say that, Lily Ann Potter!" he rebuked sharply. "You _do_ deserve me, dammit! Matter of fact, you deserve a hell of a lot better than me." He sighed. "Now would you please trust me and get rid of that damn book? I would never lie to you, don't you know that?"

There was a hurt tone in his voice that she had never heard before, and it only served to make her feel more wretched and she began to sob. "I do trust you, Sev. I do, but I just wanted . . .to say goodbye . . .I never got to say goodbye . . ."

"Ah, damn it!" Severus swore, cursing Lockhart to the deepest circle of hell. "I know, flower. I know. Come here. Don't cry, please." He gently pulled her into his arms and held her on his lap. "You know I can't stand it when you cry," he whispered into her ear, as he ran his fingers through her lush fiery hair over and over. "You know, angels are everywhere, and they carry the words of mortals to God and to spirits up in heaven, Lil. So I'm sure that James heard you wish him goodbye, even if he can't come down and tell you that. You don't need a fake medium and a phony ritual to send a message, little flower. Just whisper it in your heart and James will hear."

"B-but h-how w-will I know?"

"You'll know. Like I knew when I told my mother thank you the day I graduated medical school. Because she was the one who convinced me to be a Healer rather than an Auror. And it was the best decision I ever made. I wished like hell she was there to see it, but she wasn't, and so I thanked her instead and said I wished she were here. And afterwards I felt . . .at peace and I knew that somehow she had heard me." He continued to run his hands through her hair.

It was something he had always wanted to do, he loved playing with a woman's hair, it was, for him, very sensual and arousing. He exhaled and withdrew his fingers reluctantly from the fiery strands, moving his hand over her back and rubbing gently, the way he used to do to Harry to calm him down after giving him a needle.

Lily found the motion of his hand against her back very soothing and she soon stopped crying and sat up. Severus handed her a handkerchief before she could wipe her nose on her sleeve. "Merlin, but I'm such an idiot! I don't know what's wrong with me lately, Sev. I can't seem to think straight."

"You're still grieving, Lil. And Lockhart's a master manipulator, so don't feel too bad over buying into his little scam, I'm sure plenty of others have. I'm sorry I snapped at you, but I couldn't let you go on believing a lie. It was doing you more harm than good."

"You must think I'm a real basket case, huh? And here I was Head Girl alongside you as Head Boy. Professor Flitwick would disown me from Ravenclaw if he knew how stupid I've been."

"He would not. He'd go and challenge that conniver Lockhart to a duel and kick his smarmy arse all the way to Cornwall." Severus said, smiling.

"You're right," Lily said after a moment. "He _would_ do that. He never suffered deceit or fools lightly. Are you certain Lockhart's a fraud, Sev?"

"Yes. I'll swear Healer's Oath if you want, but I'm not mistaken. Lockhart's as phony as a silver Knut." Severus insisted.

"Well, when you put it that way . . ." She leaned over and planted a quick kiss on his mouth.

He blinked. "What was that for?"

"For always being there for me. And for saving me from myself. I really don't know what I'd do without you, Sev."

"Let's hope you never need to find out," he said sincerely, and returned her kiss with one of his own. "Are you hungry, Lil?"

She nodded. "Starving. Why?"

"Because I know of this new steakhouse that just opened up near Diagon Alley called Lazy Joe's. What do you say we go out to eat? Just you and I? Your mother tells me you haven't been out of the house since you moved in."

"She's exaggerating, Sev. I've been out of the house. To shop and play with Harry in the backyard."

"But not alone, just for fun, right?"

"Umm . . .no. I just didn't feel up to it."

"How about now?"

She considered. "Yes. I don't mind going out with you in public, Sev. Because when I'm with you the newshounds and old biddies keep their distance."

"Oh? Am I your guard dog then, madam?" he said, pretending to be insulted. "Maybe you ought to call Sirius."

"No, Sirius can't do your Snape glare, Severus," Lily teased. "He's much too friendly. People all ask to pet him."

Severus laughed, because what Lily said was true. Sirius in his Animagus form was a big black mutt and he acted like an overgrown puppy. "Too right. So, do we have a date, Mrs. Potter?"

"We do, Mr. Snape. Just let me wash my face and put on something decent and then we can go. Oh, and let my mum know so she can watch Harry. I hope this restaurant has decent food."

"It does. Matthew went there and raved about it to me," Severus told her, smiling.

"Oh, good. Matthew knows decent food, he's from New York originally." Lily said, then she slipped off the Healer's lap and tiptoed into her bedroom to put on something that wasn't old and worn and wash away the traces of tears and anguish on her face. For once she was going to take her mother's advice and stop hiding herself away and go out and enjoy herself. James would have been proud, he wouldn't have wanted her to stop living simply because he was gone, she told herself firmly.

She bowed her head and thought fervently, _Goodbye, James. I never got to say it, but I'm saying it now. And I hope some angel is listening, and tells you this. I loved you, wild man. You were like lightning in a bottle and I knew I couldn't hold you forever, but we had a great time, didn't we? But now . . .now it's time to say goodbye. I'll miss you, babe. Hope you don't scandalize the angels too much, Potter._

She took a deep breath afterwards and went into the bathroom across the hall to wash her face. As Severus said, she did feel better, more at peace with herself, and ready to go out into the world again. But she was extremely grateful she would be accompanied by Severus Snape, who had been her protector since they were small. James had been the one she could have fun with, but he never inspired the feeling of safety that Sev did, which was odd since Severus was a Healer and James an Auror. But there it was. Lily wasn't about to question it, she already felt cast adrift, and Severus was the anchor that held her fast.

Smiling a little, she went back into her room to dress, humming a tune called "Girls Just Wanna Have Fun" she had heard on the radio the other day while driving to the supermarket.

**A big shout out to everyone who reviewed this, it really means a lot to me!**

Next: Bathtime can be interesting, especially if Severus can be persuaded to sing along with Harry!


	5. Great Balls of Fire

**Great Balls of Fire**

**The title of this chapter is inspired by the famous oldy but goody by Jerry Lewis.**

**Lily goes for an overnight stay at a spa with her mum and leaves Harry with Sev and several unexpected and interesting things occur.**

**A funny fluffy chapter! Enjoy!**

"Are you sure you can watch Harry this Saturday, Sev?" asked Lily, it was a few days after they had gone out to dinner at Lazy Joe's. "My mother surprised me with a visit to a spa and I've invited Alice Longbottom to come too, I haven't seen her in ages, but she's got a son the same age as Harry too."

"Yes, I know. Alice and Neville are my patients, though Neville has more health problems than Harry." Neville had asthma and a mild lactose intolerance. "But you go and enjoy yourself at that spa, Lily. Your mother was right, it'll do you good to get out."

She made a face at him through the magic mirror, which was how they communicated with each other. The mirror was quicker and more efficient than using letters or firecalling, though only those in the medical profession used them on a regular basis, since the making of a Mirror of Communication, as they were called, was very time consuming and expensive, but the Healers needed a device they could rely on to speak and receive messages clearly and quickly, for a delay could mean the difference between life and death.

"The two of you are in cahoots, I swear it. You two worry way too much over me, Severus. I promise I'm not going to commit suttee or anything barbaric like that, so you need to quit fretting before your hair turns gray, okay?"

"Well, _someone_ has to worry about you, Lil." Severus said, a bit defensively. "James made me promise, before he went away on his last mission, that if anything ever happened to him, I would make sure you were looked after. I know he didn't mean financially, either, since he left you plenty of money. He meant take care of you emotionally, and you know I always keep my word."

"James made you promise that?"

"Yes. I was quite surprised, but he said I was the one he trusted to do the job right." Severus said awkwardly. "But he needn't have made me promise that, since I'd have done it anyway, because you're my friend and I really do care about you, Lil."

She smiled, her familiar sweet smile that never failed to make his pulse quicken. "I know you do, Sev. And I care about you too. Which is why I'll put up with your mother hen act."

"I do _not _act like a mother hen, Lily!" he objected.

"No? What would you call it then?"

"Concern," he shot back. Then he changed the subject, not wanting to quarrel over something so ridiculous. "When are you going to this spa?"

"Umm . . .four o'clock tomorrow. Alice got us all a discount, since she works there. I can drop Harry off at your apartment at three, is that good for you?"

Severus nodded. "Perfect. I'll be waiting. Goodbye, Lily, I have patients waiting to be seen. Talk to you later on."

"Bye, Sev."

Then Severus turned the mirror face down, breaking the connection. He carefully tucked it into a pocket of his robes, then went into Exam Room 5 to see an elderly woman complaining of pains in her hip and her back.

* * * * * *

Lily brought Harry over promptly at three o'clock, and the little boy immediately squirmed out of her arms and ran to Severus. "Sevvy, we is here!" he cried, reaching his arms up to be picked up. Clearly, he had forgiven the Healer for punishing him that other evening, and was eager to be cuddled against Severus's shoulder.

"Hello, Harry!" Severus greeted, scooping the little boy up into a hug. "How have you been?"

"Good. Harry missed Sevvy," he declared, then threw his arms about the Master Healer's neck and buried his face in the man's shoulder. He loved the exotic scents and spicy odors that always clung to Snape's clothing from his work in the potions lab.

"Have you been behaving then, scamp?" inquired Sev, with a touch of sternness.

"Uh-huh. Harry been good." He gazed up at Severus, his thumb in his mouth. "Not put in time out, Sevvy."

Severus chuckled at the imp's blatant pleading. "I won't, unless you're naughty, scamp."

"Pwomise?"

"Promise. Now, why don't you go and play with the toys in the toybox, all right?" He set Harry on his feet, and the child scampered over to the toybox that rested against the wall in the den, which was filled with toys the Healer had bought to amuse his charge when he babysat Harry.

Severus turned to Lily, who handed him the usual diaper bag and small satchel filled with Harry's favorite books, including the over-read _Goodnight Moon_, and his favorite stuffed dragon, Smokey. "You'll be staying overnight at this spa, correct?"

"Yes. My mum wanted to make it a real girls' holiday out, so she booked us a room too. It should be fun, I'm really looking forward to this, Sev. It's been a long time since I've gotten pampered and all that." Lily was smiling again, looking very like she used to in school, he thought fondly.

"You deserve it, Lil. Have a good time and don't worry about Harry, he'll be fine."

"I know he will, as long as you're watching him, Sev. I'm so glad you were free tonight, I know that's rare with your schedule, and my dad was going to a rugby game, and I didn't want Harry going along, that sport's much too violent."

Severus nodded, he didn't care much for such sports. "Well, the scamp and I will be spending a nice quiet evening here, reading and watching TV." Like Lily, Severus's apartment was a mixture of Muggle and wizard objects, and since Severus enjoyed watching TV, he had a large color one in his den, surrounded by curiosities given to him by patients and books, since he was a known bookworm, and read voraciously.

"He's already had lunch, and I put him down for a nap after, so he shouldn't be cranky. You know his usual bedtime's seven-thirty, right?" Severus nodded, he was familiar with Lily's schedule. "Well, I'd best be running along then, the spa's an hour or so away, with no traffic, and Mum prefers to drive rather than Apparate, it makes her sick." Lily said. Then she went over to hug and kiss her son goodbye and thank Severus again before Apparating back to her parents' home.

Severus turned to set the diaper bag and the bag of books on the small coffee table, watching Harry playing with a tender regard on his normally serious features. He took care of little children on a daily basis, and he liked them, but there was something about Harry that never failed to tug at his heart. Perhaps it was the basic sweet nature of the child, or the fact that he was Lily's, or the way Harry adored the Healer like no other child ever had. Not even the dreaded vaccinations Severus had to give him ever dampened Harry's affection for his "Sevvy". And only Harry was ever allowed to call Snape "Sevvy".

Severus sat down on the soft gray couch, which was spelled for maximum comfort, he'd also cast Cushioning Charms about the coffee table and any sharp corners of furniture in the apartment, after one time when Harry had tumbled into the edge of the coffee table and cut open his chin on the corner. Severus had been able to mend the laceration in four seconds, but rather than risk a more serious injury next time the child was running about, he cast the Cushioning Charms over the furniture. _An ounce of prevention is worth a pound of cure,_ was an old saying Eileen had often quoted to him while he was growing up, and it was sound advice.

His apartment was not large, it was a single bedroom, combination of den and study, a tiny kitchenette, and a bathroom. It was tastefully decorated, however, the den was done in soothing tones of cream and gray, with a portrait of Eileen above the fireplace and a larger one of the sea shore opposite it, above the couch. The portrait of Eileen was a Muggle one, and so it did not move, but the seascape was a wizard work of art, and you could hear the soft shush of the waves against the shore and the breeze rippling across the dunes and the cries of the occasional gull.

Severus found listening to the portrait very relaxing, he often fell asleep with the sound of the sea in his ears, and slept peacefully, without the nightmares that sometimes plagued him. Harry enjoyed listening to the portrait as well, and Severus had often held him up to it and pointed out the different objects in the portrait, like the ocean, the sand, the birds, a shell, starfish, and a crab.

In the study portion of the room was an old rolltop desk filled with parchments, quills, ink, and sealing wax, various periodicals, and pending cases the Healer brought home to study. He also had cast a space warp spell on the closet in the entrance, making it into a large room where he could prepare potions as needed, and he kept his mini lab well stocked, since you never knew when you might need something.

Harry played contentedly for about twenty minutes with Smokey, the light up colored rubber ball, and some other soft blocks and a mini Quidditch player on a broom that levitated a short distance. "Zoom! Zoom!" he cried, making the dragon fly after the player, growling.

Severus watched him with a rather amused expression, he didn't usually get to see many children play like this, and he enjoyed seeing the innocent child having fun. It was a far cry from his own childhood, he thought darkly, when his father, who was a nasty abusive alcoholic, had tyrannized him and made his life hell. An involuntary shiver crept up the older wizard's spine whenever he recalled those nightmare years with Tobias. He hadn't seen or spoken to the man since Eileen's funeral three years ago, and that was perfectly fine with him. He couldn't stand his father, not after so many years of being beaten and sneered at by the man, and it would be a cold day in hell before Severus ever darkened Tobias's doorstep now that Eileen was dead.

Even after two years of therapy by one of the top Mind-Healers at St. Mungos, Severus still experienced dreadful nightmares and flashbacks, though no one outside of his therapist ever knew it. Severus had learned long before how to hide the signs of abuse and emotional turmoil, and he still occasionally took Dreamless Sleep, so he was not a basket case. He silently thanked Merlin that Harry would never know such terror and pain, it was better to grow up with no father than with the one Severus had.

It was growing a little chilly in the room, so Severus lit the fire with a wave of his hand, he was astoundingly good at wandless non-verbal magic, which had delighted Albus Dumbledore, who had given him advanced lessons in the discipline. Severus suspected one of the reasons he was so good at it had been because Tobias had forbidden him to do magic around his home, even the accidental kind. Tobias was a Muggle and he disliked seeing his son use magic, or even speak about it around him. It made Severus wonder sometimes why the hell the former Marine sergeant had ever married Eileen Prince, who had been a brilliant witch and Potions Mistress. Eileen had allowed him to practice sometimes, when Tobias had been out or sleeping off the latest binge, supervising him closely, however, as per Ministry regulations. Severus suspected his aptitude at such magic came from the fear that he would get beaten if Tobias saw him casting spells, so he had internalized his need to work magic, reasoning that if the man didn't see him with a wand, he would never know magic was being used around him.

Either way, it was a useful skill to have as a physician, since he could summon potions and other items while examining a patient without needing to pause and use a wand to cast a Summoning Charm, and could in effect cast two spells simultaneously. He did this now, using his wand to summon a book from the bookshelf and a gesture to retrieve an ice-cold bottle of water from the fridge. He had just turned to Harry to ask whether he would like a drink too, Lily had given him a jug of children's apple juice (it was less concentrated than the adult kind), when his fire flared and Sirius's face appeared in it.

"Hello, Sev, are you there? Oh, there you are!" he cried upon catching sight of Severus sitting on the couch.

"Hello, Siri. Need a Healer, or are you just calling with the latest gossip from the Auror Department?" asked Severus, rising and coming to stand in front of the fire. Severus had once considered becoming an Auror, and had completed a year of the Academy before changing his mind and dropping out to become a Healer. Even so, he had won an award for the Most Dedicated New Auror Apprentice, and the Academy instructors had been sorry to see him go. Severus still kept in touch with most of them, he was the Healer they called when casualties occurred, and of course he was best friends with two of their top members.

"I need a doctor, Sev, but not your kind. I need a love doctor, Betsy just dumped me. Claimed I wasn't paying her enough attention or something." Sirius sighed, though he didn't seem all that upset. Then again, he had scores of women throwing themselves at him, so he could take his pick. If there was one thing Sirius did not lack for, it was female companionship, Severus thought with a tinge of envy.

"Too bad. Need a handkerchief, Padfoot?"

"What, you think I'm gonna cry over _her_? Not in a million years, Sev old boy. She was on my arse too much, way too demanding for my taste. I'm kinda relieved it's over. Maybe I'll call up Sandra Snodgrass or Melinda Robinson, they seem like nice girls, willing to give a guy some space to go out with his mates instead of being a manacle. Speaking of going out, you ready to go to the Hornets vs. Dragons match for Matthew's birthday this afternoon? Should be a great game, they've got ace Seekers and killer Beaters too."

Severus did a doubletake. "The Quidditch game is _this_ Saturday? Blast and damn, I thought it was next weekend."

"Nope. Saturday, December 13th. Why? You forget or something?"

"No . . .but I thought . . .I'm, uh, babysitting Harry, Padfoot. Lily and her mother and Alice Longbottom all went to some spa overnight and I told her I could watch Harry. I must have looked at my schedule wrong, because I thought the Quidditch game was next weekend." Severus shook his head in disgust. "Now what do I do?"

"Just bring him along with you, Sev. It's no big deal, kids under three are free, he can sit on your lap or ours during the game. He'll love it, we'll have a blast. Besides, you paid good money for your ticket, and you can't miss Matthew's birthday game, since he _is_ your partner."

"You're right. I can't believe I was so stupid . . .Very well, I'll meet you in front of the ticket counter at the pitch at five. Thanks for reminding me, Sirius."

"No problem, buddy. I'll see you and Harry there. Bye!"

An instant later, Sirius's head vanished, and Severus turned to Harry and said, "Hey, scamp, how would you like to go to a real Quidditch game, huh?"

Harry looked up from his toys and said, "Where, Sevvy?"

"At Gryphon Field, an hour from now," he said, glancing at his watch. "You can keep playing till then. Are you hungry? Do you want a snack or some juice?"

"Yes, want ginger 'naps an' juice, Sevvy."

Severus rose and rummaged through the bag Lily had packed, finding the small spelled cooler with Harry's child-proof plastic cup with dragons on it and the box of ginger snaps. There were small cheddar crackers shaped like mythical animals as well as chewy fruit snacks.

The Healer summoned a plate and a napkin and set two cookies on the plate and poured the child a cup of apple juice, putting it on the table. Then he told Harry to get his little chair, which was next to the toy box, and come and sit down for his snack.

Harry picked up the lightweight green chair and brought it to the table, which was just the right height for a small child, and set it down. He climbed up on it and looked at Severus. "Sevvy have 'nack too?"

"Okay." Severus agreed, smiling, then summoned some celery sticks and peanut butter, for he tried to eat healthy food as much as possible, though he did crave sweets but rarely admitted it. He spread peanut butter on a stick of celery and placed it next to the ginger snaps on Harry's plate. "Here, scamp. Try this, it's celery and peanut butter." He usually gave the child a new thing to eat whenever he stayed over, trying out different vegetables and fruits.

Harry eyed the green stalk dubiously. "Why?"

"Because it's good for you. Eat it."

"You eat first!"

So Severus ate one of his celery sticks, and then he pointed to Harry. "Mmm. Now it's your turn."

The little boy picked up the celery and sniffed it. It smelled pretty good, and he liked peanut butter. He bit into it and crunched slowly. It tasted good, especially the ooey-gooey peanut butter. "Yum! Me like this." He ate the entire stick then asked for more.

Severus gave him another, pleased the boy liked something healthy as well as sweets.

By the time he was done with his snack, Harry's face and hands were covered in peanut butter, but he was happily licking it off his fingers.

"You're a mess, imp. Let's get you cleaned up and changed."

The Healer summoned a damp cloth and wiped the toddler's hands and face clean, then picked him up and set him down on the small changing mat that came with the diaper bag. Harry fussed a little, he hated being still, but Severus was used to that, and made short work of removing the child's dirty clothes and nappy.

Harry wriggled and Snape reprimanded him softly, "Stay still, young man. You need this Rash Away on your bottom whether you like it or not. Now quit squirming." He carefully applied the salve to the small bottom, Harry had sensitive skin and was subject to rashes, but Severus's magic salve would clear up the problem in fifteen minutes. "You're getting a bath after the game, scamp. There! That ought to make you feel better." He dressed Harry in another outfit, this one was a red pant set with a Snitch on it and the words _Catch It To Win!_

Then he allowed Harry to play while he cleaned up and by the time he glanced at his watch again it was time to meet Sirius and Matthew at Gryphon Field.

* * * * * * *

"Harry, can you say go Dragons?" asked Matthew, who had the excited toddler perched on his shoulders, so he could see the players better as they swooped and dove after the Quaffle and the Snitch. The sandy-haired Healer was twenty-two, his birthday had actually been yesterday. "I was born two weeks early, I should've been a Christmas baby," he had told Severus once, laughing. The Dorcet Dragons were his favorite Quidditch team, which was why Severus had bought tickets to their premier game this season as his gift to his partner.

"Go Dwagons!" screeched the raven-haired imp, pounding on the top of Matthew's head with one small fist.

Matthew winced. "Take it easy, little buddy! I don't need you to pound any sense into my head just yet."

Sirius and Severus chuckled at the other's wit, then focused back on the game. The Dragons were ahead of the Hornets by five points, not such a great lead in Quidditch, but so far neither team's Seeker had caught the Snitch.

Harry was so excited about seeing the game that he couldn't sit still on Severus's lap. He shifted from the Master Healer to his Uncle Sirius and then to his Uncle Matt, hollering and clapping his little hands anytime anyone scored. Sirius had bought him a little green flag with a golden dragon it to wave and Matthew bought him a raspberry icy, a hot dog, and a pumpkin juice, with the end result that he was now wired and couldn't sit still for more than a minute.

Severus just rolled his eyes and groaned. "Good one, Morgan. He's so hyper right now, he couldn't sit still if his life depended on it." He prayed the sugar effect would wear off once he brought Harry home, so he could give the child a bath and put him to bed at a normal hour.

Harry was in heaven though. For the first time in his life, he was in a place where he could scream on top of his lungs and not get yelled at or told to use a quiet voice. And he got to eat delicious raspberry ice and drink pumpkin juice too, and wave the cool green flag at the players as they flew by.

Then the Chaser for the Dragons missed the Quaffle and a huge groan went up from the grandstand from the throats of hundreds of fans.

"Ah, blast it!" Matthew cried.

"Bloody hell!" Sirius yelled. "What d'you call that, Andrews?"

A second later, a shrill little voice cried, "Bloody hell!"

"Oh, wonderful. Now you've taught him to swear, Sirius," Severus groaned. "That's all we need. Lily is going to kill me." He turned to Harry and said sternly, "Harry James Severus, you do not use those words, understand?"

Harry nodded. "Why?"

"Because they're bad. Now don't repeat them, understand?"

"Uh huh." Then his attention was caught by a sudden flash of gold off to the right and he turned to stare at it. It was a small winged ball. "Uncle Matt, 'nitch!" he yelled, pointing. "Look! Look! Saw 'nitch!"

But his cries were drowned out by the roar of anger as one of the Hornets smacked a Chaser with a bat, a gross foul, and the referee called a penalty. By then the winged globe was gone and when Matthew turned to look where Harry was pointing, he saw nothing and thought the child had imagined it.

"Calm down, kid. The Snitch'll be caught soon, by Evan Marcus, I hope." Matthew raised his voice in a deafening shout. "Catch that Snitch, Marcus! Go Dragons! Smear those Hornets across the sky!"

Severus winced, for his enthusiastic partner was practically bellowing in his ear. "I'm glad you're enjoying your birthday present, Matthew. But must you scream so loud?"

"Sorry, Sev. Forgot your ear was there," his partner apologized with a sheepish grin.

"Catch the 'nitch!" echoed Harry, waving his pennant wildly.

Severus, who had remarkably good eyesight, saw the winged ball just off to the side of a goal post and cried, "Marcus, to the left of the goal! Open your eyes, Seeker!"

Then the Seeker, who was wearing emerald and gold silks, turned his head and caught sight of the elusive globe and dove for it.

The crowd screamed and cheered or cried out in fury, depending on what team you were rooting for, but Marcus was like a meteor and focused singlemindedly on catching the Snitch. The little gold ball fluttered madly, but Marcus pursued it and snatched it out of mid-air, holding his hand aloft with a grin of triumph.

"He caught it! Yeah, Marcus!" Matthew whooped, punching a fist in the air and almost dislodging Harry.

"Matthew, for Godsake!" reproved Severus, grabbing Harry off his friend's shoulders. "You okay, scamp?"

Harry was smirking and waving the banner, nearly poking poor Snape in the eye. "Catch the 'nitch, Sevvy! He caughted it."

"He _caught_ it," Severus corrected automatically.

"Me know that! He caughted it." Harry repeated stubbornly.

Severus just groaned and resolved to work with the child on the finer points of correct speech some other time, when Harry wasn't distracted by the mob of screaming fans about him, two of which were his uncles.

* * * * * *

Matthew and Sirius decided to accompany Sev back to his apartment for a little post-game celebration, since Severus kept a well-stocked pantry, though Sirius would bring the alcohol, since Severus didn't drink. With his father's legacy, he didn't dare, and he had no alcohol in his home.

So Sirius brought a six-pack of Mystic Mack's home-brewed ale and Matthew rummaged about in Severus's pantry and found some crisps and pretzels and mustard and the two commenced drinking and eating and rehashing the finer points of the match while Severus attempted to get Harry a bath and put down for the night.

Unfortunately, Harry had seemed to get a second wind once they got home, and showed no signs of growing tired. Severus hoped the warm bath would relax the child and make him sleepy, for an overtired Harry was a cranky Harry and he wanted no tantrums to deal with tonight.

He ran the bath water, making sure it was quite warm, but not too hot. Then he added some lavender bubble bath, because the smell of lavender was calming and soothing. He quickly added some bath toys, like a rubber sea serpent, a pirate ship, a fish, and a rubber duck.

"Come on, scamp. Bath time."

"Yay! Bath time!" Harry yelled, and tried to rip off his shirt, but succeeded in getting it stuck halfway over his head instead.

Severus used a gesture to remove Harry's clothes, checked his nappy before removing it, then picked up the child and placed him inside the bath.

Harry giggled and splashed, delighting in the warm water and bubbles. Severus quickly washed the imp's hair and scrubbed him, getting soaked in the process. "Merlin, you little imp! What do you think this is, a splash fest?"

"Splash! Like a fish!" giggled Harry, and he took the fish and splashed it down, creating humongous waves in the bathtub. "Sevvy play too!"

Severus just shook his head. "No, you play, Harry. I'm too tired."

The little boy stuck his lower lip out. It was boring playing alone. "Sevvy no play?" he said in injured tones. Then he got a better idea. Sometimes when Lily gave him a bath she sang to him, silly and funny songs, learned from the Muggle radio usually. "Sevvy sing! Sing wif Harry!"

Severus blanched. "What? Oh no! I don't sing." _Not where anyone can hear me, that is, _he added to himself.

"Yes!" Harry insisted. "Sing great balls of fwyre!"

"Say _what_? Great balls of fire?"

"Yes! Great balls of fwyre!" Harry crowed, then sang, "Goodness, gracious, great balls of fwyre!" It was one of his favorites and he knew almost all the words to it. He began to sing the old tune by Jerry Lewis in a childish treble. "You shake my nerves and rattle my brain . . .love drives a man in-SANE . . .oh what a thrill...goodness gracious great balls of fwyre!"

Severus remained with his mouth open. How on earth did Harry know _that_ old song? _Lily, it has to be Lily, she loves all the old Muggle songs and used to make me sing along with them on the radio. _

Harry stopped singing and whined, "Sevvy sing! Pease! Sevvy sing wif Harry! Pease?" And he gave Severus his most potent green-eyed puppy-dog stare, the one that never failed to make the Master Healer feel all guilty and melt his resolve to a puddle of mush.

_Oh, please no! Not THAT look! You know I can't resist that one, boy!_ Severus groaned. "Harry, I'm not much of a singer . . ."

"Harry help! Pease, Sevvy? Sing!"

The emerald eyes were large and liquid and . . .dear sweet Merlin's ghost, was that a tear? No, the kid better not start crying, Severus thought frantically, and gave in.

"Okay, Harry. Don't cry. I'll sing. But only for you." _I must be out of my mind. The last time I sang in front of anyone was when I was nine and in Vi's car with Lily in the backseat. _He cleared his throat. Then he began to sing in soft baritone, "You shake my nerves and you rattle my brain . . ."

Harry joined in enthusiastically, until by the time they got to the chorus, both the little boy and the Master Healer were singing lustily.

"Goodness gracious great balls of fire!"

"Great balls of fwyre!" sang Harry, loud enough to be heard in the den. Then he splashed both hands down and created a tidal wave that swamped the pirate ship and the rubber duck.

Out in the den, Sirius and Matthew stared at each other.

"Did you just hear what I heard, Matt?"

"I _think_ so, but . . .no way!"

"Because I could swear I heard Sev **singing**."

"Severus doesn't sing," Matthew disagreed.

"You broke my will, ooh what thrill! C'mon, Harry!" Severus urged, singing the chorus with gusto. "Goodness, gracious . . ."

"Great balls of fwyre!" Harry shrieked.

The two men nearly fell off the couch.

"I don't believe it!"

"Merlin's balls!" Sirius gasped. "I gotta see this!"

The two tiptoed down the hall to the bathroom, where they could hear Harry singing slightly off-key, "Kiss me, baby!"

Sirius transformed into his dog form and nudged open the door, and came in on the last part, howling, "Oooww-iee!"

Severus nearly fell into the tub, he was so startled.

"Having a ball, Sev?" Matthew teased, laughing, unable to resist.

"Uh . . .It's . . .not what it looks like, Matt. . ." stammered the Healer, feeling himself turn scarlet. "Harry wanted to sing . . .so I was, uh, humoring him . . ."

Matthew just laughed harder. "Sounds like you were having a good ol' time, buddy. Right, Padfoot?"

Sirius barked, then came in and wagged his tail.

"Padfoot!" Harry shrilled. "Play!" He made as if to scramble out of the tub.

"Harry!" Severus cried, just managing to grab the slippery boy before he climbed out of the tub and fell on the tile. "Where d'you think you're going, little boy?"

"Play wif Padfoot, Sevvy!" Harry insisted, trying to get free of Severus's restraining arms.

"Hold on, you need to get dried off first, brat," Severus said, drying the wriggling boy off with a hastily cast drying charm. "Now let's get you in a clean nappy and pajamas and then you can play with the overgrown mutt."

Once he'd dressed the toddler, he allowed Harry to romp with Sirius for ten minutes, then he told Harry it was time for books and he read _Goodnight Moon_ three times and _The Littlest Unicorn_ and _Love You Forever_ until Harry was asleep. After tucking him into his crib and leaving a small nightlight on, he walked back into the den and met the knowing smirks of his friends.

"Want a beer, Sev?" offered Sirius, grinning like a dog with a bone.

"No, thanks."

"How about some pretzels?" Matthew suggested, his hazel eyes twinkling.

"No."

"Wait, I know. We could roast some marshmallows over the fire, and have us a sing-a-long. You know, Camptown Races, Row Row Row Your Boat, Great Balls of Fire. . ." Matthew suggested, then he cracked up.

"Very funny, Morgan," Severus scowled.

"I never thought I see the day . . ." Sirius howled, holding his sides and laughing uncontrollably.

"Yeah . . .you know what they say, Siri," Matthew gasped.

"What?"

"It ain't over till Sevvy sings!"

The two collapsed onto the couch, prostrate with mirth.

Severus frowned at them severely. "I don't see what the hell's so funny about it."

"We know! That's why it's so damn funny!" roared Sirius.

Severus just shook his head. "Some damn friends you are," he muttered, pretending to be angry, though he was more embarrassed than angry. He stalked into the kitchen to make himself a cup of tea, leaving his two friends sniggering like two adolescent boys, hiding a faint smile. _Only for you, Harry._

**So . . .who liked Sev singing?!**

Next: Sirius and Remus have a heart-to-heart with Lily concerning their best friend.


	6. More Than A Friend

__________

Two months later:

It had been six months since James had died, and Lily finally felt comfortable enough to move back into her own house once more. She still missed her husband, but the pain was removed to a distant throb, not the sharp cutting pain she had felt initially. Time, in its mercy, was finally mending her heart. Then too, she didn't want to impose any more than necessary on her parents, who were getting on in years, and should be able to enjoy their newfound freedom from raising children and grandchildren. Despite Hal and Vi's insistence that they didn't mind her living with them for a few more months, Lily felt it was time for her to make a go of being a single parent, especially now that her house was no longer a reflection of her dead husband, since most of James's thing had been given away to friends or donated to charity.

Lily had kept some important things, like photos, a pocket watch James had gotten from his grandfather, a Qudditch jersey he had particularly liked, and a few books, but that was all. Her best mementos of her husband were inside her head, James had liked to live life to the fullest, on the edge, which was why he'd gone into law enforcement. Because there he could do legally what he enjoyed best, dueling dark wizards and putting them in Azkaban. He had told her once, when she had suggested that he volunteer for a safer position in the department, after Harry was born, like a consultant who worked normal hours, and could spend time with his new family, that he wasn't meant to be a parchment-pusher, stuck behind a desk. "I need to be out there, babe, kicking the crap out of some scumbag. Anything else is a waste of my time."

When Voldemort had started making moves upon the Ministry and outright war had been declared, James had fairly leapt at the chance to fight the most evil wizard of all. He'd been the first to volunteer for a crack team of Aurors whose sole purpose was to hunt down and kill as many Death Eaters as possible. "This is just the opportunity I've been waiting for all my life, Lil," he'd reported to her, acting as if he'd just been given a million Galleons. "The chance to match spells with old Moldy Riddle himself. Then we'll see who's the toughest wizard on the block, sure enough."

Lily had tried to make him see reason, reminding him that he had a son who needed a father, but James had been too caught up in his dreams of glory to pay attention to her. "Don't worry, babe. This war will be done by Christmas, and then Harry can be proud he had a dad who was a hero."

James's words had proven prophetic, sort of, for he had died a hero, going out in a blaze of glory, with a reckless courage that Lily prayed her son had not inherited. Harry had finally stopped asking where "Dada" was, his child's mind having become resigned to the fact that his daddy was gone. Then too, James had rarely been home to bond with his son, Harry had seen more of James's three friends on a regular basis than his own father.

Especially Severus, who despite a killer workload of patients, always managed to find time to visit the Potter house once a week, checking up on Lily and Harry and making sure they didn't lack for companionship, once James had gone away to hunt Voldemort to his secret base and finish him off. Lily had never been more grateful for Severus's solid friendship and support.

Now that James was gone, she found herself even more appreciative of her best friend, who was willing to take time out of his personal hours, which were few, and spend them with her and Harry. When Lily had gone away to that spa two months ago, Alice Longbottom had said that she thought Healer Snape still carried a torch for Lily.

"You used to date when we were back in school, Lil, and I don't think he's ever gotten over you. Unless he's gay."

Lily had shook her head firmly. "No, Alice, Sev's as straight as an arrow." She recalled the way he had looked at her that afternoon in the kitchen, a few days after James's funeral. The look in his eyes had been mostly concern, but there had been love there too, and not the love of a friend either. No, Snape had the look of a man who desires a woman and loves her to the exclusion of all else. Lily knew he didn't date anyone, he had always claimed he was too busy to go out with his practice.

Yet he always managed to steal a day or two here and there for her. She had begun to suspect that Alice was correct, and that Severus loved her as much more than a good friend. And always had.

It was funny, Lily mused as she laid a sleeping Harry down for his nap, James had swept her off her feet like Prince Charming in the summer of her sixth year. He had wooed and romanced her with finesse and skill, and in the end she had surrendered to the handsome young man, for he made her blood quicken and her heart leap with a quicksilver fire she had never known. James had intoxicated her senses, and she had fallen under his spell in three months. Poor Severus, awkward and shy, hadn't stood a chance against James, and he had known it, and had withdrawn before he could embarrass himself by pursuing a woman who obviously wasn't interested in him as anything more than a friend.

At least that had been the case once.

But now . . .now Lily found it was Severus who made her pulse thunder in her veins, Severus who was no longer the skinny awkward bookworm, but a mature brilliant wizard in his own right, and who had somehow metamorphosized into a tall handsome man with a killer smile when he chose to bestow it. Now she found herself longing for Severus's arms about her at night, and to feel his long elegant fingers running through her hair and to hear him whisper "little flower" in that silky tone that made her quiver with desire. Somehow, throughout the long months, her best friend had become something more, something steadfast and endearing, and she saw now what she had missed before.

Quiet Severus Tobias Snape was a man of great passion beneath his reserved exterior. Vi used to say that "Still waters ran deep", meaning that sometimes you had to look beneath the surface in order to see the true nature of someone. But at seventeen, Lily had not had the patience to do that, and had allowed the suave fun-loving James to whirl her away, convinced that he was her fairy tale knight in shining armor.

Now she was older, wiser, and a part of her began to wonder what might have been had she stayed with the awkward bookish boy, who had loved her with a steady unwavering flame, loved her enough to let her go with his best friend, rather than cause a rift between them by fighting for her. _Oh, Sev, how much did you sacrifice by keeping silent? How many tears did you shed alone over opportunities lost? How you buried your jealousy with your work, and resigned yourself to the fact that your best friend had waltzed in and stolen away your girlfriend and never thought twice about it?_

Looking back, she recalled that at the end of their sixth year Severus had just begun to make awkward advances towards her, they had gone out casually for ice cream and once to a movie, but she hadn't really taken it seriously, and then along had come James. James, who had been everything Sev was not, confident, handsome, rich, daring, and totally oblivious to the feelings of his best friend. Back then, Severus had been self-conscious and insecure, made so by a lifetime of living under the critical and abusive personality of Tobias Snape, it would have never occurred to him to protest that James had taken Lily away, he had probably thought she was better off with the other boy, who could give her everything she desired.

_We were selfish and cruel to you, Sev_, she realized with a pang of remorse. _I never once considered the fact that you might have wanted something more from me than friendship, but were too shy to know how to express it. And then seventh year came, and you buried yourself in the library, studying and reading, so you could pass the Auror Examinations and the Healer Intern_ _Boards too, and we all thought you were just being a typical nerd, obsessed with your studies, when you probably went there so you didn't have to see James and me together. Then we graduated and your mother was dying and you were trying so hard to find a way to save her, and meanwhile James and I were planning our wedding._

Soon after the Potters' wedding, Eileen had died, and left her son without a family, since he had basically disowned his father, and once again Snape had sought solace in hard work, dedicating himself to his true calling as Master Healer with a vengeance. Lily had been the only one he allowed to comfort him during that time, not even Remus had known how badly Eileen Snape's loss had hit Severus. He had covered his grief well, but somehow Lily had known_._

_I've always been able to tell when he was upset or hurting. That Spartan facade never fooled me. James was just the opposite, you always knew how he felt about something, you never needed to guess. I wonder what he would say to me now, if he would approve of me considering Severus as a possible partner? If our roles were reversed, I have a sneaking suspicion that he would be scoping out potential wives by now, he was never one to lack for women either, like Sirius, though he did promise that once we were married he wouldn't look at anyone else._

She was reasonably sure James had kept that promise, but then again, they had only been married for two years and a few months, and a part of her whispered that James might have grown bored with her eventually, vow or no vow. She knew that in some rich pureblood families it was considered acceptable for a man to keep a mistress as well as a wife. James's father Charles had had a mistress, they had found that out when Charles had died and left her a substantial amount of money in his will. James had not been shocked, he had shrugged and said that his father had always had an eye for a well-turned leg. Lily, on the other hand, had felt awful for Anna, and counted it lucky that the woman was dead, because surely she would have been hurt by her husband's infidelity.

_Or perhaps not. Maybe she would have just accepted it as status quo. Not me. I'd have handed James his balls on a platter if I ever learned he'd been cheating on me. In my family, fidelity was a given._

Still, she pondered on her newfound affection for the Master Healer, and wondered if she was being disloyal to her husband's memory. She had loved James, loved him with the passion and fire of a young girl in the flush of youth. And he had loved her the same way. But her feelings for Severus were different. _She_ was different, she had been tempered by responsibility and motherhood and loss and what she felt for Severus was deeper, steadier, more mature.

She did not think it was going to go away, it fact it had increased since that speculative talk with Alice. But did she have the right to strike up a relationship with her husband's best friend when James was not even dead for a year? People would talk.

But then, they always did. Would she care? No, not really. Would Sirius and Remus care? That, she did not know and needed to find out. Perhaps if she discussed it with them, they could ease her mind, and then she could allow herself to form a new relationship with Severus without a guilty conscience.

_I need to talk to them sometime soon. Maybe tomorrow?_

Tomorrow was Sunday, when James was alive, they used to have Sunday dinner with Padfoot, Mooney, and Severus. Since he had been gone, however, Lily had spent Sundays with her parents and Harry. Perhaps now would be a good time to revive the Sunday dinner tradition, especially since this weekend Severus was on call and he wouldn't be able to make it to dinner. Yes, tomorrow would be the perfect opportunity for her to have a discussion with Sirius and Remus.

* * * * * *

As it turned out, the two Aurors had the same idea, and so it was that after dinner, when Harry had been put to bed, they gathered in the kitchen for a spot of tea and biscuits and Lily asked Sirius what he thought a proper period of mourning was.

The Auror looked slightly confused for a moment. "Uh, I guess that would depend on the person, Lil. Whether or not he or she had stopped grieving for the one they'd lost. Right, Moony?"

Remus also looked thoughtful. "Yes. Some people could take years to get over someone's death. Other times, the grief runs its course in less time. Why? Are you thinking of putting off your mourning clothes of gray and black, Lily?" he teased, for Lily had mostly stuck to wearing subdued and muted colors following the funeral.

She nodded. "I know it's only been six months, but I need . . . a change."

"Good. James would be the first to tell you that life was for the living, not the dead," said Sirius earnestly, his deep brown eyes filled with compassion and gravity.

"He sure would," agreed Remus. "James used to say, when I go to my reward, I don't want all of you to weep and moan about what a pity it was and how I'd led such a virtuous life, I want you to get drunk, tell people about what a hell-raiser I was, and celebrate my life, because sure as Merlin's staff, I'm gonna be partying it up in heaven."

"I remember him saying that," laughed Sirius. "That's typical of him. He also used to say, do what makes you happy, 'cause you've only got one life and best you enjoy it."

"He did enjoy it," Lily said quietly. "Every minute, I'll bet."

"Except when he was in trouble as a kid with his dad or one of the professors," chuckled Lupin.

"Yeah, but even then he was like, oh damn, I got caught this time, but there's always tomorrow to see what else I can think up to drive them crazy," grinned Padfoot. "He used to spend about an hour regretting whatever it was he got in trouble for and the next five minutes figuring out a way to pull another prank."

"Too true. I remember once he told me he was going to cast a Bad Odor Hex on his least favorite aunt, I think her name was Tilly, and I asked him, if he wasn't afraid he'd get into trouble and he just laughed and said, 'Well, I'll probably end up getting my bum walloped again with Dad's slipper, but that's not the first time that's happened, and the risk is half the fun.'" Lily recalled with a fond smile.

"Poor Charles. He must've worn out a whole shoe store trying to discipline James," Remus snickered.

"Ten pairs at least," Sirius said, and pretended to shudder. "And every time he would promise he'd behave and somehow he could never keep that promise."

Lily nodded, for there had always lurked an imp of mischief in James Potter, even as a grown Auror, and he had never really grown out of it. He would have always been a little kid at heart, even when he was sixty. "And do you think he would, um, mind . . .if I . . .uh . . .started looking to date again?"

Sirius raised an eyebrow. "Are you asking if you think you're being disloyal to James's memory?"

"Well . . .in a way . . .yes."

"Lil, honey, I think that James would be the first to tell you to do what makes you happy," Remus said.

"Moony's right. James would never want you to mourn him forever, or . . .put him on some kind of pedestal. In fact, if he were here, he'd probably tell you to invite the guy over for dinner and see if he liked your cooking. He used to tell me that a man and a woman were made to be together."

"You really think so?"

"Yeah, Lily. James would never want you to become a bitter widow, and Harry needs a good role model too." Remus informed her.

"Uh, what are you saying, we're not good enough?" Sirius snorted, pretending to be insulted.

"Oh, sweet Merlin, Siri. You're the role model for Troublemaker of the Year, and I'm the role model for Werewolves Anonymous. Not exactly the kind of thing Harry ought to be absorbing on a daily basis."

"Okay, maybe you've got a point." He eyed Lily shrewdly. "D'you have somebody in mind, Lil, or are you just scouting out the field?"

"No . . .I . . .I've been thinking a lot about, um, going out with Sev."

"Ha!" Sirius cried, slapping his hand down on his knee. "I knew it! What'd I tell you, Remus? I knew she was eying Sev up and down the last time we were together."

"First time you've been right about something in the last three months," remarked the werewolf. "Does Sev know?"

Lily shook her head. "No. I . . .haven't told him yet. I wanted to be sure that I wasn't tarnishing James's memory or anything."

"You could never do that, Lil. James is a hero, his memory will always be golden and shiny, no matter what," said Sirius. "Do what feels best to you, Lil. One thing I can tell you, is that you'll never find another man who loves Harry the way Severus does."

"That's twice in one day. Must be a miracle." Moony smirked and Sirius shot him a dirty look. "Most men would accept Harry only for your sake, but Sev's not like that. And not only does he love Harry, Lily, he loves you as well."

"Did he tell you that?"she asked, feeling her heart speed up.

"Well, not in so many words, but you can see by the way he acts that he loves you. He never looks at any woman the way he looks at you." Remus stated, flushing a little.

"Oh? And what way is that, Moony?" Lily asked mischievously.

"Like you're the last woman on earth. Or maybe the ONLY woman on earth," replied the werewolf.

"Yeah, Sev's got it bad," murmured Sirius. "Take it from one who knows."

"Like you've ever loved anyone that way, Padfoot," snorted his partner.

"I kind of loved Christine that way," argued the Animagus. "Only she moved to Paris."

"Yeah, yeah. The day you settle down with one woman, Padfoot, is the day when Harry turns thirty."

"There's nothing wrong with a little variety, Remus."

Remus rolled his eyes. Then he looked at his best friend's widow and said, "Lily, go out with Sev and don't worry about James's ghost coming back to haunt you. James would be the first to say that with Sev you're in good hands, and Harry wouldn't grow up feeling unwanted with him for a stepdad."

"Sev's a good guy, Lily, and he really cares for you. James would understand. Hell, luv, he'd probably be happy you're dating his best friend instead of some bloke off the street that we'd have to teach proper manners to." Sirius said.

Lily smiled. "Thanks, guys. You've really helped me a lot."

"Glad to. Now, d'you have any ale? I'm parched." Sirius asked, begging shamelessly.

"Here, you big mutt," Lily laughed, and summoned a bottle of Mystic Mick's for him. "Thanks for the advice."

"Anytime, Lil." Sirius smiled at her and winked, before popping the top off the bottle and taking a long pull.

"How about you, Moony?"

"No, can't. It's too close to the full moon. Sev just brewed me a batch of Wolfsbane and it doesn't react well with alcohol." Remus said regretfully. "But I'll have a Coke, if you've got it."

Lily summoned a Coke from her fridge and some ginger ale for herself, and they all sipped companionably about the kitchen table, thinking about two very different friends and Lily felt the anxiety in her gut vanish.

Sirius exchanged glances with Remus. Now all they had to do was convince Severus that Lily wanted him as more than a friend and watch the sparks fly.


	7. Never Second Best

**Never Second Best**

"What seems to be the problem with little Ron, Molly?" Master Healer Snape asked when Molly Weasley came in, holding young Ron on her hip. She was perspiring a little, for Ron was no lightweight, especially when she was six months pregnant. This child would be her seventh and her last, she had vowed when she had come in for her last pre-natal exam. "I told Arthur, girl or no girl, this is IT, Healer Sev. You weren't here to deliver the other six of mine, but after this one, whatever it may be, I. Am. Done."

"Can't say I blame you, Molly." Severus had told her then, before performing a routine obstetric diagnostic on her.

But this visit was not anything to do with her pregnancy, it was to do with her youngest son, who was twenty-one months old, nearly the same age as Harry. Like all the Weasley clan, he had inherited his father's flaming ginger hair. He was dressed in a knitted maroon pullover with a R on it that Severus knew Molly had made, she loved to knit and crochet and was forever making clothing for her growing family and any friends. Severus had several caps, a pair of gloves, two afghans and a sweater knitted by her, most of them thank you gifts for his medical care. (He usually waived his fees for them, since he knew how tough it was to make ends meet with such a large family, and he would never take advantage of anyone in those straits.)

He was clinging to Molly stubbornly, sniffling and whimpering. "Now, Ronnie, you just sit your little behind down on the table and let Healer Sev look at you, all right?" the Weasley matriarch was saying in a gentle yet firm tone. She deposited her child on the cushioned exam table with a gasp and a huff. "I swear, this one gets harder every day for me to carry."

"You might want to mind how you pick him up from now on, Molly," cautioned the physician. "You wouldn't want to throw out your back. He's big enough to walk on his own, right, Ronnie?" Severus turned to the boy, whose lower lip was trembling and his eyes were rapidly filling with tears.

"Yeah. No shots, Healer Sev, please!" he whined.

"Relax, child. You aren't here for vaccinations yet," Severus reassured him, reaching out to ruffle his unruly hair. "Molly, what's the matter with him?"

Molly looked slightly embarrassed. "Well, Healer Sev, he, uh, stuck seven Bertie Botts Beans up his nose. Jammed them in there quite tight, y'see, and I, uh, can't get them out. Billy did that once but he only got to three before I caught him and got them out with a Sneezing Charm."

"I see. And why were you sticking beans up your nose, young man?"

Ron shrugged and looked down at his blue trainers. "Cause Georgie tol' me to. He said all the brave boys did it."

Molly groaned. "Those twins will be the death of me, I fear. Ronnie, how many times have I told you, don't listen to your brothers? They just want to play pranks on you."

"And not very good ones, either," Severus said, drawing his wand. "All right, let's have a look." He tapped the wand once to his temple, making his eyes sharp as lasers, so he could peer up the child's nose and make sure the beans weren't caught on a protruding piece of cartilage or bone before extracting them. He gently tilted Ron's head back and felt the child's nose with a hand.

"Ouch!"

"Sorry, I know that's uncomfortable, but I need to see how far up those beans are. Hold still."

Ron whimpered as Severus deftly probed his nose, then he released the little boy. "Well, I've seen worse. I can have these out in, oh, about seven minutes. First, I'm going to numb your nose a bit, Ronnie." He tapped his wand against Ron's nose and muttered a Numbing Charm.

The little boy's nose went numb. Next Severus summoned a vial of Nasal Elixir and a thin medicine dropper. "Then some nose drops to moisten the nasal passages, like so. Lean your head back for me, please. Good job!"

Severus carefully inserted three drops of elixir into each nostril.

Ron coughed a little, but the drops didn't really hurt. "All done?"

"No. Not just yet. Now I have to extract those beans, silly child."

"How will you do that, Severus?"

"A simple Extraction Charm, Molly." Severus replied, then he took a seat upon the exam table and drew the boy into a half reclining position on his lap. "He shouldn't feel it too much. Ready? One. Two. Three. _Extracto Nauso!_"

Severus pointed his wand and a silvery thread shot out of it and into Ron's nose. The Healer drew his wand back with a quick motion and the thread retrieved a bean and dropped it on the table. Ron squirmed. "Steady, Ronnie. That's one."

The spell continued to work, extracting another bean at a rate of one per minute. It didn't really hurt, but there was a kind of pressure and Ron whimpered and started to cry. Severus stroked his hair and Molly whispered, "It's okay, luv, it's almost over. You're such a brave boy."

Finally the last bean came out and Severus applied two more drops to the boy's poor abused nose before sitting him up. "Well done, Ron. You were one of the easiest extractions I've ever had. Here's a chocolate frog for being such a good patient." He beckoned and a chocolate frog appeared on the table next to Ron, who grabbed it eagerly.

"Ronnie, what do you say to Healer Sev?" Molly prompted.

"Thanks."

"You're welcome. Next time, remember that beans are for eating and not for sticking up your nose. Remember, your nose is there so you can smell everything, and it can't work right if you stick beans up it," Severus remonstrated gently.

" Kay, Healer Sev. I 'member." Ron said solemnly, clutching the chocolate frog box to him tightly. "Next time I stick 'em up Georgie's nose!"

"Oh, Ron!" Molly groaned while Severus fought to keep from laughing. "Beans don't belong in your brother's nose either. Though I shall give them a long talking-to for telling you to do something they knew was wrong and perhaps send them to bed without supper too." She shook her head ruefully. "Ah, the joys of raising boys. I do hope this next one's a girl." She patted her slightly rounded belly. "How much do I owe you, Severus?"

"Six Sickles," answered the Healer promptly.

"Severus! That's not even enough to cover the nose drops!"

"Six Sickles, Mrs. Weasley," he repeated firmly. He charged her the bare minimum he could without seeming to be condescending.

"Severus, you'll never get rich practicing medicine gratis," Molly reprimanded, then reached into her drawstring bag and handed him the six Sickles.

"Humph! True, but I'm not in this profession to make money. I'm doing it because it's what I'm meant to do, Molly. Thank you." He pocketed the money. Later he would give it to his office manager, Zurich, who was a goblin, and he would deposit it into the practice's bank account at the end of the day.

"No, Healer Sev, thank _you_," Molly smiled at him, then picked up her son. "Come along, Ronnie, I need to get home and start making supper. You can eat that after, if you eat all your veggies, all right?"

"Aw, Mum!" whined the toddler, but he waved goodbye to Severus as they left the exam room.

Soon after that, his new medi-witch, Miss Perkins, announced his next patient, a Mrs. Bellingham, who was complaining of an upset stomach and irritable bowels.

* * * * * *

By the time he was done with all of his patients that day, Severus felt like he'd been run over repeatedly by the Hogwarts Express. And it wasn't mere physical exhaustion either. His magical reserves were hurting and so was his head. But he was used to it, he generally saw over seventy patients on any given day, and that was bound to take it's toll. Every patient exam was different too, since Severus was something like a Muggle GP as well as a specialist in spell damage. Three nights a week he worked in the Spell Damage Ward at St. Mungos, treating those patients who had been hit with curses and hexes or had some kind of experiment go wrong.

Luckily, tonight was not one of those nights. He was looking forward to going home and relaxing with a nice hot cup of Indian chai tea and eating the cinnamon buns Molly had baked for him, which he had discovered on his desk along with a thank you note. Typical Molly Weasley! She figured he could use a sweet every now and then, and he did appreciate the sincere and touching gesture. Sometimes Molly reminded him of Eileen, who used to send him packages every so often at school with homemade bread and biscuits and candy in them. He had looked forward to them immensely, since at that time Eileen was the only family he had who gave a damn about him.

He picked up the small box with the cinnamon buns inside and was just going to cast a Locking Charm over his office, when the mirror in his pocket vibrated. _Blessed hells, what now?_ He wondered irritably, trying to massage his left temple and fumble the mirror from the pocket of his robe at the same time.

He thanked God none of his interns or nurses were there to see that, he probably looked like he had some kind of twitching disease. But he finally pulled the mirror out and said, "Healer Snape, how may I help you?"

To his surprise, Remus's face was illuminated by the mirror. "Hey, Sev. I wanted to ask you if you'd like to join Sirius and me for dinner."

"As long as neither of you are cooking," joked Snape lightly, for neither Auror knew how to make anything edible, since they had been raised with house elves.

"Wouldn't dream of it. Last time I tried to cook, I nearly set my house on fire," the werewolf admitted sheepishly. "Now I leave the cooking to Misty, my house elf. It's safer that way."

"Good idea, Moony. Because there's no worse smell than singed werewolf."

"Ha ha. Funny, Sev. So . . .you coming over or not?"

"Your place?"

"Yes. You wouldn't want to set foot in Siri's. It's uh . . ."

"A disaster?"

"Yeah, you could say that. You know how he is about picking up things. Anyway, dinner's at seven, so you ought to have plenty of time to change or whatever."

"Thanks, Moony. I'll bring dessert."

"Great. See you then."

The mirror went dark as Remus broke the connection.

Severus coughed slightly and then finished locking up his office. He bid goodbye to the receptionist and some of the med-witches still on duty, then Apparated to his apartment, hurrying to get showered and into something other than a white robe for dinner. Thank goodness Molly had made those cinnamon buns, he thought as the hot water pelted him, soothing away all the aches in his muscles.

* * * * * *

An hour later, Sev found himself seated at Remus's dining room table, enjoying a tender cut of roast beef with gravy, roasted red potatoes with butter and garlic, and crisp green beans almondine, along with fresh rolls dripping with butter. All of the meal had been prepared by Misty, Lupin's house elf, which he had inherited along with the house when his parents had passed on.

Severus had spent many happy hours at the Lupin residence over the holidays, Eileen used to make sure he got away from Spinner's End after he came home for break and the summer, so he could enjoy time with his friends and not worry about Tobias coming home in a drunken rage from another failed job inquiry and lashing out at him. Severus had preferred staying at Remus's place instead of the Blacks because Casseopia, Sirius's mother, was very prejudiced against half-bloods, tending to regard them as lower class citizens, and Regulus, Sirius's little brother, was an annoying snitch.

Remus's parents, John and Belinda, had never cared about his half-blood status, treating him cordially, and Severus had always felt comfortable there, though not as comfortable as he did at the Evans. The Potters were accepting as well, though their huge manor intimidated the young boy, who was not used to such a grand scale and frequently got lost in the manor.

Then too, James had some relatives who looked down their noses at Sev, in fact one of the pranks James had played upon an elderly aunt was on Severus's behalf, despite Snape's insistence that James should let it be. But James refused to listen, had his little joking revenge, and ended up over Charles' knee for it. Severus recalled cringing in terror when the angry man had come up to them, demanding to know who had made Aunt Tilly stink like a pile of manure. He had been sure the elder Potter was either going to curse them good or thrash all of them.

But Charles had known immediately that his son was responsible, and therefore only punished him. Charles was nothing if not fair and he never disciplined any child save his own and Sirius, who was his godson. Something that had relieved young Sev to no end, for he had feared he would end up getting blamed for James's prank as well, and he had no desire to get walloped with a slipper, he got all too much of that kind of thing at home.

His musings were interrupted by Remus asking, "So, how goes the practice, Sev?"

"Today I had pretty routine cases. Except little Ron Weasley decided to stick half a bag of Bertie Botts up his nose and I had to extract them."

Sirius looked a bit green. "Ugh! Can we please not have this discussion during dinner?"

Remus was laughing. "Sweet Merlin! What on earth was he thinking?"

"Who knows? Children do some very strange things at that age," said the Master Healer.

"Sounds like something you'd of done, Padfoot."

Sirius blushed. "Y'know, now that you mention it, I . . .think I _did_ do something similar, only with my mother's pearls."

Severus looked at Remus. "Casseopia must have been . . .livid!" Then he started to laugh.

Remus joined in, both of them imagining the utter horror on Sirius's mother's face, she of the impeccable manners and appearance, who had a horror of dirt and untidiness.

Sirius pretended to look grumpy, but then he too joined in.

Once they had stopped laughing, Remus asked, "Meet any hot interns yet, Master Healer?"

Severus looked up from the last bit of beef on his plate, swallowed and answered, "I don't date my interns, Moony, no matter who they are or how pretty they are. Bad policy, creates too much friction between the staff and me, and that's the last thing I want."

"Oh? Too bad. That little brunette medi-witch I saw last time I came in to pick up my Wolfsbane Potion was a real looker." Remus sighed wistfully.

"Amanda Mellin?" Severus guessed. "She's just finished her first year, and is plenty smart. Just because I don't date them doesn't mean you can't, Moony."

"Hmmm. I'll have to think about it." Remus eyed his best friend, then said, "If you won't date the girls in the practice, who will you date, Sev?"

Severus did not answer, staring down at his plate.

"I think I can guess," Sirius put in. "She's about five three, with long ginger hair and emerald eyes and she's the prettiest flower in the garden."

Severus looked uncomfortable. "Black, be serious. I can't date Lily, she's not looking for a relationship with anyone now, least of all me."

"Why do you say that, Sev?"

"We . . .uh . .. went out during our sixth year. It . . .didn't work out."

"Sev, that was because James knew how to romance a woman and you didn't. " Sirius said. "But you never asked me for advice back then." The Auror cleared his throat. "If James had known you had a thing for Lily . . ."

"He would have laughed in my face. I was no competition for him then, I got tongue-tied speaking to Lily about anything other than academics. And I wasn't going to be second best to anyone, not even my best friend."

"Can't say I blame you," Remus put in, summoning Misty to clear away his plate. "But you're not sixteen anymore, Sev and you don't have to be second best to anyone now, you're a successful accredited Healer and Potions Master."

"Remus, what makes you think Lily _wants_ to date me? James has only been dead six months, she still mourns him."

"And probably always will. But that doesn't mean she has to put her life on hold, Sev." Sirius pointed out.

Remus agreed. "There's no law that says a woman has to mourn her husband fora year or whatever before she can go out again. This isn't the eighteen-hundreds, Severus. Grief and sorrow aren't logical and I've never understood the whole concept that people have of trying to compartmentalize it. Guess that's the wolf in me. The wolf knows there's a place and a time for all things, birth, death, sorrow, and love. When a loved one dies, you mourn until you're done, and then you go on. It doesn't matter how long it takes, when you're done mourning, it's over. Oh, there's always a sore spot in your heart for the one that's gone, but it's not crippling. You can deal with it. I think Lily has reached that point."

Severus arched an eyebrow. "You do? And what makes you think she would even consider me as a boyfriend, Moony? I'm nothing like James."

"Maybe that's why," Moony said.

"I don't know. I'm her friend, I was always her friend, but she never wanted me to be anything more. As soon as James showed interest in her . . ." he trailed off, recalling the bitter sharp pain in his chest as if it were yesterday.

"Sev, she was sixteen. She's not now. Her feelings have changed. I think she's noticing what she missed before." Sirius told him.

"Noticed what? That I'm pathetically in love with her?" laughed Severus, a mocking sneer on his face. But the sneer was for himself, not Sirius.

"Sev, stop it!" ordered the Animagus. "Damn it, man, you aren't that awkward sixteen-year-old anymore. You might feel that you are, but you aren't. You're a Goddamn hero and a successful Master Healer, and whatever crap Tobias shoved down your throat for all those years about you being worthless and no good was a load of bull. You proved him wrong a dozen times over, Sev. I know it, Moony knows it, and Lily knows it."

Severus looked doubtful.

"Don't believe me? Ask her, Sev. Ask her if she likes you as more than a friend," Sirius urged.

"I can't do _that_!"

"Why not? Forgotten how to speak English, buddy? It's just words. You smile and say, Lily, do you want to go out with me? And then-"

"-and then she looks at me like I was nuts and I've made a fool out of myself and ruined our friendship." Severus shook his head.

"How do you know she'll say that?" Remus asked.

"Because she never noticed before, Moony. I was so in love with her I almost burst. And she never looked at me as anything but a friend."

"And do you love her like that still?"

"Yes."

"Trust me, Sev. Show her that and she'll go out with you. Take a chance. Lily's grown up and so have you. Go for it. You won't regret it."

The Master Healer looked even more uncertain.

Sirius nearly ground his teeth in frustration. Merlin, but why was the man so bloody_ stubborn_? He decided to play one last card, one ploy that he hoped might convince the other to screw up his courage, and Severus had plenty of that to spare, and tell Lily his true feelings. "Okay, if you won't tell her, Snape, _I_ will. I'll be the, uh, what did they used to call those people way back when? Oh-yeah, the matchmaker. I'll go to Lily and tell her you're dying for love of her and she has to go out with you before you waste away."

"You do, Black, and I'll throttle you! You stay out of this!" Severus snapped. "I need you playing matchmaker like I need a hole in my head."

"Are you going to ask Lily out then?" Sirius challenged, locking eyes with the other man. "Because if you don't . . .I've got a handful of Floo Powder right here, buddy."

"Sirius!" growled his friend. "I'm not afraid to ask her, I just think she needs more time to get over the death of her husband."

"You're wrong."

"How do you know that?"

"Because Lily said so," Sirius shot back triumphantly.

Severus looked as if he were about to faint. "She . . .did?"

"Yup. Right, Moony?"

The werewolf nodded solemnly.

Severus glanced from one to the other, at a loss. "This wouldn't be some kind of sick prank you two are playing, would it?" he asked suspiciously.

The two Aurors shook their heads vehemently.

"No way, Sev. We'd never do something like that to you," Remus reassured.

"This is on the level, buddy. Lily is ready to go out again. And she wants to go out with you."

"You're certain?"

"Sev, you know how as a wolf I can smell pheromones, right?"

"Yes."

"Well, human emotions are easy for me to read because of that. That's why people can't really lie to me. And when Lily mentioned your name, Snape, her pheromones . . .were like going insane with desire. So I'd say you had a damn good chance with her, old boy."

Severus stared down at his half-finished plate of roast beef with gravy. Remus's words, spoken so matter-of-factly, had hit him like a sucker punch to the solar plexus. Lily desired him. She _wanted_ him, Master Healer Snape. Even after what she had shared with James, she still wanted him. It just about blew him away.

After a very long moment, he looked up at Remus. "You're certain, Moony, that's what you smelled?"

"Oh, yes. I know what desire smells like, Severus. It's one of the easiest emotions to discern, in an animal as well as a human. And I know it was you she wanted, Sev, because she didn't smell like that when she was speaking about James. Or Padfoot. Or me. Only you."

"That's . . .unbelievable." Severus said, still dazed. He could feel his heart rate increase at the mere thought of the red-haired witch.

"Believe me. I can't lie about this kind of thing," Remus insisted. His deep brown eyes met Severus's dark ones squarely.

And Severus read the inescapable truth in them.

And hope bloomed anew in his heart.

"Just think about it, okay?" Remus said softly, sensing his friend's sudden change of heart. "I'll keep Padfoot here on a leash while you decide."

"Hey!" Sirius glared at his partner indignantly. "I was only trying to help."

"You've helped enough, Sirius," said the Master Healer. "Now quit whining and eat your dinner." He turned back to his own meal, ignoring the other's grumbling. If Remus was right . . .and he knew that wolf instinct usually was, then he could proceed with his courtship of Lily like he had always dreamed.

He picked up a forkful of potato and found that it melted in his mouth. The next day he was off, he would go and see her, and hope that her feelings were not a momentary aberration.

Once they were finished with dinner, Misty cleared the plates away and Severus brought out the cinnamon buns Molly had made for dessert. Both Aurors stared at the plate of enormous sticky buns as if they were Galleons.

"I'm changing professions, Padfoot," Moony declared after biting into one and sighing in bliss. "If I'm a Healer like Sev, then Molly will bake me cinnamon buns too."

"No fair. You'd leave me to be bored to death just 'cause of a pastry?" Sirius objected.

"Mmm-hmm." Remus replied, licking the sticky cinnamon residue off his fingers. "These cinnamon buns are to die for."

"Maybe I could ask Molly for the recipe," mused Severus.

"Do it, Snape. Then the werewolf will stay in the Auror Department where he belongs and you can bake us cinnamon buns whenever he wants."

"Sev, you learn how to bake these and you'll be my best friend forever."

"Like I'm not that now?"

Remus grinned.

"What am I, chopped liver?" demanded Sirius.

"You're an annoying pain in the arse is what you are," Severus teased. Then he took his own cinnamon bun and bit into it. Remus was right. It was to die for.

"Gee, thanks. I feel so loved," grumbled Sirius.

Severus shoved the plate of cinnamon buns over to the Animagus. "Here, Siri. Shut up and eat, silly mutt. No one can resist Molly's cinnamon buns."

Sirius quit grumbling and ate one, then reached for another at the same time as Remus.

The two glared at each other, then began to argue about who had it first.

Severus ignored them and slyly grabbed it and ate it while the two were quarreling.

It took them about two seconds to realize the bun was missing, then both turned identical glowers on their sneaky friend.

Severus smirked. "Hey, you snooze you lose. Next time don't argue at the dinner table."

"Damn it, Sev!"

"Typical Slytherin," Remus grumbled, then he laughed.

Soon they were all laughing and the evening ended on a positive note, much to Severus's relief. Now all he had to do was talk to Lily and see if she really was interested in a single Master Healer. He prayed Remus was correct, otherwise he would die of embarrassment.

**Well, what did you think of Molly and Ron here? And Moony and Padfoot's advice to Severus?**

**Please review and let me know!**

**Next: Severus gathers up his courage and speaks to Lily.**


	8. Testing the Waters

**Testing the Waters**

__

Two days later

Evans residence

Spinners End

Severus banged the knocker down on the front door of the Evans residence, fidgeting slightly as he did so. He was dressed in a casual set of pants and a winter white cable knit sweater, another present from Molly Weasley. A minute later, Vi opened the door, and smiled at the Master Healer. "Hello, Sev. Right on time, I see. Come on in."

Severus followed the slightly plump matriarch back into the kitchen and Vi immediately pressed a cup of tea and a shortbread on him before he could refuse. "Lily's gone to freshen up a bit, Sev." Vi told him, he was there to take Lily out on a casual date, to dinner and a movie. "And Hal's taken Harry to the park so he's good and tired and will go to sleep at a decent hour tonight."

Severus sipped his tea, though another part of him was whispering _you need something a hell of a lot stronger than tea, like maybe a shot of Glenlivet straight up. _Or he would if he drank, he acknowledged with a sigh. _Why am I so damn nervous? It's Lily, for Godsake, the girl I grew up with who used to tease and call me Sev the Shadow, 'cause I practically faded away in sunlight, I was so thin. So why do I feel so bloody awkward, like I was sixteen again? _

He was a month shy of his twenty-second birthday, an accomplished professional, and yet a part of him still felt all of that awkward lonely sixteen-year-old, afraid of being rejected by the girl he loved. _It was bloody ridiculous! Pull yourself together, Snape. _

Vi brought another plate to the table, this one had homemade lemon bars on it. "Have a lemon bar, Sev."

"I'm never going to eat dinner if you keep feeding me, Vi," Severus said, but then he took one anyway. Vi's desserts were fabulous.

Vi watched him unobtrusively, she could tell he was nervous by the way he ran his hand through his hair, try though he did to seem nonchalant. She knew him too well, there had been times during his childhood that she felt he was as much her son as Eileen's, he was over the house so much. There would always be a soft spot in her heart for the shy little boy who had first shown up on her doorstep, his hair hanging in his eyes, saying softly, "Hi, I'm Sev Snape. Can Lily come out and play?" So she decided to give him some advice, much as Eileen might have if she were there.

"You know, Sev, I'm glad you're taking Lily out tonight. She deserves a break from Harry and you deserve a break too from your practice. I know it can be very trying at times, with the amount of patients you see."

"It can be at times," he agreed. "As a Healer, your time is not your own. There are days I eat, sleep, and breathe my Healer's Oath, Vi. But I knew that when I took it, so I shouldn't complain."

"Why not? A little complaining is good for the soul." Severus had always been one to bear his hurts silently, she thought, another legacy of Tobias Snape's harsh discipline. At his half-smile, she continued, "James was just the opposite of you, Sev. If he didn't like something, the whole world knew it. And sometimes he could be very . . .cavalier . . .about other people's feelings. He had a tendency to speak without thinking. Don't get me wrong, I loved my son-in-law, but he wasn't what I was expecting Lily to bring home." She gave Severus a pointed look.

He nearly choked on his tea. "You mean me, don't you?"

Vi smiled warmly. "Yes. I could see you adored her, Sev, even if you couldn't say it."

"She was better off with James. He could give her what I couldn't."

"Money-wise, you mean?"

Severus nodded tightly. "First year of my practice, I worked out of St. Mungos and barely made ends meet. I wouldn't have wanted Lily to live through that."

"And was that why you never told her how you felt?" Vi inquired gently.

"Partly." He shifted uncomfortably.

"James might have had money, Sev, but that didn't make him better than you."

"He loved Lily."

"True, but at first I think he loved the idea of her and not her as a person. That came later. But you, you loved her as a friend and then a woman, and you still do."

Severus nodded.

"Sev, I'm going to tell you something your mother probably would've if she were here now. You need to tell Lily how you really feel. I know it's hard, trusting another with your inner feelings, but Lily won't hurt you like Tobias did."

He looked startled at that. "You know then? About how he was a nasty bugger?"

"Yes. But you never wanted to talk about it, so I let it go. But I could see the signs as well as anyone, Sev. He hurt you badly, son, but you can't let that cripple you for the rest of your life. You're stronger than that, Master Healer Snape. Take a chance with my Lily. You won't regret it."

"I know, Vi. But will she?"

"Will I what?" Lily asked, coming into the kitchen.

Severus glanced up and an appreciative smile quirked up the corner of his mouth. She was dressed in a soft emerald green pantsuit with tiny golden bells about the collar that tinkled softly as she walked. She had put up her hair, leaving only a few fiery tendrils to curl about her shoulders, and her lips were accentuated by a touch of mauve lipstick.

"You look beautiful, Lil," he said softly, and in his dark eyes was an unmistakable longing.

"Thanks, Sev. You look great too." She eyed him up and down, and he blushed. She laughed. She loved that about him, that quality of uncertain innocence, because it meant that the trauma of his childhood had not scarred him irrevocably. He had learned how to hide what he felt, but not to feel nothing. "Shall we go?"

Severus nodded and stood up, holding an arm out for Lily to grasp. He turned to Vi and said, "Thank you for the lemon bar, Vi. It was delicious."

"You're welcome, dear. Have a good time, you two. Don't worry about Harry, Lil, he's usually an angel for us."

Lily laughed. "Really, Mum? Wish he was that way for me."

"I'm a grandma, Lil. Kids always behave better for us. Enjoy your movie and your dinner." She waved them off, and an instant later, the two vanished in a flash of blue light as they Apparated to _Twilight Whispers_ a wizarding restaurant that had live entertainment and a fine cuisine as well.

* * * * * *

After a fine meal of veal Marsala served over a bed of linguini, which was made for two people, and a scrumptious strawberry parfait, Severus and Lily walked the three blocks to the street that led out of the wizarding side of London and into the Muggle section, which was where they were going to see the movie. The night was cool and clear, and they strolled along casually, since they had an hour or so before the movie began.

The simple act of walking relieved Severus of much of the tension he had been feeling, until he was able to take Lily's hand and hold it as they walked, much as he used to do in those long ago days at Hogwarts.

She smiled up at him, her beautiful evergreen eyes sparkling brighter than the stars overhead. "It's a beautiful night, Sev. I couldn't have magicked up a better one."

"I know. It's a perfect night to take a walk. How did you like your dinner?"

"It was wonderful. But then, so was the company."

"Glad to hear that." He breathed an invisible sigh of relief. At least he hadn't bored her to death by reminiscing about their shared childhood. "I thought you might have gotten sick of remembering that time when you turned Tuney's hair bright blue and she had to walk around with a kerchief until it wore off."

"No, and unfortunately, Tuney's never forgotten it either. I think that's one reason she rarely speaks to me. Because I was the cause of her sixth grade humiliation."

Severus rolled his eyes. "She's still harping on that, is she? Tell her to get over herself, Lily. That was, what, ten years ago? Nowadays, her hair color would have fit right in," he gestured at the group of teens they were walking past, and all of them had dyed their hair in a variety of shades, including electric blue.

Lily laughed, for she could just imagine what Petunia would have said to that typical Snape comment. "Do you remember all the crazy hairstyles she used to try out? She had all those hair magazines and every week she was trying something new." Petunia had been very fashion conscious as a teenager, always trying to keep up with the latest styles.

"I remember that awful beehive one, it looked like she had a helmet on her head," Severus recalled.

"Oh yes, and she thought she looked just brilliant." Lily chuckled. Petunia, bossy vain Petunia, had never lost an opportunity to point out others shortcomings, especially her little sister's and her charity case friend, as she snidely referred to Severus. "Remember how she said my hair looked like a rat's nest and yours like some scruffy dog's compared to hers? And you got mad and told her you were going to summon some bees to make a real hive in her hair unless she shut up?"

Severus nodded, his dark eyes glinting with suppressed mirth. "And she started yelling, 'Snape, you do any of that creepy magic and I'm telling my mother! Get away from me, freak!' She really believed I knew a spell to summon bees, the silly twit." For weeks afterwards, when Petunia had started getting all snotty and trying to order them around, the two had only to pretend to gesture and make a buzzing noise and the haughty teen would turn pale and run the other way.

"She never could stand bees after that," Lily recalled, smirking mischievously. "Remember the time she got stuck watching us because Mum and Dad had to go to the hospital to visit my aunt who'd had a heart attack?"

"Was that the time she locked us in the basement because we wouldn't be her servant?"

"Yes. She was so mad she had to stay home with us instead of going to the cinema with all her friends." Lily shook her head. Petunia could hold a grudge with the best of them, and since she couldn't take out her bad mood on her parents, she had resorted to making Sev and Lily suffer instead.

"That was the time I threatened to burn the door down if she didn't let us out. I think I did light the door on fire a little," Severus said, for even at eight, his accidental magic was very strong.

"It would have served her right if you _had_ burned the door down, the little dictator," Lily snorted. "And what about the 'Pig Face' spell?" She began to laugh, for that had been the best prank of all.

* * * * * *

They had been eleven and Petunia fourteen, and the older girl had been vain beyond bearing, always checking her appearance in a mirror twelve times a day at least, and looking down at Severus because he always looked so scruffy, he never had money to get a proper hair cut, and his clothes were usually worn and secondhand because Tobias drank away all the money Eileen made for household expenses.

"How can you stand to be friends with that slimy Snape, Lils?" she used to ask her sister. "Is it out of pity? Because you could always give him a ten pound note and send him away to buy normal clothes and take a bath. They've got relief programs for kids like him, you know."

"Severus is not a charity case, Tuney! It's not his fault his dad's a bounder who drinks and doesn't have a job."

"Humph! Best you watch your step, Lily. That Snape is no good, that kind of thing runs in the blood. Mark me, he'll turn out a deadbeat just like his old man someday." Petunia had sniffed self-righteously.

"That's a lie, Tuney! Sev's _nothing_ like his father. You'd know that if you ever quit admiring yourself in the mirror and got to know normal people," Lily defended her friend hotly.

"Normal people? Like you and your freaky friends? The only thing normal about you is our parents. Sometimes I doubt you're my sister. Maybe Mum and Dad found you on the doorstep as a baby, that would explain a lot."

"Shut up, Petunia! You think you're so perfect, but you're not!" Lily shouted, losing her temper. "You're nothing but a pig in human shape!" She had pointed her wand at Petunia's mirror, and suddenly Petunia's reflection disappeared, to be replaced by a pig's wide face. "See? Even the mirror knows the truth."

Petunia had gazed upon the mirror in horror. "Make it go away! Lily, make it go _a-awa-a-y_! I'm not a pig! Oh good Lord, _look_ at me! I've got a pig face!"

She had rushed into the bathroom to examine herself, and discovered to her horror that the bathroom mirror also showed her with a pig's face. "Oh MY Gawd! I'm a pig! A stinking filthy PIG! Lily, change me back! Please?"

Lily had sniffed at her and said, "Can't. It'll just have to wear off."

"Wear OFF! But . . .but Lily, you can't leave me this way! My friends, my boyfriend Josh . . .what will they _think_?" Petunia wailed.

"That you're a pig face," Lily had remarked cooly, for little did Tuney realize that the spell was only upon mirrors, not upon her personally. "I think it's an improvement."

"Lily Ann Evans, you take this . . .magic off me this instant!"she had screeched. "Or I'm telling Mum you were using magic on me outside of school."

So Lily had taken the spell off, because she did not want to get into that much trouble, fun as it was to get her arrogant sister's goat. But she told Severus about it the next day, and he had laughed so hard he nearly cried. And when he came over that afternoon and Petunia had opened the door, he had said, "Hello, Pig Face. Mud's great for the complexion, huh?"

And Petunia had screeched, "OOOh, I HATE you, Severus Snape!" and slammed the door in his face.

Lily had heard, however, and come down to let him in, apologizing for her sister.

"Don't worry, Lil. It's expected, she's got the manners of a pig," Severus said slyly, and the two had dissolved into giggles.

* * * * * *

"Those were the days, huh, Sev? Us against Tuney," Lily said, sharing a conspiratorial grin with her best friend, then, now, and always.

"We were a couple of annoying brats, but we had fun," Severus chuckled. "And Tuney always brought it on herself, for acting like she was the queen of the bloody universe." Those times had been one of the few good memories he had of his childhood. The rest of it had been one long dark saga of despair and pain and suffering. Tobias had been his own personal devil, until Severus had gone away to school and met Sirius, James, and Remus, who also offered him friendship and sanctuary at their houses once they learned what his home life was like from Lily, so for a few weeks in the summer he didn't need to endure his father's unpredictable temper and the man's heavy hand.

Severus shook his head, banishing the dark thoughts to the back of his head. He did not want to think about that, not now. All he wanted right then was to enjoy this evening with Lily. They had reached the cinema, and he quickly went to the ticket counter to purchase their tickets.

* * * * * *

Afterwards, they walked back to the wizard side of London leisurely, pausing on one of the bridges that overlooked the Thames to gaze out at the midnight water, that glistened from all the lights reflected in its depths.

"What a fantastic night," Lily murmured, turning to look up at her silent partner.

"Yes."

"Sev? Is something the matter? You're more quiet than usual."

"That's because I'm thinking."

"Dare I ask about what?"

"You."

Lily arched an eyebrow. "What about me, Sev?"

He took a breath, calling upon all the courage he possessed, and then he said, "I was thinking about how much I envied James for having what I always wanted. Not his money or his mansion or his looks, but you. You were always . . .I have always . . .loved you, Lily. I just never knew how to say it. So I . . .said nothing. And James did, and so you married him." He took another deep breath. "I would have kept silent forever had James lived, but now . . .now things are different. And I want you to know the truth, Lily. I have always loved you. And I will never stop loving you."

Lily put her hands on his shoulders, and tilted her face up to him. "Oh, Sev. I never knew. If I had . . ."

"You would have had to choose." Severus said softly.

"No. For there would have been no choice. I thought James was a fairytale prince, Sev, but fairytales don't last. I learned that six months after we were married, and he was away more than he was home, obsessed with defeating Voldemort. He was home for Harry's birth because I insisted, but afterwards, back he went to the hunt. I loved him dearly, but I always knew I took second place to his quest for glory. That would have never been the case with you, Sev."

"No. You would have always been first with me," he said, and one hand came up to caress her hair. She leaned into his caress, and he cupped her face in his hands and kissed her the way he had dreamed of doing.

Slowly, with exquisite tenderness that nevertheless managed to steal the breath from her body.

She put her arms about him, deepening the kiss, and for the first time felt the all-consuming desire the poets Keats and Byron spoke of. Oh, she had felt passion with James, but never like this.

This was true magic.

A magic as old as time, as powerful as the earth, as eternal as the heavens.

Lily kissed him back ardently, reveling in this wonderful new feeling.

_So this is what it means to be first. Dear sweet Merlin!_

Severus reveled in that kiss, which was at once gentle and wild, and for the first time in his life he allowed his emotions to overrule his head and simply allowed himself to _feel_.

Kissing Lily was agony and ecstasy all rolled into one, a joy so great it hurt, and despite the sweet misery he never wanted it to end. He had dreamed of this moment for so long, but the reality eclipsed his wildest imaginings. Nothing could have prepared him for the emotions aroused by that first kiss.

He hadn't intended to do more than test the waters tonight, but his heart had other plans, and he found himself surrendering willingly to the tide and letting passion sweep him away, to a place he had seen only in dreams, but had never known, until now.

Paradise.

**So how was that for a romantic ending to an evening?**

Next: Sev begins to court Lily in earnest.


	9. Frost Faire

**Frost Faire**

Along about a week later, a cold snap struck London and temperatures plummeted and everything froze, including the Thames, for the first time in a decade. Icicles coated the trees and lamp posts and the gates of all the private residences. Slick patches of ice formed upon the sidewalks and streets, resulting in more than few accidents, both with cars and pedestrians slipping and falling. Even so, most of the Londoners enjoyed the rare spate of frost and snow, for the Christmas season was nigh and the snow reminded them all of Father Christmas, snowmen, hot cocoa, carols, and hot toddies.

In the wizarding side of London, Healer Snape and Healer Morgan were kept busy prescribing cold remedies, muscle salves, and mending the occasional broken bone and sprained wrist or ankle from a child or elderly person falling down ice-coated stairs or a cobblestone path.

Even so, Severus managed to find time from his rather busy schedule to see Lily once or twice a week.

Once he had admitted that he loved her, he was no longer hesistent to court her, to use an old-fashioned phrase of Albus's. Sometimes he took her out to dinner, other times they stayed home at her house with Harry and watched old movies, Lily loved sappy old romances like _An Affair To Remember_ with Cary Grant, and Severus humored her by watching them.

In truth, he could have cared less what they watched, so long as Lily was next to him. The smell of her hair, like mangos and lime, mingled with that of her favorite perfume _Wildberry Witch_, and made him long to bury his hands in her hair and kiss her until she was breathless. Several times.

But he contented himself with putting an arm about her and kissing her gently upon the mouth once. And she smiled at him, her sweet brilliant smile, and kissed him back. Then she ate some popcorn and fed him some as well, laughing when he nibbled gently on her fingers.

"Behave, Mr. Snape!"

"I am. Otherwise I'd be doing somethingmuch more scandelous, my love." He began to play with a lock of her hair teasingly.

She grinned and lay down with her head in his lap, giving him tacit permission to play with her hair, knowing how much he loved caressing her hair.

Pretty soon caressing her hair turned to kissing and it was with regret that they finally halted, for neither would go any further until they were engaged, both Lily and Severus were old-fashioned that way, and believed that commitment should preceed any kind of lovemaking. It drove them both crazy, but in the end Lily knew it would be worth it, for the waiting simply made the first time much sweeter.

"You are extremely lucky, little flower, that I have such self-control," Sev gasped, drawing away from her with obvious reluctance.

"So are you, mister," she smirked. "For there is nothing I would like more than to drag you to bed right now."

"Oh? Then why don't you?"

"Sev! You wicked thing!" She smacked him playfully on the arm. "You know perfectly well why not."

"Because you love to torture me," he groaned. "I'm torturing myself as well, you sexy thing," she chuckled. Then she glanced at the TV. "Oh, it's my favorite part! When he proposes to her on top of the Empire State Building!"

Severus wondered if he ought to do that. Then he recalled something he had seen in the paper the other day while he was reading over some charts in the office. "Lily, how would you like to go ice skating and attend the Frost Faire this weekend? I just saw an ad in The Prophet for it. Since the Thames has frozen over, they've decided to host a Frost Faire."

"What's a Frost Faire, Sev?"

"It's an old tradition, dating back to the time of Henry VIII and Queen Elizabeth I. The Muggles back then used to hold a kind of faire when the first frost of the season came and froze over the river. They'd have ice skating and sell hot drinks and food and other small trinkets. We wizards adopted the tradition, so to speak, and sometimes if the Ministry permits, we hold one of our own and celebrate the coming of winter and the holidays. Would you like to go?"

Lily thought for a moment. "Yes, I would." Then she frowned. "But we'd have to take Harry, Sev. My parents are going to visit my sister in Surrey this weekend and I don't dare let Harry go with them. You know how Tuney feels about magic and her fat husband Vernon is even worse." She scowled angrily.

"That's all right, Lil. Harry should get used to doing things with us together. That way, when we're engaged, it won't seem as much of a shock. Besides, I think the faire has games for little ones too and we can always teach him how to skate."

She shot him an arch look. "Think you still remember how, Sev? Last time you ended up in a snowbank."

"I was twelve, Lily. I think I've learned a few things since then," he said, pretending to be offended.

"We'll see,won't we?"

"Yes. If I remember correctly, you nearly broke your ankle trying to do a flip like that American skater. . . the gold medalist . . .Dorothy Hamil, wasn't that her name?"

Lily made a face at him. "You never forget anything, do you, Sev?"

He shook his head. "No. I have a photographic memory. It can be both a blessing and a curse." A blessing because he could recall reading or seeing something instantly, but a curse because he could also remember things he longed to forget, like what he had endured during his childhood from Tobias.

"Well, I'm a little out of practice doing triple flips, so I'll spare myself the embarrasment and just do figure eights and laybacks."

"I'm sure you're still as graceful as ever, Lily."

"Flatterer."

"Truth," he smirked, then captured her face between his hands and kissed her soundly.

* * * * * *

The morning of the Frost Faire dawned chilly and clear. Vendors started setting up their booths and sweeping the ice clear of any sprinkling of snow, creating a smooth surface for the skaters. Those wizards with a talent for snow sculpting created fanciful statues of glittering colored snow and ice of different mythical creatures and famous personages, like Merlin, Arthur pulling the sword from the stone, an ice drake with wings spread, a frost fairy with glittering butterfly wings, an ice wolf, and a snowflake that seemed to hang suspended in mid air.

A large sign stretched across the bridge said WELCOME TO THE 550TH FROST FAIRE ON THE THAMES--ALL AGES WELCOME! Many of the vendors and those who ran the games boothes were wearing combinations of white, winter blue, and silver sparkles. Some had white ermine accents and others silk, some wore belled caps and others silver tiaras.

There were games like Snowball Toss, Icicle Shoot, Spin the Fairy Wheel, Are You Stronger Than a Polar Bear?, and the Ice Drake Race.

A field further away had a snow fort set up and a playground with an ice slide and mini igloos and a cave with fluffy pillows that bounced delightfully when you jumped on them for the children.

There were small contests for the children, like the Best Snowman Contest or the Prettiest Parchment Snowflake. There were even food contests, like the Best Hot Cocoa and the Tastiest Sno-Cone and Most Wonderful Cinnamon-Sugar Pasty.

Lily made sure Harry was wearing his warmest winter snow suit and mittens and cap. He was so excited he nearly jumped out of her arms once they arrived. "Play in the snow, Mummy!"

"Just a minute, Harry," she ordered, laughing.

She set him down and he ran over to the playground and began sliding down the slide and running into the igloos, giggling with delight. There were several other children there his age and they had a wonderful time bouncing up and down on the pillows and sliding on the tiny pond on their bottoms.

Lily and Sev watched him indulgently, smiling at his antics. But after fifteen minutes, his attention wandered and he came back to them and asked Severus to help him build a snowman.

"Me? How about your mum?"

Harry shook his head. "No, Sevvy. Want you." He took Severus's black gloved hand in his own and dragged him over to the snow field.

Then they started to build a snowman, only Harry decided to build an unconventional one and gave it cat ears and whiskers and dubbed it a Snow-Kitty-man. They put a tag on it with Harry's name on it for the contest and when the judges came around, Harry won the prize for the most creative snowman, and got a purple ribbon and a large swirly lollipop coloed white, blue and violet.

Harry was ecstatic. "Mummy, we won! Harry and Sevvy won!"

Lily hugged him and said how proud she was of him. "You're so creative, Harry. Now how about you come with Mummy and Sevvy and you can learn how to skate, all right?"

"Kay." Lily conjured a pair of skates and together they taught the intrepid youngster how to glide across the ice.

It was while Lily was demonstrating her figure-eight move to Harry while he held on to Sev's hands that the scream was heard.

Severus peered around, trying to see who had screamed. "Erin! Oh, sweet Merlin! Help! She fell through the ice."

_Damn!_ Severus swore, then called to Lily. "Lily, take Harry. Someone may need my help over there."

Lily skated up and picked up Harry, while Severus swiftly skated across and down the river where a rather large crowd of people were clustered.

He found a mother standing by, hysterical, because her seven year old daughter had skated over a thinning patch of ice and fallen in the river. They had managed to get the child out of the water, but she was swiftly going into hypothermic shock. Someone had conjured warmed towels for the girl, but Severus knew she needed more than that. This was typical of his luck. He went somewhere for a relaxing time with his girlfriend and an accident occurred which he was bound to assist in.

"Excuse me. Would you move, please? I'm a Healer, now let me through." He shoved his way rather rudely through the crowd, which parted for him hastily, and then he was beside the shivering child, who was blue with cold.

"My name is Healer Snape, I can help your daughter, if you'll permit me?" he looked at the mother, who motioned her consent. Severus knelt on the ice and pointed his wand, chanting a quick diagnostic. "Hypothermia, shock, and some frostbite," he muttered, then chanted several spells to combat shock and hypothermia.

Immediately color returned to the child's waxen features and she stirred and opened her eye. "Mama?"

Severus laid a hand on her shoulder. "Lie still, little one. My name is Healer Sev, and I need to cast a few more healing charms on you."

She relaxed and murmured, 'I'm cold, Healer Sev."

"I know, that's why I need to warm you up." He quickly cast a Toasty Warm Charm, then summoned his bag of potions and gave her a Pepper-Up potion, whose steam would warm her insides and prevent her from taking cold from her ducking in the icy Thames. He also gave her a draft to prevent congestion in her lungs then pronounced her out of danger, levitated her up and handed her to her mother. "You should keep her in bed for the rest of today and give her hot soup and a light supper. If she develops a fever or starts coughing, call me. Otherwise, she should be fine." He handed the relieved woman his card.

"Thank you, Healer." The woman was saying, tears in her eyes. "She means the world to me."

"You're welcome. Take care now." The woman and her daughter Apparated away, and Severus turned to go back to Lily when he heard another scream ring out.

_Oh, for the love of Merlin, what now_?

"Run! They've come for us!" Immediately there was a stampede across the ice, as people scattered in all directions, fleeing the sudden appearance of five black-robed iron masked men, who were shooting curses in all directions and laughing.

Severus went pale. Then he shouted, "Lily! Take Harry and get out of here! NOW!"

He spun around, wand out, an Entrapment Web Charm on his tongue, ready to hex the nearest Death Eater.

The followers of Voldemort had come to crash the Frost Faire.

Slowly, the tallest turned to face the physician, and cried, "Well, well, look who it is. If it isn't Healer Snape, the witch doctor who murdered for his Healer's Oath. Fancy meeting you here. I hope you've prepared a will, Snape, because you'll be needing it. Give my regards to God when you see Him, Master Healer!"

Then he shot a red bolt of fire directly at Severus.


	10. You Are My Life

**You Are My Life**

The fire hex sped towards Severus with the speed of an express train. He had barely a few seconds in which to react, but due to his year of training at the Auror Academy, he was not caught flatfooted. He didn't bother casting a spell to repel, instead he dropped to the ice and let the hex sail harmlessly over him.

Then he cast a spell of his own, the Entrapment Web, which caused several sticky purple strands to shoot out of his wand and enwrap his chosen target, the Death Eater who had shot the fire hex, in a large purple web. The harder the recipient struggled, the tighter the web became, and if they struggled too hard, the web would cut off their circulation or breathing for a short time, incapacitating them and knocking them out.

As a certified Healer, Severus was forbidden to use his magic to kill unless it were a matter of life and death, his Healer's Oath was the equivalent of an Unbreakable Vow. But he could use his magic in other ways to bind and hold, disarm or disable.

"Let's kill the son-of-a-bitch, Dolohov!" snarled one of the taller Death Eaters. "We'll teach him what it means to slaughter the Dark Master." he sent a Withering Curse at Severus, but Severus deflected it and cast a spell called Ice Serpent.

The ice suddenly cracked and reformed into a giant frost colored snake formed entirely of ice and water, it hissed and wrapped about Dolohov and began to squeeze the man hard. Dolohov screamed and his wand fell from his fingers.

_Two down and three to go. Not bad for a former Auror trainee, _Severus thought, pleased, but he whirled to face the three others, thankful that at least Lily and Harry were well out of danger.

* * * * * *

At Severus's warning cry, Lily had immediately scooped up Harry. She saw the first of the Death Eaters descend upon the fairgrounds and felt a terrible fear engulf her for about ten seconds. In the next instant she reacted, and Apparated away to Auror Headquarters, Harry clutched tightly in her arms.

She burst into the building, which was right across from the Ministry of Magic Headquarters, and cried, "I'm Lily Potter and this is a Priority One Alert! Death eaters have attacked the Frost Faire! You need to send a team out immediately! Tell Captain Moony!"

The Auror on duty, a young man who looked just out of the Academy blinked and hit a crystal knob on his desk. "Priority One Alert, Lieutenant Lupin!" Then he looked at Lily and said, "The Captain isn't here right now, he's off investigating a case. But one of our senior pairs is, that'd be Lupin and Black, ma'am."

"I know who they are, they're my friends," Lily said, patting Harry, who started to sniffle.

"Mummy, where's Sevvy?"

"It's okay, Harry. Sevvy will be all right," Lily whispered, fear surging up in her throat again. _I hope. Oh God, Sev, please be all right. Why didn't you run? You're a Healer, for Merlin's sake and they're murderers. How long d'you think you can last if you can't kill?_

She glanced about the stark wood paneled waiting area, with its plain white chairs and the desk the young Auror was manning.

Seconds later, a door behind the desk burst open and Remus came through, wearing a blue and gold set of robes with a staff and crossed sword crest upon them, the symbol of the Aurors. The werewolf's eyes were shifting from brown to gold as he fought to control his were nature.

"Lily! What's the matter?"

"Remus, Death Eaters came to the Frost Faire, I was there with Sev and Harry, I took Harry away, but Sev stayed to fight them. Please, you've got to hurry, I don't know how long he can hold them off, people were going crazy."

Remus swore softly and called, "Sirius, move your blinking arse, mate! We got to go rescue Sev!"

Sirius came through the door a moment later. He too was in uniform, a grim look on his face. "From what, sir?"

"Death Eaters."

"Bleeding goddamn cock--" he broke off the rest of what he was about to say, recalling that there was a lady and a baby present. "Okay, Lupin. Let's go."

"Wait. I'm coming too." Lily said.

"What?" Sirius looked at her as if she had gone insane.

"Lily, you can't. What about Harry?" Remus cried.

"I'll watch him," came a third voice, and a woman with brown hair and purple eyes stepped from another side door. She was slightly smaller than her male counterparts, but no less deadly.

"Thanks, Alice." Lily said gratefully. "Harry, go with Auntie Alice, okay?" She made as if to hand the child to the Auror, who was also her best friend, Alice Longbottom.

"No, want Sevvy!" Harry wailed. He began to bawl loudly.

Alice stepped up and hugged the toddler to her expertly, rubbing his back. "Hush, little one. Mummy will bring back Sevvy in a minute. Come on, let's go and play with Neville, okay?" She took the sobbing Harry away to the small daycare center that her son Neville stayed at, he was a day older than Harry.

"Thanks, Alice!" Lily called, then she Apparated away along with Sirius, Remus, Kingsley Shacklebolt, and Frank Longbottom. Before becoming a stay-at-home mother, Lily had also studied with the Aurors, so she knew her share of defense and combat spells.

Back at the Frost Faire there was utter pandemonium.

People were knocked down and some were trampled as they sought to flee from the worst group of dark wizards ever to roam Great Britain. Most had thought the reign of terror the Death Eaters spread was ended after the death of their leader. But evil never truly dies, it simply sleeps, biding its chance to return and wreak havoc once more.

Severus backed slowly across the ice, for the three original foes now had been joined by three more, they had been further away, hexing some luckless vendors and blowing up the children's playground. He swiftly chanted a Null Magic Globe, one of the strongest defense spells in his arsenal. The pulsing screen of anti-magic surrounded him.

It would repel any magic save Avada Kedavra. The globe was a spell known only to Healers, and they used it as a last resort, for it cost a great deal of energy to cast and once the globe was up, the caster could not use his wand until the spell faded.

Severus wished he could cast it over all of the bystanders, some of whom had been hit by curses by the Death Eaters. But the Globe was a personal spell only.

Severus could feel the curses of the dark wizards strike the globe and fizzle and die, or were absorbed by the rainbowed light. It was temporary measure, a way to buy time until the Aurors arrived. He hoped Lily had gone to summon them, or someone else had.

About him, people screamed and sobbed, possessed by dreadful fear, for they had assumed the Death Eaters were destroyed or captured when Voldemort fell. But they were many and they hid like rats and the Auror Department had not been able to find them all. Now they had returned, to spread chaos and death once more, such was their main goal in life.

Severus heard a series of sharp pops and knew that the Aurors had finally arrived.

Just in time too, for his Globe was beginning to thin.

"Hey, scumbag! Why don't you try me on for size?" cried a voice Severus knew well.

"About time, Padfoot!" he cried, without turning around. He could not see out of the globe, but he could hear what was going on.

"Yeah, well better late than never, huh, Snape?" Sirius called, then cast a Blasting Curse at the nearest foe.

Severus felt the ground tremble as the curse struck, lifting the surprised Death Eater off his feet and sending him careening through the air.

The Globe shivered and then faded abruptly, and Severus could see once more.

Arrayed in front of him were Remus, Sirius, Frank Longbotom, Shacklebolt and .. ."Lily! What the bloody blazes are _you_ doing here, woman?"

She did not turn away, but said only, "What's it look like, Snape? I'm kicking some evil bastard's arse!" Then she fired off a Burning Hex, and another Death Eater fell.

Before Severus could protest further, a dark wizard flew at him, though he summoned a quick Wind Gust and sent the masked intruder flying into the side of a bridge piling. He hit the ground and lay still.

Then he whirled around to see if his friends needed any help, but Moony and Padfoot were experienced in combat and so too were Shacklebolt and Longbottom. Furious as he was at Lily, he could not help but admire her courage and her spell casting, she was nearly as skilled as the Aurors. _As well she ought to be, sev. The only reason she never graduated the Academy was because she got pregnant with Harry._

Within a matter of minutes, the Death Eaters were all either dead, arrested, or had managed to get away.

Severus felt the terror constricting his chest evaporate. Then, before either of his friends could say anything, he strode over to Lily and picked her up and shook her. "How _dare _you risk yourself, Lily Ann Evans....I mean Potter! I told you to leave with Harry, not come back here."

"Severus Snape, put me down! I chose to come back and help you." She glared up at him angrily.

"You could have been killed!" he exploded. "Name of Merlin, Lily! If you had died . . .You are my _life_, don't you see that?"

"Sev, I'm not a child, I don't need protection. I can fight my own battles. You needn't play the heroic fiancee and sacrifice yourself for me either! You're _my_ life too, you stubborn boneheaded wizard! I've already lost one man I love to them," she spat on the ground. "I'll be damned if I'm going to lose another. Never ever again, d'you hear?"

She reached out and threw her arms about him, and he hugged her hard.

"Never ever risk your life for me again," they said in practically the same breath.

Then Severus's mouth was on hers and he was kissing her with a passion born of relief and anger. He couldn't seem to help himself, it didn't matter if his friends and everyone else was staring. His near brush with death had made him see just how precious Lily was, and he just wanted to hold her and never let go.

Lily kissed him back with equal fervor, unmindful of the crowd gathering about them. Sev was safe, Harry was safe, and that was all that mattered right then. Well that and the feel of Severus lean muscled arms about her and his lips on hers.

"Ahem! Earth to Sev and Lily!" Remus coughed pointedly. "We need you two lovebirds down at Headquarters to give us statements, so could you please shelve the public display of affection?"

"Aww, leave 'em be, Moony." Sirius snickered. "I'd be doing the same thing if I had my girl here."

Remus just rolled his eyes at his best friend's easygoing nature. Sirius was a firm believer in love anytime, and had left a trail of disappointed women in his wake, for he liked variety and could never stay with one woman for long.

"Severus! You going for a world record or something, buddy?" Remus reached out and shook his friend's shoulder.

Severus growled something unintelligible before drawing away from Lily. "Remus, leave me the hell alone!"

"Sorry, no can do. Let's go back to headquarters, you can give us your statement and there's a certain little boy who was crying for you."

At that Severus gave in. Statement be damned, Harry crying was far more important. "You left him at headquarters?"

" Yes, with Alice. Come on, let's do this and get it over with. Bloody Death Eaters, ruining our outing. I wish I could make them all die a slow and painful death." And with that, she stepped free of Sev's embrace and Apparated back to Headquarters.

Hot on her heels were Severus, Remus, and Padfoot.

After they had given their statements, Lily went to fetch Harry from the playroom. She found her son happily playing with a set of wooden blocks that laughed when you picked them up.

"Harry, it's time to go," she called. Then she smiled down at Alice's little boy, Neville. "Hi, Nev. How are you doing?"

The little brown-haired boy looked up at her with wide frightened eyes, he was extremely shy, and sniffed, "Hawwy bited me." He pointed to a red mark on his chubby arm.

Lily knelt to examine it, and saw to her dismay that it was indeed a bite mark. "Oh, Nev, I'm so sorry, honey!" She hugged the little boy, then turned to her son, who had looked up at her happily, but quickly realized he was in trouble when he saw the stern angry look on his mother's face, and his lower lip trembled. "Harry James Severus, what have I told you about biting?"

"Not s'posed to," the toddler murmured, hanging his head. "It's bad."

"Then why did you bite Neville?" Lily demanded, her hands on her hips.

"Cause he had my block."

"Harry, these toys are not yours. They belong to the center. Besides, you're supposed to be nice and share your toys, right?"

Her son's expression grew stubborn and his bottom lip stuck out. "Didn't want to! Mine, Mummy!"

"No, Harry. That was very naughty, to not share and then to bite Neville. I'm very disappointed in you. You don't bite, young man!" Lily scolded. "When we go home you're getting hot sauce in your mouth and a five minute time out too."

Harry began to wail. "Nooo! I be good! No-o-o hot stuff n' time out, Mummy!"

Lily ignored him and picked him up. "Say sorry and bye to Neville."

Harry sobbed out an apology and waved. Lily marched out the door with him, exasperated at her son's behavior. Harry's biting was beginning to be a real problem. He had bitten her, his grandmother, grandfather, and Sirius and now Neville as well.

When Harry saw Severus he immediately reached out his arms, howling, "Sevvy! Want you!"

"Don't think he's going to save you, young man." Lily said, but gave the child to the Healer anyway.

"What's all the fuss, scamp?" Severus asked, hugging the child to him.

"Don' want no time out!" Harry bawled, burying his face in Sev's shoulder.

"What did you do to get a time out, Harry?" asked Severus.

But the little boy refused to answer, so Lily did. "He bit Neville and wouldn't share his toys." She gave Alice an apologetic look. "I'm so sorry, Alice. I don't know what gets into him."

"It's all right, Lil. It's a stage, Nev went through it too. Did he break the skin?"

"No,thank Merlin." Lily sighed, shaking her head. "I really should be going. Thank you for watching him, Alice."

"Anytime, Lily. Bye."

She waved as the two Apparated back to the Potter residence.

Once they were home, Lily wasted no time in punishing her son.

Harry clung to Severus, but the Healer scolded him as well and surrendered him to his mother, who took a small bottle of tabasco sauce from the fridge, and rubbed some on Harry's tongue. "That's what happens when you bite, Harry James Severus."

Harry bawled. "Hot! Yuck!" He tried to spit it out, but the tabasco sauce clung to his tongue and stung.

Lily counted to thirty before she allowed Harry to drink some water and eat a piece of bread to rid himself of the peppery taste.

"Harry sorry, Mummy," he sniffled.

"I know, but you're still getting a time out," she said firmly, picking him up.

At that, Harry struggled, screeching, but Lily had him tucked under an arm and in two seconds he found himself sitting on a little stool facing a corner. "Sit still, Harry."

But Harry detested time out and always fought like the devil. "No! NO!"

He tried to get off the stool, but Lily caught him and put him back. "Harry, no moving or else you get another minute."

"No, go way! Mean!" he sat still for about a minute, then squirmed and hopped up from the stool and tried to escape.

This time Severus caught him. "Oh no you don't, boy! You listen to your mother."

Harry screamed, "No! Put me down, Sevvy! Bad! No time out!" Then he tried to bite Severus.

Severus was used to children trying to bite him, however, and pulled his hand away just in time. "No biting, young man!" He gave the squirming naughty child a swat on the backside before depositing him back on the stool in the corner and holding him by the shoulders.

The toddler howled, kicked, and squirmed to no avail.

"Sev, he bit you too?"

"No. He tried to, but I was too quick." replied the Master Helaer over Harry's wails.

They made the misbehaving child stay in the corner for six minutes then released him. Both Lily and Sev hugged him afterwards, told him they forgave him, and Harry promised he would be good.

"I think he needs a long nap, Sev." Lily said.

"Mmm, yes. So do we all."

Then Lily went into Harry's room and settled down in the rocking chair to rock and sing her baby to sleep, while Severus sat down on the couch, wishing that their day out had been a little less exciting.

When Lily returned after tucking in Harry, she found the Master Healer asleep on the couch, a peaceful expression on his face. She tenderly smoothed back his hair, kissed him, and tucked a blanket around him. Then she sat down next to him.

When Severus awoke some three hours later, he discovered a warm red-head in his arms, and smiled. Lily's face was a wonderful sight to wake up to.

**So how did you like the spells Sev used? And Lily's part? And how about Harry--the little mischief maker?**


	11. A Good Father

A Good Father

__

One week later:

"Lily just stepped out with her mother, they were going to run to the store and get some more milk, Sev, but they should be back soon," Hal told Severus when he answered the door to find the Master Healer standing on the porch. "Come on in, I'm watching Harry, the kid's been awful irritable today and I had Vi take Lily out, I think he's really getting to her."

Severus stepped inside the Evans' home, he was not wearing his Healer whites, having gone to his flat and changed into more casual wear. "Hello, Hal. Lily and I were going to see a movie after dinner." He unconsciously smoothed his blue pullover. From the den he could hear a cartoon show blaring. "Is he sick again, Hal?"

The big man shook his head. "No, I took his temperature, it was normal. This's just pure crankiness. Everyone has bad days."

Severus followed Hal into the den, where they found Harry sitting on the couch, watching _The Jetsons_. Harry glanced up when Hal entered, and whined, "Pop, I thirsty. Want some milk. Get some?"

Hal heaved a sigh. Clearly this question had been asked multiple times already. "Harry, we don't have any milk right now, your mum and Gran went to get some from the store, remember?"

Harry scowled mulishly. "I want milk!"

"Hey, scamp, what's all this?" Severus demanded, coming into the den.

Harry immediately quit scowling and smiled instead. "Sevvy!" he shrieked, and jumped off the couch and ran to hug Severus about the leg. He held his arms up. "Up, Sevvy!"

"How do you ask, Mr. Potter?" the Master Healer demanded with a touch of sternness.

"Pease, Sevvy pick me up!"

"All right, Harry." Severus scooped the toddler into his arms, and let Harry throw his arms about his neck and kiss his cheek.

"Love my Sevvy," Harry whispered, his green eyes glowing.

Severus smiled down at the heartwarming little brat and whispered, "Love my Harry too." He drew his wand and cast a quick diagnostic on the child, just to make sure Harry wasn't coming down with something. But the seventeen-month-old was physically healthy as a horse, Hal had been right when he had said Harry's attitude was just plain crabbiness. "Why are you giving your grandpa a hard time, scamp?"

"'Cause. I want milk, Sevvy, an' he-" Harry pointed at Hal. "-won't give me it."

"Because he has none for you, Harry," Severus explained patiently.

"Sevvy get me some?" he flashed the Healer one of his patented puppy dog looks, all big pleading eyes and pouting lower lip.

The Healer nodded. Then he summoned a carton of milk from his own refrigerator. He then called up a sippy cup and poured the milk into it and handed it to Harry. "There, here's your milk. What do you say?"

"Thanks." Harry drank some milk, then turned to Hal and said, "Sevvy's best, Pop, not _you_!"

Hal blinked at his little grandson's declaration, inclined to shrug it off as a mere bad mood. But Severus was appalled at the way Harry behaved and he scowled down on the child. "Harry James Severus, you do _not_ talk like that to your grandpa. Now say you're sorry."

Harry blinked and sniffled at the harsh tone, he hated it when his Sevvy was mad. But he wasn't prepared to apologize either and he shook his head firmly and cried, "No! I not sorry!"

Severus narrowed his eyes. "Would you like me to make you sorry, young man? One."

Harry wailed. "No! No count!" He knew that if three was reached, he was in time-out.

"Then tell your grandpa you're sorry."

Harry began to cry.

"Two. I'm waiting, young man." Severus prompted, turning the boy about to face Hal.

Harry hiccupped, his nose dripping, mixing with the tears on his face. "'Kay. I sorry, Pop."

"Thank you," Hal said quietly, and fished out a handkerchief and wiped the mess off Harry's face. "See what I mean? He's in a mood today."

The little boy hid his face in Snape's shoulder, crying. "Sevvy mad?"

Severus rubbed his back, murmuring, "Not now, scamp. I forgive you. Hush." He walked over to the couch and sat down with the toddler in his lap, hugging him until Harry stopped crying. "Have you put him down for a nap?"

Hal shook his head. "I tried, but he refused to go to sleep. Spent ten minutes howling like he was being tortured. I couldn't take it after that and I took him out of there. Probably a mistake, I know I should have left him and he would have cried himself to sleep, but I hate it when kids cry."

"That's probably why he's cranky," Severus remarked, shifting Harry slightly. He began patting the child's back and humming softly. Harry squirmed, fighting the urge to sleep.

"No-o-o! No nap!"

"Shhh. Put your head down," the Healer ordered, gently pushing the boy's head down. "There's a good boy."

Harry fussed, and Severus gave him a warning tap on the bottom and said in a tone that brooked no nonsense, "Harry, stop it! Lie still." He knew that once he got the little one to stop moving, he would be tired enough to fall asleep.

Harry obeyed, recognizing that Sev meant business. Sure enough, as soon as he was still his eyes closed and within five minutes he was fast asleep on Severus' shoulder, his thumb in his mouth.

"Looks like you've got the magic touch, Sev," Hal chuckled. "No pun intended."

Severus flushed, he was unused to being praised by an older man, especially one like Hal, whom he respected. His father had never praised him for anything, only criticized and smacked him when he didn't meet Tobias's impossible standards of perfection. "He was getting tired before I got here and probably would've fallen asleep on his own." He cradled Harry against him, awash in the scent of fruity shampoo and baby powder that clung to the little boy. Harry's breath caressed his cheek, and smelled of apples. Severus remained holding him for a few minutes more, making sure he was well and truly asleep before rising and asking Hal where he could put Harry down for his nap.

"The third door on the left is the nursery," Hal pointed, and Severus walked into the room, which had giraffes and teddy bears painted on the wall, and put Harry in the small bed that was against the wall, covered in a matching print comforter. After tucking the boy in next to Smokey, his stuffed dragon, Severus slipped from the room and returned to where Hal was in the den.

Hal had already flipped the channel on the TV to a sports channel and waved Sev to a seat. "He asleep still?"

"Out like a light," Severus replied.

"Would you like something to drink, Sev? We've got soda or iced tea or lemonade, anything but milk," Hal said with a wry grin.

"Thanks, Hal. I'll have an iced tea."

Before Hal could rise, Severus summoned a glass and the iced tea to him and poured himself some.

Hal gave him a rather envious look. "You don't know how many times I wished I could do that, especially in the middle of a football game or a rugby match."

"It _does_ save time." The Healer admitted. "But it can also make you lazy, which is why I often do things the Muggle way. Force of habit, since my father never permitted me to use magic around him."

"Because of the Underage Magic Restriction?"

"Hardly. He didn't even know about that. No, he hated when I used my magic accidentally, sometimes I did things without meaning to, like summoning ten glasses off a shelf and breaking them, before I went to school and learned to control it."

"Lily did stuff like that too. Once she made my hat dance a jig. I near passed out cold."

"I'd have preferred that to what _my _father did," said Severus darkly. He winced in remembered pain and fought the urge to rub his backside, for Tobias had whipped him bloody and faint scars still remained.

"He wallop you?" Hal queried very softly.

Severus's jaw clenched and he nodded once, his eyes dark. "I was four. I had no idea what I'd done, how I'd done it, and he was drunk, got woken up, and took out his damn temper on the only person available-me."

Hal shook his head. "That's rough, Sev. No wonder you were over here more than you were home."

Severus went quiet then, staring at the TV screen in a kind of daze until he regained some semblance of control over the memories that haunted him. At last he said, "With that as an example, it makes me worry that . . .if Lily and I ever marry . . .what the hell kind of father will I make, Hal? I've got _his_ temper, you know. So far I haven't lost it yet with Harry, but someday I might and then . . .I don't want Harry to live through what I did. Always afraid, never knowing if you're going to get smacked from one minute to the next for something you never did. I promised myself after my mother died that I would never become my father, but what if I don't have a choice? What if it's . . .within me anyhow?"

Hal leaned forward, the younger man's anguished honesty touching a deep chord within him. "Sev, look at how you just handled my grandson when he acted up. Did you lose it with him then? No, you scolded him but you didn't haul off and belt him one. And you forgave him afterwards, which is the most important thing. That doesn't sound anything like the man you grew up with. Did your dad ever hug you and tell you he forgave you after he punished you?"

Severus laughed sharply. "Hell, no! Usually he just left me and went off to drink himself senseless or whatever. Tobias Snape didn't know the meaning of the word "apologize". Whenever he punished me, he thought he was doing the right thing and it was no more than I deserved. It'll be a cold day in hell before I ever hear an "I'm sorry" from the old bastard."

"And would you ever treat a son or daughter of yours like that?"

"No, not knowingly. But Hal, my temper's like a lightning bolt. If I ever snapped because of something Harry did . . .I'm afraid I wouldn't be able to help myself, that I would just start hitting and not be able to stop. It's happened before, the statistics show that those who are victims of abuse are likely to become abusers themselves . . ."

"Bollocks, Severus!" Hal said. "Statistics can be fudged, you've no way of knowing how large the sample was that they drew that study from. There's no guarantee that you'll be like your father, any more than I'm like mine. How often have you raised a hand to Harry?"

"Once, after he tried to bite me. I gave him a light swat and that was all."

"And did you say to yourself, this damn kid deserves to get his arse whipped and it's too bad I can't teach him some real manners?"

Severus shook his head. "No. I put him in time-out and I felt bad even doing that much."

Hal nodded. "There, you see. You can trust yourself to do the right thing, Sev. But I understand where you're coming from. I grew up with a strict Navy Captain as my dad, and he wasn't an alcoholic or nothin' like that, but when we got into trouble with him, he didn't hesitate to wallop our arses, me and my brothers. Whenever Mum told us "wait till your dad gets home" we knew we were going to get tanned good and proper. Most times it was just a spanking and it hurt for like a night. But the one time he caught me and my brother Andrew playing with matches . . .he made me go and cut a switch and gave me ten good ones and I still recall how much it damn hurt to this day. But I never played with matches again and that was the only time he ever switched me. And after it he held me and said he hoped like hell I'd learned my lesson and I knew he hated doing that to me, though he never admitted it. Now, based on your so-called statistics, I should have whipped Tuney's arse good for playing with my hedge clippers when she was five, right?"

"Did you?"

"Naw. I yelled at her, told her she wasn't ever to touch them, that she could cut off her finger, and I gave her six swats over my knee. One of the only times I ever lifted a hand to her or Lily. The other time was when I caught her smoking when she was ten, her and bloody Vernon Dursley. What I wouldn't have given to wallop _his_ arse . . .still can't believe she _married_ him . . ." Hal trailed off, for Petunia's choice of a husband still rankled, even after nearly two years. "My point is, Sev, is that I could have done what my dad did, and disciplined my girls same way I was disciplined, only I felt there were alternatives and better ways to let them know they'd done wrong than with my hand or a switch. I loved my dad, don't get me wrong, but as a kid I was more scared of him than anything, and I didn't want my girls being scared of me. So I scolded and grounded and took away their allowance and their phone time or whatever and it worked just as good as anything my dad ever dished out."

"Lily always said you were a good father."

Hal smiled. "Yeah, she can say that now. She sure didn't think so when she was a teenager and I wouldn't let her go out till midnight during the summer to a party at Sirius's house. Called me a bloody dictator that didn't want her to have any fun and I grounded her for the weekend for that little comment. It wasn't easy, raising those girls, there were plenty of times when they were at each other's throats and all I heard were screeching and tears and I wanted to pack up and move to Alaska. But in the end it was worth it, and I've got two fine grandsons, and my daughters still come to see me and say I'm a good father."

"I want that, Hal."

"And there's no reason you can't have it, Sev. Just make up your mind to be yourself and then go ahead and do it. Take your bloody father's ghost and kick his arse into a closet and throw away the key. Do the same thing when your temper's simmering and you won't have to worry about losing it with Harry. That's what I did."

"Thank you, Hal. I appreciate it," Severus said sincerely. "You gave me better advice than a therapist."

Hal roared with laughter. "Of course I did, boy! I'm talking from experience, not blasted books. Now, let's watch this here football game, eh?"

"All right," the Master Healer agreed, his mind much more at ease now that he had discussed this with Hal, for it had been bothering him for weeks, ever since he had started thinking seriously about buying a ring for Lily.

He had just settled down when Hal looked at him and asked slyly, "Sev, when are you going to make my Lily your wife? She's been awful patient, but I think she's starting to think maybe you're afraid of the M word."

"No, it's not that, I just . . .haven't found the right time to ask her. Or the right ring. But I'm looking and as soon as I do . . .she'll be Mrs. Severus Snape."

Hal grinned. "Now I like the sound of that. Lily Ann Snape." Then he focused on the football game, where England was playing Italy, and began telling off the referee for an unfair red card.

Severus didn't mind watching soccer, though he tended to fall asleep during the commercials.

Lily and Vi returned home to find both their men asleep in front of the telly, and the women just shook their heads and muttered, "Typical!" then they went to put their groceries away and check on Harry, who was still sound asleep, sucking his thumb.

**Well, how was that?**

Next: Sev's birthday and it's a memorable one when the Evans give a party


	12. Birthday Proposal

**Birthday Proposal**

_January 9th, 1982:_

Severus had just finished scrubbing his hands after doing a minor surgical tooth extraction on an eighty-five year-old man, his last patient of the day, when he felt the mirror in his pocket vibrate. Biting back a sigh, he pulled it out and said,"Healer Snape, how can I help you?"

Lily's face appeared in the mirror. "Sev? Sorry to call you at work, but I just wanted to remind you that my mum's invited you to dinner tonight to celebrate your birthday."

"Right, thank you for reminding me, I nearly forgot," Severus said. "I'm almost done here, I just need to change and I'll be over."

"No need to rush, love. My mum says supper isn't until six thirty," Lily said, smiling. "I'll see you soon, Sev, and happy birthday!" She blew him a kiss and then the mirror went dark.

Severus smiled, tucked the mirror back in his robe, and went to hand Mr. Ashkevron's chart to his medi-witch Janeen, so she could file it away. "Thanks, Healer Snape." She waved her wand and the chart was filed under A in the expanding magical file cabinet. "I'll finish up the disinfecting of the exam room and lock up here, sir. You just go on home and have a happy birthday, sir."

"Thank you, Janeen." He made a quick check of his office desk, seeing if there were any pending emergency cases for tomorrow, but everything was routine, and then he locked up his office with a charm and Apparated back to his flat to get showered and changed into something more comfortable before going over to the Evanses.

Ever since he had met Lily and her parents, Vi had always insisted he come and eat a birthday dinner with them, either on or near his birthday. When Eileen had been alive, she had been invited too, and they had done their best to make his birthday something to look forward to. Now, with Eileen gone and being estranged from his father, Severus appreciated Vi's thoughtfulness more than ever, since it made him feel more like part of a family.

Because it was his birthday, he opted to dress in his Magewear emerald green collared sport shirt and black slacks, a new outfit he had received from Matthew last night, since his partner was on call tonight and wouldn't be able to give him a present while on duty at St. Mungos.

Matthew had smirked openly when Sev had opened the box, chuckling at his partner's look of astonishment. 'What's the matter, Sev? Not up to your standards?" he had teased.

The Master Healer arched one elegant eyebrow. "I wasn't aware I had standards, Matthew. This shirt alone must have cost you several Galleons. Magewear is what purebloods like Lucius Malfoy and Domenic Avery wore on weekends at school." Back then, Sev had been lucky he could afford new school robes and uniforms, never mind a pricey designer clothing label like Magewear. He examined the shirt with interest.

It was woven of a soft material with spells that prevented staining, tearing, and shrinking and would adjust to the wearer, and even keep them cool or warm, depending on the weather. The slacks were the same, and Severus was impressed in spite of himself, for Magewear was the pinnacle of wizard clothing, touted as the best of the best and not even the Minister wore better.

"Well, I figured that everyone needs to own a Magewear item once in their lives, and since you're turning twenty-two tomorrow, it was about time you had one," Matthew grinned.

"Thank you, Matt," he said sincerely. Then he asked curiously, "Do you have one?"

"Yeah. I have a sweater, I wear it all the time in the winter, that gray one, you know."

Severus nodded, he did recall the charcoal gray pullover his partner wore during the winter months, and now he understood better why it was Matthew's favorite.

The outfit was extremely comfortable, Sev could tell as soon as he put it on that it was a keeper, and he would be wearing it a lot. Matthew was a clever young wizard, sometimes too clever for his own good, but he was also a loyal and true friend, something that Severus valued very highly, and he considered it a stroke of brilliant luck that Morgan had decided to come and apply for the position in his practice, for Matthew was an excellent Healer. Matthew's specialty happened to be physical therapy and long term physical illnesses, he used combinations of both wizard and Muggle therapies that seemed odd, but had great results.

Severus quickly finished dressing, recalling just in time to take the small box off the dresser and tuck it securely into the pocket of his slacks before Apparating to Spinner's End. He arrived on Vi and Hal's front porch precisely at six-thirty and gave the knocker a token two taps before opening the door, it was hardly ever locked when guests were expected, and entering.

He had taken barely three steps into the den when about seven or eight voices screamed "Surprise!" and one little one yelled, "Happy Birt-day, Sevvy!"

Severus stepped back as the formerly empty den now filled with people. Lily came forward to hug him, and standing behind her were Vi and Hal, Sirius, Remus, Harry, and Alice and little Neville. "Happy Birthday, Sev!" Lily murmured in his ear. "Were you surprised?"

"I . . .yes, what is all this? I thought this was just going to be a quiet dinner with your parents."

Lily grinned mischievously. "Since you're twenty-two now, I figured you needed to have a surprise party, seeing as you've never had one, so I invited all our friends, and I did invite Matthew too, but–"

"He's on call," Severus interjected.

"Yes, I know. Come on, Snape, you're the guest of honor, and Harry has been pestering me all day, asking me when Sevvy was coming," Lily led Severus into the den, which was hung with green and white streamers charmed to look like smoke swirls and balloons that flickered into cauldrons and across the fireplace was a HAPPY 22ND BIRTHDAY SEV banner. Small bowls of snacks were placed around  
the endtables, and on the buffet in the dining room were cups and soda and butterbeer and Vi's famous sherbert punch, which Severus loved.

Harry wriggled down from Remus's arms and made a beeline for the somewhat shellshocked Healer, throwing himself at Snape and crowing, "Sevvy! Sevvy! You is here!"

Sev lifted the overexcited toddler into his arms and said, "Hello, Harry! You act like you haven't seen me in a week, but it's only been two days, scamp."

"A long time, Sevvy," Harry said, snuggling into the familiar embrace.

Severus hid a smile, because for a seventeen-month-old two days probably seemed like forever. "Yes, I suppose so." He ruffled the child's hair and then set him down to greet the rest of his friends.

Remus clapped him on the back and said, "Thought for a minute there you were going to bolt right out the door when we all screamed, Sev."

"I considered it, Moony," Severus replied, smirking. "But I didn't want to disappoint Lily or Harry."

Remus laughed. "Figures. Speaking of them, when are you going to ask her to marry you, Snape? You're not getting any younger, you know."

"I'll ask her . . .when the time is right," his friend answered mysteriously. Then he moved over to get a glass of punch from the sideboard.

Vi had made several appetizers to go along with the pretzels, peanuts, and crisps she had set out, including tiny hot dogs with mustard for dipping, egg rolls, spinach tarts, and roast beef & Swiss roll-ups. In addition to the food, which was delicious, music was playing gently in the background while the adults chatted, and Harry and Neville played on the floor with some of Harry's toys.

Severus watched the two for a moment, knowing Harry's penchant for not sharing his toys and biting, but today he was behaving and allowed Neville to play with the toy Hogwarts Express and Seeker and mini cauldron without a fuss.

After they had relaxed a bit, with Alice and Remus regaling the company with stories of the ridiculous things the Auror trainees tried to get away with, since they were teaching classes to the new recruits, and Severus added his own stories about some of the Healer apprentices he'd trained, Vi announced it was time for dinner.

She had made Sev's favorite, chicken cutlets in a lemon-garlic wine sauce, with almond rice, salad with Italian dressing, and green beans in a buttery sauce, plus crispy rolls hot out of the oven. Everyone ate until they were stuffed, even the children, though as soon as he was finished, Harry promptly demanded to know where the cake was.

Everyone laughed and Sirius said Harry would get along famously with Dumbledore, the two of them could have sweets for every meal.

"And then collapse in a diabetic coma," Severus remarked wryly.

Half-an-hour later, the cake and coffee was brought in. The cake was Lily's creation, a fluffy white cake with chocolate frosting and walnuts in the middle and on the outside. It practically melted in your mouth, and upon it were twenty-two sparkling magic candles that changed color when lit, plus Happy Birthday Sev spelled out in color change gel.

"Pretty! Rainbow, Mum!" exclaimed Neville, clapping his hands upon seeing the cake.

Alice hugged him. "Yes, it's very pretty, Nev. Now hush, because we're going to sing."

"Sing? What sing?"

"Happy Birt-day song," Harry answered, and began singing in a sweet slightly off-key treble.

The adults soon joined him and then the kids were chanting, "Blow out the cannels, Sevvy!" and Severus did so, feeling a wave of tranquility sweep over him. Then Vi handed him the knife to cut the first piece of cake, and he handed it to Lily, smiling as he did so.

Once the cake was eaten and the dishes cleared away, using magic for once, they returned to the den, where Severus was seated in the "Recliner of Honor", and the Aurors levitated the presents over to him, one by one.

"Presents! Yay!" the kids squealed and Harry climbed on Severus's lap clamoring, "Me open them!"

"Harry, those aren't your presents to open, sweetie," Lily informed him. "Remember whose birthday this is?"

"It's Sevvy's!" He looked imploringly at Severus. "Me help, kay?"

"Little imp!" Sev tweaked his nose. "Okay, you can help, child." He reached for a medium-sized present wrapped in colorful paper. "From Alice, Frank, and Neville," Severus read the card while Harry tore off the paper.

"What that?" asked the little boy.

"It's a vial labeler," Severus answered. "Now how did you know I needed  
this for my office, Alice?"

"Oh, just a hunch," she smiled. "It'll save you some major writer's cramp, since the spell on the label will identify the potion in the vial and write its name and the common dosage and uses on the parchment when you decant it into the vial. The wizard who invented it was a Healer in a huge hospital in Chicago, name of Aidan Marcus, I believe."

"It's a wonderful invention. Thank you, Alice and Neville." He set the vial labeler aside and moved on to the next present.

From Hal and Vi he received a gift certificate to Flourish and Blotts and also a set of cookbooks. "Is this supposed to be a subtle hint, Vi?" he asked, and the stout woman just chuckled.

Sirius had given him some rare potion ingredients from the apothecary, plus a draft to purchase 55 Galleons more, and Severus thanked him, saying he would put them to good use. Remus's gift was a new thermometer, spelled to take a temperature in five seconds.

"Matthew's going to be green with envy when he sees this. He was bragging that he was going to buy one next paycheck. Thank you, Moony."

"Hey, anything that makes my exam easier is worth it," the werewolf laughed.

"This is from me and Harry, Sev," Lily announced, handing him a homemade card, drawn by Harry.

Inside it were tickets to a popular Muggle play Phantom of the Opera. "Now we can finally go and see it together," said the Healer. "Even if it is your second time around."

"Well, actually, it's my first," Lily admitted.

"But didn't James ever bring you . . .?"

"He was going to, but then he got a new lead and had to follow up, so . . ."Lily shrugged.

Severus just shook his head. "Well, I'm taking the day off, so nothing short of a natural disaster should prevent us from seeing it this time."

"I can't wait," Lily said, giving him an arch look.

Seeing the warm glow in her beautiful emerald eyes persuaded Severus to act upon the impulse that had led him to tuck the small box into his pocket, and he gently set Harry on the floor, telling him to go and play with Neville. "Let's take a walk, Lily," he suggested.

The other adults exchanged knowing glances as the two departed out the back door. Lily followed him out into the backyard, it was dark and the moon soared cool and watchful overhead. "You enjoy walking in the moonlight, Sev?"

"Always, with the right person," he replied. He placed a hand on her arm. "But there's an even better spot for a walk in the moonlight, little flower. Shall I take you there?"

Lily eyed him, amused. "Is this your attempt at seduction and kidnapping, Severus Snape?"

"You'll see," was all he replied, before Apparating away.

They reappeared on the shores of a familiar large lake, and Lily stared at the placid water shimmering in the moonlight in surprise. "Sev, this is the Black Lake at Hogwarts."

"Correct, and it's also the place you and I used to study and--"

"–The place where you kissed me the first time," Lily murmured, turningaround and twining her arms about Severus's lean frame.

He bent his head and their mouths met and the old passion flared anew between them.

When they finally broke apart, it was with regret, savoring the sweetness each aroused in the other. Severus cupped her chin in his hand and whispered, "Do you know how long I have dreamed of doing that again?"

"How long?"

"Since fifth year."

"Merlin, Sev, all that time?" she teased gently. "I hope I was worth the wait."

"You are always worth the wait, Lily." He kissed her again, then walked arm in arm with her along the lakeshore. "Some of the best moments of our lives were here at school."

"Yes. And some of our worst too. 'It was the best of times and the worst of times' " she quoted softly.

"Dickens, A Tale of Two Cities," Severus replied automatically, harking back to a game they used to play as children, seeing who could identify the most literary  
quotations. "But I would have traded it for nothing else. Except for one thing."

They had halted and Lily gazed up at him, feeling her heart pound in anticipation. "What thing, Sev?"

"I wish that I had the courage back then to ask for your hand in marriage, Lily Ann. And to admit that I loved you. But I was insecure and shy and certain that I wasn't good enough and my chance slipped from my fingers."

"And now?"

"Now I know what I want and my own worth. I want you forever, to hold and to come home to, and I want to raise Harry as my son and for us to be a family–a real family, like your parents, not the pitiful excuse for one I grew up with. I never realized how alone I was before, or how much I wanted that, until we started seeing each other again, Lily. I thought I was content, with my work and my solitary nights and my friends to visit on occasion, but I was wrong. The contentment was a facade to hide the loneliness and I never even knew it, not until I let myself hope that we could be together. Only with you am I truly happy, Lily. You and Harry both. With you I am complete." He fished the box out of his pocket. Then he knelt in the grass, holding out the box, where a magnificent diamond and emerald engagement ring nestled. "Lily Ann Potter, I would like to make you my wife, since you are the other half of me. I promise to love and cherish you always. Will you marry me?"

Lily felt her eyes fill with tears. She took the ring from the box and slipped it on her finger. It fit perfectly. Then she clasped his hands in her own and answered, "I will, Severus Tobias Snape, for you are my beloved, who healed my heart when it was shattered and taught it to love in a way it had never known. I would be delighted to be your wife and make a home and a family with you. I love you, Sev, now and always."

They kissed again, indulging in their glorious passion, that brought two lonely hearts together and made them whole, binding them together for all of forever, giving each what they most desired, love, a family, and a home.

Lily managed to relinquish her hold upon him at last, breathless and flushed, and said, "I hope this has been a wonderful birthday, Sev."

"It is the best one, love." He smiled down upon her. "I suppose we had better get back, before your father comes looking for us."

Lily laughed. "He approves of you whole-heartedly, you know. So you needn't fear he'll come after you with a shotgun."

"I'd hope not!" He sighed, playing with a strand of her brilliant hair. "I'd hate to start off our new life by hexing my father-in-law."

Lily rolled her eyes, then allowed him to Apparate them back to Spinner's End, where she could show off her new ring and receive the congratulations of their family and friends. All in all, it had been a most wonderful unforgettable birthday.


	13. Ringbearer Disaster

**Ringbearer Disaster**

_August 10th, 1982:_

Today was the big day, Lily thought, as she rose from her solitary bed and drew herself a peach and mango scented bubble bath, a luxury she rarely allowed herself, but on this day, her wedding day, she would indulge herself in all the sinfully rich little pleasures she had denied herself since becoming a mother with an especially active child. She would wait for her mother and Alice to come over before fixing her hair and getting dressed, for such was the privilege of the mother and best friend of the bride. It would also have been the privilege of the sister of the bride, had Petunia consented to come to the wedding. But her sister sent back a reply that she would not be attending, and a note that expressed her disbelief that Lily would lower herself to marry that scummy low-life son of a drunkard, Severus Snape.

__

First that arrogant ass Potter and now the street brat Snape? My dear sister, if you HAD to marry one of your own "kind", why couldn't you pick someone with a decent background? Do you forget where Severus Snape CAME from? He's no better than gutter trash, even if he is a doctor now. Honestly, Lily Ann, I'd have thought you over such schoolgirl romances by now, and ready to use some common sense when you chose your next husband. Oh well, I suppose there's no accounting for taste and I wish you joy in your new . . . Marriage, and pray that your husband does not turn out like his bum of a father.

Best Wishes,

Your Sister,

Petunia

Lily hadn't really been surprised at Petunia's letter, her elder sister had always loathed the friends Lily had made at Hogwarts, in particular Severus, though Lily often wondered if petunia hated him more for being poor or for having magic. For that was Petunia's secret longing, to have the magic that Lily had, and she was vilely jealous of her baby sister and her best friend for having a power she would never possess. Lily discovered that when she found a letter from Dumbledore in Petunia's room, thrown under the bed, explaining that only those who were born a witch could attend Hogwarts. Lily had been looking for a pair of shoes her sister had borrowed and found the note instead. _Still the old vendetta, eh, Tuney? One would think you'd have grown up enough by now to accept what is and live and let live. But no, you keep the old grudges alive and refuse to let them die. _She turned off the tap and prepared to slip into the scented steamy water. _So be it. I suppose I ought to be grateful that you aren't attending the wedding, your sourpuss expression would put everyone off their dinner._

Yet a part of her was sad, that her sister had not seen fit to attend any of her weddings, nor even send a gift. Lily had gone to the church when Petunia was married and sent the couple a very nice album to put their wedding photos in.

The red-haired witch shrugged and stepped into her bath, determined not to dwell on Petunia and her scruples any longer. She sank up to her chin in the heavenly scented water and closed her eyes. _Ah, now this was the life, a nice hot peaceful bath, to soothe and delight the senses. A perfect start to a hopefully perfect day . . .and night._ She inhaled the heady aroma of summer peaches and tropical mangos and thought that by this time tomorrow she would be Mrs. Snape and have a husband beside her who would actually be home more than he was away, a novelty in her experience.

Lily ran a soft sponge over her shoulders, and smiled, imagining Sev's hands instead, and chuckled naughtily. _For shame, Lily Ann!_ her conscience rebuked. _You've not even said your vows and already you're thinking of hauling Sev off to the bedroom._ But then again, who could blame her?

* * * * * *

At the same moment, Master Healer Snape was also awake, performing his morning ritual in a casual fashion that belied the trembling in his limbs and the churning in his stomach. Pre-wedding jitters, he thought it was called, though never in a million years did he ever think he would fall prey to them. Yet he was as nervous as a schoolboy awaiting a summons to the Headmaster's office for some misdeed. His brain entertained visions of himself standing at the altar and Lily vanishing into thin air, or never showing up at all. _Don't be ridiculous, Snape! Lily would never jilt you, she accepted your proposal and she loves you, she would never hurt you that way._

Logically, he knew he was right, but the part of his brain that had been nurtured on Tobias's red rages and broken promises wailed that he must be careful, for sometimes the one you trusted most could also hurt you the most. He quickly finished shaving and then stepped into the shower, scrubbing vigorously. White pine and sandalwood fragrance drifted about him, and he breathed in their refreshing and relaxing scent, imagining Lily walking towards him, her bright hair haloing her heart-shaped face and causing his heart to skip a beat.

A part of him was still astounded that she had said yes to his fumbling proposal, and that by this time tomorrow she would be his wife and he would no longer sleep alone. He wished suddenly that his mother had lived to see this day, the day when her son married the love of his life. Eileen would have been so happy that her bachelor son was finally settling down and having a wife and hopefully some other children as well, though Severus would always love Harry like his own. He had already signed the preliminary papers to adopt Harry._Sev, quit woolgathering, for Merlin's sake! Look at you! Thinking about kids when you haven't even gotten past the ceremony yet. Although I wouldn't mind seeing Lily in nothing but her hair tonight . . ._he quickly doused that line of thinking and continued washing his hair, humming happily to himself. Remus would be arriving in another hour to bolster the confidence of the groom, while Sirius would be heading over to Lily's place to help Harry get dressed in his first set of formal wizarding robes, since the little imp was the ring bearer for the ceremony.

It was not going to be a lavish affair, just a small gathering of family and friends, mostly wizards, though some Muggle relatives of Lily's had been invited. Severus was just as glad, he had always hated pomp and circumstance, and at least Petunia had declined an invitation, Severus was just as glad not to have her pinched face glowering at him in disapproval. The only thing worse than Petunia at the reception would have been Tobias.

He unconsciously suppressed a shudder, for simply thinking of the man was libel to bring on a flashback, but he banished his father from his mind and reminded himself that he was an adult and about to be married and the old tyrant had no power over him any more. The old life was done, and a new one begun, he told himself firmly. And like a snake shedding his skin, he would leave it behind without regrets.

* * * * * *

Two-year-old Harry Potter woke to something tickling his bare foot. He opened his eyes sleepily, clutching his favorite stuffed dragon, Smokey, and saw his Uncle Sirius standing at the foot of his little bed, holding a quill in his hand. "Padfoot?"

"Rise and shine, scamp! Today's the big day, kiddo!"

Suddenly Harry was wide awake. "I carry the rings today!"

He had been practicing for months, holding the pillow straight with the pretend rings on it, walking slowly and carefully, which was quite hard to do, since he liked to run everywhere, making sure the rings didn't slide off. His mummy and Sevvy, who was now going to be his daddy, had explained he had an Important Job to do, bringing the rings to Uncle Al during the ceremony. Harry was very proud of his job, for once they were treating him like a Big Kid and not a little baby.

He threw off his covers. "Okay, Uncle Sirius, I'm ready! Where's the rings?"

"Whoa, little buddy! Slow down, the rings are safe. But first we need to get you washed and dressed, all right?"

"Okay!" Harry scrambled off the bed and into the small bathroom.

Sirius helped the little boy scrub the sleep from his eyes, wash his face and hands, brush his teeth, and use the potty. But when he would have put a fresh nappy on him, Harry refused.

"No! I'm a big boy now. Wear pants," he pointed to a drawer, where his brand-new underwear was.

Sirius was skeptical. "You were wearing a nappy when you went to sleep," he began.

"At night. But not now." Harry insisted. 'It morning time and I wear pants like a big boy."

Sirius thought for a minute. The ceremony was rather long, and he doubted if the child could control his bladder, and he didn't want Harry to have an accident and embarrass the heck out of himself. But neither did he want to waste time arguing with a two-year-old. So he pointed his wand at a pair of underwear and chanted a quick Absorbency and Waterproof charm, making the underwear almost like a pair of Muggle pull-ups. They wouldn't feel different, but they'd prevent any embarrassing episodes.

"Okay, Harry. Pants it is," Sirius declared, and helped him put them on.

Then it was on to the next dreaded task, making Harry's hair lie flat. But after ten minutes of combing and wetting with no success, Sirius cheated and used a Straightening charm. "There! That ought to do it." He scooped up the little boy and brought him back into the bedroom, where he started to get Harry dressed in a pair of slacks, a dress shirt and his new robes, which were a dark hunter green with white trim, and new shiny boots.

"Now I look like a growed-up, Padfoot," Harry told him seriously.

"You sure do," chuckled his uncle. "Let's have breakfast and then I need to put on my robes."

"Where's Mummy?"

"She's with Aunt Alice and your gran, getting dressed in _her_ robes, well, kind of," Sirius explained, for though Lily did have a pair of white dress robes, she would be wearing, she also had a smashing dress as well.

Harry happily ate toast and cereal, careful not to get crumbs on his new robe. He glanced about for his special satin pillow, it was nearly the same color as his outfit, and saw it sitting on the couch, next to the practice pillow. The practice pillow was white, and had the fake rings sewed on it, while the real one had the golden ones.

Harry bit his lip nervously. He had never practiced with the real ones. What if they were different and he dropped them? "Padfoot, I got to pactiss."

"Huh?" Sirius was hunting frantically for the envelope with his bank note in it. "Now where the bloody . . ." he trailed off just in time, recalling Lily's distaste of cussing in front of her son.

"With the rings, Padfoot." Harry explained patiently. Sometimes growed-ups were a little slow.

"Yeah, sure," Sirius muttered, swearing a blue streak under his breath. The envelope wasn't here. It must still be on the kitchen table, where he'd left it last night. "Harry, hang on for a minute, I forgot something. I'll be right back."

"All right."

Sirius disappeared and Harry was left standing near the couch, looking at the pillows and trying to decide if he ought to practice a little with the real one. Sevvy had told him not to touch the real rings without asking a growed-up first, but Harry had asked Sirius and he had said he could practice, so nobody would get mad if he touched the green pillow.

He carefully picked up the green pillow and held it in front of him, walking about the den. But the den wasn't long enough, and then Harry remembered practicing outside in the yard along the walk. He stood up on tiptoe and unlatched the back door, then took the pillow and the rings outside.

He spent ten minutes marching up and down, carrying the pillow with the precious gold rings. He soon found it was a little hard to walk in his fancy robes, he kept stepping on the hem and tripping. Once he landed in the grass, and quickly jumped up and brushed himself off. If he got dirty, Mum would yell.

Finally, he learned how to take small steps along the walk, so he didn't trip and was pleased that he had thought to practice first. Unfortunately, he didn't notice that his last tumble had loosened the stitches the rings were bound with, and as he made one last circuit of the yard, the stitches snapped.

"Harry? Where are you?" he heard Sirius calling. "It's almost time to go, buddy!"

"Coming!" he yelled, then tucked the pillow under an arm so he could run up the porch stairs.

Unnoticed, the two rings fell off and rolled down the walk to lie in the grass, forgotten.

* * * * * *

The adults were in such a hurry to get to the ceremony that no one thought to check the pillow Harry was clutching to him, they simply noted it was the real one and picked the child up and Apparated with him to the great lawn in front of Hogwarts, where Albus Dumbeldore would perform the binding ceremony.

The ceremony would be observed only by close friends and family, the only Muggles present were Vi and Hal. Dumbeldore had chosen to hold the ceremony along one of the broad pathways leading to Sprout's greenhouse, for the trees along the walkway were blooming with pretty pink and white blossoms during the summer and they arched pleasingly over the path for some of the way. He had erected a large white wooden arch, and encouraged climbing roses to twine about it, that was where the couple would stand while he performed the binding.

The old wizard was quite happy to perform the ancient ritual again, he was dressed in his best silver and gold robes, the ones he only wore on this sort of occasion, and he was happy that his former students had finally made up their minds to marry. They both needed each other desperately.

Severus and Remus arrived first, along with a few other guests, like Molly and Arthur Weasley. Severus looked exceedingly sharp in his dress Master Healer robes, with the double braided trim along the collar, hem, and sleeves of real gold thread and brilliant emerald thread, which only a wizard with two masteries was allowed to wear. He also had a gold chasuble about his neck to signify he had graduated with honors from medical school. Underneath the fine robe were slacks and a tunic of a pearl gray and white leather boots.

"Hello, Severus! You look simply smashing, my boy!' Albus said, smiling happily.

"Thank you, Albus." Severus replied, fighting the urge to pace around like a caged lion.

"You're not, uh, what's that Muggle expression again?" Albus scratched his beard. "Oh, now I remember! You're not getting cold feet are you, Severus?"

The Master Healer shook his head. "Not on your life, Albus. I am quite content to let my bachelorhood come to an end and marry Lily."

"And be a father to Harry?"

"That too." Severus agreed, looking up and down to see if Lily, Alice, and Vi had arrived yet. It was not quite ten o'clock in the morning, so they still had time.

"Relax, Sev. Before you wear a hole in the lawn with your worrying," Remus teased. He was wearing his dress Auror robes, with the gold trim on the red cloth, denoting he was a senior member of a strike team. "Lily's not likely to be late for her own wedding."

"I know, Moony, but I hate waiting," Severus muttered. "And where the devil are Sirius and Harry?"

"They'll be along too," Remus soothed. "Sirius probably forgot something or was late getting there and now he's running late. But they'll make it, after all, we can't do the ceremony without the ring bearer and the second witness."

Severus ground his back teeth together. Remus was right, but he detested waiting, it was one of his biggest flaws. He tucked his hands inside his sleeves and stamped upon the urge to pace around and around like a demented wind-up toy soldier.

Just then, more guests began to arrive and so did Sirius and Harry. Severus breathed out sharply, at least Padfoot had managed to get Harry dressed properly and hadn't forgotten the pillow with the rings. _As if Harry would've let him,_ a part of his mind whispered. _He probably would have slept with the pillow if Lily had let him._ They had both taken turns explaining about the marriage and how Severus was going to be Harry's new daddy, since James was now in heaven with the angels. Harry had seemed to take it in stride, he was especially excited that Sev was going to live with them now, so he could see the Healer all the time. Though Severus wondered how glad he would be the first time Harry got into trouble and Snape punished him for it. But he would cross that bridge when they came to it.

Gasps of awe and envy and longing were heard, and Severus turned about to see what all the stir was about, to behold his beautiful flower coming down the walkway towards him. Hal was beside her, escorting her to her final destination, that of the altar where Severus waited. Alice, as her "lady-in-waiting", followed them. She was also wearing Auror robes and looked beautiful, but Severus only had eyes for Lily.

Lily's dress, beneath her spotless white robe, was a silver and white affair that a princess would have envied. It came down to her feet and was made of silk and soft cotton sewn with dozens of crystals that glittered every time she moved. The bodice was lined with a bit of ermine and about her slender neck was a rope of heirloom pearls, they had once belonged to Vi's grandmother, and had been handed down from mother to daughter, along with a pair of earrings. But the earrings Vi had given to Petunia, and the necklace to Lily.

But Lily's crowning glory was her hair, the fiery auburn tresses, gathered up and piled atop her head, held in place by several sparkling silver combs, though some was left free to tumble heedlessly down her back. She was breathtaking, and she smiled and waved at the guests as she passed, and blew a kiss to her son as well.

Then she turned her eyes to her new husband, and her face lit with an incandescent joy so great that Professor's Sprout, McGonagall, and Sinistra had to wipe tears from their eyes. If there had ever been a doubt that Lily loved Severus, it was banished when you caught the look upon her face, a joy so indescribable, so consuming, that she glowed, and it was all directed at the tall wizard in dress whites.

Severus gazed at her as well, and in his own eyes burned a twin expression, as well as amazement that this was truly happening and not simply a wishful daydream.

At last the three reached the altar, and Hal kissed Lily before giving her hand to Severus and stepping away. "Take care of her, Sev."

"I will, Hal." The other promised, his hand clasping Lily's protectively.

They turned to face Dumbeldore, who had lifted his arms for silence, then began to speak. "Today we are gathered here to celebrate the joining of two special people, Lily Ann Potter and Severus Tobias Snape. . . "

Harry fidgeted, Uncle Al sure could talk for a _long_ time, and he wished he would hurry up and get to the part with the rings, so Harry could bring them to him, his hands were growing sweaty and he had to set the pillow down to wipe them on his trousers.

"Relax, kid, your part's coming up soon," whispered Sirius. Normally he would be standing beside Severus to witness the vows, but someone had to watch Harry. "Make sure the pillow's straight and in front of you so the rings don't . . ." he trailed off in horror as he noticed that the pillow was missing the rings. "Harry, where are the rings?"

"They're on the pillow, Padfoot!"

"No, they aren't," Sirius said, a note of panic in his voice. He knelt on the ground to search for them, perhaps they had come off when Harry set the pillow down.

Harry gasped, feeling as if the world had suddenly ended. The rings, his Very Important Job, he was supposed to watch the rings and now they were gone! "Oh no! Uncle Sirius, what do we do? I'm sorry!" Tears welled in his eyes and he started to cry.

"Hey, don't do that," Sirius said quickly. "We'll find them." he felt along the ground, ignoring the odd stares he was getting from some of the guests. But he was running out of time, Dumbledore was already binding lily and Sev's wrist with the traditional green and gold ribbons, and if the rings were not presented promptly, the whole ceremony would be ruined.

"Harry, can you tell me where you were with the pillow? Besides here, I mean?"

"Uh . . .I was at home."

"Where? When you picked up the pillow to practice with it, where were you?" Sirius queried, a note of desperation in his voice. Harry hesitated. "Come on, kid, think!" he ordered, feeling like he was grilling a suspect.

'"Uh . . .I know . . .I was . . In the backyard!"

"Good. Then we'll look there. Where were you in the backyard?"

"I was practicing walking up and down on the path," Harry answered. "And I fell, so maybe that's where they are."

"Yes. C'mon, little buddy. We've got five minutes to turn this disaster around." He picked up Harry, who squirmed and announced that he had to go potty, which was true, the drama was affecting his bladder, and Apparated back to Lily's house.

"Padfoot, I really gotta go," Harry whimpered as soon as they appeared inside.

"Go, quickly. I'll meet you out back, okay." He set Harry down and then darted out the back door.

As soon as he had stepped onto the porch, he cast a Summoning charm, and the rings flew out of the grass and into his hand. "Oh, thank you, Merlin!" he heaved an enormous sigh of relief. "Severus would have chopped me into bits and Lily would've kicked my arse if I had really lost those rings." He turned towards the door. "Harry, I found 'em! Let's go, scamp."

Harry emerged a few moments later, and Sirius quickly fixed his robes and wiped his face, then he picked up the toddler and Apparated back to the lawn at Hogwarts.

They arrived just in the nick of time, Sirius quickly stuck the rings on the pillow with a temporary Sticking charm, it would wear off in about a minute, and then gave the pillow to Harry. "Okay, Harry, you're on!"

Harry took the pillow carefully and held it, waiting for Uncle Al to say, "And who brings the rings to join this couple in matrimony?"

Just then Uncle Al said that and Harry cried, "I do!" amid a round of smiles and "Aww, isn't he precious!"

Harry began to walk up the long walkway to the place where Uncle Al and his mother and new daddy were. It seemed to take forever, but Harry didn't mind. He had the rings back and everything would be all right now.

When he finally reached the growed-ups, he was feeling a bit tired, carrying the rings was hard work! "Here they are, Uncle Al!" he announced, holding out the pillow with the glittering gold circles.

"Thank you, Harry," Albus said gravely, his eyes twinkling. "You did a wonderful job, ring bearer."

Harry grinned. Then he turned and walked over to where Uncle Remus was standing, and watched as Uncle Al put the rings on his mother and new father's fingers and waved his wand over them. "In the name of the elements and the good forces of the earth, by the Light of true magic, love, and hope, I bind you, one to the other, for all the days you shall live. What I have joined, let no one pull asunder!"

A white light twined about Severus and Lily's clasped hands and sealed the vows they had made, to love and cherish, honor, and protect, binding them by magic and will, heart and soul, for the length of their days.

Then Uncle Al tugged on Severus's wrist and on Lily's, to show that the binding was true and a great cheer went up from the guests as they saw that the two were well and truly bound for all of time.

Harry was jumping up and down and yelling, Remus picked him up and set him on his shoulder. "Well, imp, that's it. Your mum's married and Sev's your new dad. How do you feel about that, Harry?'

"Good." Harry replied.

Sirius joined them and Remus remarked that was one of the smoothest bondings he'd ever attended. 'I mean, usually something goes wrong at the last minute, y'know, and it's delayed, but this one went off without a hitch. Absolutely amazing, eh, Padfoot?"

"Very," Sirius replied, and winked at Harry, putting a finger to his lips. Thank Merlin no one would ever know how the ceremony had almost been a disaster. _All's well that ends well, to quote a famous Muggle playwright,_ _Shakespeare, _the Auror grinned, and ruffled Harry's hair.

**Well, how did you all like the ceremony?**

Let's all raise a glass of champagne or your preferred alcoholic beverage, in a toast for Lily and Sev's wedding. Next: The Evans have a family reunion, will the Dursleys spoil it all? I was planning to post the next chapter tomorrow, but I'll post it tonight if enough of you want to read it right away.


	14. Scars of the Past

**Scars of the Past**

__

Rome, Italy

August 15th, 1982

Severus and Lily left the little pizzaria and walked leisurely through the cobblestone byways back to their hotel facing the Fountain of Trevi, that brilliant masterpiece of marble that invited visitors to the Eternal City to throw a coin into its aqua depths and wish to return there someday. They had already done that, even though Severus thought it mere superstition. Still, what could it hurt? It was his honeymoon, and he would indulge himself and his beloved wife shamelessly.

Lily had tucked her arm casually in his as they walked, her skin had taken on a slight golden glow under the Mediterranean sun, despite the myth that most red-heads burned in the sun. Lily seemed to be the exception, as she was about most things. The sun had also caused her hair to become highlighted with strands of brilliant gold, making it seem as if she were wearing a fiery helmet sometimes. Severus reached up and played absently with a wayward curl, a smile stealing over his features.

"How was your dinner, Lily?"

"Delicious, as always. I don't think I've eaten anything here that I haven't loved," his wife replied, smiling back at him. "How about you?"

"Yes, the food is incredible. I think it has something to do with the fresh produce."

"Yes, everything tastes better fresh," Lily agreed. "Are you happy, Sev?"

"I am, Lil. For the first time in my whole life, I can actually say that I am truly happy." He halted abruptly, they were near a statue of some victorious Roman warrior, Rome had marble statues upon nearly every street corner, or so it seemed. Then he drew Lily into his arms and murmured, "And do you know the reason why I am happy, Mrs. Snape?"

"Why?"

"Because you are now a part of my life, Lily. For always. I love you." Then he bent his head and kissed her.

He had become much more practiced at kissing during this honeymoon, he thought wickedly, putting said practice to good use now.

Lily returned his kiss as ardently, finding that a Severus Snape in love was a man she had never known, all passion and fire, and she couldn't get enough of him. At first, she had been the one to initiate most of their intimacy, since she was the more experienced partner, but after a week under the blazing Italian sun, Severus had proved himself a quick study, and now it was he who began most of these intimate interludes.

She fit comfortably in his arms, nestling into his embrace, thrilling to the feel of his hands upon her, those elegant fingers could make her shiver all the way down to her toes with a single caress. There was a hidden strength in those hands, but she knew she need never fear them, the way Petunia had cautioned. Severus was no Tobias, he would sooner chop off his hand than ever lift it against her. No, those lean hands that could perform the most delicate spell surgery and sew flesh so deftly would never inflict harm upon her ever. In fact, those fingers were running ever so lightly up her back, making her gasp in delight.

"Sev!"

"Yes, flower?" he murmured.

"You shouldn't . . .touch me that way here."

"What way? This way?" he teased, repeating the gesture, a mischievous sparkle in his eyes.

Lily felt as if she were about to self-combust. "Severus _Snape_! You are . . .you are . . .Merlin help me!" she gasped as his fingers wound in her hair and he tilted her head back and captured her mouth again.

"You were saying, love?" queried her rogue of a husband, once he could talk again. "I'm a what?"

"A wicked devil and also the love of my life." She smiled up at him, her green eyes shining with barely controlled passion. "Come on, Sev, let's go back to our room. We can see the Spanish Steps by moonlight another time."

"Tomorrow night," he agreed, then the wicked devil scooped her up in his arms and Apparated into their room, which was conveniently known as the bridal suite, and featured a most comfortable bed and a couch and bath with a fantastic whirlpool.

"Severus, put me down," she ordered, laughing.

"Why? This is where you belong. Right here in my arms."

"If you don't put me down, how will I be able to take my dress off?" she inquired coyly.

"That, Lily love, is why they invented banishing charms," he said with a sly secret smile, and whispered one.

After that, they were too busy to talk for quite awhile.

* * * * * *

One of the things that Severus loved best about Italy was the way the sun crept into the room in the early morning, tiptoeing on cat's paws across the sienna plush carpet and gently teasing his eyelids open. He stretched and yawned leisurely, savoring the sensation of not having to wake up and jump out of bed to go to work or the hospital, and also the sensation of waking with a sweet little enchantress beside him, who showed him in so many ways that she loved him best of all. There were times when he still felt like an awkward schoolboy lout around her, but with a single look, she could banish that fumble footed boy to the shadows and summon instead the poised passionate Master Healer.

He rolled over, eyeing the sleeping witch with a tenderness he rarely allowed to show upon his face. He had learned long ago during his childhood that he must hide those softer emotions, Tobias taught him well. Boys didn't cry and they didn't write poems and send chocolates to women they admired, unless they were wimps and sissies. Lily might not be beautiful in a conventional sense, but to Severus she had the face of a Boticelli angel, and he had seen plenty of Renaissance artwork as they toured the museums and churches of Rome, Florence, and Venice. To him she was a masterpiece, a living breathing work of art, and he thanked God daily that she had consented to be his wife.

He had no illusions about himself, he knew he was flawed and imperfect, a temperamental perfectionist Healer, a workaholic who always managed to shove forty-eight hours into a twenty-four hour day, and without using magic, either. He was sarcastic and sharp-tempered and he knew that he was no one's idea of Prince Charming, the way James had been. He was as flawed outside as inside, he bore the marks of Tobias's drunken rages on his backside and thighs, faint white scars that nevertheless branded him as a victim, and which he could never ever let her see.

That was why whenever they made love, he made sure the lights were dimmed and he always changed out of her sight. It was awkward, to be sure, but necessary. He did not want her seeing the scars, the shameful badges of a broken childhood, and pitying him or worse. He wanted to be a good husband, he loved her with everything he had, but there were some things he could not share with her, and though she knew that his father was a drunk and had struck him on more than one occasion, she did not know it all. She knew nothing of the scars, the counseling, the flashbacks. He could not bear for her to learn of it, to know that the man she married was an emotional wreck, haunted by a father he had not seen in over four years. _Physician, heal thyself, _he thought mockingly, before pushing the awful memories aside and bending down to place a kiss on the sleeping Lily's hair. _Sweet dreams, angel of mine,_ he thought, and then slipped from the bed to take a soothing hot bath.

* * * * * *

Lily awoke from a very pleasant dream to the sound of water running and splashing. _Hmmm . . .sounds like someone's taking a nice hot bubble bath._ She yawned hugely, uncurling herself reluctantly from the nest of blankets. Last night had been amazing, she had never felt that way with anyone before, not even James. Severus was a very considerate and sweet partner, but at the same time he could be wild, and his passion matched hers. When they were together, he focused exclusively on her, the way he did on a potion he was brewing or a patient he was examining, and she was the center of his world. It made her feel very cherished and very loved and so incredibly lucky.

Who would have thought that shy, awkward, gawky Severus Snape would turn out to be such a handsome thing, or that she would crave his touch and his presence almost like an addiction? With James, she had been rather in awe of him, and _he_ had been the one with more experience, and she had been willing to take what he gave her. But with Severus, it was different. With him, she was adored, he spoiled her, and he was quite content to share and share alike.

The sound of water running ceased abruptly, and she heard a rather loud splash and then silence. She arched an eyebrow and smirked naughtily. _Wonder what he'd do if I went in there? _She had noted that her husband seemed rather shy about her seeing him naked, he always undressed in private and preferred a single light on when they were in bed together. Truth be told, she found his little boy shyness charming, but a part of her did wonder why he felt so awkward around her. Did he imagine that she would be mentally comparing him to James and he would come up wanting?

__

Ridiculous! Sev is Sev and there really IS no comparison between him and James. They're two different people. James had been very muscular and buff from all his Quidditch playing and his face made teenage girls and grown women hyperventilate. Severus was lean and sleek, and graceful as a cat, and while his face didn't stop traffic, it was rugged and noble and handsome in its own way. James was cocky and arrogant at times, he would have never felt the need to prove himself to me. But Severus, a part of him is still that insecure fifteen-year-old, and he needs me to reassure him that he doesn't need to live in James's shadow. That we can make our own life together, and it will be a wonderful one.

Filled with a new determination to erase the awkwardness from her husband's mind once and for all, Lily rose and threw on a lacy pink wrapper, since the balcony curtains were slightly ajar and she didn't want a scandal, and turned the knob on the bathroom door.

"Sev, honey? Mind if I come in?"

Severus froze, then jerked as if shot, the towel half-wrapped about him. "Wait! I-"

Too late.

Lily had already stepped into the steamy tiled bathroom, her bare feet making no sound upon the tile, and Sev had his back to the door and she could not help but run her gaze down him, taking in everything, including the faint white lines crisscrossing his bottom and thighs.

Severus went rigid, breathing raggedly, longing to vanish. _Ah, Merlin, why me? What must she think of me now? That I was a coward who let a Muggle thrash me?_ He felt his face flame with awful shame and embarrassment and he could not bear to turn around.

Lily stared at the scars, uncomprehending for a moment. Then all at once she realized what she was looking at, and suddenly all the missing pieces came together and she understood. _Oh, God. My poor Sev! I knew your father was a drunken bum and nasty, but I never thought he hurt you that badly. _She recalled Severus at age eight, skinny and startling at the slightest quick movement, flinching like a wild animal when her dad laughed too loud, or spoke in a stern tone, always wearing secondhand clothes and never spending any time with his father unless he was forced to. _How did I miss that? Why didn't I see?_ she thought remorsefully. Tears pricked her eyes for the pain her friend had endured so silently, and she came up and put her arms about him, hugging him.

"Oh, Sev. Your father?" He nodded, unable to speak from embarrassment and she only hugged him tighter. "Was this what you were hiding from me?"

"Yes."

"Sev, those are nothing to be ashamed of. You were a child, a victim, he was wrong, not you."

"I-I thought . . .if you saw . . .that you'd think . . ."

"What? That you were less of a man? That you were weak? No, Sev. You are the child survived, beloved, and that takes courage beyond measure, more courage than even James had. More courage than _I_ would have had. And you not only survived, Severus, you became a better man than he was."

"How do you know, Lily?"

"Because I love you, Sev. And I could never love a man like your father."

Then she kissed him, her hands gently cupping his face, reaffirming that she still loved him, despite his shameful past, despite the scars, and her words broke something inside of him.

He turned to her abruptly, burying his face in her shoulder and crying, very softly, he who almost never cried, raised in Tobias's household where boys didn't cry ever.

Lily simply held him, not saying anything, for there was nothing she could say that would ease the old hurt, and so she said nothing. But her mere presence comforted him, easing the sting of embarrassment and shame, and Tobias's specter was banished into the abyss, to dwell in exile forever. It was a relief, to know that she knew the truth, and accepted it, and loved him still.

After a few moments, he lifted his head and said softly, "Thank you, Lily, for understanding."

"Did you really think I wouldn't?"

"I . . .had hoped you would, someday . . .But I didn't dare to hope . . .until now." He gave her a tentative smile. Then he cast a glance back at the still full tub. "The water's still hot, little flower."

She grinned and yanked away the towel. "Let's not waste it, Sev."

This time there was no hesitation.

* * * * * *

The rest of the time they spent in Italy was semi-idyllic. By day, Lily shopped in the market for fresh produce, both she and Sev shared a passion for Imperial figs and tomatoes and mozzarella, along with crusty bread drizzled with herbs and olive oil washed down with a sweet red wine. After they went sightseeing, wandering the old ruins of the ancient Forum, where Julius Caesar and Cicero gave their great speeches, and where Caesar was betrayed and murdered. They saw the Colosseum, once considered the greatest architectural wonder of the ancient world, climbing the steps where once the feet of Roman citizens, slaves, and emperors had trod, though now only tourists and cats roamed.

Severus half-fancied he could almost hear the roar of the crowd and the snarls of wild beasts and the clash of sword upon armor as the gladiators fought for their lives and a kind of bloodsoaked honor upon the shifting sands.

And yet, the architecture was astounding, especially considering it had all been done by hand, and had stood the test of over a thousand years. But there was a dark side to the construction of the amphitheater too, it had been built with the labor of over two million Jewish slaves, taken in chains from sacked Jerusalem by the Roman army.

They visited cathedrals and walked the Via Appia, toured the Castle of Angels, and ate at small cafes and family owned restaurants where their status as newlyweds was celebrated, much to Sev's embarrassment, though Lily thought it was sweet.

Lily took dozens of pictures, especially when they were in the pastoral hills of Tuscany, outside Florence. Among the vineyards they wandered, drinking in the peaceful countryside, sampling the local wines and cheeses and fruit from the friendly wizard farmers and their families. "Bellissima!" was the comment Severus heard the most regarding his beautiful new wife, and he had to agree, ignoring the tiny spark of jealousy engendered by some of the men who looked lingeringly at Lily.

But he also found camaraderie among the local healers and Potions Mistresses and Masters, all of whom were eager to learn new techniques from a guest and welcomed his expertise. He found their hospitality was second to none, and they insisted the couple stay in their villas for the price of a few new spells and recipes for original drafts.

And while he swapped recipes and healing techniques, Lily learned how to cook like an Italian and made some new friends, who teased her about her tall, dark, and attractive husband.

Gradually, Severus's awkwardness faded, though one night he had a dream about Tobias chasing him in a drunken fury threatening to whip the hide off his seven-year-old self and woke trembling and sweating, his heart pounding like a crazed wild animal. Somehow, Lily roused too and surmised it was a nightmare, and just curled close to him, humming and stroking his hair for once, until he calmed down.

"Sorry, I didn't mean to wake you."

"Never apologize, Sev. I'm always here for you. As you were for me." Her hands began to knead the tenseness from his shoulders, and he relaxed in her embrace. One thing led to another, and the nightmare was vanquished by a pair of emerald eyes and skillful hands and a passion that burned hotter than the fires of Mount Vesuvius.

When they departed from Italy a week later, it was with a hostful of memories, several albums worth of pictures, and a newfound sense of pride and self-confidence, the scars of the past scabbed over and beginning to heal. Together, they looked forward to a bright future, as a husband and wife, raising their son and hopefully other children as well, a new generation of Snapes born out of love instead of tragedy.

**Oops, I forgot they had the honeymoon before the reunion, sorry, folks! But I'll have the reunion up tomorrow, promise. This chapter was a necessary turning point, however, in Sev & Loly's growing relationship. Hope you liked that one! I was in Italy eight years ago and I still remember it like it was yesterday. Happy New Year everyone!**


	15. Family Reunion

**Family Reunion**

__

October 15, 1982

Evans residence

Spinner's End

The Snapes arrived early to help Vi and Hal set up for the reunion, the tenth one to date that the Evans had celebrated. Hal was particularly looking forward to this one, since he would get to see his brother Charley, who had moved to Virginia years ago and married a young woman named Sharon. Charley was Hal's younger brother and he would be coming with his wife and stepdaughter, Kimmie, and their seven-year-old son Larry.

"Haven't seen him in almost ten years, his firm transferred him over there, he builds computer prototypes, and he liked it so much he married a local girl and stayed there," Hal explained to Severus as they set up the wooden picnic tables and chairs. "He sends gifts and cards at our birthdays and the holidays, but it's not the same."

It was a bit windy, and some of the chairs kept blowing over, until Sev cast a Sticking charm on them. "I take you were close with your brother then?"

Hal nodded. "Yeah, he's only three years younger and we used to get up to all kinds of mischief as kids. Drove my poor mum and dad insane sometimes. Charley liked to invent stuff, and sometimes the things he invented didn't work all that well." Hal chuckled. "He tried to invent an Automatic Shoe Shiner for my dad one time, since Dad was a Navy Lieutenant back then and always polishing his shoes. It was supposed to put a thin coat of polish on and then rub it to a shine with a robotic arm. It . . .didn't work out that way. It put the polish on all right, too much, and then when it went to rub it in, it rubbed too hard and put a hole in Dad's good dress shoe! Needless to say, Dad was _not_ happy, and Charley still hasn't lived that one down. My cousin Dave still teases him to this day, asking him if he'd like to polish some of his shoes. But we had some fun, us and my cousins. Another time, Charley and my cousin Dave decided to build a hang glider, and jump off the roof of our garage to test it . . .Mum nearly had heart failure, Dave broke his ankle, and Charley ended up not being able to sit down for a day once Dad found out about it."

"Your brother sounds like James and Sirius. They were always doing insane stunts like that as well," Severus remarked.

Hal nodded. "Kids are kids, no matter if they're wizards or not." He surveyed the yard, which was filled with rows of chairs and tables with plastic green cloths and a large white tent erected over them. The barbecue was set off to the side next to a long table where rolls and salads were placed. "Looks good, Sev. Now we just have to do the coolers of drinks and we're set here."

Later on Hal would grill steaks, hamburgers, and chicken to go along with the rest of the food, most of which would be brought by the relatives, one dish per household. Lily had made an Italian tomato salad with fresh basil and mozzerella and balsamic dressing, learned from a Tuscan farm witch on their honeymoon, and she was anxious to try it out on her family and see if they liked it. Sev was sure they would, it was incredibly delicious. Even Harry, who had lately become Mr. Picky and refused to eat most vegetables and meat, loved that salad.

Meanwhile, Lily and Vi were in the kitchen, preparing Vi's famous macaroni salad and hot German potato salad and yeast rolls. "Did Petunia really say she was coming?" asked Lily while she fried bacon and crumbled it.

"Yes, she told Vernon that it was only polite to attend the reunion, and so she and her husband and Dudley are coming."

"Well, that's good, I guess. Maybe Dudley can get to know his cousin," Lily said, trying to maintain a cheerful aspect, though a little voice in her head was whispering that the Dursleys might just spoil the whole reunion, given Vernon's outright distaste of magic and Petunia's haughtiness. Still, she was willing to give her sister the benefit of the doubt, and hope that the years had tempered Petunia's snippy manner a little.

"Yes, that'd be good, I don't think Tuney lets him play enough with other children, she tends to keep him close to her, from what I could see last time I visited," Vi said.

Lily just rolled her eyes, thinking that was typical of Petunia, considering her son too good to associate with other children. She hoped that her nephew had inherited his grandparents' temperament instead of either of his parents, otherwise they'd be in trouble, for Harry disliked bossy loud children.

She finished with the bacon and began to assemble the potato salad, praying that all would go smoothly today.

* * * * * *

The Dursleys were among the last arrive at 14 Spinner's End. Charley and his wife Sharon and their children were the first to arrive, and the youngest Evans brother greeted his sibling and Vi enthusiastically, grabbing Hal in a bear hug and twirling Vi around and claiming she was still as pretty as she'd been twenty-something years ago when she had first started dating Hal.

"You haven't changed a bit, Charley," Vi laughed, returning her brother-in-law's embrace. "A bit more gray in that blond hair but you still are the same charming rascal you always were."

"That's the reason I married him," put in Sharon, who was a small woman with dark hair and sparkling blue eyes. "I nevah could resist a reformed rogue." She had a soft drawl to her speech, from the Virginia tidewater where she had been born and raised. "These are my children, Kimberly, whom we all call Kimmie," she indicated a quiet girl with her dark hair and bright brown eyes wearing a pretty blue traveling suit, who smiled and said, "How d'you do, Aunt Violet?"

"Vi, dearie, Violet was what my gran used to call me when I was in deep trouble with her," Vi corrected, smiling. "I'm Aunt Vi and that big bloke over there is your Uncle Hal. He's a teddy bear, just ask your cousin Lily. Welcome to London." She hugged Kimmie to her and the girl tentatively embraced her.

"And this rascal ovah heah is Lawrence, but he insists on being called Larry," Sharon nudged her youngest forward, he had the Evans blond good looks and dark blue eyes. "Say hello to your Aunt Vi, Larry."

"Hello, ma'am," the boy repeated dutifully, he was wearing good black jeans and a collared shirt. "Have you ever seen Queen Elizabeth?"

Vi laughed and shook her head. "No, I'm not quite in her circle, Larry, but we can take you to see the Tower and Buckingham Palace later on, since you're staying here for a few days, right? Would you like that?"

The boy smiled. "Yes, that'd be so cool, Aunt Vi." He hugged her as well.

Vi introduced Lily and Severus and Harry to them, and Harry took to Kimmie instantly, allowing the twelve-year-old to pick him up and make much of him. "Aww, ain't you the cutest little thing!" she exclaimed. "How old are you, Harry?"

Harry held up two fingers and said, "I is two, how 'bout you?"

"I'm twelve," Kimmie said.

"Wow!" Harry's green eyes went wide. "That OLD! Almost like a growed-up."

The adults chuckled and Kimmie laughed and said, "Uh, I wish."

"Lily Ann, you've become a real looker, girl!" Charley cried, upon catching sight of his niece standing next to Severus. "Last time I saw you, you were around Kimmie's age. And now you're married with a little boy, or so Hal tells me."

He hugged Lily, smiling like a genial bluff bear. Lily kissed his cheek, recalling him with fondness from her childhood. "It's been too long, Uncle Charley. This is my husband, Sev Snape."

"Pleased to meet you," Charley shook Sev's hand. "You're a doctor, or so Hal tells me, that right?"

"Yes, I'm a general practitioner and also a pediatrician," Severus answered without missing a beat. It was true, he was very like the Muggle equivalent of that sort of doctor. He returned the handshake, and said, with a slight mischievous air, "Hal tells me you invent things."

"Yeah, well I used to, before I got into computers. Don't tell me my brother told you the blasted Automatic Shoe Shine story?" Charley groaned good-naturedly. "He'll never let me forget that one!"

"Or the hang glider," Severus added.

"Figures. Well, I could tell you some stories about him, Sev," Charley declared, smiling ruefully. "My brother was no saint either."

Lily was happy that both her men seemed to be hitting it off with the Evanses, and resolved to not worry so much about her sister, for surely Petunia would not want to cause a scene at this fine family gathering.

Other relatives arrived, aunts, uncles, cousins, each bringing food and swapping old stories and telling new ones about their children or grandchildren, until the backyard held about thirty people, not counting the ten children running about, who ranged in age from thirteen to two.

Harry was having a wonderful time, playing with little Mark, a distant cousin who was three, and being cuddled and admired by Kimmie and Lana and Angela, some more cousins, who found his brilliant green eyes and dimpled cheeks too cute to resist.

The table next to the barbecue was groaning with all the food everyone had brought and it was then that the Dursleys arrived, driving up in their brand new blue car, Vernon wearing expensive plaid golf togs and a black bowler and Petunia in a brand-new purple dress with small white polka dots on it and heels and a fancy hat with peacock feathers in it to match. Dudley was dressed in a cute sailor suit and would have been adorable, save for the sulky frown on his face, he was cranky from being woken from his nap.

Lily bit back a groan when she saw them. _Oh Lord, Tuney, who are you trying to impress? Aunt Thalia has been dead for years and she's the only one who would care two pennies about your Harrod's original or whatever it is. This isn't some fancy social debut, just a family barbecue, for heaven's sake._

Still, Petunia never missed an opportunity to show off, whether it was clothes, shoes, or her rich husband, who worked for Grunnings, a booming drill manufacturer. Tuney had to have the best of everything, it had always been that way, and always would.

"Good afternoon, Mother," Petunia said, giving Vi a perfunctory kiss on the cheek. She had resorted to calling Vi Mother after she had graduated high school, in an effort to sound more polished. Lily just thought it made her sound standoffish.

"Hello, Tuney," Lily greeted, making herself smile, and reaching out to embrace her sister.

"Hello, Lily," Petunia said, smiling woodenly and her hug was too brief, as if she couldn't bear to touch her sister. "You seem as if motherhood agrees with you."

"Actually, being married to Severus agrees with me," Lily answered, her green eyes flashing.

Petunia sniffed. "I don't see how. Do you live off your first husband's money then, because God knows a Snape never knew how to save a penny, and I doubt if this one is any different than his father."

Lily flushed, furious. "How dare you say that about Severus-- "

"Still singing the same old tune are you, Petunia?" drawled Severus, coming into the kitchen carrying Harry, who took one look at the pinched-faced woman standing by his mother and squirmed to be set down. Sev set him down and told him to go play in the backyard. "Find Mark or Kimmie, scamp."

Petunia's mouth twisted and she eyed Severus critically. He was wearing dark green pants and a black pullover with leather walking shoes. "Humph! You clean up nice, but dress a dog in a suit and underneath it's still a dog."

"Petunia Charlotte Evans!" Vi cried.

"Don't deny it, Mother. We all know where he came from, the dregs of society, and he's one of _them_ besides!" She held Dudley protectively, as if afraid Snape would hurt him.

"Wizard. Say it, Petunia." Severus challenged, coming up to her. They had never liked each other, but Severus would be damned if he would let her bait him. "It's a word, like any other."

"You're unnatural, Snape, and I've always thought so," Petunia hissed. "A freak of nature and I will never understand what my sister saw in you. Did you bewitch her perhaps?"

"Petunia, that's enough!" Vi snapped, losing her temper. "Severus is a member of this family now and deserving of your respect and at the very least, your civility. I didn't raise you to behave this way, Petunia Charlotte, and as long as you're under my roof, you will treat everyone with politeness, no matter if they are poor as a church mouse or the queen's own relation. Is that understood?"

Petunia paled, then said meekly, "Yes, Mother. Good afternoon, Severus Snape," and then she swept past him out the back door, her roly poly child clutched to her tightly.

Vernon, who had come in during Vi's tirade, greeted his mother-in-law and Lily stiffly, then glowered at Severus and hissed, "You stay away from my wife and son, Snape. And keep your little freaky brat away too, I don't want my son contaminated by him."

He was slightly shorter than Severus, but broader in the chest and heavier, with dark hair and a mustache, but Severus was not intimidated in the least. He glared right back and snarled softly, "What's that supposed to mean, Dursley? Are you claiming Harry's not fit to play with your child because he's a wizard like I am?"

"Yes, Snape, that's exactly what I'm saying," sneered the other.

Severus sneered at him. "You're an imbecile, Dursley, like all the rest of your kind. Magic's not a disease, it's a gift, one that God saw fit not to grace fools like you with. But I'll keep Harry away from your precious boy, Dursley, because I don't want any of _your_ intolerable attitude to rub off on _him_." he raked the other man with a cold stare and said, "If that bigoted attitude doesn't kill you first, you might want to lay off the sweets , before you gorge yourself into an early grave. Gratis medical advice, no need to bill me, Dursley. But if you're too stupid to take it, that's your own bloody problem. Good afternoon." Then Severus spun about and strode out the back door, managing to keep from punching the nasty walrus by the slimmest of margins.

Behind him, he heard Vi and Lily light into the smug bastard and he permitted himself a small smile. Hell hath no fury like an Evans woman defending those she loved best.

But if Severus thought the Dursleys would leave after being lectured quite pointedly by both Vi and Lily, he was sadly mistaken. They stayed, unwilling to lose face, and mingled with several of the more snooty cousins, bragging about Vernon's account with Grunnings and Petunia boasted that her Dudley--the little angel-- was simply the smartest little boy as well as the cutest.

Right then, the "little angel" had managed to pull himself atop the table where most of the food was, Lily had charmed the dishes to keep food hot or cold as needed, and now Dudley decided to stuff himself with a bowlful of summer plums and then moved on to Aunt Muriel's ambrosia salad, scooping great handfuls of the sweet whipped topping, marshmallow, orange concoction into his mouth at an alarming rate.

Harry, who had been wanting to get another cookie from the table himself, had followed Dudley there and watched his cousin doing something he was pretty sure was not good. "Hey! You is not supposed to be up there, Duddy!" he yelled.

Dudley ignored him, continuing to eat.

Harry looked around for a growed-up, and the first two he spotted were his daddy and a man he had said was Pop Evan's brother, Uncle Charley. There were lots of men named uncle at this party, he mused, as he raced over to where they were sitting and tugged on Severus's sleeve.

"Daddy! Look!"

"In a minute, Harry, I'm talking with Uncle Charley," Severus replied.

"But Daddy, look what Duddy's doing to the pretty cakes and stuff. He's bad!"

Severus and Charley glanced up to see Dudley pick up a plastic fork, preparing to dive into Petunia's French three-layer cake.

"Jesus!" Charley swore. "What's that little brat think he's doing?"

"He eating my cake," Harry supplied, crying a little.

Severus rose from his chair and went to confront the roly-poly brat. He glanced about, but couldn't see Petunia or that obese whale Vernon anywhere. So it fell to him to discipline the wayaward scamp.

"Stop that at once!" Severus ordered sternly. He plucked Dudley from the middle of the dessert portion of the table. "if you're hungry, you ask for some, don't just go and take it. Now come here!'

The blond child immediately began to howl and struggle. "Down! Duddy go DOWN! Now! Want it! Mine! MINE!"

Severus tucked the squirming bundle under an arm and marched back to where Charley was sitting. "Not yours, boy. Didn't your mother ever teach you any manners?"

Dudley, furious that his food was being taken away, fought Severus like a demon, kicking and biting. "MINE! MINE! WANT IT!"

"No. Bad little boys like you don't get dessert," Severus told the howling child. "They get put in time-out."

And he took a picnic bench and faced it towards a tree next to his table, set the bawling two-year-old on it, and declared, "Five minutes, young man."

"NO! NO!" Dudley screeched, throwing himself off the bench and having a full-blown breath-stealing temper tantrum.

Charley looked on the red-face plump child in distaste. "Kid's a spoiled little brat. Needs a good spanking, in my opinion."

Severus nodded, then reached down to put the child back on the stool. Dudley turned, saw who it was, and sank his teeth into Sev's hand.

"Ow! Little bugger!" the Healer swore, and gave the boy a brief spank on the behind. "No biting! Biting is bad, little boy." He set the child back on the bench, ignoring the howls.

"Don't you bite my daddy!" Harry cried. "Now you is getting hot sauce, mister!"

At last recognizing the howls for those of her own child and not someone else's, Petunia came running over, fearing he was hurt. "Duddy! Dudley sweetums, where are you? What's wrong, precious?"

"Mummy! Bad man 'tole my cake! I wants it, Mummy! NOW!" Dudley screeched, huge tears falling down his face.

Over the course of the afternoon, that phrase out of the child's mouth had become all too familiar to the other Evanses, as Dudley whined and howled whenever he didn't get his way, and in general behaved like the spoiled cosseted brat he was. Some of the aunts and cousins had dared to comment that Petunia shouldn't give in to him all the time, and she had sniffed and said that Dudley was highly sensitive and there was no harm in giving her darling sweets and whatever else he wanted if he would be happy.

"Snape!" Petunia hissed, upon seeing who it was that had her son a prisoner on the bench. "Get away from my baby! What do you think you're doing?"

"Disciplining him, Petunia, since you obviously never bothered."

"Why, how dare you?" she cried, incensed. "You have no right--you freaky insufferable--"

"Hold on there a minute, Tuney!" Charley ordered, giving his niece a warning look so reminiscent of Hal that Petunia froze. "Sev didn't hurt him none, he was wrecking all the desserts up there on the table, and all he did was take him off. Then your kid pitched a fit and bit him, an' Sev put him in time out."

"He has no right!"

"No? He's family an' family can punish family in my book," Charley drawled. "I punished you an' your sister a time or two, if you'll remember."

"That's different! You were blood_, he's _only here because he married my sister, and he's no better than he ought to be!" Then she shoved Severus aside and picked up her son, crooning, "Did the big bad man hurt you, sweetie? It's okay, Mummy's got you. Here, luv, what did you want, Mummy will give it to you." She stormed off, grabbing a piece of cake and a fork on the way.

Charley eyed them in disgust. "I don't know where that one came from, Sev, because she sure isn't like Hal or Vi. Got a stick up her arse all right, and she's gonna ruin that poor kid if she keeps spoiling him the way she's doing."

Severus nodded grimly, rubbing his hand. Harry climbed on his lap then. "Duddy bad, right, Dad?"

"Yes, son. Dudley is very bad and don't you ever do anything like he just did, understand?"

Harry nodded. He knew quite well what would happen if he were ever as bad as that. "'Kay, Daddy. I be good. No time out."

Severus ruffled his hair. "That's my boy, Harry. Now, would you like some dessert?"

At Harry's eager nod, Severus rose and got him a piece of chocolate cake. He hoped the spoiled little brat had not given his impressionable son any ideas, for he had scant patience for such behavior, and Dudley had been grating on him all afternoon.

Unfortunately, that was not the end of the Dursleys disrupting the peace of the afternoon.

The children had split up according to age, the bigger ones playing cricket and badminton on the lawn, the slightly younger ones playing Duck-Duck-Goose and tag, while the littlest ones, like Harry and Mark, played with their toys and dug in the sandbox.

Dudley, growing bored with staying close to Petunia, who was chatting to some of her more fashion conscious cousins and not really paying attention to him, decided to go over to where Mark and Harry were playing in the sand box, happily digging and making "houses" with a pail and several shovels.

Neither boy would have minded Dudley playing along with them, but Dudley didn't know how to share or how to play with anyone, and when he saw a shovel and a pail that Mark was using, he shoved the other boy and ripped it out of his hand, yelling, "Mine! I wants it!"

Mark gaped at the larger boy and sniffled, "No! It mine! Gimme!" he tried to grab the shovel back, but Dudley pushed him hard and knocked him down on his bottom, then clonked him over the head with the pail for good measure.

The stunned Mark, having never been the victim of a bully before, began to sob and howl, and quickly got to his feet and fled, bawling to his mother.

Harry glared at Dudley. "Mean! You mean, Duddy!"

Dudley just looked at him, said, "Mine!" and settled down to dig in the sand.

Harry, upset at Dudley's unnecessary meanness towards Mark, left the sandbox and went to play with his dragon Smokey, and some of his other toys by himself.

Inside of five minutes, Dudley discovered it was no fun playing alone in the sandbox and looked to see where Harry had gone. Spotting him playing with a wonderful stuffed green dragon, Dudley trundled over, hands reaching greedily for the new toy, which was one he had never owned before.

"Mine! I play wif it!" Dudley yelled.

"No!" Harry scowled, clutching Smokey to him. He knew how to share from being at the center playing with Neville, but Smokey was his special toy, the one he slept with, and it was not one he ever permitted another child to have. Some toys, like Smokey, were not up for sharing, and especially not to mean little boys like Dudley.

Dudley turned beet red and screwed up his face in a truly ferocious scowl. "MINE!" he grasped the dragon's tail.

Harry gave him an equally ferocious glare, practically nose to nose with his bigger cousin. "NO! Smokey MY dragon, not yours! Go 'way, Duddy! No play wif me!" He pulled hard, but Dudley refused to release his hold.

A nasty tug-o-war ensued, with neither toddler giving an inch and both shrieking "MINE! MINE!" at the top of their lungs.

Lily, Severus, and Petunia, recognizing the sounds of a major fight involving their offspring, promptly left their seats and came to investigate. But by the time the adults reached them, it was too late.

The enthusiastic tugging on the poor old dragon's tail was too much, and the toy burst open, showering the screaming two-year-olds with cotton batting and Harry was left holding the top half of Smokey and Dudley the bottom half.

Harry, immediately sensing that something was wrong, took one look at his mangled beloved dragon and wailed hysterically. "My dragon! Wa-a-a-h-h! Smokey's DEAD!" He clutched the ruined dragon to his chest and sobbed heartbrokenly.

Dudley looked at the half of the ripped toy and said, "Humph! Broken! Dumb thing!"

That was too much for Harry. "Smokey's not dumb! _You_ are!" Then he reached out and clocked Dudley one across the face.

That was what Petunia saw as she came across the lawn, Harry smacking her precious Diddykins across the face and sobbing. Then Dudley was howling, for no one had ever struck him before, and Petunia went ballistic.

"You evil little freak! How dare you hurt my baby?" And she swooped down and picked up Harry and smacked him across the face, hard. Then she practically dumped him back on the ground, going to pick up her son and cuddle him.

Harry landed hard on his bottom and began bawling, his face hurt terribly and he was terrified and upset.

Lily yelled, "Petunia! What the bloody hell d'you think you're doing?"

Her sister whirled upon her. "Disciplining your brat, Lily!"

Before Lily could draw her wand, Severus was there, his eyes burning with fiery vengeance. He gave Petunia such a look of fury that she went deathly pale and scrambled backwards. "How _dare_ you strike my son like that, you bitch?"

"Payback, Snape, for your so-called discipline of mine!" Petunia snapped.

Severus fought to keep from hexing the smug woman or smacking her one. "You call that discipline, woman? Leaving a handprint on a child's _face_?"

"He deserved it, the little freak! He hit my Dudley!"

"Harry is _not_ a freak!" Lily cried, coming and picking up her son, her green eyes blazing. "And Sev never smacked Dudley like you did Harry, Tuney! Is that how you discipline _your_ son?"

"Of course not, _my_ son isn't a nasty bully like yours, Lily!"

Severus was looking at the torn pieces of the stuffed dragon, and his quick mind put two and two together without too much forethought. "Harry has never hit another child that way before, Mrs. Dursley," he snarled. "He was provoked by your child taking his favorite toy."

"What toy? That old rag on the ground?" sneered Petunia.

Severus clenched his fists and said through gritted teeth, "That rag is all that remains of Harry's stuffed dragon, Smokey, which they were fighting over just before you interfered."

He indicated the stuffing all over and in the two toddlers' hair and clothing, plus the two halves of the dragon, one on the ground and the other still clutched fast by a sobbing Harry. "It would seem from the evidence, _madam_, that your innocent son," here his voice dripped sarcasm like venom. " tried to take Harry's dragon and started a fight over it, resulting in the dragon being ripped in half. Now Harry was wrong to hit Dudley, but any two-year-old would react that way if his favorite toy was ripped apart before his eyes. And regardless, _you_ don't have the right to smack any child and leave a mark on him that way!"

Petunia glared at him. "No?" she queried, sweet poison on her tongue. "But he's family, Snape, and according to my uncle, family can discipline family."

Severus looked as if he were about to strangle her, and he kept repeating _You don't hit women, Severus, remember? She's a woman, a harpy bitch, but still a woman_ over and over to keep his temper in check.

Lily had no such qualms, however. She drew back her arm and smacked her sister hard in return, snarling, "Keep your hands off my son, you jealous bitch! If anybody needs a good smack, Petunia, it's you and your bloody spoiled brat! Why don't you take him and your damn lazy pig of a husband and go home? You've done nothing but snipe at my husband and my son all afternoon, don't think I haven't heard what you and those catty cousins were whispering about in the corner, about how I was a dried up widow who settled for the first man to glance her way. Severus is worth twenty of your Vernon any day of the week, and who gives a damn if he used to be dirt poor once upon a time? You forget, sister, that our grandfather started out life as a logger before he became a Navy officer, and you're no better than anybody else here, so quit giving yourself airs, you selfish cow!"

Petunia put a hand to her burning cheek, her mouth hanging open. "Well, Lily Ann, if you don't like people talking about you, why didn't you marry someone respectable instead of the son of the town drunk?"

"I _did_, Petunia! Severus is a doctor, and whatever his father was doesn't matter a bloody damn to me! Now get out of my sight before I really lose my temper and do something you'll regret." Lily hissed, and her finger crooked in warning.

Petunia went white and decided that discretion was the better part of valor and ran, ignoring the looks of satisfaction and amazement on the faces of her relatives and the utter disapproval on the faces of her parents, who had heard the whole argument.

She stomped past them and into the den, where Vernon had fallen asleep in front of the telly and bellowed, "Wake up, Vern! We're leaving! I cannot stomach another minute in the company of my sister, her brat, or her nasty scummy freak husband."

Vernon blinked sleepily. "Huh? What happened, Pet?"

Petunia ranted about her sister and Severus and Vernon got to his feet, his face reddening and vowed to go and teach that freaky grease ball a lesson, but before he could make good on his threat, Hal blocked his way, halting him with a hand and a look that caused the younger man to step back.

"That'll be enough, Vernon Dursley. Severus did nothing to your family and you will not attack him simply because you have an irrational prejudice towards wizards," Hal scolded. "Had I known the trouble you would cause, I'd have never issued that invitation."

'I never wanted to bloody come here anyhow." Vernon growled. "All of you are unnatural, associating with freaks like Snape."

Hal's eyes narrowed dangerously. "Watch what you say, Dursley. My daughter is one of those 'freaks' as you put it."

"Too bad," Vernon sneered.

Hal stomped down hard on his temper. "You are an ignorant lout, Dursley, no matter how much money you make or what kind of car you drive, and I am ashamed to call you my son-in-law."

Petunia gasped. "Dad, you can't mean that!"

Hal turned to her, stern and regretful at the same time. "I do mean it, Tuney. And your actions today have shamed me as well. Striking a defenseless child that way, speaking ill of your sister and her husband, I didn't raise you to behave in such a manner, young lady."

"You always take Lily's side! Why aren't you ashamed of her, Dad?"

"I'm ashamed of both of you, for starting a quarrel in front of half of our family," Hal said sternly. "But you are the one who instigated it, Petunia, from the minute you walked in the door and started making comments about Severus. I don't know where you developed this . . .prejudice against magic and those who use it, but until you can accept Severus and Harry for who and what they are, you are no longer welcome in my house. I will not have you turning my home into a battlefield." Hal crossed his arms over his chest. "So, the choice is yours. Leave your prejudice behind or don't visit again until you do. That goes for you too, Mr. Vernon Dursley."

Petunia stared at him, her eyes glistening with furious tears. "Fine! I'd rather not be in the same house with anyone who welcomes Severus Snape, he's nothing but trouble and one day Lily will regret ever marrying him. And her son is cut from the same cloth! Goodbye, Father. You may keep Christmas without us, thank you very much. Let's go, Vernon. You were right, we should have attended the office party instead."

Then the Dursleys sailed out the door, got in their expensive car, and roared away.

Hal heaved a long sigh. "May God forgive me, but good riddance to them!" he muttered, then went out back to smooth things over with his guests.

In a far corner of the yard, Severus held Harry on his lap and gently applied a small amount of magical salve to the little boy's cheek. It would heal the nasty red mark overnight, and he held and soothed the distraught child, while Lily cast a mending charm upon poor abused Smokey, restoring the green dragon to his former beloved velvet self.

"I'm so sorry, Sev, about my sister," Lily began, not looking up at her husband. "I had a bad feeling when she showed up."

"It wasn't your fault, Lil. Petunia and I have never gotten on, and she simply has gotten worse over the years. I expected no better from her, she has never forgiven us for having magic when she never could, or you for liking the dirt poor son of the town drunk, as she put it."

Lily picked up the now mended Smokey and gave it to her son, who cried, "Smokey is all better!" and hugged the dragon to him.

Then Lily Evans Snape came and put her arms around her husband and her son and whispered, "I could have chosen no better when I married you, Severus Snape. You and Harry are worth more than all the Galleons in Gringotts and more than Petunia's jackass of a husband and my spoiled nephew will ever be. I am proud to be your wife, Sev, and Harry is proud to be your son too, only he's too young to know it yet. And I'll smack anyone who dares to say otherwise into next week."

Severus smiled up at his fiery wife and said, "Your mother ought to have called you Bouadiccea instead of Lily, beloved. For you defend your own just like that warrior queen did the Iceni from the Romans. I'm luckier than I deserve."

Lily rested her head on his shoulder and smiled. "I love you, Sev."

"How about me, Mummy?" asked a little voice.

"Of course I love you, Harry. My Healer and my little mischief maker. You are my everything." Lily replied and the three remained together beneath the canopy of a great oak tree until Vi came to find them and ask how Harry was and offer them tea and dessert and an apology for her eldest's abominable behavior.

**Well, that was quite a reunion, huh? Did you like how the Evans and Severus handled the Dursleys? **

**Thanks to all my reviewers, you are awesome!  
**


	16. Severus & the Terrible 2yrold Brat

**Severus Snape & the Terrible Two-Year-Old Brat**

__

November 15, 1982

Snape residence

Aspen Avenue

It had been a month since the Evans family reunion and the quarrel with the Dursleys. Lily had not seen or spoken to her sister since then, and told her husband that frankly she wasn't going to lose any sleep over it. "We were close once, as kids, but ever since she learned that I had magic and friends other than herself, Petunia has become more like an acquaintance than a family member, sad to say. If she would just learn to let go of her snotty attitude, i might be willing to forgive her, but until then I'm not holding my breath."

In the interim, Severus and Lily had been very busy settling into their new roles as family members. One of the first orders of business had been finalizing the adoption papers for Harry to become Severus's son. The adoption was now official, though both Lily and Severus agreed to let Harry keep Potter as his surname, to honor his father, James. If he wished, when he came of age, he could change it to Snape, but that decision was far in the future, and for right now, all that mattered was that Harry was legally Severus's son. Harry had taken Sev's new role as a father surprisingly well, switching from calling him "Sevvy" to calling him "Daddy" within a few weeks of Severus living with then on Merlin Avenue. He loved the fact that Severus was there all the time now, and he could see him every day and ask him ten million questions and play with him and be read to every night.

The Snapes had recently purchased a brand-new house with a fenced backyard, selling their old residences and combining the money from the sales to purchase the little house on Aspen Avenue, which was a wizarding residence on a long windy street ending in a culdesac, with a small park on one side and lots of neighbors with children Harry could play with. Most of the families living there knew Master Healer Snape, he was their Healer, or had delivered them, in the case of the children, and they were happy to welcome the Healer's new family into the neighborhood.

Since Severus worked long hours, Lily opted to stay at home with Harry for most of the time, though Severus encouraged her to go back to the Auror Department and fill in one or two days a week, as a temporary Auror, if someone were sick or injured or needed help on a case. Lily was only too happy to revive her career, and put Harry in the facility daycare if Severus weren't home to watch him.

"I see nothing wrong with you working again, Lil, if that is what you wish to do," Severus had told her earnestly the day they signed the papers for the closing on the new house. "Plenty of women who are mothers have careers nowadays, and you can too."

Lily was profoundly touched by her new husband's outlook and understanding. For while she adored her son to pieces, a part of her had longed to go back to being a dark wizard catcher, she had missed the challenge of hunting down criminals and helping others. Being a mother had its own set of challenges and rewards, to be sure, but a lot of it was routine, and Lily had sometimes felt as if she were stagnating.

Sirius, Remus, Alice, and Captain Moody had welcomed her back to the fold, and now she worked two days a week, assisting with difficult cases and so forth. Harry got to play with the other children of Aurors at the center, like Neville and learned how to interact with children his own age, sharing and taking turns and playing.

Harry was bright and friendly and generally didn't display much of his mother's fiery temper, but lately he'd been testing his boundaries more than usual, as he was now at the stage known as "The Terrible Twos". The little boy could be stubborn as ten mules when he chose to be, and when he made up his mind, it took the patience of an angel to change it. Thus far, he hadn't really tested his new father all that much, until about six weeks or so before Christmas, when he woke up moody and cross, wanting Lily to stay home and read to him.

But Lily had work that day, and Severus was off, so she regretfully kissed the sulky boy goodbye and left for the Auror Department, leaving Harry and Severus to eat breakfast together. "Be good, Harry. I love you, bye!" Lily blew the toddler a kiss before departing through the Floo network.

Harry waved, frowning, then whined when Sev picked him up and brought him into the kitchen to eat breakfast. "I is not hungwy, Daddy. I want Mummy to come home."

Severus set him in his special booster chair so he could reach the top of the table easily, and said, "Mummy will be home soon, Harry. After you eat breakfast, how about we go do some shopping for Christmas?"

"Kistmas?" Harry repeated, still pouting. "Do I get a toy?"

"Maybe, if you behave. But we need to go Christmas shopping for a present for Mum, all right?"

Harry nodded. "For Mummy and me!" he sang.

"Just so, scamp!" Sev reached over and ruffled his son's hair. "Now, finish your cereal with bananas and we'll get you dressed and then we can go."

Harry frowned, he didn't want to eat, he wanted to leave now, and go to the toy store. "No, Daddy. No beakfast! I want to go buy a toy."

Severus eyed the little boy sternly, for he didn't like the imperious tone Harry was using. It reminded him far too much of a certain other little boy, Harry's cousin, Dudley. "After you eat breakfast, Harry. Otherwise no toy."

Harry sniffled and pouted, staring at his bowl of corn flakes and bananas rebelliously. "Not hungwy."

Severus frowned, he didn't like this new attitude of Harry's at all. "You love corn flakes and bananas," he reminded his son. Then he picked up the spoon and held it out to the reluctant toddler. "Here. Open wide."

Harry clamped his mouth shut, ignoring Sev's attempts to put the cereal and fruit into his mouth.

Severus decided to try a different approach. "Fine. Then I'll eat it." He promptly ate the cereal.

"No! You eat you OWN, Dad!" wailed the stubborn little imp. "That is MINE!"

"Oh? But if you're not going to eat it, Harry, then I have to, since I won't waste good food." Severus countered.

"No! No! It mine, not yours!" perversely, even though Harry didn't feel like eating, he didn't want anyone else eating _his_ food either.

"Well, Mr. Potter, you'd better eat it then, or else."

Harry shook his head mutinously. "NO! I not!"

Severus scowled. "Harry James Severus, either you eat your breakfast this instant, or else you can sit in time out and we can skip going to Diagon Alley today. Understand?"

"I not _want_ to!"

"One."

Harry kicked the table.

"Two."

The little boy gazed up at his father, and seeing Severus wearing his "mad face", decided he was a little hungry after all, and picked up his spoon.

Once Harry had eaten at least half of his cereal, Severus quickly dressed him in a warm pair of blue sweatpants and a sweatshirt with a cauldron on it that read "Little Potions Prodigy", tied on his pair of glow-in-the-dark trainers, and then got dressed himself in a casual set of black pants, fleece-lined boots, and a blue shirt, complete with an ankle-length brown duster and scarf. This November was unusually raw and nippy for London, and he made sure Harry was wearing his mittens, scarf and jacket as well.

The little boy fussed, he hated getting bundled up, but Severus simply ignored the whining and then picked up his son and Apparated to Diagon Alley. He hoped to find something extra special for Lily for Christmas, and Diagon Alley was the best place to find unusual one-of-a-kind presents.

Harry squirmed to get down. "Down, Dad! I walk!"

"Only if you hold my hand, child," Severus ordered.

"'Kay." Harry agreed, and held Severus's hand as they made their way through the cobblestone streets towards a small store called Brunhilda's Treasures, which sold everything from teapots to original signed grimoires.

On the way, they passed Eeylop's Owl Emporium, and Harry suddenly tore free of Sev's grip and ran into the store, yelling, "Birdies! Pretty birdies! I see them!"

The owls, startled by a little child shrieking and running towards them, flew off their perches and around their cages frantically.

Harry laughed, not understanding he was scaring them and tried to touch one.

The owl nearly nipped his finger, but the proprietor, a wizard named Mark Flicker, grabbed his hand away in the nick of time. "Hey, kid! You can't pet those owls, some of 'em bite," he scolded. "And don't shout, you'll scare 'em. Owls don't like loud noises."

"Birdies a'scared?"

"Yeah, they are. Where's your mum or dad, kid?"

"Harry! Harry, come back here!" came Severus's rather frantic and angry voice.

He dashed into the shop, scanning it swiftly, until he spotted the little boy in the green and white jacket being held by Flicker. "Ah, _there_ you are, young man. What do you mean, running off like that?" He strode towards the pair.

"Wanted to see birdies, Daddy."

"You don't run away like that, Harry. That was very bad. You nearly got lost." Severus scolded, kneeling down to look his son in the eye.

"No I didn'!" the scamp insisted. "I not lost, I was seeing them birdies."

"Yes, you did. If you're not holding onto my hand, then you're lost, Harry. And you'll never see me or Mum again. Is that what you want?"

"No," Harry answered, after thinking it over a minute. "Am I in trouble?"

"You will be if you pull this stunt again, mister. Hold onto my hand and don't let go, I don't care what you see. Otherwise no toy and you can sit in time out when we get home."

"'Kay, Daddy. I be good." He took Severus's hand.

"Thank you for finding him," Severus told Mark.

"Wasn't a problem, sir," Mark reassured him. "He's a cute little devil though."

"Yes, but he's also mischief incarnate," sighed Severus. "Come along, Harry. We still need to find a present for your mother."

But Harry balked. "Want to pet birdies, Dad."

"Harry, the owls are afraid and might bite you. Now come on."

Harry started to cry. "No-o-o! Pet birdies!"

"Harry James Severus, don't make me count to three."

Harry stamped a foot on the floor. "Pet birdies!"

"Let's go, Harry. Now!" Severus ordered, embarrassed at how the child was acting, just like his spoiled brat cousin. He practically dragged the little boy out the door.

Harry wailed for about half a block, but Severus could tell it wasn't a real cry, merely a whiny I-didn't-get-my-way sort of cry, which set his teeth on edge. "Harry, you'd better quit acting like a spoiled brat, or else you'll be in serious trouble."

He was beginning to regret taking the child along with him, for Harry was cranky and irritable. He considered going back home and making the child take a nap, but he was almost to the store now and hopefully Harry would behave long enough for him to choose a present for Lily and leave. _Why, of all the times to turn into a cranky little brat, did it have to be now, when I have to be in public and shop for a present? I have to get this now, there's no telling what might be left if I come back here when I'm off again next week. Brunhilda's items go quicker than Vanishing Powder._

They walked past other wizards and witches, busily shopping for that special someone, a few with kids in tow, others alone. And more than a few with little kids were dragging them kicking and screaming away from the sweet shop and the toy store, Severus observed while groaning inwardly. Not wanting to deal with another tantrum, he quickly crossed to the other side of the street, so Harry didn't see the sweet shop, but then a seven-year-old went past them with a dragon-shaped lollipop and Harry saw it.

"Daddy, I want one!" He pointed to the blue spun sugar pop. "Just like that one. I want a dragon pop!"

"Later, Harry. Right now we need to get Mummy's present," Severus reminded, picking him up.

"No! I want it _now_!"

"I _said_ later. Now hush that whining, it's driving me crazy."

Harry fought to get down, but Severus was having none of it. He held the struggling child firmly against his shoulder. Harry grew frustrated when he couldn't get his way, and kicked at the Master Healer, sobbing, "I want a dragon pop!"

"Harry, stop it!" the exasperated Severus cried, swatting his son's bottom. "I don't know what's gotten into you today. I think you're channeling your spoiled brat cousin."

Harry began to howl loudly, even though the swat didn't hurt all that much, it was more of a warning and Sev didn't put much force behind it.

The exasperated Healer considered casting a Silencing charm on his son, and sparing his eardrums and everyone else's the ruckus. But using magic like that on a child was against the law, so Severus just gritted his teeth and endured the piercing howls and hurried as quickly as he dared down the street.

Abruptly he halted, as a new thought occurred to him about why harry was so cranky. Perhaps he wasn't feeling well? He drew his wand and sat down on a nearby bench. "All right, scamp, hush, I barely tapped you, now quit with the crocodile tears." He set Harry on his lap and said, "Do you feel sick? Is that why you're so cranky and out-of-sorts?" he waved his wand and performed a standard diagnostic.

It came back normal, Harry wasn't feverish or achy, he was perfectly healthy. Severus was relieved but at the same time annoyed, for that meant Harry had no reason to behave so badly, except out of sheer willfulness. "Well, you're not sick, so that means you're in a bad mood and you're just going to have to get over it."

But Harry didn't want to get over it. He wanted his father to buy him something, and so far he had gotten nothing on this trip except a scolding and smack. Not what he had been expecting at all. It was turning out to be the worst shopping trip ever. He gave his mean father an angry look from his big green eyes and declared loudly, "You is _mean_ n' nasty, an' I don' like you, Dad!"

People going by giggled and chuckled and Severus longed to turn himself invisible, he was so embarrassed. "Harry, is that nice?" he demanded.

Harry just glared at him sulkily and muttered, "Meanie!"

Several witches passing by with children a little older than Harry gave Severus sympathetic glances and one said, "That was me yesterday, so don't feel too bad."

"It's the terrible twos," said another, and sighed. "Merlin, am I glad that's over with!"

"How long does it last?" Severus asked warily, not sure if he wanted to know the answer.

"Well, mine acted like a hellion until he was three and a half, but some grow out of it earlier and some later. It just depends," the brown-haired witch offered. "You'll survive, hopefully."

After that word of encouragement, the witch and her friends left and Severus conjured a handkerchief and wiped Harry's face, he had finally quit crying. "Listen, scamp, I'm not being mean, but you can't have everything you want, and if you're good, I'll take you to Trimelda's Toys and you can pick out a little toy, okay?" The toy store was right across the street, next to Brunhilda's Treasures.

But Harry had enough of waiting and he spotted the glittering sign and the large entryway with its open doors, showing all kinds of toys, from puppets to stuffed animals to toy brooms and mini playsets. "I go get a toy now, Daddy!" he shrieked and slipped off Sev's lap and raced across the street before the astonished Severus could stop him.

"Harry! Merlin's bloody beard, get back here!" bellowed the Healer, furious.

The child ignored him, gleefully running as fast as his little legs could carry him into the toy store and vanishing among the aisles of toys.

Severus sprinted across the street, swearing profusely under his breath. _When I get my hands on you, Harry James Severus, you're going to be one sorry little brat! And I'm never taking you shopping with me again._

By the time he reached the toy store, there was no sign of his little imp anywhere in view. "Harry! Harry, where the hell are you?" he yelled, looking about at the huge stuffed dragons flanking the entryway to a department called Animal Forest, where there were dozens upon dozens of stuffed animals, from hippogriffs to unicorns and dogs to zebras. "Harry, come over here, right now!"

But Harry didn't come and Severus whirled upon a skinny girl with glasses and freckles holding a stuffed panther and said, "Did you happen to see a little boy, dark hair, wearing a blue sweatsuit, go in there? I'm looking for my son."

"Umm, nope. Sorry, mister."

"Ahh, Merlin blast it!" Severus walked into the so-called forest and continued calling and searching growing more and more frantic and angry by the minute.

He checked the entire department, which took five minutes and then he pulled out his wand and cast a locator charm, cursing himself for not thinking of it before. _Use your head, Snape, instead of running around like a cockatrice with its head turned to stone._

The spell pulled him deeper into the store, until he finally spotted his wayward son inside the mock Hogwarts Express, pretending to toot the horn and steer the engine and holding a toy version of the original in his left hand. Harry grinned down at him, the train display was atop a wooden platform. "Daddy! Look at me! I drive the train! And I want this one!"

"Harry James Severus Potter, come over here this instant!" yelled Severus. "We're going home, and the only thing you're going to be getting is a seven-minute time out and maybe a spanking." Now Severus had never spanked the little boy, but right then he was angry enough to threaten and perhaps even do so.

"NO! I don't wanna go home! I wanna play wif the train!"

"_Now_, young man! One."

Harry began bawling hysterically. "NO! NO! NO! YOU go home! You're not my daddy!"

People were staring and Severus had had enough. He stepped up onto the platform and reached inside the train to pick up his son, who threw himself on the floor, screaming bloody murder, kicking and pounding the floor in a red-faced fury. "NO GO! NO GO! PLAY WIF TRAIN!"

Severus was certain they could hear him in Hong Kong, and he wished he had never gotten out of bed this morning. It was bad enough watching other kids throw fits in stores and whatnot, but it was ten times worse when your own was doing it, he discovered to his mortification. He felt like he was watching Dudley at the reunion all over again, and a part of him wondered just what had happened to cause Harry to suddenly revert to a screaming, demanding, spoiled brat. Was it because he'd seen his cousin act that way? And seen as well that Petunia had actually _rewarded_ her child for such awful behavior? Because if so, Severus knew he had to teach Harry that throwing tantrums got you nothing but trouble. For there was no way Severus was going to put up with having a royal spoiled brat for a son.

"Two." He continued counting.

Harry continued to scream and kick, nearly incoherent with fury.

"Three. Now we're going home, young man." And with that, he snatched his wriggling screeching son up off the floor, tossed him over his shoulder, and walked out of the toy store, Harry still wailing about playing with the trains. It was the longest five minutes of Severus's life, and he prayed that someone didn't call the Aurors to arrest him for kidnapping, for Harry was screaming, "I HATE you and you're NOT my daddy no more!" Thankfully, everyone seemed to be looking the other way. Once he was safely outside of the store, he Apparated back home, where he put his naughty son in his room on his bed.

"I want you to stay in here until you calm down," Severus told him, then turned and left the room.

The Healer realized it was also important for him to calm down, for he didn't want to punish his son in a temper, and so he left Harry in his room alone for five minutes. He could hear the little boy throw himself on the floor and for about two minutes there was screeching and pounding and then it seemed as if Harry had finally exhausted himself.

Sev waited the full five minutes, allowing himself to get his own temper under wraps before returning to find Harry sitting up on the floor, his face scarlet and streaked with angry tears. "Are you quite finished, Mr. Potter?"

Harry hiccuped and murmured, "Uh huh. But I want the train."

Severus sighed and picked him up, bringing him into the kitchen, where he wet a dishcloth and washed Harry's face. Then he took the child on his lap and said sternly, "Harry, what you did today, throwing a tantrum in a store, was very very bad. You also ran away from me after I told you to hold my hand, and that's why you're not getting any toy today and only a time-out plus two swats and a long nap."

Harry started to cry again. "No! No time out! I's sorry!" That was the most dreaded punishment, since the active two-year-old hated being made to sit still and stare at nothing but a wall.

"Good, but sorry doesn't get you out of punishment." Severus said firmly, hardening his heart against the woeful green-eyed gaze and the pathetic pout Harry leveled at him. "Next time, behave and don't throw tantrums or run away from me, because _this_ is what happens to naughty little boys like that." And then he suited action to words, giving the child two firm spanks and then putting him in the Time Out Corner for seven-minutes, which seemed like forever to the toddler.

Harry wriggled and fidgeted, crying quietly, his bottom stung a bit, but oddly enough did not seem inclined to test Severus any more that day, and remained sitting on the stool until Sev released him. Then he darted off the stool and flung himself into the Healer's arms, saying he was sorry and promising to be good.

"All right, scamp. You're forgiven, just don't ever do that again." Severus held the repentant child close for a long time, and Harry, relieved that his daddy was no longer mad at him, put his head on Sev's shoulder and promptly fell asleep, he had worn himself out completely.

Severus placed the sleeping imp in his bed and thought about summoning a bottle of firewhiskey. If this was what the terrible twos were like, he wasn't sure his sanity would survive. And he had a sinking feeling that this was only the beginning.

* * * * * *

When Lily came home that afternoon, she asked how Sev's day off with Harry had gone, and her husband answered honestly, "It was a nightmare, Lil. He threw the worst tantrum I've ever seen, right in the middle of Trimelda's Toys . . ."

Lily groaned. "Oh, Merlin, Sev! I think we're going to have our hands full." Then she kissed him and suddenly he felt better, despite the day's catastrophe and the fact that he still hadn't gotten her a present for Christmas. Lily could always make him feel better, no matter what.

"How do other parents survive this?" he murmured as he twined his fingers in her hair.

"I don't know, but I think I'm going to ask my mother." Lily replied, leaning into Severus's embrace.

"A brilliant idea," Severus agreed. Hopefully, Vi could tell him how to survive this phase without going totally round the bend and throttling his imp of a son.

**Poor Sev & Lily! And it just gets worse next chapter!**

Thanks to all my reviewers for sticking with me.


	17. House Call at Hogwarts

House Call at Hogwarts

When Severus and Lily saw Vi that Saturday, they asked her what to do about Harry's sudden penchant for naughtiness and tantrums whenever he didn't get his way. Severus expressed his concern that Harry was acting up because of Dudley's influence, but Vi said that was only part of the problem.

"It's true children mimic other children's behavior sometimes, to see what they can get away with, but I think that Harry's testing you, in particular, Sev, to see how far he can go. Remember, this is the first time he's ever had a positive male influence in the home who is actually around longer than a few weeks, and while he respects you, he also feels the need to rebel against your authority as well. That's typical behavior for his age, Sev. This is when kids test you to the max, and the time when you need a few stiff drinks sometimes at the end of the day. Petunia used to throw screaming fits every day, especially when she thought I was paying more attention to Lily. She was a particularly demanding child, which is where Dudley gets it from."

"Now that I can believe. How about Lily?"

"Lily was much more calm, unless you did something to hurt her or took away something she wanted. Then she turned into a screaming demon. Petunia used to tease her something awful when she was little, taking away toys Lily was playing with and hiding them just to make her cry, and then she acted like she didn't know what happened."

Sev huffed. "A troublemaker and a liar even then," he muttered under his breath, for though he disliked Petunia, he didn't want to hurt Vi's feelings by speaking ill of her daughter openly. "What did you do about it?"

"Pretty much the same as you and Lily are doing," Vi said. "Time out, scolding, an occasional smack or two on the behind. It's a stage that eventually they grow out of, but it seems to last forever when you're going through it. But the most important thing to remember is firmness and consistency. Never ever say you'll do something and then not follow through on it. That only confuses the kid and makes him think that you don't always mean what you say."

"I understand, Vi. I always try to keep my punishments consistent and keep my promises." Severus said. "I learned that from my mother."

"You'll be fine, Sev. Just take it one day at a time, and if you find yourself about to explode, walk away and count to thirty ten times. That always helped me. And remember, nobody's perfect, so if you make a mistake, it isn't the end of the world. Parenting is nine parts trial and error." Vi sighed. "But, oh, I remember those days, and how sometimes I just wanted to run screaming down the street. If he really starts getting to you, Sev, call me and I'll give you a break. Don't feel bad, either, because we all need a break now and then, even you, Master Healer Snape."

"Thank you, Vi," Severus said sincerely, though he didn't think he would ever need to take her up on it. What kind of parent would he be if he couldn't handle a two-year-old?

"Another thing you might want to try is a system of rewards and punishments. I used to keep a chart on the wall with colored stickers for my girls. They called it a Star Chart, because when they were good, and didn't fight with each other or took turns or helped out around the house that day, they got a blue star, if they got five blue stars in a week, then they got a gold one. If they got three gold ones, they got to go to a movie or to the store and pick out a toy or a book or, when they were older, they got money or extra phone time or slept over a friend's house. If they misbehaved, answered me back, or didn't do their chores, they got no star that day and got grounded or whatever."

"I remember that, Mum," Lily said, smiling reminiscently. "And Tuney used to try and steal my stars sometimes, so she had more, but you always knew and she'd get in trouble for lying."

Vi nodded. "Tuney always thought she could outsmart me, but I wasn't born yesterday, and my oldest sister, Esmerelda, God rest her, was the same way, so I was wise to her little schemes."

"I'll try the chart with Harry and see how it works. Maybe it will motivate him to be good instead of bad," Lily said, and her husband agreed with her.

They took her advice to heart and though there were days when they both longed to rip out their hair or paddle Harry till he couldn't sit for a week, by and large Harry was slowly learning not to test them, since whenever he did so, the consequences were not to his liking. He enjoyed looking at the large white chart Lily had drawn and stuck to the wall of the kitchen, which had labels like _Eats Breakfast Well, Takes a Nap, Picks Up Toys, Shares, No Screaming, No Biting, Goes to Bed on Time, Uses the Potty, No Tantrums._ Severus was teaching him how to count, and used the chart to show Harry how many stars he had for a day or a week. The first gold star Harry earned was celebrated with ice cream sundaes and ten bedtime stories.

And since Christmas was coming, Lily also used the old standby, "Father Christmas is watching you, and if you're very naughty, you'll get no presents on Christmas."

"How he see me, Mum?"

"Oh, Father Christmas has special magic to keep an eye on all the little children and he can see through walls and everything," Lily answered. "He keeps a book with all the kids names on it and the good kids get gold stars and the bad ones get a big black check mark, and if you get too many then your name goes in the Naughty Book and then he knows to pass over you on Christmas Eve, because naughty little boys don't get visited by Father Christmas."

"I not that naughty, am I?" Harry asked, alarmed.

"I would hope not, Mr. Potter. I know you can be a good boy, Harry." Lily kissed the top of his head.

Harry gave her an angelic smile and hugged her back. "I be good, Mummy. Then I get presents from Father Kistmas."

But since he was only two, Harry tended to forget his promises in a day or less. So it was a week later, Severus was off and happened to get an urgent Floo call from his old professor, Minerva McGonagall, asking if he would please come to Hogwarts, the Headmaster was very ill, and refused to stay in bed, insisting he was fine.

"I'm ready to shove him in the bed and cast a Sticking Charm on him, Severus, or sit on him, Merlin help me!" Minerva declared. "Poppy's on vacation this week, and her substitute is a wet-behind-the-ears mousy nurse just out of medical school that thinks Albus is God, gets all starry-eyed when he smiles at her, the silly twit! She would never dream of contradicting him, no matter how sick he was. You're the only Healer I know with backbone enough to stand up to the old fool and make him take care of himself. Can you please come to Hogwarts, Severus? Before I have a coronary and you've got two patients to treat?"

"I'm on my way, Minerva. But I'm going to have to bring Harry with me, since Lily's at work."

"Good! I haven't seen him since last year and I'd love to spend some time with him," Minerva said, smiling.

"Very well. Let me get him and his bag packed and we'll be over." Severus said, then withdrew from the fireplace and went to find Harry and tell him they were going to Hogwarts to visit Auntie Min and Uncle Al.

* * * * * *

It had been a year since Harry had been to visit Minerva and Albus, and so it wasn't too surprising that he barely remembered them. He had last seen them at his first birthday party, and the most he remembered from that was the big chocolate cake with vanilla frosting he had eaten while making a very big mess. Minerva was waiting for them, when Severus stepped through the fireplace into the Great Hall, carrying Harry and a small bag with some baby necessities over his shoulder.

"Hello, Harry!" she cooed when she saw the adorable little tyke. "Oh, Sev, he's gotten so much bigger since last time!"

"I is a big boy now," Harry informed her solemnly.

"You certainly are. Come and give your Auntie Min a kiss." She held out her arms.

"O'tay!" Harry cried, he instinctively liked her, even if she seemed a bit stern, and went willingly into her arms and planted a great big kiss on her cheek. Minerva hugged him and kissed him back.

"I'm so glad to see you again, Harry. You know, your dad and mum used to go to school here when they were little and someday you will too."

"I wanna go to kool here, Auntie Min," Harry said. "Daddy says I is a wizard like him an' Mummy."

"That's very true, child. And I'm sure you'll be a wonderful student at Hogwarts." Then she turned to Severus. "Albus is in his office, reading his latest dispatches from the Ministry. I tried to make him lie down, but the old coot wouldn't listen to me, and I'm certain he's got a fever."

"I'll see what I can do for him, Minerva. Perhaps he'll be more inclined to listen to me," Severus said, adding silently, _If all else fails, I'm authorized to cast a Body Bind on my patients for their own wellbeing. And I'll do it too, if he proves too stubborn to listen to reason._ Though that was a method of last resort, and Severus preferred not to have to resort to it.

They exited the Great Hall, Harry still being held by the Scottish witch, and she supplied the password to the revolving staircase that led to the Headmaster's office. Harry's eyes went wide as the gargoyle revolved and allowed them passage up the stairs, but he said nothing until she knocked on the door of Dumbledore's office and was bid to enter.

As soon as Harry caught sight of the bearded old man with the half-moon spectacles sitting behind the massive oak desk, writing with a white ostrich feather quill, he confused him with another well-known figure that also sported a white beard, whom he had just seen last week at the local mall.

"Father Kistmas! You is here too?"

Albus looked up, his blue eyes twinkling, and gave the precocious tot a smile. "I have been called many things before, but that is the first time any child has considered me a saint."

Minerva snorted and muttered, "Don't get full of yourself, you stubborn old garrin,"

Severus smothered a chuckle, for a garrin was a mountain pony in Scots dialect and his son's misconception was quite amusing. "Harry that's not Father Christmas-" he began, only to be interrupted by Albus coughing.

The old man coughed long and deeply, the spasms wracking his frame and Severus frowned in concern and approached, opening his black medicus satchel and pulling out three potions. "Albus, you really ought to be in bed, by the sound of that cough."

"Daddy!" Harry cried, staring at the old man. "Father Kistmas sick, make him better!"

"I'll try, Harry. Now hush." Severus ordered quietly. "Albus, how long have you had that cough?"

"Not long, my boy. I caught a mild cold, nothing to concern yourself about," Albus replied offhandedly. "You know Min, she's an alarmist."

Severus lifted an eyebrow. "I do know Minerva, Albus, and she would never summon me for anything like a "mild cold"." He drew his wand. "If you'll permit me to examine you, Headmaster, I can determine if it's nothing more than a cold."

Albus eyed the Healer's wand nervously. "Severus, that's really not necessary, I assure you, I'm fine-"

"Aye, ye stubborn auld idiot," Minerva burst out, her accent becoming more pronounced in the heat of her temper. "So fine that you're gonna keel over an' claim you're healthy when they nail shut your coffin, ye daft looby!" She whirled on Severus. "Dinna listen t'him, Healer Snape, the fever's addled his wits. Examine him, I gi' ye my permission, as Deputy Headmistress."

Dumbledore gaped at his colleague, too astonished at McGonagall's pulling rank on him to protest in time.

Severus, no fool, took advantage of the opportunity and cast a diagnostic spell. Three minutes later he reported the findings. "You've got a high fever and a congestion in your lungs that's beginning to turn into pneumonia, general exhaustion, and your magic's weakened too, from you casting Glamour Charms on yourself to keep everyone from guessing how sick you really are, Albus Dumbledore!"

"Glamour Charms!" exclaimed Minerva. "Why you sly old fox! No wonder I dinna notice till now!" She wagged a finger at the older wizard. "For shame, Albus!"

To his credit, Dumbledore did look like a naughty little boy caught out in some prank. "Now, Min, I didn't want you to worry . . ."

"By doing that, you've worsened your condition, and now she'll worry ten times as much," Severus interjected sternly. "You need complete bed rest for a week and two doses of my Decongestion Draft and Fever Reducer and a Class Four Pain Reliever plus a mild Sleeping Draught every day. And I think a cleansing steam bath as well, otherwise you'll get full-blown pneumonia, Albus, and if that happens, I'm sending you straight to St. Mungos, since pneumonia in a man your age can be deadly."

"Ha! Y'see?" Minerva declared triumphantly to Harry. "Perfectly fine my clan tartan."

Dumbledore looked faintly chastened, but still unrepentant. "Severus, my boy, I cannot possibly take off a week, the Minister has asked me to-"

"As your Healer, Albus, I must insist. You need to go to bed immediately. After you've taken that steam bath and some of my potions," Severus amended quickly. "If you don't do as I say, the Minister is going to have to find himself a new Chief Warlock, because you'll be in critical care in St. Mungos." He gave the old wizard a glare worthy of Tobias. "If I have to, I'll bind you to your bed," he threatened.

Albus coughed again, then paled. "You wouldn't really do that, Severus. Taking advantage of an old man that way . . ."

"If necessary, I will," Severus remained firm, though the pleading gaze was hard to resist. Luckily, he'd had plenty of practice with a certain emerald-eyed toddler. "I will do whatever is necessary to help my patient get well, up to and including putting them in full Body Bind. I am sworn by my Healer's Oath, Albus, and not even you can make me break that, you clever old fox."

"Healer Snape, I can't afford to be sick," Albus began craftily. "What if I took your potions and rested for a day, then I could-"

"No. There's no can't, Albus Dumbledore, you _are_ very sick and must follow my instructions to the letter, no shortcuts and no half measures. It's my way or St. Mungos."

"But Severus, what about the children?" he wheedled.

Just then, one of the children spoke up, saying loudly, "Listen to my daddy, Father Kistmas! He's the bestest Healer an' he'll make you all better!"

"Out of the mouths of babes," muttered the Headmaster, blushing faintly.

"Yes, Father Christmas, you wouldn't want be sick and unable to deliver your presents, would you?" inquired Minerva with a wicked grin. It was rare that anybody ever managed to get the better of Dumbledore, but she knew they had him over a barrel and between Severus, herself, and Harry they might actually win this battle.

"No!" Harry squealed. He wriggled out of Minerva's arms and came to stand beside Albus, one little finger pointed imperiously. "You is gonna do as Daddy says an' get better, so's you can bring me presents, 'cause I been good, 'kay?"

Albus opened his mouth to say something, but he started coughing again.

"Looks like the general just gave you your marching orders, Albus," Minerva chuckled. "I'd suggest you follow them."

Dumbledore looked up at her, the twinkle dimmed from his blue eyes. "Very well, Min. I know when to retreat. What do you suggest, Master Healer Snape?" he gasped, trying to catch his breath.

"Fifteen minutes in a steam bath, these three potions, and rest." Severus repeated. "Come, I can help you, Albus. I'm assuming the faculty bathroom can be turned into a sauna, right?" At Albus's nod, he looked at Minerva. "Minerva, can you please watch Harry for about an hour, just so I can get him settled?"

"Of course, Sev. Harry, have you eaten lunch? No? Come along, we'll have a nice lunch in my quarters."

Harry looked up at Severus. "Go with Aunt Min, Harry. And mind you behave," Severus warned.

The toddler nodded, then followed Minerva out the door, leaving the Healer to assist his patient to the faculty bathroom to begin the first part of his treatment.

* * * * * *

While Severus was assisting the Headmaster, Minerva summoned the house elves to bring her and Harry some lunch. Having never really taken care of a small child before, the transfiguration teacher didn't realize that Harry was at a stage where he picked at his food and claimed to hate green vegetables. Minerva ordered him the same thing she was having, which was a nice ham steak, potatoes, and a side of peas and carrots.

After cutting up Harry's food, she said, "There now, sweetheart, eat your lunch like a good boy and after we'll have a look at Mr. Filch's kittens. His cat, Mrs. Norris, is a mum now."

Harry looked up from contemplating his lunch, his green eyes bright with eagerness. "Kitties? Where the kitties?" He loved animals, but especially cats and puppies.

"In a basket in Mr. Filch's quarters," answered Minerva primly. "Eat and then you can see them." She began to eat her own lunch.

Ten minutes later, she looked up to see how Harry was getting on and saw to her dismay that the little boy had barely eaten. "Harry, why haven't you touched your lunch?"

The child shrugged. "Don' want it. Peas and carrots is yucky!" He made a face at the vegetables.

"Harry, they're good for you. Here, look, I'll eat some." She placed a forkful in her mouth. "Mmm!"

But Harry was having none of that trick. Lily had tried that once too often. "Yucky!" he declared, scowling. Then he got a naughty idea. If Auntie Min liked peas and carrots so much, maybe she could eat his. "_You_ eat veggies!" And with that he catapulted a forkful of peas and carrots right at Minerva.

They hit the startled teacher right in the face.

"Harry! What on earth?" she sputtered.

Harry cracked up. He thought it was hysterical, seeing the prim matron covered with peas and carrots. So he did it again.

Another rain of vegetables flew at Minerva, hitting her in the forehead and some even landed in her hair.

Needless to say, she was _not_ amused.

"Harry James Severus Potter! You stop throwing food this _instant_, young man!" she ordered in her dreaded "detention giving" voice.

But Harry was giggling and ignored the tone, not knowing it meant trouble. "Funny! Do it 'gain!" This time he scooped up a handful of potatoes and flung them as well.

Splat! They hit McGonagall right on the nose.

Minerva was appalled. She grabbed her napkin, wiped off her face, then leaned over the table and said in a dreadful voice, "Throw one more piece of food at me, bairn, and you'll find yourself in the corner and no seeing the kitties, am I clear?"

Harry gulped, for now he could see that the lady was angry and he sniffled and whimpered, "No! No time out."

"Then you'd better eat that food, young man, or else that's what you'll be gettin'."

Harry picked at his food, finally eating his ham and most of his potatoes, but he balked at even tasting the remainder of the peas, and at last Minerva gave up and banished the dishes back to the kitchen, thinking to herself what a stubborn little boy Harry was, and who'd have thought it, given he was James's son?

"See kitties now?" Harry asked hopefully.

"Yes, though I really shouldn't, seeing as you were so naughty," sighed Minerva.

"I is sorry," muttered the little imp, pouting pathetically.

"Oh, Harry!" Minerva took his hand. "Come along."

Filch was less than thrilled to have Harry play with his cat's kittens, but at Minerva's glower, he subsided.

There were four kittens in the basket, curled in a furry heap next to a drowsing Mrs. Norris, who opened one eye sleepily, saw Minerva, and then went back to sleep. Minerva gently chose a small orange and white kitten from the basket, this was a gentle calm kitten, and handed her to Harry. "Here, child. Hold Marmalade, she doesn't mind you cuddling her a bit."

Harry hugged the tiny kitten and stroked her fur. Marmalade purred and fell asleep in his arms. Minerva smiled and said, "That's a good lad, Harry."

She let Harry hold Marmalade and pet the other three kittens, Aristotle, Flicker, and Minx, before Marmalade woke up and began mewing for her own lunch.

That made Mrs. Norris wake up, and she started meowing agitatedly for her baby.

"Harry, give Marmalade back now, she needs her mum," Minerva said, and went to take the kitten.

"No! I not WANT to!" Harry wailed. "MY kitty!" He hugged Marmalade so tight she squeaked and Mrs. Norris hissed.

"Harry, the kitty needs to eat, now let her go," Minerva ordered, and this time she pried the stubborn child's fingers away and took the kitten and put her back in the basket.

Harry threw himself on the ground, bawling and kicking. "MY kitty! Bring her BACK!" MINE! MINE!"

Argus was covering his ears and Minerva was staring at Harry as if he had suddenly grown horns and a tail. She had never known a child could scream so loud.

"Professor, take 'im away, please!" begged Filch. "Afore I go deaf!"

"Sorry, Argus! I never knew he would be like this." She knelt down and picked up the sobbing child. "Harry, that's enough! You're scaring the kittens."

But that had no effect on the furious child, who simply let out another ear-piercing howl.

Wincing, Minerva turned and marched back to her quarters, hoping the child would forget about the kittens if he wasn't seeing them any more.

Harry continued crying until they were inside the teacher's quarters and Minerva had set him down on the couch. All at once he stopped and said, "Kitties go 'way?"

"Yes, the kitties had to eat lunch," Minerva told him. She had the beginnings of a throbbing headache and was shocked that the child could behave in such a fashion. She would have thought any child raised by Severus would have better manners. "Harry, how would you like to paint a kitty?"

"Paint?"

"Yes, paint." Minerva went and got a large sheet of parchment from her storeroom and some finger paints, she enjoyed painting in her spare time and was currently working on an oil of the kittens playing in the sunshine on the lawn.

After showing Harry how to use the paints, and giving him an old apron to wear, she went to get some tests to mark from her sitting room, and it was then that a knock came upon the door. "One moment," she called, the sheaf of tests under her arm.

She peeked at Harry, who was happily smearing red and green paint across the parchment, and then opened the door, thinking it was Severus. But it was one of her students, asking for help with an assignment. June Thatcher was totally confused and it took Minerva some fifteen minutes to set her straight again. By the time the girl had understood the lesson, Minerva's headache had increased.

She turned around and went back into her small den, hoping to relax a little before Severus came to get Harry, and stopped dead.

"Great Merlin's ghost! What hae ye _done?_"

In the time Minerva had been explaining the complexities of transfiguration to Miss Thatcher, Harry had grown bored with painting kitties on the parchment and decided to paint them on the floor, the couch, and the table instead. He had also found Minerva's spare box of quills and sand, called pounce, used to make ink dry quicker, and proceeded to dip the quills in paint and paint all over with them and sprinkle the pounce on the floor and the table, resulting in a sticky gritty mess.

In the space of fifteen minutes, Harry had wreaked havoc on her formerly spotless neat sitting room, it now looked like a paint bomb had hit it. Harry himself was covered in paint from head to toe, and grinning like a mischievous imp. "Pretty! I paint kitties, Auntie Min!"

Minerva buried her face in her hands and tried to keep from screaming. _Severus, where are you?_

As if her thought had summoned him, there came a knock at the door and she heard the Healer call, "Minerva, I'm finished for today. I got him to sleep and I'll be back next week to check on him." He turned the handle and walked into the Transfiguration teacher's quarters. "How was Harry?"

"Severus!' cried Minerva, relieved beyond words that he had returned to claim his mischief-making son. "I think ye'd better take the laddie home, he . . .he . . .threw peas and carrots at ma face, and screeched like a banshee when I took him from the kittens, and then . . . lookit what he's done!"

"Dear sweet Merlin!" gasped the Healer, taking in the paint-splattered room and his son. "What the hell happened?"

"I-I dinna know. I went t' answer a question from a student and when I turned 'round, _this_ was what I saw!" Minerva groaned. "I never thought he'd do such a thing, I gave him a big piece of parchment t'paint on."

"Harry's like the ocean, Minerva. You can't turn your back on him," groaned the Healer. "I apologize, I can help you clean it up."

"No, no. The house elves will see to it." Minerva waved off his offer.

"I'm very sorry," the embarrassed father repeated, then he turned to his disobedient son and growled, "Harry James Severus, what d'you think you were doing, painting all over like that?"

Harry immediately quit smiling and his face crumpled. "I want paint kitties, Daddy."

"Paint the-oh for the love of Merlin! You are in such trouble, you naughty little brat! You're just like your father, you blasted rotten little-!"

"_Severus!_" Minerva cried. "You shouldn't talk about the child like that. Yes, he's been very naughty and deserves to spend some time in the corner and maybe a spanking, but insulting the child like that is not good either."

Sev halted, for the truth was he hadn't even realized what he'd been saying, he had been so angry and embarrassed at Harry's behavior that he had just blurted out the first thing that had come into his head, which had been insulting terms that Tobias used to yell at him in a temper, usually right before he removed his belt. Minerva's reproof had brought him back to himself abruptly.

"I . . .I don't usually . . .I didn't realize what I was saying . . .Oh God, I sounded just like my father!"

Minerva knew a bit about his past history with Tobias, since Eileen had spoken to her just before she died, asking Minerva to help Severus if he needed it. "Aye, you did, lad. An' that's not who ye ought to be using as an example, Severus Snape."

Severus winced, though he knew he deserved her scolding. He recalled all too well how Tobias's insults used to sting and prick at him, long after the welts from his belt had faded. And he had begun to do the same to Harry, without even realizing it. _You let your temper rule your tongue, Snape, and now look what happened. It's a good thing Minerva caught it before you kept on and made Harry's life miserable like yours._ "No. I never want to be my father, Minerva." He took several deep breaths, resolving to watch his mouth in the future. Then he looked at his son again and said, in amore controlled tone, "Harry, painting all over Aunt Min's room is very bad. You're supposed to paint on parchment _not_ the floor or the couch. I'm very disappointed in you, little boy."

At that, Harry began to cry, for he hated when his daddy used that phrase, since it meant he was very upset with Harry and he was in big trouble. He had had a wonderful time painting and yet now it seemed he was wrong and his daddy was mad at him.

"Come on, we're going home, and you're getting a time out for your awful behavior." Severus said, waving his wand and cleaning all the paint off the toddler.

Harry started to wail. "No-o-o! No time out! I paint!"

"Not anymore, you're not." Severus said, crossing the room towards his son. His temper was still simmering and he had to clamp down on it hard. "You made an awful mess, now say you're sorry to Aunt Min and let's go."

Harry promptly threw himself on the floor, kicking and screaming, figuring the longer he delayed going home, the better it would be.

_Oh no. Please, not again!_ Severus thought, wanting to cringe. _Why me?_ _Minerva must think I'm raising the world's worst child._ After the incident at Trimelda's Toys, Severus was sure that was the worst thing that Harry could do, throwing a tantrum in public. Now, however, he discovered the only thing worse was your child throwing a tantrum for someone else and wrecking their place into the bargain. He was so utterly mortified he wished he could dig a hole and crawl into it and not come out until Harry was seventeen.

But since that was a coward's option, and Severus had never been a coward, he took another deep breath and said sternly, "Mr. Potter, quit that screaming and come here, right now, or else you'll be getting another minute in time out plus a smack on your backside. One."

Harry lifted his face from the floor, it was now covered in paint again, and bawled, "I no go home! Stay here wif kitties."

"The kittens don't like naughty little boys who scream and throw tantrums," Severus told him. "Now get up and come here, young man. Two."

Sobbing, the child got to his feet, knowing that once Sev began counting he meant business.

Sev cleaned him up again and picked him up, made him apologize to Minerva, then he headed down the hall to the fireplace in the Great Hall, ignoring some of the startled looks he got from students heading to class, and Flooed back home.

After punishing his son, Severus drank a Calming Draught and almost wished he were single again. He dearly loved his son, but oh, how he wished Harry would quit testing him and throwing tantrums. Minerva was probably thanking her lucky stars that Albus was rarely sick and she didn't need Severus to make house calls all the time, especially when he brought along his troublemaking son.

When he went to check on Harry, whom he'd put down for a nap, some ten minutes later, he found the little boy sleeping peacefully, one arm clutching his dragon, looking like a cherub.

Severus looked at him for a long moment. _Scamp, what am I going to do with you? You're going to drive me to drink before you're four if you keep this up. How is it that you can look like a sweet angel and yet behave like a demon? _He wondered if every child was like that, or was it just Harry? He recalled reading in _Magical Child Today_ that one day you'd look back on the stuff your child did when they were two and three and laugh about it, but right then Severus was just hoping he'd live through it without having a nervous breakdown, never mind laughing over it. Whoever had written that article must have never had kids, he thought, then went into the kitchen to start supper before Lily came home. Now they would have something else to discuss over dinner tonight, he mused, and to think, once he'd complained that his life was uninteresting!


	18. Little Leonardo

**Little Leonardo**

Lily was watching her two-year-old son as he picked up one of his favorite books, _Goodnight Moon_, and attempted to "read" it. Of course Harry couldn't really read, but he had memorized the oft loved tale so well that it seemed he really was reading, to the casual observer. But Lily knew better. Harry was starting to recognize some letters and his name and words like Mum, Dad, dog, cat, and so forth, but precocious as he was, he could not truly read. Yet. But her husband predicted that given Harry's love of the written word, the scamp would be reading before he ever attended preschool.

Yet it was not her son's preoccupation with the big orange colored book that had her staring, but the way he was holding it to his eyes. Instead of holding it a fair distance from his face, Harry had it practically plastered to his nose, and was squinting at the letters and the pictures, almost as if he couldn't see them right.

"That's odd." Lily murmured, half to herself. "He's never done that before. I wonder . . .?" James had had bad eyesight, too bad to be corrected with anything other than a pair of glasses. She had thought Harry might have escaped that fate, but seeing him with the book smushed against his face . . . "Harry, sweetie, why don't you put the book in your lap?"she suggested, moving over to where her son was sitting on the sofa and gently placing _Goodnight Moon_ in his lap. "There, isn't that better? Now you can see the whole page."

But her son was squinting his eyes again. "No. _This_ way, Mummy!" he said, and pulled the book to about a foot from his nose again. "See it like this."

Lily frowned. "Harry, honey, look at me."

Her son did, gazing at her with his bright emerald eyes.

Lily held up three fingers, Harry had learned so far to count to five. "Harry, how many fingers do I have up?"

Harry squinted. "Uh . . .you gots one . . .two . . .three! Three fingers, Mummy!" He clapped his hands.

"Yes. Very good." Then she moved to the opposite end of the sofa and held up her hand again. "Now how many fingers, Harry?"

"Uh . . .two?" he guessed, for his mummy's hand was very fuzzy and he couldn't quite make it out. Lily was about four feet away from him. "Two fingers, Mummy!"

Lily shook her head, concerned. "No, sweetie. I have three fingers up. Can't you see that?"

Harry shook his head a little. "Two fingers!"

Lily moved back to within two feet of her son and held out her hand, palm forward, again. "Now how many, Harry?"

"Three!" he sang out. This was a fun game, counting.

But when she held out four fingers at the end of the couch, or across the room, Harry couldn't see them correctly. It appeared he was having problems with his eyesight. _I'll call Severus,_ she thought quickly. _Today's Tuesday, his half day, he should be able to fit Harry in and give him an eye exam. _She quickly used the Mirror of Communication to contact her husband at his office.

Severus told her to Apparate over with Harry immediately, he was currently free, and he would set up some tests for Harry's vision.

* * * * * *

Five minutes later, Harry was sitting in a comfy leather chair and his daddy was showing him different pictures on cards and asking him, "What is this picture of, Harry?"

"A kitty!"

"Good. And what color is it?"

"Brown!"

"Yes. And how about this one?"

"A froggie!"

"Excellent! And the frog is colored what?"

"Green!"

Then Severus moved a few feet further back. "And this one?"

"Ummm . . .a horse?"

"Take another look." Severus said, for the picture was of a dog.

Harry did, but the picture was blurry and he couldn't make it out. "A puppy?" he guessed.

Severus shook his head. "Don't guess, Harry. Can you see this picture?"

Harry squinted hard. "It a . . .dragon!"

"No, son." Severus moved closer, to within three feet of his son. "Now tell me what it is."

"A dog!"

"Very good! And the dog is colored?"

"Blue!" Harry giggled. "Silly doggie! Dogs not blue, Dad!"

"No, they aren't." Severus agreed. Then he held out his fingers. "Harry, how many fingers am I holding?"

Harry counted slowly. "Five! It's you whole hand, Daddy!"

"Right, scamp. That's my whole hand." He moved away, about six feet across the exam room. "And now how many?"

Once again the little boy got it wrong and Severus lowered his hand and drew his wand. He was not an Occular Specialist, but he did know basic spells to detect nearsightedness and pressure in eyes. He returned to his son and said softly, "Harry, I need you to keep your eyes wide open and not blink. Can you do that for me?"

"Yes."

Severus chanted a spell and the tip of his wand lit up. He gently examined his son's beautiful eyes, noting in dismay that Harry's vision was impaired badly. "Don't move, son," he muttered, holding Harry's head still and repeating a different spell.

That too came back with the same result. Severus lowered his wand and looked at Lily, who had been standing behind Harry's chair. "Well, he's definitely not seeing correctly. I believe he's nearsighted, in the left eye more than the right, but based on the tests, he needs glasses, Lily."

"Just like James. I had hoped it would skip him."

"No, most times, poor eyesight is inherited." Severus said matter-of-factly. "But the good thing is that it can be corrected with glasses."

"Do they make glasses for such a young child, Sev?"

"Yes, I can order him a pair from the St. Mungos Occular Specialist." He ruffled Harry's hair. "How would you like to wear glasses, scamp?"

Harry looked up at him, interested. "Glasses?"

"Yes. Like Pop sometimes does," Severus said, recalling then that Hal wore reading glasses.

Harry nodded eagerly. "Yes! I wear them, Dad."

"I'll place the order today along with my exam results," said the Master Healer. "The glasses should be ready in two days."

Lily looked relieved and hugged both her son and her husband. If poor eyesight was the least of Harry's health problems, they were lucky.

* * * * * *

Harry's new glasses arrived via the owl post, delivered to Severus's office within two days of his exam. The toddler did not mind the spectacles at all, they were light and easy to put off and on and they came with a special soft quilted case with Snitches and dragons on it, plus some lens cleaner and a soft cloth. Severus showed Harry how to put the glasses off and on and tested his eyes with them and found his son's vision much improved.

But while that problem was easily corrected, Harry's penchant for mischief was not. A week after his disastrous visit to Hogwarts, the imp of mischief reared its head again and the two-year-old once more discovered the joys of "drawing" on everything but parchment and coloring books.

Now that Harry had glasses, colors and shapes were much brighter and sharper than ever before, and now he discovered how to "paint" with Mummy and Daddy's funny feathers that they kept in a jar on their desk with some weird black and red and purple stuff Mum called ink.

The ink wasn't quite as good as the paint Auntie Min had given him that day, but it would do better than a crayon to draw pictures on the wall of the room Daddy called "the study" or "the office" which had only two boring frames of writing called "diplomas". The walls were just begging for some new pictures and since Harry couldn't find any paper, he could just draw on them directly.

He was glad that Mummy had fallen asleep on the couch in front of the TV and Daddy was busy talking to Uncle Matt in the kitchen, because it gave him time to surprise them with all his pretty pictures.

Harry drew his versions of a dog barking, a car, a kitty walking, balloons, himself and his Mum and Dad in the park, a broom, a bird like the ones he'd seen in Diagon Alley, and anything else he could think of.

Before long he had used all of the ink and went looking for more, leaving handprints on Severus's new leather desk chair and Lily's proposal book as well as the desk itself. But to Harry's disappointment, the drawers were locked. "Damn it!" he cried and kicked one, using a word he had heard Lily say yesterday when she had burned her finger on the tea kettle.

But the wall looked much better any how, the toddler thought, pleased with his artwork. Wouldn't Mum and Dad be surprised?

* * * * * *

"Merciful heavens!" Lily cried when she entered the office an hour and a half later, only to discover her son covered in ink and having painted all the walls with various colors of ink. "Harry, what the blazes have you done, you naughty boy?"

"Pictures, Mummy! Supwise!" the little boy shrilled, looking delighted.

Lily groaned and put her head in her hands. "Severus! Come and see what your son has done to your study, please."

Severus exchanged alarmed glances with Matthew, who had dropped by for a bit of tea and to discuss a surgery he had coming up. "Merlin, I don't think I want to know."

"Oh, come on, Sev," Matthew grinned. "How bad can it be?"

"Matt, you have no idea. Harry is like the wind of destruction." The Healer rose to his feet and headed down the hall to the study, dread curling in his gut.

A curious Matthew followed, wondering just how much trouble one little boy could be.

A moment later, he had his answer.

"Well, I'll be damned!" he exclaimed, staring at Harry's "artwork". "Looks like you've got the makings of another Michelangelo here, Sev. Either that or a little Leonardo DaVinci. I can almost figure out that's a cat and this one here's a dog. I think."

Severus was biting his lip to shreds to keep from swearing like a dockhand. He was horrified at the colossal mess and he fixed his little son with a very disapproving frown. "Harry James Severus, how many times must we go through this? Did you not get put in time out just last week for painting on Aunt Min's walls?"

Harry stared up at his irate father, who was so tall he nearly touched the ceiling, and whined, "But Daddy, I made it for you!"

"Harry, you know better. I know you do." Severus began.

"Sev, maybe he doesn't." Lily interjected. "He's only two, he can't possibly remember everything you tell him."

"Maybe not, but he will remember a time out and a smack," Sev snapped. "I spent hours yesterday rearranging my study and now look at it! It looks like a potion exploded in here." He stalked over to his desk, cringing at the inky handprints all over his new chair and the tawny maple grain. "How on earth did he get the blasted ink and the quills?"

Lily looked ashamed. "I, uh, think I forgot to put them in the drawer. But I never expected him to go in here." She too glared sternly at Harry, who began to sob. "Come here, scamp. We need to have a talk about this drawing on the wall."

She took her son by the hand and led him from the study.

Harry went reluctantly, sensing once more he was in trouble and probably going to get yelled at and put in time out too. He couldn't understand why they were so cross with him, he had thought the pictures were pretty.

Lily tried to explain why drawing on the wall was wrong, but she wasn't at all sure if Harry grasped the concept. So in the end, she gave him a swat and put him in time out for six minutes.

_That_ Harry did understand and he hated it. He bawled and kicked at the wall until his father came into the kitchen and stood over him, wearing his "awful mad" face and said angrily, "Be still, young man, before I add another minute!"

Harry sobbed, time out was the worst and he detested it. But he knew better than to keep kicking the wall after his Daddy said not to.

Finally, it was over and he could get up. But he was mad at his mummy and daddy and instead of running to them to be hugged like always, he ran away into his room instead and sulked and knocked all his stuffed animals off his bed.

Lily and Sev looked at one another and shook their heads. Then Lily said, "Looks like he's mad at us, Sev."

"Too damn bad. He has to learn not to draw on the wall."

* * * * * *

But teaching their budding artist not to draw upon the wall was like pulling teeth without anesthetic, a supremely painful operation for all concerned. Harry seemed possessed by a demon called Stubborn, and no matter how many times Lily scolded him and put him in time out, or smacked his little hand, or Severus did the same, the little boy simply refused to quit making "pictures" on the walls.

The final straw came when Lily found him writing on the kitchen wall with her new peacock feather quill and gold ink she had bought as an early Christmas present to write out Christmas cards. She totally lost it, dragging her son out of the room, yelling furiously, and giving the naughty child a terrific wallop on his bottom before shoving his nose in the corner of the den and shouting, "I've had it with your drawing on the wall, Harry James Severus! It's got to stop, right blasted now!"

Shaking, she walked back and began to clean up the wall with some Magical Mess Remover, and only then did she realize she had struck her son harder than usual and went back to apologize and discuss his behavior. But Harry was still upset at how angry she had become over his drawings and refused to come to her, instead backing away and crying, "Go' way! I don' like you no more, you is mean and hurted me!" Then he ran away into his room, still sobbing.

Horrified, Lily burst into tears. _Oh my God, what have I done? I've become Petunia, I hit him too hard and now he hates me. I'm a terrible mother. _She sat down on the couch and buried her face in her hands, guilt and remorse overwhelming her. _I should have walked away and counted to ten. Why didn't I?_ She castigated herself, tears dripping down her cheeks.

Five minutes later, Severus arrived home to find his house in an uproar, with his wife crying on the couch and his son wailing in the bedroom. "Lil, what's the matter? Why are you crying?" he asked, alarmed, for Lily rarely cried. "Did someone die? Is it Harry?" He drew her into his arms and she huddled there for a moment.

"Sev! Thank Merlin you're home . . .Sev, it's all my fault, I'm a dreadful mother . . ." she sobbed into his white robe.

"Hush, flower." He stroked her hair. "I can barely understand you."

At last, inbetween tears, Lily managed to tell him what had happened. " . . .and then he _ran away_ from me, like I was . . .was evil and . . .he said I _hurt_ him, Sev! I didn't mean to smack him that hard, I just was . . .so frustrated . . .I don't understand why he keeps doing this . . .every day he scribbles all over the wall . . ."

"All right, Lil. Calm down, sweetheart," he murmured, thinking, _I would've figured I would lose it before she did, considering my background. But I forgot she has a temper too._ "I'm sure he's more startled than hurt. You didn't . . .hit him with anything, did you?"

Another shake of her head.

"Okay, then take a deep breath. Stay here, I'll go and check on him." He gently withdrew from her arms, handed her a large handkerchief, and went to see his son.

He found the little imp face down on his bed, crying softly into his pillow.

"Hey, scamp, what's all the fuss?"

Harry leaped up from the bed. "Daddy! Mummy 'macked me and it hurted!" He threw himself at Severus, who picked him up and hugged him.

"She did, huh? And what did you do to deserve that?"

Harry looked away from Sev's eyes, knowing he was in trouble. "Nuffin, Dad!"

"Nothing? Oh, you must have done something, Harry. Because your mother would never smack you for no reason. Well?" He eyed his son knowingly.

Harry squirmed. "Nuffin' an' it hurted!"

Sev moved to sit down on the bed, and took the little imp's chin in his hand. "Look at me, young man. Are you lying to me? What have I told you about that?"

"It's bad," Harry said in a very small voice.

"Yes, and what happens if you lie to me?"

He sniffled. Then he said, reluctantly, "Time out an' two 'macks."

Sev nodded. "Now, let's try this again. What did you do to get in trouble with Mum?"

Harry dropped his gaze to his shoes. "I drawed on the wall 'gain."

"Ah. Then it wasn't for nothing, now was it?"

"No." He started to cry. "But it hurted and I'm sorry!"

"Yes, and so you should be." He patted his son's back. "Harry, why is it that you keep drawing on the walls when you know it's wrong?"

His son shrugged. "Don' know."

"Oh, I think you do. Why, Harry?" Severus was sure his son had a reason for continuing his misbehavior and wanted to find out what motivated the child.

"'Cause . . .cause I likes to make pictures. The wall needs 'em."

"The wall needs pictures, so you make them," Severus repeated.

Harry nodded. "Wall is ugly an' boring, Dad! I makes it pretty with pictures."

"Harry, you can decorate the wall, but draw the pictures on paper, son. So why, for the love of Merlin, don't you?"

"Forgot."

Sev sighed. "Keep forgetting and you'll keep getting in trouble. Do you want that?"

Harry shook his head. He was tired of getting in trouble. He wriggled from his father's arms. "Go potty, Daddy."

Severus took him into the bathroom, and while Harry was using the potty, examined his backside. There were no marks and the skin was barely pink. Lily had not hit him as hard as she had assumed, Severus thought in relief. He gave Harry a light pat on the bum and the little boy didn't flinch.

Then he helped the toddler fix his clothes and brought him out into the den to see Lily.

"Tell your mum you're sorry for drawing on the wall with her new quill and ink," Severus reminded.

"I sorry, Mummy, that I was bad," Harry recited and then held out his arms.

Lily practically smothered him. "I forgive you and I'm sorry too, baby, for smacking you so hard." She held Harry tightly, crying softly.

Harry instantly forgave her and said, "Don' cry, Mum. I is sorry. I help Daddy fix the wall."

"Oh, Harry." Lily kissed him and rocked him back and forth, relieved beyond measure that her son forgave her and was not traumatized by her outburst.

"Lil, I think I figured out why he keeps drawing on the wall, even when he knows it's wrong." Severus said, and told her what Harry said about making the walls pretty.

"He thinks he's decorating the house?" Lily repeated.

Severus nodded. "He told me the walls are ugly and boring."

Lily thought a moment, then she said, "Maybe Matt was right, and he really is a mini Leonardo. Perhaps I could try giving him his own wall."

"What do you mean?"

"I mean that maybe what he needs is a place to display his, um, artwork. An art wall." She turned to her son. "Harry, how would you like to have a wall to put your drawings on?"

"My _own_ wall?" he stared at her hopefully.

"Yes. We'll have an art wall in the kitchen, where you can put up all the pictures that you make . . .on parchment and paper, mind, _not_ the wall. And then we could look at them and show them to your uncles and your grandparents when they come over. Would you like that?"

Harry thought it over. He certainly didn't want to keep getting punished for making pictures on the wall, and even one wall was better than nothing. An art wall. It sounded wonderful. "Yes, Mummy! I likes that!"

"Good. Then as soon as you help Daddy clean off the wall in the kitchen, you can use that for your art wall. And no drawing on any other wall, or the desk, or the floor, Harry James Severus," she reprimanded sternly. "Understand?"

"Yes, Mum. I drawed on paper next time. Promise."

"Good job, Harry!" Lily hugged him again. She peered earnestly into his face and hoped that this time the lesson was learned.

"Come, scamp. Time for you to clean up that mess you made," said his father, and Harry followed him into the kitchen, where gold ink was scribbled all over the wall, and a broken peacock feather quill lay next to a half-full bucket of Magical Mess Remover and a wet cloth.

Severus conjured another small cloth, handed it to his son, and showed Harry how to dip it in the bucket and then scrub the ink off the pale yellow wall. He then took the other cloth and began removing all traces of his son's impromptu decorating spree. Once that was done, he banished the contents of the bucket and then put it away before saying, "You owe your mother a new quill and ink, son. Let's go to the stationary store and buy her a new one. And some parchment for you as well," Severus added.

"We going shopping?" Harry queried, looking delighted. "Can I get a toy?"

"Did you behave today?" Severus asked, frowning. "Is there a blue star on your chart for today?"

Harry hung his head. "No."

"Then you don't get a toy today, right? Only little boys who behave get rewards."

"Tomorrow?" he pleaded.

"If you behave for your mother. We'll see." Then Severus picked up Harry and Apparated to the small scrivener's shop two blocks down from his office to replace Lily's special ink and quill, hoping that they had finally conquered his little imp's urge to treat his house like a monastery's refectory and paint pictures on the walls, like DaVinci had _The Last Supper_.

They returned with a brand new quill and two bottles of gold ink, plus a whole ream of parchment for Harry to draw and paint on, with paint that washed easily from little hands and clothing if he happened to forget and get some on himself. Harry delivered the new quill and ink directly to Lily. "Here, Mum! I buyed you a new one. Sorry."

"Thank you, Harry. Now I can address my Christmas cards." She smiled at him.

"Can I help?"

"You can help by making me a picture, here on the table, while I write the cards," Lily told him, and together they spent part of the evening writing and drawing, while Sev made supper. By the end of the evening, Lily had finished her cards and Harry had made three new pictures, which were proudly displayed upon the art wall. One was of Christmas tree, the other of a kitten, and the last was supposed to be Sev, Lily, and Harry, though it looked sort of like three snakes. But his parents agreed it was wonderful and said they had a very talented artist in the family.

Harry clapped his hands when the artwork was stuck on the wall with Sticking Charms. "Pretty!" he turned back to the table. "I make more of them."

"It's bedtime, imp," Sev reminded him. "You can draw more tomorrow."

"Tomorrow?"

"Tomorrow, little Leonardo," the Healer answered. "Now it's time for you to rest and have a bath."

Harry considered. He was kind of sleepy and he did love baths. "Okay." Then he gave his father a puzzled look and said, "Daddy, I'm Harry, 'member? Not Leonardo."

Lily burst out laughing, and Severus smirked. Sometimes his son was too smart for his own good. Then he handed his brilliant child to his wife, since it was her turn to give Harry his bath tonight, and went to check on the cauldron of Memory Restorative he had brewing in his lab.

As Lily carried him off to his bubble bath, Severus could hear Harry asking, "Mum, who is Leonardo? That not me. Daddy knows another little boy?"

"Sort of, scamp. Leonardo was a little boy who lived a long time ago, in Italy, and he loved to paint and draw too, just like you . . ." Lily told him.

"Oh. Did _he_ paint on the wall too?"

Severus covered his mouth with his hand, and didn't catch what Lily replied, he was laughing too hard. _If DaVinci were anything like my Harry, he probably **did **draw on the wall, and drove his parents crazy too,_ the Healer thought in amusement, then he made his way to his lab, still chuckling.

**One of my favorite artists/inventors is Leonardo DaVinci, as I'm sure you've guessed. What did you think of Sev and Lily's solution? Will it work?**

Next: Someone gets unexpectedly sick for Christmas! 50 House points if you can guess who it is!


	19. Sick for Christmas

**Sick for Christmas**

__

Two days before Christmas:

December 23, 1982

It all began with a tickle in the back of his throat.

But Master Healer Snape was too busy trying to help out with the latest outbreak of flu victims at St. Mungos to pay much attention to his own health. This flu was a particularly nasty strain that attacked young children and adults and the elderly alike, weakening their magic and making them sick for days. Severus had been working for several days with another Healer, Ainsley Wilkins, to develop a vaccine for this particular strain, along with making rounds in the hospital. He hadn't really seen much of his family during that time and when he was home, he had just enough energy to kiss Lily, hold Harry, and eat. Then he slept for seven to eight hours.

Only to get up the next day and start all over again, with rounds and office hours. Christmastime was a busy season, what with people collapsing from overwork, or stress, and getting sick because they were trying to do too much in one day, or a week, and their bodies just couldn't handle it. Severus knew he was just as guilty of the latter, he was workaholic and sometimes didn't know when to quit. He had been trying to get a slightly less busy schedule, now that he had a family to come home to, but old habits die hard.

And now, with this latest outbreak, they needed his potions expertise and his analytical mind more than ever. So far, the vaccine created by himself and Miss Wilkins was tested on one hundred hospital employee volunteers, those who had been caring for the flu victims, and it seemed to be a success. Severus was currently brewing more batches of it, and inbetween that had managed to finally buy Lily and Harry some special gifts as well.

So, he put down the slight tickle and soreness in his throat as a result of being awake for almost seventeen hours and the exhaustion he was feeling due to lack of sleep as well. He had not yet received his vaccine, he had intended to make time to get one yesterday, but then an emergency had come up and he had been too busy to worry about himself.

It was only later, now that he was home, and curled up with Harry on the sofa, reading _The Just So Stories _by Rudyard Kipling, one of his favorites, that he recalled he had forgotten to stop by the office and ask Matthew to give him the injection again. _Oh, well, guess I can do it tomorrow, since we've only half-a-day._ He cleared his throat again and resumed reading the story of _How the Alphabet Was Made_.

It was one of the longer tales in the book, and by the time he was finished, Harry was nearly asleep and his throat was bothering him more than ever. "Sev, you sound like you're tired, why don't you go to sleep and I'll put Harry to bed tonight?" Lily offered.

"Yes, I'll just get a drink of water, my throat is dry from reading, and then I'll go to bed." He smiled gratefully at her and handed her the sleeping child.

After he had drank an entire glass of ice water, his throat no longer felt sore and he was able to fall asleep as soon as his head hit the pillow.

* * * * * *

But he was most definitely not fine the next morning. His throat felt like he'd swallowed fire and his head was throbbing, he ached all over, and he felt weak and woozy. _Damn it all, I cannot be sick! I have too much to do. I have patients to see and it's Christmas Eve and how the hell can this happen, now of all the times for me to get the bloody flu, _he thought furiously, for there was little doubt in his mind what he had. He had treated too many cases not to know the symptoms blindfolded.

Then he began to cough, and he turned over to muffle it in his pillow so he wouldn't wake Lily.

But Lily had awakened a little before him to use the bathroom and was just coming back to bed when she heard her husband coughing something awful. "Sev, honey, you sound like you're sick." She walked over and touched the back of his neck with her hand. "Merlin, Sev, you're burning up!"

He turned over and said, hoarsely, "Bring me a Fever Reducer please, and then don't come near me until you've gone to visit my office. Bring Harry with you and tell Matthew to give you the new flu vaccine. Wash your hands, Lily. I've got this new flu and it's highly contagious."

"Sev, are you sure? Do I need to call Matthew over?"

"Yes, I'm sure, I've spent the past week treating it and I need you to get vaccinated. I meant to tell you last night, but I was so tired, I just forgot." His dark eyes burned with fever and a terrible urgency. "Please, Lil. This flu is bad, Harry especially needs the vaccine. I dropped a batch off at my office yesterday and Matthew should still have some left."

"All right, luv." She waved her wand and the Fever Reducer popped up on the nightstand. "Here, drink that and rest. I'll be back in a blink."

She helped him sit up and take the potion, then gently placed his head back on the pillow and tucked him in, he was starting to shiver.

"Don't forget . . .wash your hands!" he called after her.

* * * * * *

Ten minutes later, she was in Severus's office, receiving the vaccine in her upper arm. "Matthew, if you've got time, can you please come and examine him? I know he knows what he's talking about, but still . . .I'm worried, he sounded terrible and looked it too."

"Yes, Lil. I'll be over soon as I can, once all the patients are seen." Matthew reassured her. "I told him to get the vaccine immediately, but he would wait till the last minute. Thinks he's invincible sometimes. Okay, Harry. Your turn next."

Harry whined, he didn't like needles, but he had learned to accept them as a fact of going to the Healer's, and didn't fight Matthew when the blond Healer gave him the vaccine, only in his bottom, since there was more muscle there and it wouldn't sting as much. He yelped, but it was over in a minute and then Healer Morgan rubbed the sting away and gave him a chocolate frog for being a brave boy.

"There you go, kiddo. See, that wasn't so bad, was it?" Matthew asked.

"How come Daddy didn't give me my shot, Uncle Matt?"

"Your dad's sick, sport, so that's why I'm filling in for him. I'm going to come by the house later on tonight and see how he's doing, okay?"

Harry nodded. He had never seen his dad sick before. In fact he didn't even know his dad could get sick. His dad was the Healer, he took care of people that were sick. He looked over at Lily and said, "Mum, if Daddy's sick, who's gonna make him all better?"

"We are, Harry. Me and Uncle Matt and you too. You can bring him water and juice with a straw, okay?" Lily said, picking up her son. "Matthew, how much do I owe you for these?"

Matthew waved off her offer of payment. "Nothing, Lil. Professional courtesy and all that." He checked his watch. "Got to run, before I'm late, I'll see you later on tonight. Make sure Sev drinks lots of liquids and gets as much rest as possible." Then he was out the door, his white robe swishing about his ankles.

* * * * * *

Severus had never felt so sick in all of his life as he did then. Oh, he'd fallen victim to the usual round of colds and the occasional stomach virus when he was a child, but nothing that would keep him in bed for longer than a day and a night. He had inherited his father's iron constitution, one of the few things he was grateful to the Snape lineage for, that hardy Yorkshire toughness. But now it seemed that phenomenal constitution had failed him.

He lifted his head when he heard the door to his room open, figuring it was Lily coming with some more water or broth for him, she seemed determined to drown him with kindness, he thought wryly, bringing him glass after glass of water. But instead he saw the familiar white-robed figure of his partner Matthew instead.

"Physician heal thyself," Matthew joked lightly, coming over to the side of the bed, his rowan wand out.

Severus managed to roll his eyes at the old saying and said, "I'm trying, Matthew. But so far, my treatments haven't had much effect." He made an effort to prop himself up on the bed.

"What potions have you dosed yourself with, Sev?"

"A Fever Reducer, a Class Three Pain Reliever, and a mild Decongestion Draft, plus a Sore Throat Elixir."

Matthew nodded, they were standard and what he would have prescribed himself. He waved his wand and cast a diagnostic, though he was pretty sure of his findings. "Yes, you've got the flu, Sev. Not as bad as some do, but I'm sure you're feeling like crap right about now. You know, Sev-"

"Don't say it, Matthew." Severus interrupted, coughing slightly. "I know I should have gotten the vaccine yesterday. Now I'm paying for it." He grimaced. "Well, Healer Morgan? What can you prescribe to get me back on my feet in time for Christmas?"

Matthew looked at him and shook his head sadly. "You know the answer to that as well as I do, Sev. Time and rest and keep taking stronger doses of those potions, and drinking lots of fluids. You're young, you're strong, you'll recover. But not in time for Christmas, I'm afraid. Sorry, buddy. But I'm not a miracle worker, Sev. I leave the miracles to the Son of God."

Severus scowled, unwilling to ruin his family's holiday, their first one as an official family. "Damn it, Matthew! There must be something you can do! Lily won't have a very happy Christmas if she's stuck taking care of me. Or Harry either."

"Severus, I'm going to tell you the same thing you tell all your sick patients. The only thing you should be worrying about is getting well. Everything else will just have to take care of itself for once."

The Master Healer harrumphed and eyed his friend balefully. He hated it when his own words were tossed back at him, however appropriate they might be. He could just hex himself for not getting that blasted vaccination, he had invented the damn thing, by Merlin's beard! And now, thanks to his own oversight, here he was, on Christmas Eve, sick in bed. Oh the irony!

Matthew sat down on the edge of the bed and gave his grumpy colleague a sympathetic smile. "Sev, if there were anything I could do to halt this damned infection, you know I would. But magic can only do so much." He handed Severus a tissue to blow his nose and stayed and talked quietly with him for about thirty minutes before leaving, since Severus was becoming sleepy. Severus did manage to extend an invitation for the single Healer to come and have Christmas Day dinner at the house, not wanting Matthew to be alone over the holiday, since his family was back in the States, and he wasn't going to be spending Christmas with them.

Severus's eyes closed and he slept, though his sleep was anything but peaceful. In his fevered state, he dreamed of his childhood and the hell Tobias had put him through, whimpering and moaning like a man possessed, thrashing about trying to flee from the phantom figure of his father. Lily came in to check on him and found her poor husband having a nightmare so terrible that he wept in his sleep.

The red-haired Auror felt her heart constrict for her tormented husband, and she slipped into bed next to him and drew him into her arms. "Oh, Sev! Poor love, it's okay. You're safe with me." She cradled the raven head to her shoulder and stroked his hair and hummed much as she did to her son when he had night terrors. Gradually, her touch and the soft tone of her voice penetrated the depths of Severus's subconscious, and he relaxed against her.

Ignoring his fevered flushed skin, Lily held him until he had drifted into a more peaceful sleep. Then she laid him gently back on the pillows, smoothed his hair back from his forehead and wiped his face with a damp cloth. He slept on, the nightmare vanquished by her unwavering love and compassion. "Sleep well, beloved," she murmured, and kissed him softly before departing. There was much left to do for Christmas Day dinner and breakfast, but at least they had managed to decorate the house and wrap Harry's presents before Severus had fallen ill.

* * * * * *

When Severus opened his eyes again he found a worried pair of green ones gazing at him. "Harry?" he managed after licking his lips, his throat felt dry and dusty as the Sahara.

"Hi, Daddy. Are you getting better soon?" his son asked, patting his face.

"I hope so. How long have you been here, scamp?"

"Few minutes. Mummy said I could see you if I took a nap, and I did. I bringed you some juice, Dad." He pointed to a tall glass of iced apple juice upon the nightstand, with a flexible straw in it.

"Thanks, son." Severus managed to sit up and reached for the glass of juice, drinking it slowly through the straw until he could speak at something above a whisper.

A familiar yellow potion was sitting on the nightstand next to an empty glass, and Harry half-crawled over Sev's lap to pick it up. "Here, Daddy. You has to drink this yucky potion. Mummy says so. An' so does Uncle Matt," he added, in case that were not enough of an incentive.

Severus recognized it as a Pain Reliever, and made a face. His son's assessment of the taste was dead on target. Pain Relievers always tasted nasty, the ingredients in them to dull pain were mostly bitter ones. He carefully set the juice down and grimaced. "I don't think I really need that now," he said slyly, trying to put off taking the horrid potion until the last minute, even though he knew it would make him feel a little better. Right then, the pain was bearable.

"Yes, you does so, Dad!" Harry insisted, looking like a cross little owl with his new glasses perched upon his nose. "Mummy said you _has_ to take this right _now_, mister!"

Severus arched an eyebrow. "Oh she does, does she?"

The little boy nodded firmly. "An' she says if you're bad and don' take it, I'm s'posed to tell her, and then you'll be in _real_ trouble, Mr. Snape!" Then he thrust the vial at his father. "Hurry up and take it, Dad. B'fore you end up in time out."

Severus found that sick as he was, he could still muster up a half-smile for his son. "Your mother wouldn't dare put me in time out."

Harry nodded his head vigorously. "Oh yes she would too! She tol' me so!" He gave his father a warning scowl. "Take your medicine an' be good, Dad."

"I'll take it later," said Sev, hiding a smirk. Plainly the little imp was delighted to be able to boss his father around for once.

"Now, Daddy! Don' make me count to three."

"Can you even count that high, scamp?"

"Uh huh. One."

"Very well," Severus sighed, pretending to be grumpy. "You win, Mr. Potter." He pulled the stopper from the vial and downed the potion in one swallow. "Ugh! That tasted awful!"

"Here, now you can have some juice." Harry pointed to the half-full glass of juice.

Severus reached over and promptly drank the rest of it, grateful for the sweet taste. Then he settled back against his pillow and said, "Any other orders, Healer Potter?"

Harry smiled, he liked playing Healer and making his daddy do what he said, so he could get well. "No. 'Cept Mum said I can stay here so long as I'm quiet an' let you rest. Are you tired, Daddy? You was asleep almost the _whole_ day!"

"I know. Being sick sometimes makes you sleepy. And sometimes sleep is the best medicine." Severus told his son. "Why don't you lie down next to me here and tell me what you did today, Harry?"

Obligingly, his son snuggled next to him, and said, "First, I ate cereal for breakfast, the kind with the honey O's, it's my favorite. An' then Mum took me to your work, only you weren't there, Dad, and made Uncle Matt give me a shot." Harry made a face and rubbed his bottom dramatically. "He don't give shots as good as you, Dad. It hurted."

"That shot was to keep you from getting sick, little one. So you don't have to spend Christmas in bed like me."

Harry cocked his head thoughtfully. "Oh. But why didn't Uncle Matt give _you_ a shot in your bum? Was it 'cause you was a'scared?"

"No, it was because I was too busy and I . . .forgot." Severus admitted ruefully.

"You is not s'posed to _forget_, Daddy." Harry said severely. "You is a growed-up and is s'posed to remember _everything_. Like Mum."

"You think your mum remembers everything?"

"Yup. She always 'members to make me brush my teeth and comb my hair an' she knows when I hide my veggies under my plate an' makes me eat two bites of them. Yuck!"

"Well, that's what mothers are for, Harry. To make little boys eat their vegetables and comb their hair and all. What else did you do, Harry?"

"Umm . . .I helped Mummy bake cookies. We made stars and angels and wizard hats, Mum let me paint them with icining."

"_Icining?"_

"Uh huh. You know, the white and green stuff that goes on birthday cakes. Icining."

"Icing, I think you mean." Severus corrected.

"Yup. That's what I said." Harry informed him. "They're still in the oven and I made a special one just for you, Dad. Mum says you can eat it after you eat all your dinner. Oh, and I made this for you too!" He reached behind him to pull out a drawing. "This's you holding a kitty, 'cause kitties always make me feel better, Dad."

Severus examined the picture, for a two-year-old it was quite good. "Thank you, Harry. This makes me feel much better." He set the picture on the nightstand. "Anything else happen?"

"Uh, I watched TV and then I took a nap. Then I came here to see you." He tugged out his beloved stuffed dragon and placed it next to Sev. "Here, Daddy. You can sleep with Smokey. He makes me feel lots an' lots better."

Sev opened his mouth to refuse, but then shut it, not wanting to hurt his son's feelings. "That's very generous of you, Harry. Thank you."

Then Harry leaned over and kissed Severus on the cheek. "Now you're all better!" he cried. "A kiss makes it all better. Mum says so."

Sev put an arm around his son and hugged him hard. "Your mum is very smart, Harry. And you make me better already, son."

"I do?" Harry stared at him in awe. "Wow!"

Sev ruffled his son's hair affectionately. "You're a good Healer, Mr. Potter. Almost as good as I am."

Harry snuggled next to his father. He liked being "almost as good" as his daddy, because his daddy was the bestest Healer and one day when he was big he wanted to be just like him. "Close you eyes, Daddy." He said then, remembering Lily's orders that Sev should rest. "You need rest."

Sev obeyed, his mouth twitching at the imperious tone Harry was using. Then he slyly opened one eye, to see if his son noticed.

"Dad! Close you eyes! You need to rest, Healer Snape!"

"Yes, sir," his patient said, and then shut both eyes.

A second later, he felt a warm little body curl up in the hollow between his shoulder and his arm. "I need some rest too," murmured the would-be Healer, and that was how Lily found them some two hours later, fast asleep.

* * * * *

But that night, Severus's condition took a turn for the worse, and his fever spiked. Lily was frightened and thought about calling Matthew, but in the end she managed to bring it down by two doses of an Extra Strength Fever Reducer plus lots of cold wet cloths. Severus was barely conscious, he alternately froze and burned, shivering violently, until at last his fever broke, somewhere in the wee hours of the morning.

Lily nearly wept for joy and she whispered a heartfelt prayer of thanks before wiping down her husband's lean frame and then putting warmed pajamas on him and tucking several warmed blankets about him. Around three o'clock he woke, she gave him some water and the rest of the potions he needed, he seemed to be getting a little better now.

She re-cast the diagnostic spell, Matthew had shown her it before he left that afternoon, and found that Severus's temperature was almost normal and the flu was slowly being defeated by her husband's indomitable will and potions.

It was Christmas morning, but poor Lily was too exhausted to celebrate it. She fell asleep next to her husband, worn out.

Until their son came busting into the room around eight o'clock, yelling, "Wake up, Mummy and Daddy! Father Kistmas was here! He bringed me presents in my sock an' under the tree! Come an' see 'em!"

He bounced up and down on his toes, his glasses askew and his pajamas half-unzipped.

Lily groaned. "Oooh! What time is it?"

"It morning time! C'mon, Mummy!" Harry tugged Lily's hand.

Lily sat up and looked over at her husband, who was also awake. "Go on, Lil. He's waited all year for this."

"Sev, can you get up?"

The Healer shook his head. "I'm still a bit dizzy, so it's best if I didn't. But don't disappoint Harry. Go. Christmas comes only once a year."

Lily followed her son down the hall to the den, where Harry proudly showed off the presents under the tree and also in his little stocking hung on the mantle. The little boy was in transports, his little face bright with the wonder and joy of the season. _Oh, Sev! You should see this, he's like a little whirlwind. It's not fair that you should miss your son's first Christmas in his new home._ Then she got an idea. "Harry, come here for a minute!"

Harry halted and ran over to her, clutching a small box wrapped in red and green paper. "Can I open the presents, Mum? Please?"

"Yes, but listen to me first . . ." she whispered her idea into Harry's ear.

The little boy shouted eagerly. "Yes, Mum! Let's do that!"

Lily grinned and waved her wand.

Two minutes later, they were marching into Severus's bedroom, the presents floating behind them in a long line.

"Lily, what in Merlin's name . . .?"

"Since you couldn't come and see Harry's second Christmas, and his first in his new home, we brought Christmas to you, Sev!" Lily said, and levitated all the presents onto the bed. "Happy Christmas, Sev!"

"Happy Kistmas, Daddy!" Harry yelled, climbing up and giving his father a great big hug. "_Now_ can we open the presents?"

"Go ahead, son," Severus urged, and Lily came to sit on his other side and together they watched their son tear open his presents, recalling a time long ago when they too were young and innocent and Christmas was the best time of the year.

When Harry had opened almost all of his gifts, Severus asked him to go under the bed and fetch the box that was there. Harry emerged, slightly dusty, carrying a box wrapped in starry paper. "That's for your mum, scamp. From me. Happy Christmas, Lily my love."

Lily carefully unwrapped the paper and withdrew a beautiful shawl. It was spun from rare frost spider silk and shimmered like a star fallen from the heavens. On the clasp was a pin with an S and L intertwined by a snake with emerald eyes. "Oh! Sev, it's absolutely beautiful! Where did you find it?"

"Brunhilda's shop. It's one of a kind. Like my wife."

She swirled it around and then put it on. "How do I look?"

"Like a fairy queen," her husband said. Then he kissed her.

Laughing, she summoned his present from the pile still remaining upon the bed, and bid him open it. Inside was an elegant emerald cloak, lined with snakeskin and a pin in the shape of a caduceus with the initials SS on it.

"Do you like it? You really needed a new cloak, your old one was so . . ."

"Worn? Fit for a ragbin?" Severus supplied, laughing. "Now I'll look like some pureblood lord of the manor."

"Better. And now when you have to attend that stuffy St Mungos Board Meeting in February, Healer Thurgood can't look down his nose at you and regret ever allowing a half-blood Master Healer to join his staff."

"Oh, I think he might. A new cloak won't make me keep my mouth shut," chuckled Severus. "That's what he really dislikes about me, you know. The fact that I'm not afraid to tell him when he's wrong. But this cloak is fit for a prince. Even a half-blood one like me. Thank you, Lil."

Then he kissed his wife soundly for the second time that morning, until Harry interrupted their intimate moment by calling for them to see his new toy Hogwarts Express. They separated, blushing, and Severus thought that this Christmas hadn't been half bad after all, even if he was sick, for he still had his family to celebrate with, and that was what mattered most.


	20. Wet Sunday

**Wet Sunday**

FLUSH! FLUSH!

"Where'd it go, Hawwy?" asked Neville, peering into the big porcelain bowl of the potty.

His friend just shrugged. "I dunno, Nev. Somewhere." He drew in a deep breath. "It's the Big Bad Potty Monster and it loves to eat you toys!" He picked up another small plastic toy Quidditch player, they were about the size of the toddler's hand, and prepared to drop it in. "Help! Help! I is about to get eaten!"

Neville grabbed another player, and shouted, "I will save you!" and made the figure flying on a broom "rescue" the other one.

Then Harry picked up the biggest plastic figure in the lot, a giant with one eye, and cried, "Fee Fi Fo Fum! I's going to crunch you and eat you bones with bread."

"Eeeww! Hawwy, why does you want to eat bones with bread?"

Harry shook his head. "Not me, Nev! The giant says that! Bones is for doggies."

"The giant is bad, wight?" Neville asked, he had a slight lisp.

"Very bad." Harry made the giant walk around the lip of the toilet, growling. "But then comes the wizard!" he took another figure, of a wizard in dark robes with a wand and made it attack the giant. "Pow! I knocks you in the head!" He looked at Neville. "C'mon, Nev. Don' you wanna fight the giant?"

Neville hesitated. He didn't really like to fight things. But Harry had invented this game and it was fun. "Bam! Take that!" he said, making his Quidditch player ram into the giant.

"Oh! I is done for!" Harry cried dramatically, he knew that line from watching cartoons and it always meant the bad monster was killed. He made several loud noises and threw the giant into the potty, where it floated face down. "Now you is in the whirlpool!"

"Hawwy, what a whirlpool?"

"It's when you do this," answered his friend, and he pulled down the handle of the potty.

FLUSH!

The giant began to swirl around and around, faster and faster, until he was sucked into the hole at the end, to end up where ever all the bad monsters and pee went. Somewhere nasty.

"Cool!" Neville cheered.

"Yay! The giant's dead and now we can have a party!" Harry clapped his hands.

All of a sudden, the potty made a strange sound.

Harry peered into it. The water wasn't there. "Uh oh."

"What happened?"

"I think . . .I broke it," he whispered. Neville gulped. Breaking things was bad.

"Will you gets in twouble?"

"Only if I can't fix it." Harry said quickly. He pressed the handle of the potty again.

Water began swirling into the bowl and he heaved a sigh of relief. It wasn't broken, just stuck.

"Hawwy! The water's comin' out!"

Sure enough, the water which was supposed to stay IN the bowl, was now sloshing and pouring out of the potty. It was getting all over the floor and their shoes.

"Hawwy! I is getting wet!"

"Run, Nev!" Harry cried, grabbing the plastic pack of figures off the tile. "Before the Potty Monster gets us!"

The two toddlers ran screaming from the bathroom just as the toilet overflowed and the bathroom filled with water.

It ran down the hallway, seeping into the rug in the den where Severus, Lily, Alice, and Remus and Sirius were sitting.

The next sound that was heard was a very irate Master Healer.

"HARRY JAMES SEVERUS!"

* * * * * *

It had started out as an ordinary Sunday, with Lily making pancakes and sausage for breakfast, and Harry watching TV in the den while Severus read the Daily Prophet. Alice and Neville had dropped in to visit, since Frank was away working a remote case up near the Scottish border, trying to catch a ring of magical thieves. Harry was delighted to have a friend over "like a big boy", though Lily did caution them not to run about too much, since Neville had a slight asthma problem and could get short of breath.

So Harry took Neville into his room instead and they played with his Hogwarts Express set and Smokey and his other stuffed animals for quite a long while. Harry had a very good imagination and he was the one who made up the different scenarios for the toys and Neville played along. They played Bank Robber, Train Crash, the Monster in the Forest, and Hospital.

Sirius and Remus showed up around lunchtime, as was usual for a Sunday, and Sirius feigned surprise to see Alice there. "Well, Moony, look who it is! Alice the Attack Dog." He grinned, using her code name among the Aurors.

"Better watch out, Black." Alice teased, waving a fist under his chin. "Get smart with me and I'll kick your arse."

"Yeah. Yeah. I've never had a woman kick my arse," Sirius chuckled. "All the chicks love me."

"Except the ones who know you too well," Alice teased.

Sirius winced. "That was cruel, Alice. You wound me to the quick." He clasped his hands dramatically to his heart and gave her huge sorrowful puppy dog eyes.

Alice exchanged glances with Lily and said, "I'd say he's just begging to get his arse kicked, wouldn't you, Lil?"

"Women!" muttered the dark-haired Auror. "Is that all you can think of, how to kick a man when he's down?"

Alice snorted, her eyes twinkling, and replied, "All men need their arse kicked once in awhile."

"Oh?" Remus said. "Do you kick Frank's arse then, Alice?"

"Everyday,"she answered, then she burst out laughing and Lily joined her.

Severus walked into the kitchen just then and Sirius said, "Women! I don't think I'll ever really understand them. Either they want to kiss you or kick you or sometimes both."

"And you're only realizing this now, Padfoot?" Severus asked. "Women aren't meant to be figured out. Their mystery is part of their charm. Take it away and they're only ordinary."

Alice eyed the lean Healer appreciatively. "Now _him_ I'd like to kiss. How'd you get so smart, Severus?"

"He was born like that," Lily put in, giving her husband a quick peck on the cheek. "And then he married me, of course."

"What's for dinner, Lily?" asked Remus, sniffing the air. "It smells like . . .roast beef."

"Yes, it's beef Wellington with Yorkshire pudding and Alice's green bean casserole and rice pudding with cream for dessert." Lily replied.

"Sounds divine," Remus sighed happily. "I love a good roast beef. Nice and rare."

"It'll be done in another hour and a half, Wolfie," Lily told him, using her old nickname for him. "Meantime you can munch on some pretzels and chocolate."

"Sounds good to me," said the werewolf. "Sev, does that TV of yours get Quidditch?"

"Uh . . .not usually, unless I tinker a bit with it with magic. Why?"

"It's the final game of the season and the Dragons are playing the Basilisks," Moony informed him.

"I'll see what I can do."

The men retreated to the den to watch the game, assuming Sev could tune it to a magical station, leaving the women to have tea and lemon biscuits and discuss the various mishaps their sons got into and enrolling them in preschool and customers at Alice's spa, which she worked at on the weekends to supplement her part-time job as an Auror.

Alice had a wry sense of humor and could generally imitate a person so well it made Lily laugh, and after she had put the pudding in to bake along with the beef and the casserole, they too retired to the den to see part of the game.

The Dragons had just scored and Sirius was halfway off the couch, yelling about what an awesome catch that had been by the Dragons' Chaser, McGreevey, when Remus noticed an odd wet stain creeping into the den from the hallway.

The werewolf squinted, his ultrasenstive nose could smell water with a hint of chlorine in it and hear it as well, flowing swiftly from down the hallway. "Uh, Sev? Looks like you've sprung a leak somewhere."

"What?" Severus turned to stare at his friend, who was pointing to the large wet stain encroaching steadily onto the carpet. "How the hell . . .?" Then he knew what had happened, the same thing that had happened twenty other times before and he bellowed his son's name at the top of his lungs.

* * * * * *

Two little boys now had their noses to the wall in opposite corners of the kitchen, both were crying quietly, and Harry was nursing a stinging behind because this was the tenth time this week that he had flushed toys down the toilet and made it overflow. He had also earned a second smack for trying to lie his way out of it when Severus confronted him.

"What did you do, Harry?" he had demanded, upon finding the two boys inside Harry's room, looking as innocent as two baby lambs.

"Hi, Dad!" Harry looked up from his train set.

"Don't you play innocent with me, mister! I want to know what you flushed down the toilet this time. Another toothbrush? The flying Quidditch player? A sock? What was it?" he loomed over his son threateningly.

"I don't know nuffin', Dad."

"Tell me, Harry! The toilet doesn't just spontaneously overflow like a geyser. What was it?"

"I can't 'member, Daddy," Harry hedged, edging away from his angry parent.

"Now I know you're lying." Severus growled. He picked up his son, turned him over, and gave him two quick smacks, hard enough to sting. "That's for lying to me, Mr. Potter." Harry began to wail, but Severus looked over at Neville and said quietly, "Neville, maybe you can tell me what you two flushed down the toilet?"

Neville, who was shaking, promptly said, "We was playing a game. And we flushed away a big monster and a small man. From that bag there." He pointed to Harry's bag of small plastic figures lying on the floor next to the train set.

Severus swore under his breath. "Harry, how many times must we go through this? You do _not_ flush toys or anything else down the toilet! It's not a game! When will you learn? And then you lie to me on top of it. I'm very disappointed in you, young man. _Very _disappointed."

Harry began to bawl harder. He hated it when Sev was disappointed in him, for that meant he'd done something very naughty and was getting a time out. "I'm sorry, Daddy!"

"Good, but you're still getting a time out. And so are you, Neville. Five minutes. Come with me." He beckoned to the shy blond-haired boy and Neville reluctantly followed, hoping Healer Sev didn't smack him on the bottom too.

But all Severus did was put them in a corner of the kitchen, at opposite ends, and set a timer. "Don't move until I tell you."

Both boys froze and Severus left them to help clean up the soaking wet carpet, while Lily cast a spell to stop the toilet from overflowing.

His three friends were wearing half-amused and half-dismayed looks, in Alice's case. "Sev, I'm so sorry, I should have gone to check on them and see what they were doing."

"Alice, it happens, and I'm sure Harry was the instigator, since that's his new bit of mischief this month, flushing things down the toilet. This is the tenth time this week that he's done this." The Healer ran a hand through his hair exasperatedly. "I'm about ready to copy all those aunts and uncles in that story _The Elephant's Child_ by Kipling and let you all take a turn spanking him, maybe that will get it through his stubborn little skull not to keep doing this."

"Whoa, take it easy, Sev!" Sirius said. "Isn't that a little harsh? I mean, I think I did that once when I was that age, flushed my mum's earrings or something."

"And what did Casseopia do to you?" Severus demanded. "I'm sure she didn't just pat you on the head and say, oh well, accidents happen and boys will be boys."

"Uh . . .I don't really remember, but knowing my mother . . .she probably walloped my bum," Sirius admitted. "But that's no reason to do it to Harry, Sev. He's just a little kid and all little kids get into trouble."

"You don't need to tell me that, Sirius, I know it all too well. But it's the willful disobedience that's getting to me. He knows he shouldn't do it and yet he does it anyway. It drives me bloody crazy."

"I know the feeling." Alice said sympathetically.

"Well, it wouldn't be a normal Sunday at the Snapes if some Harry-related catastrophe didn't occur," Remus remarked.

Severus shot the werewolf a dirty look. "Sure, _you_ can be amused by this, Moony, since it isn't your house that's getting turned upside down. Maybe I ought to bring Harry over to your house and unleash him there. He'd give poor Misty the screaming horrors."

Remus blanched. "No, please. There's a reason why I never married and had kids, and it's got nothing to do with my being a werewolf. I like kids, but not living with me."

"Cause you're a neat freak, Remus. Like the Healer over there."

"Nothing wrong with that. That's my mother's influence," Remus said calmly. "In a way, we're all products of our upbringing. I daresay you're such a rebel because _your _parents were so straightlaced and proper, right, Siri?"

Sirius considered. "Hmm . . .I guess so, Moony. My parents always wanted me to be the perfect pureblood and frankly, I could give a damn about all that. It was bollocks."

Severus agreed silently. He had always found the pureblooded racism hard to bear, especially during his school years as a member of Slytherin. "Harry will never be made to feel wizards are superior to Muggles or vice versa. I want him to grow up with both cultures to draw on. Assuming I don't nail his hide to a wall first."

"When Nev kept digging up all my house plants and putting them outside, my mother swore it was just a phase and eventually it would stop," Alice told him. "I just had to keep my cool and not let my temper get the better of me. And she was right, but it was damn hard. Hang in there, Sev, and it'll get better."

"I really hope so, Alice. Because the last thing I want is to turn into a hard-arsed bastard like my father."

"That'll never happen, Sev," Sirius declared, softly but with utter conviction. "You're nothing like your old man."

Remus nodded in agreement. "You're a good father, Sev. Better than any of us would be, and I'm including James in that assessment."

"Right on, Moony. James would've thought it was a lark and said he was a chip off the old block and the kid would've grown up as wild and crazy as he did." Alice said.

"Charles and Anna disciplined him. I was there and I saw it plenty of times," Severus recalled. "Only it didn't really take."

"James was in a class by himself. A trickster at heart then and always," Lily said from the hallway. "But Harry's not like that. James minded getting in trouble for about five minutes or so and then he was off on the next harebrained scheme. Harry really minds when we're angry with him, Sev. I can tell. Only he's got an impulse problem. He doesn't think, he just does."

"Tell me about it." Severus checked his watch. The boys' time out was over. He returned to the kitchen and called both children to him, sitting down so he was nearly at eye level with the two standing before him, looking quite ashamed and repentant. "Harry and Neville, do you understand that what you did, playing with the toilet like that, was wrong?"

"Yes, sir." Neville said, looking down at Severus's boots. "I'm sowwy, Healer Sev. I'll newer do it again."

"I'm sorry too, Daddy." Harry added, sniffling. "I just wanted t'make the giant disappear."

"And instead you caused a flood again," Severus pointed out. "Harry, what is the potty used for?"

"Umm . . .to go pee and poop."

"Yes, _not_ to make toys or toothbrushes or balls disappear in. Now, if you keep this up, I'm going to put a locking charm on the bathroom and from now on you'll have to ask me or your mother when you need to use it and we'll go in and watch you to make sure no more toy soldiers or whatever get flushed away."

"No! No! I can go by myself. I'm a big boy!" Harry cried, for recently he had become Mr. Independent, and wanted to try and do almost everything by himself, without help, including the potty.

"Then stop flushing toys down the drain, am I understood?"

"Yes, sir," Harry said solemnly, mimicking Neville when he addressed his father.

"All right, this is your final warning, Harry." Severus said. "You know, you ought to go to bed without supper because you were so naughty, little boy. But I don't like starving my children, so you can eat supper and then go to bed right afterwards."

Harry whined, "But Daddy, what about Nev? Is he going to go to bed too?"

"That's up to his mother."

Neville groaned, for Alice was the stricter of his parents.

"Is Mummy mad at me?" Harry asked suddenly.

"I'm sure she's very disappointed in you too. Come, let's set the table, it's time for supper."

Sev waved his wand and the dishes flew out of the cabinet and arranged themselves on the table along with the glasses. Severus allowed Harry and Neville to put the utensils on the table and then tell everyone, except for Lily, who was in charge of the food, to sit down and eat.

Alice happened to agree with Severus's decision about bed right after supper, and so it was that the two boys were washed, put in warm pajamas and then put to bed in Harry's room. Harry, who normally fought any early bedtime like the dickens, seemed to realize that he deserved his punishment, and hugged Severus and whispered. "I'm really sorry, Daddy."

"Good, scamp. Next time don't do that, all right?" Sev hugged him back. "All's forgiven. Goodnight, son."

Alice and Lily also came in to say goodnight and within five minutes both little imps were sleeping soundly, leaving the adults free to eat dessert and relax, which was how a Sunday should be, even in a wizard household.

**Well, how did you all like that one?**

Anybody's kid ever do something like that? That was my nephew Drew's favorite game when he was that age.


	21. Playing With Fire

**Warning--some parental non-graphic CP in this one!!**

**Playing With Fire**

__

August 13, 1983

It was Severus and Lily's first year anniversary, and the two had been looking forward to a relaxing weekend in Devon, near the seashore, where they could celebrate their first year of marriage. They had made arrangements with Molly Weasley for Harry to spend the weekend there, so he could get to play with Ron and the other members of the Weasley clan. Harry didn't mind at all, he had been best friends with Ron since they went to the Auror daycare together and they'd tried to climb the same tree and fell down and scraped their knees bloody and had to be fixed up by Severus. Since then, Ron and Harry had made regular playdates over each other's houses and Molly had assured the Snapes that it'd be no trouble at all to watch Harry for the weekend. "What's one more in my house?" she had laughed.

Harry loved it at the Weasleys, there was always something interesting going on there, and ever so many kids to play with and get into mischief with also. Of course, the usual mischief makers were the irrepressible twins, Fred and George, who had a talent for trouble like none other. Their father Arthur called them "Loki's Children" and prayed that he would survive the twins' rise to adulthood. Harry, who had a pretty good sense of humor, and was in general a good sport, did not mind if they played silly pranks on him, unlike Ron, who hated it when they teased him over his fear of spiders, and Ginny, who was easily frightened and cried at half their pranks.

The first night Harry was at the Burrow, Molly made them go out to watch Percy and Charley, who was almost graduated from Hogwarts, de-gnome the garden. Charley was a big bluff teenager, always smiling, and he called over to Harry, "Hey, watch this, little snake!" and he grabbed a nasty yellow stinky gnome by the foot and swung it around three times and then sent it flying across the field. Harry was called "little snake" because of his fondness for wearing clothing with snakes on them. "Bet you'll be in Slytherin like your dad," predicted the older boy, when Harry had asked him what House he would get put in.

Harry was glad to hear that, since he loved his adopted father very much, and wanted to be just like Sev when he was grown. He clapped his hands and yelled, "Go, Charley!" when the gnome was knocked head over heels. "Do it again, Charley!"

"Yeah, do it again!" Ron yelled, looking at his brother with utter adoration. Charley was always happy to read stories or take Ron and Harry on outings to the park or down to the small pond or into the little woodland that bordered the Burrow. He was patient and calm and never sought to belittle his brother or Harry or say they were pains the way Percy did sometimes.

Percy, not to be outdone, grabbed two smaller gnomes and banged their heads together and chucked them into a stand of oak trees. "Take that, you mangy things!" he cried, dusting off his hands. "And stay out of our garden!"

Harry and Ron cheered enthusiastically and wished they were old enough to de-gnome the garden like the big boys. But the gnomes were too quick and some of them were vicious and would bite when cornered, so Harry and Ron were forbidden to go near them.

Ginny wandered outside and spotted them, she was just two and tagged along after Ron and Harry everywhere. Harry didn't mind, but Ron thought she was a pest and sometimes told her to leave them alone. But Ginny was stubborn and she never listened to her brother. "Hawwy, Ronnie, play wif me!"

Ron took one look at his red-haired sister and groaned. She was dressed in a cute one-piece romper, pink with little kittens all over it, her silky hair in a cute bow. "Not now, Ginny. We're watching Charley and Percy fight the gnomes."

Ginny put her thumb in her mouth and hovered near Harry, watching for a bit as well. But she didn't like the gnomes, their ugly dried-up faces with their bent noses and scraggly yellow teeth frightened her. She shook a finger at them and said, "Bad! Bad gnomies! Get out of Mummy's garden!" Then she stamped her foot. "NOW!" she screeched on the top of her lungs and all of her brothers and Harry flinched and covered their ears.

Apparently, the gnomes didn't care for Ginny's shrill banshee wail either, for they burrowed into the earth lickety-split and quickly moved out of range of the little girl's voice, much to everyone's relief. "Gnomies all gone?" she asked Ron.

"Uh huh. You scream too loud, Gin." Ron complained.

"My ears hurt," Harry agreed, for she had been right next to him when she had screamed.

But Charley and Percy were full of praise for their little sister, and declared her first-rate. Charley even carried her about on his shoulders for a bit, until she asked to be put down. "Play wif Ronnie and Hawwy now," declared the princess of the Weasley clan, and her brother set her down.

She toddled over to the three-year-olds and said imperiously, "Play dollies now?"

Ron shook his head. "No! Dolls is for girls, silly!"

Ginny looked like she was about to cry then. Harry knew if Ginny started crying it would bring Mrs. Weasley, and rather than have that happen, he said, "Okay, Gin. We can play dragons and dolls." He still had Smokey, his purple stuffed dragon, and he didn't mind playing with Ginny every once in awhile, so long as he could make up the stories about the dragon and the dolls.

Ron stared at Harry as if he'd turned blue with pink spots. "Harry! I don't wanna play with her! I wanna play Hogwarts Express."

"We can. After." Harry said agreeably.

Ron scowled sulkily. But he knew if he didn't play with Ginny then he would be forced to play by himself, and he didn't want that either. So he reluctantly agreed to play with the little girl.

Twenty minutes later, Molly came into Ron's bedroom, which he shared with the twins, and picked up Ginny and put her down for a nap. Ron was happy then, for now he could play runaway train and other games with Harry.

Later on in the evening, after a ham and cheese casserole for supper, Molly gave Ron and Harry a bath and then had Arthur read to them before putting them to bed. That first night, Harry slept like the dead, only waking once in the middle of the night to use the potty, and the next morning he woke eager for some new adventures.

But that Saturday, Charley wanted to go and play Quidditch with his friends and Percy was reading a new book on enchantments he'd borrowed from the library, so that left Fred and George and Ron to play with Harry. The twins were nearly six, and playing pretend no longer satisfied them. "Let's go and do something fun," said Fred.

"Like what?" Harry asked, he could tell it was Fred because of the F on his shirt. Molly had tagged all their shirts that way so she could recognize her sons, and the charm couldn't be fooled, even if the twins tried to switch shirts.

"Something different," said George, scratching his head.

"Like making a slug potion?" Ron guessed.

"No. We did-"

"-that already. Besides, Mum took our-"

"-potions kit away after we put chopped beetles in her stew," Fred told them, smirking.

Harry wrinkled his nose. "Yuck! Did she eat it?"

Both twins nodded, their blue eyes twinkling. "Before she knew what was in it," snickered George.

"Was Mum mad?" Ron wanted to know.

"Uh .. .yeah. She made us-"

"-stand in the corner for seven minutes and-"

"-smacked our bums. Oww!" they chorused. Then they grinned like mischievous monkeys. "But it was worth it, to see our mum eat bugs."

Harry didn't think his mother would like it if he did that to her. He knew for sure his daddy wouldn't like it at all, and he resolved to never do that to his parents, because he didn't want to get a time-out and a smack. "You wanna draw?" he asked them, because he hadn't made a new picture for his art wall in a week.

But the twins weren't in the mood to do anything so tame as making pictures. "Later," said George, looking questioningly at his twin. "Fred, do you know where Dad put the box of wizard crackers?"

His twin considered for a moment. Then he nodded. "Uh huh. I saw him put it on the top of the closet."

George sighed. "Oh no! How can we get it down?"

"Dunno."

George looked thoughtful, his clever brain kicking into mischief mode. "I know! Ron can stand on top of me and get it." He gazed at his small brother earnestly. "Right, Ronnie?"

"But George, Dad put them there 'cause you can't play with them. 'Member?" Ron reminded his brother uneasily. "He said we weren't to touch them, or else."

"Or else what?" Harry asked.

"Or else we'd get spanked," Fred explained.

Harry was puzzled. "What's that?"

"You don't know?" Ron asked, surprised.

"Haven't you ever-"

"Gotten spanked, Harry?" asked Fred.

"No, least I don' think so."

George whistled. "Lucky. A spanking's when your mum-"

"-or dad smacks your bum hard a lot of times, till you cry." Fred finished.

Harry gaped at them. "Your mum did that to you?" He couldn't quite picture kind Molly who always called him a "sweet little lad" and hugged him, hitting her sons hard enough to make them cry.

The twins nodded, wincing.

"They was bad," Ron chimed in. "They touched Mum's wand."

Harry shivered. He knew all too well how bad that was. He'd picked up Severus's wand once and ended up in time-out for a whole eight minutes and got yelled at and smacked on the hand.

The twins shrugged. "That was last year. We were just little kids then," George snorted.

"You is still a little kid, Georgie," Harry reminded.

"No we're not!" shouted Fred. "You and Ronnie are little, we're almost grown-up."

Ron sniffled. "I wanna be a grown-up."

Fred eyed his little brother. "Okay. Then help us get the crackers from the closet."

Ron hesitated. He didn't want to get in trouble with his mother or father, but neither did he want his brothers to think he was a little baby. He was tired of being too little to do anything. "Okay."

Harry shook his head. "Ron, you're gonna get in trouble."

"Only if Mum finds out." Ron said.

The twins led the way to the closet near the door, and opened it. There, on a shelf high above their heads, was a box with colorful pictures on it.

"There it is!" said George, with all the awe of a religious man seeing a holy icon for the first time. "But we need-"

"-the chair from Percy's room." Fred said.

The twins ran off to get Percy's desk chair from his room and brought it back to stand in front of the closet. Then Fred climbed up on the chair and George picked up Ron and put him on Fred's shoulders. Then Ron was tall enough to reach the box of colorful wizard crackers.

He carefully took them down and lowered them into George's hands, muttering, "Georgie, we are going to be in so much trouble if Mummy finds out."

His brother looked a little alarmed, but then he shrugged and said, "Only if you tell, Ronnie. An' you won't, right?"

Ron knew better than to act like a little tattletale, his brothers wouldn't stand for it, and would make his life miserable, so he just nodded. "No, I ain't a big mouth."

George turned to Harry. "You won't say nothing, will ya, Harry? Otherwise Mum might spank you too for helpin' us."

Harry shook his head rapidly. He had no wish to experience a spanking from Mrs. Weasley or anyone else for that matter!

"Okay, then. Let's hurry up and get outside b'fore she sees." Fred said. "I'll put the chair back, and Ronnie, you get a blanket from your room t'hide the cracker box. Then you go outside with Harry and we'll meet you."

The younger boys obeyed without questioning and went outside to await further orders from the two mischievous scamps.

After a few minutes, they heard the back door slam and the twins appeared on the walk. They beckoned to the little boys to follow them and they went towards the woods at the edge of the uncleared field that bordered the Weasley land. Beyond the garden was a large field full of tall grass and weeds and rocks, the perfect place to play pretend in a jungle, like Mowgli and Bagheera and Shere Khan in _"The Jungle Book"_, Harry thought. He would have to tell Ron and the twins about that story, they'd probably never heard of it, since it was a Muggle book.

The twins led them nearly to the edge of the field, where there was a cleared plot of dirt. It was here where their older brothers practiced battle spells, like the Fire Charm, under the supervision of their father. Fred unwrapped the box of crackers and set it down in the middle of the space. Then he opened the box and began to divide up the different kinds of crackers, splitting them evenly with his twin.

"I'll go first," George stated. "I saw Dad light these here a lot." He opened a small covered bowl.

Inside was a burning piece of wood, and George carefully touched the end of the cracker to the fiery part of the wood. The cracker caught immediately and George backed the other kids away as the cracker began to hiss and sputter.

The fire traveled down the thin fuse and then the cracker exploded with a loud POP!

Ron and Harry jumped a bit, but the cracker wasn't really too loud.

George lit off several more and then moved onto the big ones, which made an even bigger pop and shot up in the air a little.

"Wicked!" Ron cheered, clapping.

"Yay!" Harry said, grinning.

Some of the crackers shot off colorful sparks and jets of light, but the best and biggest one was a Dragon Cracker. It not only made a loud KA-BOOM! It also flew high in the air and exploded into a green dragon shape.

"Oooh!" shrilled the three-year-olds as they saw the dragon appear out of the smoke.

"My turn!" Fred ordered, and then he began lighting off several with the ember of wood as well.

Only he tried lighting off too many and the resulting bangs made everyone's ears hurt.

Harry put his hands over his ears, whimpering, "Too loud, Freddy! My ears hurt."

"Sorry. Lemme try this one. It's a sphinx." Fred drew out one of the biggest crackers and lit the fuse.

The sphinx exploded and showered Ron and Harry with little hot sparks.

The two boys started crying, for they hadn't been expecting to get burnt when they had agreed to watch the twins shoot off the crackers.

Then too, the resulting noise and the glittering golden sphinx high in the air, made Molly glance out the kitchen window, to see what on earth was making such a racket. She couldn't miss the golden sphinx hovering in the air and she gasped in horror, for she recognized that particular firecracker. Arthur had shot almost all of them off when it was Bill's birthday.

"Merciful Merlin!" she gasped. "They're shooting off wizard crackers!" Her heart nearly leaped out of her throat, imagining the field full of dry grass catching fire from a stray spark and going up like an oil-soaked lantern wick. She didn't even pause to think, she simply Apparated to where the sphinx was outlined in the sky.

The children were so busy admiring the glittering sphinx that they didn't even realize Molly was among them until they heard her cry, in a voice that was a mixture of horror and fury, "What the bloody blazes are y'doing, playing with _fire_, Frederick and George Weasley?"

George dropped the last two crackers he'd been holding, trying to look innocent, and Fred backed away, his blue eyes wide, as Molly advanced upon them, her face grim as death. "Mum, we were just havin' a bit of fun!"

"Fun!" the angry witch exclaimed. "FUN! You could have set the woods and this field on _fire_, young man! And burned yourselves and Ron and Harry to cinders. You've been extremely naughty and careless and I'm ashamed of you both! How in Merlin's name did you get the crackers, boys?" She waved her wand and the crackers vanished and so did the ember of wood.

The twins cried out in dismay and exchanged worried glances.

Then Ron, who had a rather nasty burn on his arm, tugged on Molly's apron and said, "Mummy, my arm hurts."

Molly looked down at her youngest son, and the burnt limb he held out for inspection, it was red though not very large. Even so, it stung quite badly and Ron was crying softly. "Oh sweet heavens, Ronnie! What happened?"

"Umm . . .the fire light burned me," replied the three-year-old honestly. "Harry too."

Molly was horrified. "Harry, did you get burnt too?"

Harry nodded and showed her his own arm, which had also gotten singed. "But it was an accident, Mrs. Molly." An accident was what a lot of people went to his dad's office to get fixed from.

"That's as may be, but those two little rascals are in serious trouble." She shot her twins a very disapproving look and they hung their heads and looked down at their feet.

"We're sorry, Mum!" they pleaded, knowing full well it wouldn't do any good.

"Are you now? Humph! You're going to be a lot sorrier when I get through with you. March straight to your room, lads! Quick, now!"

The twins obeyed and then Molly scooped up both Harry and Ron and Apparated inside the house with them. "Okay, luv, let's fix you up," she said to Harry, who was sniffling and wishing his daddy were here to make him feel better.

Molly quickly summoned some burn salve and some sticking bandages and proceeded to soothe away the dreadful sting left by the burns. Harry thought she did almost as good a job as his dad and felt much better afterwards. Then she did the same for Ron. "There! How's that, better?"

"Yes, Mummy." Ron answered respectfully.

"Good." She hugged both little ones to her, relieved beyond words that neither of them had sustained serious injuries. She would have never forgiven herself if either had been grievously hurt. "Now, go and play, while I deal with those two naughty little imps."

She picked up a wooden spoon from the counter and stuck it into her apron pocket with a grim yet saddened look on her face. She disliked spanking her children, but occasionally felt that such a punishment was necessary to teach them right from wrong, especially in this case.

Ron gulped. "You gonna spank them, Mum?"

"Yes, I am, and then they're going to stay in their room all day and go to bed early too. And when your father comes home, he's going to have a long talk with them as well."

She headed off towards the upstairs loft.

Ron and Harry remained frozen in the kitchen.

"Uh oh!" Harry swallowed hard.

They could hear Molly lecturing from the loft.

" . . .could have _died_! Or been burnt to a crisp . . .when will you learn not to touch what doesn't belong to you? . . .What were you thinking? . . .Fun! Playing with fire isn't fun, young man, it's very very bad! Your dad and I have told you over and over never _ever_ to set anything on fire . . .If the field had caught fire you could have all died and our house might've burned to the _ground_! You've behaved like naughty reckless little monsters and I'm very upset with you both! _Very _upset!"

They heard the twins apologizing again.

"Sorry won't keep you from getting a sound spanking on your bare backside with my spoon, George Michael Weasley. Or you either Frederick," she said sternly. "And you can both stay in your room for the rest of the day and go to bed early after supper."

"No! No, Mum, please!" the twins pleaded. "We'll never do it again! Promise!"

"I certainly hope not. Now come here."

More protests, to no avail, followed, and then the next sound Harry heard was a sharp crack and a little boy wailing loudly.

Five minutes later, Molly came back down the stairs, looking tired and strangely sad, leaving two very unhappy sobbing mischievous children behind in the loft room. She had spanked both twins soundly, giving them six smacks apiece with her infamous spoon, and even though she knew it was richly deserved, she felt like an ogress.

She returned to making dinner with a vengeance and vegetables and meat began to chop themselves up on the counter in a frenzy, and a pot of broth and spices stirred itself swiftly. "Those two are going to drive me up a wall and then some, by Merlin's ever-loving wand!"

Harry exchanged glances with Ron, and the two crept off down the hall to the den to color in one of Ron's magical coloring books, where the pictures moved when you finished coloring the picture with the erasable crayons. They could still hear Fred and George sobbing above them, and Harry thanked Merlin that Molly hadn't decided to wallop him with that spoon. He vowed solemnly to never ever play with any kind of fire or wizard crackers ever.

When Arthur, Percy, and Charley got home, the twins got another lecture and also grounded for a week from their father, and Arthur made sure the box of wizard crackers was hidden away where no curious or mischievous scamp could find them.

They all ate Molly's tasty beef stew for supper, though Fred and George ate their standing up in a corner, since naughty boys didn't get to eat with the rest of the family, and their bottoms were sore as well.

That night, when Molly came to tuck them all into bed, she read them a story about a bad little boy who played with matches and nearly burned down the whole forest, as a cautionary tale. Harry fell asleep with Smokey clutched to his chest and promised the stuffed dragon that he would never ever be as bad as the twins, because if their new house burned down they would have to move in with Aunt Petunia and Uncle Vernon and that was just as bad, if not worse, than getting spanked with a spoon.

But that was the worst thing that happened all weekend, and Harry enjoyed the rest of his stay at the Burrow. When Severus and Lily came to get him, he cried and begged them to let him stay one more day.

"Didn't you miss us, scamp?" asked Lily, tickling him under the chin.

"Yeah, but I like playing over here, Mum." Harry whined. "At home I got no one to play with 'cept Smokey." He heaved a huge sigh. "I wish I had a little brother or a sister to play with."

"You can borrow Ginny," Ron offered quickly. "Then Mum will get me a puppy."

"Ronald!" Molly exclaimed. "You don't really mean that."

"Do too, Mum. I'd rather have a puppy than Ginny. She's a royal pain in the bum!" Ron said honestly.

The two Snapes chuckled at the little boy's forthright attitude, then Sev bent and scooped up Harry. "C'mon, scamp. Let's go home. I've got a surprise for you."

Harry quit whining. "A surprise? What is it?"

"You'll see, when we get home." Severus promised. "Thank you, Molly, for watching him."

"Anytime, Sev. He's very well-behaved, you know."

Severus looked pleased. "Glad to hear it. I think he's finally growing out of the tantrum stage."

Then they Apparated away back to Aspen Avenue, where they gave Harry his surprise, a toddler's potions kit, so now he could practice making potions with his mother and father, both of whom were geniuses at that particular subject.

**Hope you all enjoyed this one!**

A whole box of Honeydukes chocolate and strawberries to everyone who has been R&R this!

**Chapter dedicated to my nephew Joe, who also played with fire at that age, and fortunately didn't burn down his house.**


	22. I Wish

**I Wish**

Though she had a wonderful time with Severus celebrating their first-year anniversary, Lily did not want Harry to feel neglected, and so one day after their return, she decided to spend some quality time with her son, just the two of them, since Severus was on call all weekend.

Harry had been so excited over his first potions kit that Severus had to read to him some basic potions and their ingredients right away when they had arrived home. Then he showed Harry the pictures of the different ingredients and summoned them from his lab as well. He then had the honor of instructing the eager little boy on how to make a Color Change potion, which was merely a draft that would change colors as you directed. It was harmless, had no side effects, and would then make the drinker change colors for twenty minutes.

Harry was delighted, carefully following Sev's directions, and the first potion was a success. Harry and Severus both drank some and had fun changing each other to different hues before the draft wore off. Lily had watched and laughed right along with them, for her normally serious husband rarely indulged himself that way, though he did have a wry sense of humor.

"Mummy make potions with me too?" her son asked, his green eyes alight with joy.

"Yes, love, but not right now. Now Mummy needs to take a nice long shower and unpack from her trip." Lily told him, kissing his cheek. "But you're going to be a wonderful potion maker, Harry, just like your daddy."

Harry grinned at that and so did her husband, who found it a novel experience to have a youngster following in his footsteps. Then Severus gave her an arch look and murmured, "It's too bad I can't join you for that nice hot shower, Lily mine."

"Severus!" she mock-scolded, blushing. Then she gave him a wicked smile and whispered, "If Harry weren't awake, my sweet, you could."

He sighed. "Too bad. Ah, well, I can dream. Go, before I lose what little self-control I have left." He gave her a gentle pat on the bottom, smirking lasciviously.

She laughed, all sultry and seductive, and then slipped away to the master bedroom with its connecting bath to indulge herself, leaving her husband to watch their inquisitive son and fantasize about what would go on in private later that night in the bedroom.

Harry tugged on his sleeve and pointed to another elementary potion. "Daddy, what's this one?"

Severus read the potion title aloud. "This is a Warmth Potion, Harry. It makes you feel all warm and cozy when you drink it. Good for those chilly days in November." He began to read out the ingredients, and Harry tried to make out the letters and words he knew in the potions manual. He had already learned the alphabet and how to write his name, and was anxious to learn more words so one day he could read all by himself, like his mum and daddy did.

"Can we make this one too, Daddy?"

"Yes, but not just yet, son. It's a bit more advanced. Why don't we try the Candy Cane Elixir? It makes a potion that makes your breath smell like candy canes for thirty minutes." Sev suggested. It was also a cinch to make, only using four ingredients and requiring about five minutes to brew.

Harry agreed, and they began to make it. By the time Lily emerged from her watery cocoon, smelling like strawberries and mangos, the Candy Cane Elixir had been brewed and they all had a drink of it, and Harry ended up taking a nap with his breath smelling like candy canes.

Lily had promised to make potions with Harry tomorrow, and she intended to keep that promise, among others. So, after she had seen her husband off to work with a lingering goodbye kiss, she fried up some hash browns and sausage and eggs for herself and Harry. She knew there were cooking spells for that kind of thing, but had found that the spells often made the food taste rather dry and dull, and she had grown up the Muggle way, and preferred to cook the old-fashioned way.

Harry woke up in a sunny mood, ready to create some more fun elixirs with his mother. He ate all of his toast, eggs, hash browns and some sausage and drank all of his milk besides. Then Lily conjured him a smock to wear so he didn't ruin his clothes and they began to make some more potions from the kit.

They made a Bubbly Brew, which was one that foamed and frothed and made lots of bubbles that changed colors and fizzed all over the sides of the cauldron. Lily and Harry had fun counting and popping them. They made a bit of a mess, but since they were brewing outside, neither of them cared.

"How about the Flower Power draft next, scamp?" Lily asked, laughing when bubbles popped in her hair.

"Okay, Mum. What's that do?"

"It makes flowers grow when you pour it on the ground," Lily told him. Depending on the kind of flower pieces you added, it would grow that variety of flower. "Let's pick some marigolds and some tulips and snapdragons."

Harry raced about the yard, picking all kinds of flowers, until he had one of each kind. Then they added them one at a time to the cauldron and Lily let Harry stir it four times.

The mixture was soon giving off a very potent and invigorating smell, and Lily timed the draft, letting it steep the required five minutes before decanting the blue potion into the plastic beaker that came with the kit. "Okay, Harry. Let's see if it worked."

Harry went over to the edge of the garden, where there was a spare patch of tilled soil, and carefully poured the potion onto the soil.

In a matter of minutes, a shoot sprang up, and then another, and still another. The flowers grew rapidly, each one blossoming in about two minutes. Harry clapped his hands and yelled, "Yay! Look, Mummy! Look at the pretty flowers!"

Lily came up beside him and hugged him. "Such a beautiful little garden, Harry!"

"I like this potion, Mummy. It's neat."

"I like it too."

Soon all the flowers had grown and then Harry bent down and picked them and handed them to Lily. "For you, Mum. I growed them special."

"Oh, Harry!" She scooped him up and kissed him. "Thank you! You're a sweet little imp."

"And do you love me forever?"

"Forever and ever. Until the stars fall from the heavens, Harry my sweet." She spun around, Harry in her arms, and the sweet smell of flowers filled the air and surrounded them in a fragrant cloud.

"What would you like to do next?" asked Lily, for she had told Harry this day was special, and he could spend it all with her, doing whatever he wanted.

"Umm . . .I wanna eat a snack now," he stated. 'I'm hungry."

"Sounds good to me. Brewing all those potions is hard work, huh?"

And they went inside to eat some oatmeal biscuits and have tea, though Lily made Harry's mostly milk, since too much caffeine was not healthy for growing boys.

* * * * * * *

Later on, Lily took Harry to the park, so he could play with some other little children his own age for once, and she watched as her son climbed all over the jungle gym, rode the springy horse, and helped him swing on the swings.

Then they headed home and Lily made a small picnic style lunch which they ate on a blanket in the grass. It was then, while they were lying side-by-side, playing a game of Imagine That with the clouds, that Harry said, "Mummy, you know what I wish Father Christmas would bring me?"

"You're thinking about Christmas presents already, Harry?" Lily laughed. "It's the middle of August."

"I know, but he needs time to make this wish come true." Harry said, his green eyes serious.

"Oh? And what wish is that?"

Harry's eyes met his mother's and he said, "I really want a baby. A little sister or maybe a brother."

Lily blinked, startled. She recalled Harry mentioning that when they were leaving the Weasleys, but hadn't really taken it seriously. She had assumed it was a case of wanting what other kids had because it was new, like a novelty. But gazing into her son's green eyes, she saw that Harry was very serious. _Merlin! Now what? It isn't as if I don't want another child, I'd love to have Sev's baby, a dark-haired little girl with her daddy's black hair and my eyes, such a pretty thing she'd be. Or a little boy with Sev's bright intelligence and my red hair, though hopefully not my temper! I can't understand why I haven't gotten pregnant yet. It's certainly not for lack of trying!_ She felt herself blush, recalling last night, but then her joy was marred by a strange uneasiness. She hadn't seemed to have any trouble getting pregnant before, Harry had been born nine months from her wedding night with James. Still, perhaps it was different the second time around . . .?

"A little brother or a sister, huh? Would you look after and love the baby always, Harry?"

The three-year-old nodded. "Uh huh. I played a lot with Ginny when I was at Ron's, Mum. She's not so bad for a girl, once you get used to her. But Ron says she's a pain and she screams too loud."

Lily giggled. "That's a common complaint of older brothers, Harry. Babies take up a lot of time and at first they sleep, eat, and cry a lot."

Harry considered. That didn't sound like too much fun. "But someday I could play with the baby, right?"

"Yes, but not for months and months, scamp. Think you could wait that long for the baby to grow up a little?"

"_That_ long, Mummy? But why?"

Lily shifted so she was lying on her side, and Harry was curled up in her arm, facing her. The fresh smell of cut grass tickled their nostrils and the summer wind twined playfully in her hair, making fiery tendrils escape from her braid to curl down her face.

"Well, when a baby is born, they're too little to do much, they need to grow up, Harry. And growing up takes a long time. You're three, and you're not even close to being grown-up, now are you?"

"No. But can we have a baby, Mum? Please? I'm big, I can help feed her and teach her letters and play with her. And then I'll be the big brother. Ron says it's good to be bigger, 'cause then you can tell your little sister to get lost if she's being a pain in the arse."

"Harry James Severus! What have I said about using that word?" Lily demanded sternly, though she fought back a smile.

Harry put a hand over his mouth. "Ooops. I forgot. Sorry."

"All right, but if you say that word again, you know what happens."

Harry nodded. He knew quite well about how yucky soap tasted when you said bad words. "Is it true, what Ronnie said?"

"Actually, scamp, I'd have to say your Aunt Petunia would agree with that, since she used to say when we were kids that I was an awful pain, always following her around and asking to do everything with her. That was before I met your dad, though. After that, we played together and I didn't need Tuney for company."

"I'd rather play with Dad than Aunt Petunia. She's mean," Harry stated, recalling the only time he'd met his aunt, and how she had smacked him across the face.

Lily couldn't blame him for saying that, for she had never really forgiven her sister for her behavior at the reunion, especially towards Harry. "Me too, love."

After a moment, Harry asked, "Mum, do you wish you had a little baby?"

Lily stroked his flyaway hair. "Yes, little imp. Sometimes I wish very much for that."

"An' does Daddy too?"

"Yes, I imagine he does," answered Lily. Perhaps Severus was wondering, like she was beginning to, why his wife had not gotten pregnant. She knew he would love a little girl, one that looked like her mother, or even a son, he had said as much on their wedding night.

"Should we wish upon a star then? Mrs. Molly said sometimes wishing on a star will make something come true."

"We can if you want to, Harry." Lily said, resolving to speak to Severus about their son's desire to have a baby as soon as she could. Perhaps she would also have him examine her, just to make sure there was nothing wrong.

"Tonight?"

"Yes, tonight. Now, let's lie back here and look at the clouds. I think I see a mermaid there, off to the right." She pointed at a cloud that vaguely resembled a mermaid shape. "What do you see, Harry mine?"

"Uhh . . .I see . . .a big dragon. Right over there!" His little finger pointed to a cloud that resembled a dragon quite a bit.

"Very good! And now I see . . .a wolf howling."

"I see a lion!"

"I see a unicorn!"

"I see a castle."

"I see a giant."

"A bad one or a good one?" Lily asked.

"A good one. He likes little kids." Harry said.

"I see a beautiful woman and her scamp of a little boy," said a new voice.

Harry sat bolt upright. "Daddy! You're home!" He jumped up and ran to throw himself at Sev's knees, tackling him enthusiastically.

"Sev! You're back from the hospital so soon?" Lily cried, smiling up at him.

"Yes, I had no pending cases down in Spell Damage and no women in labor, so I decided to come home. If they need me, they can contact the mirror." He bent down to pick up his son, tossing him up in the air playfully. "Hello, Trouble! You behaving for your mother?"

Harry giggled and said, "Yes, sir, I been good." Then he looked at his father, who was still wearing his freshly starched white Healer robes and said, "Dad, Mummy and I were wishing, and guess what we wished for?"

"A broom? A spell to keep a mischievous little boy out of trouble for a whole day?"

"No, silly! We wished for a baby!" Harry sang.

"WHAT!" Sev exclaimed, for that was the last thing he had expected.

"A baby, Daddy. I want to ask Father Christmas to bring me a little sister, and Mum said she wished for one too."

"I see." Severus looked over at Lily, one eyebrow raised.

"It was all his idea, Sev. But honestly, I wouldn't mind another."

"Neither would I," the Healer said softly.

Harry grinned. "Goody! Now can I make my Christmas list? And Daddy, you can wish on a star tonight like Mummy and me. And then, maybe tomorrow, a baby will be here."

Severus bit back a chuckle. "What do you think, babies get delivered by owl post?"

"Somethin' like that." Harry said. Then another thought occurred to him. "Do they leave 'em at the hospital, Dad? So then we could go and pick ours out."

"Uh . . .not exactly, Harry." Severus coughed. "What were you doing before, Harry? It looked like fun." He sat down on the grass next to his wife, Harry on his lap.

"Seeing things in the clouds," Harry answered, but he was not to be distracted for long about his current topic of interest. "Dad, where do they get the babies?"

Sev rolled his eyes heavenward. "Three, and he's already asking me _that_ question!" He cleared his throat. "Harry, a baby comes from a mother and a father. The mother . . .she carries the baby around inside her for nne months and then it gets born."

"Really? Like the way Auntie Min said Mrs. Norris had kittens?"

"Yes, exactly like that." Severus said.

'Not _exactly _like that, severus Snape," Lily snorted, giving her husband a playful smack on the top of his head. "If women had babies like a cat had kittens, _you'd_ be out of a job, mister!"

Severus smirked. "Okay, Lil! It was just a metaphor, for Merlin's sake. He's too little for me to explain it any other way." He leaned over and kissed her soundly. "Perhaps someday soon he'll see for himself, little flower."

She buried her face in his shoulder. "Oh, Sev! I really wish that would come true! But . . ."

She hesitated, looking strangely pensive and uneasy.

"But what, Lil?" He curled an arm around her, hugging her and Harry to him. "What's wrong?"

"Nothing. I'm probably just being a Nervous Nelly. But I thought . . .since I haven't . . .you know . . .that something might be wrong with me. '

"Have you been feeling sick?"

"No, no. Only a little run down and tired, but then what mother of an overactive three-year-old isn't?"

Severus was not fooled, however. He knew her too well. Something had her spooked. "Lily, if it'll make you feel better, we can go to my office on Monday and you could let either me or Matthew examine you. Just to put your mind at rest."

Slowly, she nodded. "Yes, that might be a good idea. I know I'm probably stressing out over nothing, Sev." She gave him a rueful chuckle.

"It never hurts to be sure," he murmured, caressing her hair lovingly in that tender erotic way he had.

"Monday then, I'll meet you at the office," she agreed. "I'll see if Molly or Mum can watch Harry for an hour or whatever."

"A good plan. And now, I'm starving, so why don't we see what we can find for supper?"

"I want macaroni and cheese!" Harry yelled.

"Not again! You had that last night," Sev groaned. And for the last week as well, the Healer thought. His current goal was trying to get his son to eat something else from a food group other than bread and dairy, for Harry had suddenly become Mr. Picky Eater. "How about a hamburger?"

"No! Macaroni and cheese!"

"Macaroni and cheese and three bites of a hamburger," Severus countered.

Harry pouted. "But Daddy!"

"Three bites, young man, or else no ice cream." Sev played his trump card.

Harry considered for about two minutes, then gave in, for ice cream was his weakness. 'Kay. I'll eat three bites. An' that's _all_!"

Lily chuckled at her son's definitive tone. "Looks like you won that round, Sev, but you haven't won the war."

"But tomorrow's another day," the Healer replied, then he set his macaroni-and-cheese obsessed son on his shoulder and went inside the house.

Lily trailed after them, hoping that her visit to the office on Monday would put her fears to rest once and for all. But she couldn't shake the feeling that a shadow was looming over her. She brushed off the feeling, telling herself she was being overly sensitive, and entered the kitchen and began making a salad to go with the burgers, fries, and the staple at the Snape table these days-macaroni and cheese.

* * * * * *

That night, Sev and Lily and Harry all gathered by the window and they looked out onto the night sky, where stars glittered in the ebony darkness. Harry kept his eyes peeled waiting for an especially bright star to wish upon. Finally he saw one, and cried, "Mummy! Daddy, look! I see it! A star! My wishing star."

His little hand pointed towards the window unerringly.

The two adult wizards followed the little boy's hand, and saw the brilliant star Polaris, which was of course, the brightest star in the sky. "Make a wish, Harry," Lily said.

Harry closed his eyes and whispered, "I wish . . .I wish I had a baby sister."

Then he opened his eyes and said, "Okay, now it's your turn!" to his parents.

Smiling indulgently, Lily and Sev also made a wish, Lily that all would be well with her family and Severus that Lily and Harry would be healthy and happy. Then they turned away from the window and tucked Harry into bed and read him two stories. "The Littlest Unicorn," a wizarding story about love and friendship and then "The Elephant's Child" from _Just So Stories_ by Kipling.

By the time they were finished, Harry's eyes were heavy with sleep and he was perfectly content to snuggle down with Smokey and drift off to dreamland, with Lily singing softly and Severus stroking his hand through his hair.

Both wizards gazed lovingly down at their innocent child and vowed that they would always keep him safe and somehow find a way to fulfill that longed for wish for a little brother or sister, if possible.

"If we did have another, Sev, would you be ready for it?" Lily teased gently as they tiptoes from the room, leaving a nightlight burning.

"I think after Harry, I'll be ready for anything," Sev answered, smiling.

Lily just shook her head. "Famous last words, Sev."

"And just what is that supposed to mean?"

"It means, Healer Snape, that any child of ours will probably give us gray hairs before we're thirty."

"Care to wager on that, Mrs. Snape?"

"All right. I will bet you twenty Galleons that if I'm pregnant in three months, our child will end up driving us up a wall by the time he or she is three." She held out her hand.

"Done," Sev said, and slapped his palm down on hers. _I truly hope you win that wager, Lily flower,_ he thought, then he said, "And now, it's time for us to spend some quality time together."

"Past time," his wife agreed, then she practically dragged him down the hall to their bedroom.

**Well, what did you think?**

Next: Lily's trip to the Healer's proves to be unnsatisfactory and mystifying.


	23. Something Odd

**Something Odd**

Lily dropped off Harry at her mother's house at nine thirty on Monday morning. Harry burst into the house like a stampede of unicorns and centaurs, yelling, "Granny! Granny! We'rehere!"

Vi came out of the kitchen, wiping her hands on a dishrag. "Hello, luv! Come and give your gran a kiss, sweet boy!" She knelt so Harry could kiss her cheek and hug her as well.

"Mmm. You smell real good, Granny," Harry remarked, sniffing appreciatively.

Vi laughed. "That's because I've been baking bread and honey rolls." The aroma of fresh baked bread, honey, butter, and yeast clung to her round frame.

"Yum! Can I have some?"

"Of course. I have some rolls fresh from the oven cooling. Would you like one too, Lil?"

Lily hesitated. She knew she wasn't going to be late for her appointment, since Sev would see her whenever she showed up at the office, but she did want to get the examination over and done with, so her nerves could either calm down or . . .she shook her head slightly, no, she would not even go there. No sense in scaring herself silly.

"All right, Mum. You know how I love your bread. I could never quite make mine taste as good." Lily admitted.

"That's because you never practiced enough," Vi said, smiling. Then she led the way into the kitchen.

The aroma of freshly baked bread and honey rolls filled the kitchen, and Lily breathed it in with a soft sound of delight. She had missed the wonderful fragrance of fresh bread, it always conjured up memories of home, growing up in this house, coming home from school with Petunia to find fresh bread or biscuits on a plate ready to be eaten for an after school snack.

_I want that kind of thing for Harry,_ Lily thought, sitting down and slathering a honey roll with butter and biting into it. She groaned softly in sheer pleasure. Utter heavenly bliss! _I'll have to start baking again, so when Harry starts school, I can have fresh bread and rolls waiting when he comes home, on the days I'm off._ "They're fantastic, Mum! Just like I remember from when I was a kid."

Vi beamed, she loved when people, especially her family, praised her cooking. "Glad to hear it, Lil. I hadn't baked in over three months and I was afraid I'd lost my touch." She looked at her daughter searchingly. "What are you going to Sev's office for, hon? A yearly exam? You don't look sick to me."

"I'm not . . .But I, well, I wanted Sev to check me out since I haven't yet managed to become pregnant."

Vi put a hand on her arm. "Is there some reason you might be having problems, Lil? Have your courses been regular?"

Lily nodded. "I'm probably worrying over nothing, Mum. But I think, and Sev agrees, that I should let him examine me, just in case. And if there's anything wrong, he can treat me with a potion and that will be that." She had complete faith in Severus to cure and diagnose almost any ailment, he was the top in his field.

"I'm sure you'll be fine, dear. After all, every time is different. It took me longer to get pregnant with you than Petunia. So maybe you take after the Hart side of the family, luv."

Thus reassured, Lily continued eating her roll, savoring the delicate and sweet flavor and the soft texture. She ate another one and drank some tea and then she kissed Harry and Vi goodbye. "Gotta run, Mum, before I eat everything in sight and then Sev will put me on a diet. Harry, be good from your Granny and Pop, y'hear?"

Harry nodded, his mouth was full of bread. "Of course he'll be good for us, Lily. We can go and play at the park and paint pictures for the art wall, right, Harry?"

"Uh huh," muttered the little boy, chewing enthusiastically. He waved goodbye to Lily and then the auburn-haired witch Apparated away to Severus's office.

* * * * * *

Severus frowned, recasting the diagnostic again. His dark brows drew down over his nose sharply, and Lily awaited his diagnosis anxiously. But Severus did not speak immediately, instead muttering to himself.

"Sev? Is something the matter?" she asked nervously. "What does the spell say?"

Severus looked frustrated, running a hand through his dark hair, which he kept cut short so it wouldn't interfere with him when he did surgery on a patient. "The results are . . .inconclusive."

"Inconclusive? I don't understand?"

Her husband looked supremely irritated, though not with her. His irritation was directed at himself. "I cast a specific diagnostic to see if there were any abnormalities or diseases affecting your reproductive system, Lil. But the spell came back negative. Based on this result, there's no reason why you shouldn't be able to bear a child or carry one to term."

"But that's good, right? So why are you so upset, Sev?" Lily asked, heaving an intense sigh of relief.

"Because there's something not quite right with the diagnostic in another area. It's bringing back an odd reading on your blood count, Lil. Nothing really major, but . . .I don't like it." He shook his head. "I'm going to need to perform a few more tests, maybe draw some blood too."

"Oh. Okay, I guess. I have been feeling kind of tired and achy, I thought it was maybe a cold or something. Could it be some kind of anemia? I think my aunt on my dad's side suffered from that."

"Possibly. I'll test your hemoglobin levels," Severus said, though some instinct was nagging him that it was nothing so obvious as a low hemoglobin count. Still, he would not rest until he figured it out. He was a Master Healer, he should be able to diagnose his own wife reliably, by Nimue's Everlasting Cup!

Rubbing his temples, he intoned several more spells, all designed to ferret out any abnormalities with blood cells and levels of iron, cholesterol, and also any magical diseases.

Each spell came back negative.

Severus grew more and more frustrated, for though he was happy the results were good, he felt that somehow he was overlooking something. But at last he set down his wand and said, "Everything checks out, love. You don't have anemia, or any magical blood diseases, like Pritchard's Bleeding Syndrome. Perhaps all you need is several nights of a Dreamless Sleep Potion and an Energy Draft."

Lily smiled, very relieved to have been proven wrong.

Then Severus said, "Still, let me draw a vial of your blood anyhow. There are a few Muggle diseases that can cause fatigue like you've described. Been bitten by any ticks?"

"No. Why?"

"Ticks could carry a disease called Lymes disease. Or perhaps you're sufffereing from chronic fatigue syndrome. None of those would show up on a diagnostic spell because they're strictly Muggle diseases and a wizarding diagnostic was designed to detect basic injuries and ailments and mostly magical diseases."

"No, I don't think I've been bitten by any ticks. How can you get my blood tested, Sev? You'd need access to a Muggle lab in a hospital."

"I know. It's a good thing my old Muggle pediatrician is still around. I can glamour myself to look like him and send the blood down to the lab under his name-Dr. Ferris. Then I'll simply tag the vial when they test it and return for the results later on." Severus said.

"How long will that take?"

"Uh . . .probably a week or so, Muggle labs aren't as fast as ours. Actually, that's not fair, they handle a hell of a lot more patients than we do. But I'll make sure you know the results as soon as I get them, Lily," promised her husband.

"And will you know how to treat those diseases you mentioned?"

"Yes. Once I know the cause and the symptoms, I'm sure I can invent a potion to cure it," Severus said, with more confidence than he felt. He just prayed it was nothing too serious, for cancer was a disease even a Healer found difficult to halt and not even wizards, with their abnormally high resistance to most infectious Muggle diseases, were safe from that dreaded plague. But he would never burden Lily with his insecurity, or scare her unnecessarily, until he knew for certain there was something for her to be concerned about.

If only his instincts weren't screeching at him that he was missing something. He had learned long ago to trust his instincts when it came to medicine. They had never failed him.

Only this time, for the first time ever, he found himself hoping he was wrong, and the blood test came back negative as well.

He quickly picked up a syringe from the cart and after swabbing Lily's arm and having her make a fist, carefully inserted the needle and drew out a vial of his wife's blood. He was quick, neat, and the procedure was almost entirely painless.

"There! I'll send this off tomorrow, and in a week I'll know if you have any kind of Muggle blood problem. It's doubtful, but better safe than sorry, right?" he gently placed some salve on her arm and the place where the needle went in quit bleeding and stinging almost immediately.

Then he removed his gloves and cupped his wife's face in his hands and said, in that soft velvet tone she loved so well, "I love you, Lily flower. I'll see you at home for dinner." His mouth found hers and they kissed for a brief electrifying moment before he released her.

"Goodbye, Sev. See you soon, love." Lily said, rolling her sleeve back down and waving goodbye to the Healer.

"Tell Harry I said hello and we can practice some more potions tomorrow," Severus called and then waved goodbye just before Lily Apparated away to pick up Harry at Spinner's End.

**Thanks to all my wonderful reviewers. Hope you enjoyed both of these chapters.**

Next: Harry has a very bad day . . .and so does Severus.


	24. An Absolutely Awful Day

**An Absolutely Awful Day**

**Warning: some parental CP!**

_Four days later:_

Severus woke up feeling out-of-sorts and exhausted. He'd spent much of the night tossing and turning, unable to sleep, still fretting over the results of Lily's exam. When he finally did manage to fall asleep, he was plagued by nightmares of Lily dying of leukemia or some other disease while he looked on helplessly, unable to save her. _Not_ exactly conducive to a good night's sleep.

Lily, on the other hand, slept soundly due to a dose of Dreamless Sleep, and never even knew her husband spent half the night awake and sick with worry. She rose early the next morning and kissed the sleeping Severus before Flooing off to the Ministry, leaving both her husband and son still wandering the realm of dreams at a quarter to eight.

Severus awoke around eight-thirty, muzzy and feeling as if he could sleep for another year at least. But he knew his little son would be awake soon, and so he had to get up. Reluctantly, he slipped out of his warm comfortable nest of blankets and padded into the adjoining bath. Perhaps a quick hot shower would restore him to consciousness.

By the time he had finished and dressed, he could hear the water running in the bathroom down the hall, right across from Harry's room.

"Harry? What are you doing in there?" Severus called as he walked down the hallway, still feeling a lingering tiredness hovering over him.

"Brushin' my teeth n' going potty, Dad!" Harry yelled back, sounding a bit garbled because of all the toothpaste in his mouth.

Severus waited a minute or two, then asked, "Are you almost finished?"

"Umm. . . kind of."

Something about the way the three-year-old said that made Severus think there was something other than brushing teeth going on, his "up-to-no-good" radar was tingling madly. He had learned never to ignore that warning and so, after an interminable minute, waiting for the water to turn off, he opened the door.

The sight that met his eyes would have sent Martha Stewart into cardiac arrest.

Toothpaste was all over the sink, the vanity, the mirror, and the toilet seat. The sink was filled with what looked like bubbles and his son was waving around a dripping toothbrush, the front of his pajamas decorated with more toothpaste and water.

Water was all over the floor as well as the plastic stepstool Harry used to reach the sink. A towel lay sopping on the tile, apparently Harry had tried to stem the tide of water overflowing from the sink.

Green eyes met disapproving dark ones. "Dad! I'm not finished yet." Harry cried. "I need to-"

"Oh yes you are, young man!" Severus said severely, crossing his arms over his chest. "Look at the mess you made! Toothpaste all over everything," _Merlin! But I can't deal with his shenanigans today, heaven help me!_

Harry started to sniffle and pout. "It was . . .it was an accident."

"Accident, my eye! You were playing around with the faucet and the toothpaste again. How many times do we have to talk about this? Toothpaste is for brushing your teeth, _not_ squirting all over."

Severus drew his wand. "Scourgify." He cast a quick cleaning charm over the bathroom, restoring it to its former neat state. Then he scowled down at his son. "Why would you do such a thing, little boy?"

Harry knew he was in trouble by the way his dad was looking at him, with that "mad face", but he had awoken with an imp of mischief on his shoulder that morning, and it urged him to be bold and defiant.

He shrugged. "'Cause I felt like it." He answered insolently.

Severus felt his temper spike. "You felt like it?" he repeated angrily. His son's outright insolence irritated him past bearing. "Well, then I hope you feel like getting a swat and a time out for your awful behavior too. Come here, Harry James Severus."

Now the little boy was _sure_ he was in trouble. He knew full well what the use of all three names meant. "No-o-o! M' sorry. I don' wanna get a time out!" He put a hand back to cover his bottom. "I'll be good!"

"Too late for that. One."

Harry sniffled, feeling very sorry for himself now. "No! No! I never do it 'gain, Daddy!"

Severus glowered. "Two." He ignored the pathetic eyes his son was making by sheer will and temper. "Better come here or else I add another minute."

"No fair!" Harry pouted.

Sev opened his mouth and Harry abruptly decided his continued defiance wasn't worth it and trudged over to his father, lip quivering.

Sev administered the promised swat, after first removing the little boy's hand, and then carried his now crying child over to the naughty stool in the corner of the kitchen for a five minute time out.

As he watched his mischievous little scamp squirm and pout and whine for the entire five minutes, Healer Snape just knew it was going to be an absolutely awful day.

The next battle came over breakfast. Still sulky and resentful over being punished, even though it had been deserved, Harry decided he'd rather play with his toast and eggs instead of eating them. While Severus was busy scrambling his own egg and buttering his toast at the counter, Harry crushed and crumbled all of his food and tossed it onto the floor, pretending he was feeding some imaginary birds.

"Harry what the blazes do you think you're _doing_?" snapped Severus, upon seeing a carpet of crumbs and egg bits surrounding Harry's chair. "You know better than to play with your food like that! Are you a baby?"

"No! I am a big boy!"

"Then quit acting like a baby and making a mess all over," his father scolded. "Why aren't you eating?"

"Not hungry now."

"Well, now is breakfast, and if you don't eat then don't expect breakfast later. You can just wait until lunch."

Harry shrugged. "Don' care. I wanna make a potion."

"Oh really?" Severus gestured and a broom and dustpan came floating over and began to sweep up the floor. "Unless you start behaving, you won't be making potions at all, mister? Understand?"

Harry stuck his lower lip out and muttered that Severus was mean.

Severus ignored him, eating his own breakfast. He didn't know why his son was in such a mood, but he wasn't going to put up with it. He had a limited tolerance for such willful behavior and he was fast reaching the end of his rope.

Harry did at least drink his milk, then it was time to get dressed and after another whiny session over getting his hair combed, Severus suggested Harry go out in the yard and play for a while. "It's a nice sunny day out, why don't we go and play in the castle?"

There was a child-sized playhouse designed to look like Hogwarts, it had been a gift from Padfoot and Moony for Harry's third birthday, as well as a swing set and a small table and chairs.

But again Harry balked, saying sulkily, "Don't wanna play outside. It's boring! I wanna make a potion."

"Later, in about an hour we can do that," Severus said, for his head was pounding and he knew he wasn't up to concentrating on potion-making at the moment.

Harry looked like he was about to throw a fit, but Severus fastened a Snape Look at him, and he thought better of it. "Okay!" he said, sounding extremely put out. "I'll go play with my trains."

Then the little imp stomped off to his room to get his toy Hogwarts Express.

Severus went into his lab to get a Headache Remedy. Then he returned to the couch and sat down with his eyes shut, waiting for it to start working.

Meanwhile, Harry took his trains into the den and proceeded to play a very loud noisy game called "Smash and Crash" where he made the two engines smash into each other.

Severus shuddered and tried to block it out, but the trains were magical toys with magical sound effects. Every time one crashed, a whistle blew and the sound of the crash was amplified and torturing his already throbbing head. After ten minutes, Severus sat up and growled, "Harry, quit making such a racket. Play something quiet, won't you?"

"But why? I like this game."

"Because I have a headache right now and all that damn smashing and bashing is making it worse."

Harry groaned. It seemed as if he were never allowed to do anything he wanted today. He wished his dad had gone to work today instead of his mother.

Severus settled back on the couch, massaging his temples, and sighed in relief.

Harry set down his train and tried to think of something quiet to do that wouldn't bother his dad's head. He thought and thought and then he had an idea.

* * * * * *

Ten minutes later, Severus's headache had subsided to a dull throb and he was able to sit up and look around. He saw no sign of Harry and suddenly realized it was way too quiet. And that usually meant trouble. "Harry? Where are you?"

"In the titchen, Dad. I'm baking."

"_What?!"_

Severus shot off the couch as if it were fire, running into the kitchen, terrified that his three-year-old was playing with the oven.

But Harry was in the middle of the floor, vigorously stirring a large bowl of flour, water, and sugar together into a gluey paste. Flour was everywhere, the pantry door was open and flour tracked from there into the center of the kitchen, where Harry had finally managed to open the container and spilled over half of it on the floor. Sugar was also all over, Severus's shoes crunched on it as he walked into the kitchen.

Harry was liberally splattered with flour and sugar from head to foot, and wearing a mischievous devil-may-care grin that reminded Severus of a drunken leprechaun.

For one moment, Severus was speechless.

Then he found his voice.

"Great bloody Merlin! Harry James Severus, what _have_ you DONE?"

"Nuffin'. I'm makin' bread like Granny."

Severus longed to bury his head in his hands and scream. Either that or bang his head into a wall. His headache returned with a vengeance. _Why me? Oh, bloody Merlin's balls, why me?_ He drew in a deep breath, reminding himself to count to ten. _You don't want to be arrested for killing your son, Sev. So just breathe and count. _

He gritted his teeth and counted to ten once. Then again, and then backwards for good measure. Until he could speak without becoming a raving lunatic. "Who said you could try. . .baking without me or your mother in the kitchen, little boy?"

Harry gulped. Uh oh. Looked like he was in for it again. "Uh . . .nobody. I came here my own self."

"Harry, do you know _why_ you're not allowed to bake alone?"

"No, sir."

"Take a look around."

Harry did.

"What's wrong with the kitchen?"

"Uhhh . . .it's a big mess?"

"Exactly! The kitchen is a big mess and that's why you're not to bake anything alone, son." Severus put his hands on his hips. "I'm very disappointed in you, Mr. Potter. This is the third time this morning I've had to scold you for making a mess. And frankly, I'm getting tired of it." He waved a hand and intoned a cleaning spell and within minutes the kitchen and Harry were spotless.

Then he banished the bowl with the gluey contents and said, "Now, you're getting a seven minute time out and then I think a long nap is in order."

"No! No nap an' no TIME OUT!" Harry screamed, furious. He couldn't stand another time out in the same morning. He sprang to his feet and ran past Severus out of the kitchen.

Severus spun around and followed. "Harry, come back here right now, young man."

But Harry ignored him, flinging himself on the rug and wailing, "NO NAP!! NO TIME OUT!! NO! NO! NO!" his small fists pounded the rug in a fury.

Severus stared at the little demon shrieking and howling on the rug and wondered if this were some awful nightmare where your child is possessed by maleficent spirits. "Harry James Severus, stop it this instant!" he ordered in his sternest tone.

But Harry was having full blown tantrum and wasn't listening at all. "NO TIME OUT!" he was screaming over and over.

Finally, Severus determined that he had to just pick up the little demon and put him in time out before Harry thought he could get away with throwing a tantrum. He bent to grab the red-faced little child, saying, "You deserve a time out _and_ a good spanking for acting like a spoiled brat."

Harry scrambled away, desperate to avoid his punishment, and his hand closed over the toy Hogwarts Express. Without really thinking about it, he flung the toy right at Severus's head. "Mean, Daddy!"

Severus was unprepared for the train to come flying at him, but luckily Harry couldn't aim very well, and the toy only struck him a glancing blow alongside the head. Even so, it hurt like blazes.

Severus put a hand to his head. "Ow!"

Harry froze, his mouth open in a round O of surprise. He had hurt his father. He hadn't really wanted to do that, but somehow it had happened.

"That does it!" Severus snarled, all his patience evaporated. He snatched up his son and marched back over to the couch, Harry tucked under an arm. "You have been nothing but a spoiled little brat all day and I've had it. You do _not_ throw trains at me ever, young man! I don't care how mad you are." He gave the startled Harry a brisk shake. Then he did something he had sworn he would never do. He turned his son over his knee and spanked him.

Granted, the smacks weren't that hard, they stung however, and Harry was bawling after the second one. Severus gave him a total of four firm smacks, one for each year of his age and one for remembrance.

Harry was shocked and upset, he wriggled and sobbed, understanding perfectly now what the twins had meant by a spanking and very much wishing he didn't! His bum felt as if it were on fire and he also felt terribly guilty for hitting his father in the head with his train. That hurt worse than his bottom, and he cried hysterically.

Severus froze, staring at his hand, which was lifted for another swat, in horror. _Severus, what are you doing? He's just a little boy!_ _You're just like Tobias! _One part of his mind cried. _A little boy who deserves a well-warmed bottom for his behavior, and well you know it,_ scolded the other part of his mind. _And Tobias would've used a belt._ He slowly lowered his hand, and then he picked up his son and held him tightly, wondering if the child hated him now.

Then Harry wrapped his arms about Severus, clinging to him, and Severus patted the child on the back awkwardly. "Hush, scamp. Hush. You deserved that spanking and you know it." Even so, it didn't stop Severus from feeling guilty and upset for spanking the little boy. He continued to hold and rock his son until Harry had managed to calm down long enough to tell Sev he was very sorry.

"Does your head hurt bad?" sniffled the repentant toddler.

"Probably a bit more than your bottom, son." Severus admitted ruefully.

"Ouch!" Harry said emphatically, reaching back to rub it, and wincing. He gazed up at his father, all teary-eyed, and said woefully, "That really hurted, Dad. Worser than a shot. I don't like spankings."

Severus snorted, half in amusement. _I don't like them either, child, and this one was nothing like what I used to get. Thank God you'll never know that kind of pain and fear, you impudent little scamp._ "If you liked it, it wouldn't be much of a punishment, scamp. Next time, behave and don't throw tantrums and I won't need to spank you, all right?"

"I'm sorry, Daddy!" wailed the toddler. "Sorry for hurting you." He buried his head in Sev's neck and cried.

"It's okay, Harry. I forgive you. Just don't ever do it again. Or else you know what will happen." Severus said gruffly, though a part of him was already swearing he would never spank his son again, no matter how naughty he was. He rubbed circles on his son's back until Harry stopped crying.

Then he gently wiped his son's face and made him blow his nose.

"Am I still getting time out?"

"You are, but you don't have to sit down, you can stand in the corner for seven minutes." Severus said, not wanting to be too harsh on the child. He walked over to a corner of the room and set Harry down facing it. "Seven minutes, son. No turning around."

"Yes, sir," the child sniffled, rubbing his bottom forlornly. This was definitely the awfullest day ever!

But at last the time out was ended and Severus took Harry back on his lap and held him until he fell asleep. But instead of putting him in his room for a nap, the Healer curled up on the couch with him and fell asleep as well.

The next time they woke up, both were rested and in much better moods than before. Sev made a potion with Harry and would have made another when he heard a bell ring and felt compelled to go to St. Mercy Hospital in the Muggle side of London.

_The test results. They must be done. I need to get them now._ "Harry. We need to go out for a bit. I need to pick up some papers from the hospital," he told the child, who it seemed, had forgiven him for punishing him. He picked up the little boy and Harry laid his head on his shoulder.

It was faster than expected and Severus Apparated a block before the hospital and put on his glamour and infiltrated the institution.

Harry looked up at his father in puzzlement. "Daddy? Why do you look different?"

"Because I'm in disguise, son. It's a little game." Severus said quickly. "Now hush, I'll be done in a few minutes here."

"Okay, Daddy," Harry said, obedient for once.

Ten minutes later he had the report for Lily Snape in his hand and vanished back to his house.

There, in the privacy of his own home, Severus scanned the report, and felt his heart grow cold within his breast. It was as he had feared. Lily did indeed have something wrong with her. Something that, in its way, was as deadly as cancer.

She was in the beginning stages of systemic lupus, a disease which attacked the auto-immune system, hence the abnormality in Lily's blood.

The sick cold feeling in his gut spread and he half crumpled the report in his fist, cursing low and furious under his breath. Auto-immune deficiency diseases were extremely difficult to treat in those born with magic, since most of the medications Muggles used to treat symptoms were ineffective on wizards, their metabolism broke down the medication too quickly and rendered it nearly useless. And eventually, as she weakened, her magic would try and compensate for it and burn itself out.

It was similar to what had happened to his mother, who had contracted a rare but fatal blood disease. Once her magic had faded, so did she, slipping quietly away one afternoon holding Severus' hand.

He felt tears come to his eyes and he bit his lip hard. Death's specter had returned to haunt him, the old enemy had come knocking on his door once again. _Lily, oh God. This cannot be happening. I must find a way to cure this bloody disease. I must. For I couldn't bear to live in a world without you, in sunlight while you went to dwell in shadow forever. I am a Master Healer and somehow I shall save you, or else follow you to the realm where shadows go._

He quickly scrubbed a hand across his eyes, reigning in his emotions with brutal resolve. He did not want to upset Harry by weeping like a lost child. Tears solved nothing. He had to concentrate on learning about this disease and then curing it. Just because Muggles had failed did not mean he would, he vowed.

"Daddy?" Harry looked up at him curiously. He could sense there was something wrong. "Are you still mad at me?"

"No, scamp. You've been punished and it's done and over with," Severus said softly, and then he hugged his son tightly. If, God forbid, he should lose Lily, Harry would be the last link to her that he had. The very best part of her, she had said once. He held the green-eyed toddler close and inhaled the sweet scent of fruit soap and struggled to lock away the dreadful terror that was gnawing his insides.

Now he had to decide when and how to tell Lily the awful news. It would be the hardest thing he had ever done. And he had no idea how to do it. For how do you tell the woman you love that she is perhaps critically ill and dying?


	25. Picnic

**Picnic**

Severus couldn't bring himself to discuss the test results with Lily when she arrived home that afternoon. She was very animated, telling him about a picnic that Alice and Frank Longbottom were throwing along with Sirius and Remus. "All of our friends will be there, and the kids too. It's this Sunday at two o'clock. I'm going to bake some of Mum's honey rolls for it and you can make that homemade lemonade, right, Sev? I remember how you used to make it whenever we stayed over at Grimmauld Place when we were kids."

"Of course. That was my mother's recipe, you know. I used to make it because all Casseopia Black ever had to drink was water, or at least that's all she ever served us." Severus recalled. Casseopia Walburga Black, Sirius's mother, had been a rigid, class conscious pureblood, and she had always turned up her nose at Severus and Lily.

"I remember, Sev. Your lemonade was the best thing. We used to make it in that old pewter cauldron, and it tasted so good!" Lily was beaming enthusiastically. Severus thought he had never seen her look more alive.

There were roses in her cheeks and her brilliant red hair flickered and danced in the light of the everspelled Lumos globes situated throughout the house, like silk set afire. On impulse, he stepped towards her and buried his hands in her hair, sweeping the hairpins she had used to bind it back onto the floor in a metallic cascade. He ran his hands up and down the fiery tresses, sensuous and gentle, and she laughed up at him, her emerald eyes glowing. "Sev, what on earth?"

"Hush. Just let me hold you," he murmured, his dark eyes blazing with a strange bittersweet passion. _Who knows how long we will have? God, oh God, but you cannot leave me, Lily. How shall I live without the other half of my heart?_ He cradled her against him, placing featherlight kisses on her head, her neck, and letting his hands caress her while he listened to her heartbeat. No one, looking at her now, would ever think that she harbored a silent killer within her, unseen yet poised to strike, and rip the youth and life that should have been hers away.

He tightened his hold, and Lily gasped. "Sev, you're half-smothering me, love."

"Sorry," his hold gentled, and he kissed her in apology. _My sweet beautiful flower. I cannot bear to see you wither and fade. Somehow, someway, I shall save you, by my Healer's Oath I swear it._ He felt his chest contract and he struggled to maintain his calm façade, his mask that all was as it should be. He would not tell her yet. Not yet. He would wait until after the picnic, give her one last weekend of a normal life before he shattered everything. _I ought to be wearing black robes, like the crow in the Greek myth, the messenger of ill omen._

"I didn't realize you missed me so much. I've only been away for a day, Severus."

"I always miss you, little flower," he whispered tenderly. "Especially when I've spent the day dealing with our little hellion, who has decided to test me beyond belief today."

Lily arched an eyebrow. "What did he do, Sev? Throw another tantrum in the middle of Trimelda's Toys again?"

"Something like that. He's sleeping right now." He quickly told his wife about Harry's defiant streak of mischief. "But the straw that broke my back was when he threw the Hogwarts Express and hit me in the head."

"He hit you in the head with that train? Merlin, Sev! Are you all right?"

"Fine. It hurt, but I'll live. No concussion. But I lost it then, Lil, and I . . .well . . ." Severus looked uncomfortable and his eyes slid from hers and he half-mumbled, "I took him over my knee and I spanked him."

"Well, I can't say I'm surprised. I'd have done the same, Sev."

"I know, but I still felt like an ogre. It was four swats only, but . . .I felt like I'd become my father for a little bit. I hated doing that to him, no matter how much he deserved it."

She cupped his chin in her hand and pulled his head around so he was looking into her eyes once more. "Oh, Sev! You could never be your father, you are your own person, a far better man. I think you feel the way I did when I smacked him that time for drawing on the wall with my best peacock quill. But if you're certain he deserved it, you shouldn't feel guilty."

"I know. I guess it's true, that old saying parents always tell their children, _It hurts me more than it hurts you_. I still can't believe I actually did it. But I think he forgave me. At least, I hope so."

"I'm sure he did, Sev. Harry's not one to be resentful, and he loves you. I wouldn't worry about it. Perhaps you need to work on forgiving yourself, hmm . . . Master Healer Snape?"

"Perhaps," he said. "I don't want to make it a habit though. My dad walloped me for everything and nothing and I never want Harry to go through that. I think I'll reserve spanking for the times when he's done something truly awful."

"Good idea. That's what my parents did." She hugged him. "Sev, you're a good father. Don't ever think otherwise. All parents hate punishing their kids, I think. At least they do if they're good ones."

"You and Harry are my life," he told her.

"And it's the same for me," Lily said, smiling. "Now, let me go, please, Sev."

"Why?"

"Because I need to get out of my Auror uniform and start dinner."

"I can make dinner tonight."

"No, I want to cook tonight. Got a new recipe for a walnut garlic pasta I want to try."

"All right, my lady." He released her, stepping back with a pretend bow. "Who am I to argue with a master chef?"

"I'm far from that, but I'm pretty good," Lily said, then went into her room to change.

Severus gazed after her forlornly, though he hid it well, praying he could find a cure for her, for she did not deserve to be cut down in the prime of her life. Somehow, some way . . .he was not the youngest and most decorated Master Healer of his generation for nothing. _I'll have to speak with Matthew, ask him what he knows about lupus and how to treat it and see if he knows anything. Then if I have a plan of treatment, I can offer it to her as a way to soften the blow. Give her something to hope for. And I will do my damned best to make sure her hope is not in vain._

He closed his eyes, fighting back tears of anger and frustration. It didn't seem fair. Just when everything was going beautifully, something like this happened. It seemed it was the story of his life. Happiness was short-lived and followed swiftly by tragedy and sorrow. And that was why he had learned to never take anything good for granted and to always prepare for things to take a turn for the worst. Except he had never reckoned on Lily becoming ill this way. He wondered bitterly why it had not happened to him instead.

* * * * * *

The day of the picnic dawned bright and sunny, a perfect afternoon to go to Hyde Park, in the wizarding section, where Muggles could not enter because of the Notice Me Not wards set up around the perimeter. Alice had spread out several gaily blue and white and red and white checkered cloths upon the ground, fixing them in place with a Weight charm, making the cloths too heavy to be moved or be blown away by the wind.

She had cooked a huge batch of crispy coated "picnic chicken" from an old family recipe of her mother-in-law Augusta's. It was similar to Southern fried chicken, except it was baked, not fried. Everyone was required to make some sort of dish for the picnic, or bring something. Lily and Severus brought lemonade and honey bars. Arthur and Molly brought a cucumber salad, a plate of sweet sausage, and dozens of small sugary cookies. Matthew brought honey ham, sliced thin for sandwiches, and bread and butter pickles. Sirius, who couldn't cook to save his life, brought several watermelons. Remus, whose house elf Misty was an excellent cook, brought her famous Meltaway Magic bars, a dessert bar that was a combination of melted chocolate, coconut, cookie crust, peanuts, caramel, and another secret ingredient that melted in your mouth. They were another favorite from the friends' shared childhood.

"Remember the time James ate an entire pan of those?" Sirius asked, upon seeing them.

"Yes, and then he ended up throwing up in Belinda's begonias," Severus reminded, smiling reminiscently at his former friend's folly. James had always been a creature of impulse as a child, he acted first and thought after, a trait Sev feared Harry had inherited. "That was almost as bad as the time with Lily's apple tree. The two of you were gluttons for punishment, Siri."

Sirius gave a so-what gesture. "Hey, we were two dumb kids, what did we know about anything? That's what we had you and Lily for, to keep us from killing ourselves through ignorance."

"Except you never really listened to us until it was too late, Padfoot," chuckled Lily.

"What can I say? James and I always seemed to learn things the hard way most times," said Sirius.

"Did you two have a reputation at school for being troublemakers too?" Matthew wanted to know.

Severus and Lily and Alice burst out laughing. "Did they ever! Those two and that little sly rat Pettigrew, who ended up being wanted for attempted murder, and disappeared, were known as the Marauders," Alice told the other Healer.

"Ahem! What about me?" Remus said. "I was a Marauder too."

"A token one, Moony." Severus disagreed. "You never served half the detentions they did, or were insolent and disrespectful to the teachers."

"True. But I played my share of pranks on you, Sev." The werewolf grinned. "Remember the night in the forest?"

"Don't remind me. That was when you told me you'd found a rare blue artemesia root in the hidden clearing and when I went to look for it, you cast a spell that had me walking in circles half the night and vanished my robe so I nearly froze to death."

"It was the middle of May. It wasn't that cold!" Remus objected.

"At night, in the heart of the bloody Forbidden Forest it was, Moony." Argued the Master Healer.

"And you paid me back for that one by charming all the secret passages shut in the castle and letting me sleep outside one night on the lawn," Remus countered.

"Aww, poor baby!" Lily smirked. "We all know you simply transformed into your wolf Animagus form, Moony, and slept like a baby the whole night."

"Err . . .I did, eventually. Once I'd spent three hours trying every charm I knew to unlock the bloody doors."

"Serves you right, Lupin," Severus said, waving a finger at him.

The other adults just laughed at Remus's rueful expression, and then began to eat some more of the delicious food.

While the adults traded tales of their misspent youth and quips and discussed the state of the Ministry, the kids ran around playing "I Spy" and "Wizard Tag", where the one tagged had to name a famous witch or wizard and what they did in five seconds or else be frozen until another player freed them by touching them and relating a fact about the famous person they'd missed. The twins and Percy and Charley were extremely good at that game.

Ron, Neville, Ginny, and Harry eventually started their own game of Let's Pretend, and this time they were playing Jungle Book, with Neville as Mowgli, Ron as Shere Khan, Ginny was Raksha, Mowgli's wolf mother, and Harry was Bagheera and also Kaa the Rock Python.

Charley had tied a rope to the limb of a big oak tree that wasn't too far off the ground and cast a Cushioning charm beneath it, so if Neville fell off he wouldn't be hurt. Neville got to climb up the rope and swing from it when Shere Khan came hunting him and do bird calls and shout insults like "stinky dumb old lame tiger" and "Here, kitty kitty! Wanna play with fire?"

Harry got to hang upside down on the tree branch and threaten to beat up Ron and scold Mowgli and give him advice as Bagheera, or encourage him to mischief as Kaa.

Ginny liked being able to pretend to beat up her older brother and not worry about getting in trouble, and also being allowed to hug Neville as his "mum"-she was kind of sweet on him. Ron liked playing the wicked lame tiger who wanted to kill the Man Cub and rule the jungle.

The older kids eventually decided to play a quick game of Quidditch, along with Sirius, Frank, and Alice, who used to be a Chaser in her school days.

Lily decided to take a nap, she was feeling strangely tired, and it was then that Severus drew Matthew and Remus aside and told them his awful secret.

"Sev, are you positive?" Matthew asked, going pale. "I know you trained for a bit in Muggle procedures, but is there any chance you're interpreting the results wrong?"

"I wish like hell I was, Matt. But I'm not. Here, see for yourself." He pulled out the lab sheet from his pocket and handed it to his partner.

Remus looked ill, like he did on the nights prior to the full moon, when his werewolf curse was active. "Dear sweet Merlin, Sev! Is there anything you can do, some kind of . . .of potion or a spell?"

"I can treat some of the symptoms of the disease, but the disease itself . . .auto-immune deficiency diseases are very difficult for Healers to treat, since anything we concoct will only last so long, after that it breaks down, and is useless. But I will never stop trying to find a cure for this, Remus. It may be deadly to Muggles, but surely I can come up with a potion or a charm to arrest it." Severus said, but desperation was in his eyes.

"If anyone can, you can, Sev. You extended the life of the Wolsbane Potion for me," Remus said. He reached out and patted his friend on the shoulder. "And if you ever need anything, Sev, you know you have only to ask me. Or Sirius. So please, let go of that Snape pride and don't hesitate to give me a call. Okay?"

"Thanks, Moony. I . . .can't even think straight, since I got those results."

"Does Lily know yet?"

Sev shook his head. "No. I just couldn't bring myself to tell her yet. She was so happy . . .she wanted to have another baby, Remus, but women with lupus . . .it's not safe for them to get pregnant, it could make the disease more pronounced, put too much stress on her body . . .I don't know how to break it to her . . .that she might be . . .dying . . .damn it all!" He whirled away abruptly, head lowered to hide the treacherous tears now trickling down his cheeks.

There was a long awkward silence, as both Remus and Matt looked at each other with mixed reactions of dread and sympathy and a quiet determination.

Matthew gave his partner a minute or two to regain his composure, then said softly, "Severus, buddy, you know I'll do my damndest to research this same as you. I've got a few connections in Muggle medicine I can contact, I'll ask them what the prognosis is for lupus and the treatment commonly used and between the two of us maybe we can come up with something. This is the early stage, we have time to experiment. Lupus patients can live for years, you know."

"I know, Matt. And I appreciate your help," Severus said, wiping his eyes with his sleeve. But secretly he feared that once the disease was more pronounced, Lily's magic might attempt to try and combat it, and while it might slow the advance of the disease for a time, it would also exhaust her magical core very quickly, and if she were too sick to replenish it . . .she could die from a drained magical core as well as from the lupus.

"Sev, would you like me to do it? Tell Lily, I mean?" Matthew offered, knowing how hard it would be for his friend to deliver that news.

Severus did not answer for a long moment. Then at last he said, "No. It would be a hell of a lot easier coming from you, Matt, but . . .this is something I need to do myself. She's not only my wife, she's my patient. And I've told patients before that they had terminal illnesses. I just have to . . .be professionally objective."

Matthew gave Sev's shoulder a squeeze. "Easy to say, hard to do. If you change your mind . . .let me know. I'll get to work on this tomorrow."

"Does anyone else know, Sev? Like her parents?" asked Remus.

"Not yet. You're the first ones I've told," said the Healer heavily. "You have my permission to tell Siri and the Weasleys and the Longbottoms, Moony. But wait till I break it to her, all right? Except Sirius, you can tell him as soon as possible. After that, she'll probably want to tell Vi and Hal herself, and somehow we have to make poor Harry understand . . ."

Matthew shook his head sadly. "Poor little kid, it sucks having a parent who's sick like that. He's so young, I wonder how much he'll understand?"

"I don't know, but Harry's smarter than your average three-year-old, Matt. He's very intuitive and I wouldn't be surprised if he knows a lot more than we think he does." Severus said, with a note of pride in his voice. He just hoped that Harry would never know the anguish of losing his mother, the way Sev had. Eileen's death had severed any kind of relationship, or hope of one, he had with Tobias, and with her death had gone any chance at reconciliation, as far as Severus was concerned. After Eileen's funeral, Severus had, in effect, disowned his father, and had never regretted it. Hal Evans had been more of a father than his own anyhow.

The Master Healer sighed sadly. "Even so, there's another conversation I'm not looking forward to."

He looked up and saw that the Quidditch game was over, Charley having caught the Snitch for his team, and the rest of the players were landing and going back to the checkered blankets for sweets and some more lemonade. Severus squared his shoulders and slipped his mask back into place, concealing his sorrow behind a façade of camaraderie.

But before he could make his way back to the others, Harry ran up to him and tugged on his trouser leg. "What's the matter, scamp?"

"Gotta go potty, Daddy." Harry reported, wriggling. "Like now!"

"Okay, son. Come with me." Sev picked up the toddler and walked with him to the "necessary house", which was a temporary wooden shack set up for the picnic by Frank. Inside was a ceramic pot with a seat and a spell upon it to vanish the contents, plus a spout that ran soapy water to wash your hands after and a soft cloth to dry them.

Harry almost didn't make it, he had waited longer than he should have because he didn't want to stop playing, and Sev quickly vanished his son's pants and underwear, sensing Harry's distress, once they were inside the little shack.

"Next time, don't wait so long, son," he told the little boy afterwards, ruffling his hair and summoning back Harry's clothes and fixing them. "You've done very well, no accidents for a month."

Harry grinned at him. "That's 'cause I'm a big boy now, Daddy. Not a baby that needs a nappy."

"Yes, you are. Wash your hands now and then you can go play."

Harry did, then tore out of the necessary house shrieking, "Okay, Ron, I'm all done! Now we can have the big fight. It's Shere Khan versus Bagheera. Rrrowwrr!"

Severus watched the little boy race back to where Ron and Neville were gathered and cursed the fates that had put him in this position, to be the bearer of ill fortune to those he loved best of all.

Then he made his way back over to where Lily was napping and lay down next to her, one hand resting gently on her shoulder, gazing at her with a mixture of love, affection and barely suppressed anguish. _Gather ye rosebuds while ye may . . . carpe diem, Sev. Cherish this day and all the others to follow, just in case. _He bent and placed a kiss on his sleeping wife's brow. _I love you, Lily flower. If only love were enough to cure you._


	26. Seeking A Miracle

**Warning: You WILL need Kleenex for this one!!**

Seeking A Miracle

It was five days after the picnic and still Severus had delayed speaking to his wife. He had spent much of his time in between patients reading up on the symptoms and treatment of lupus, discovering that the disease could also attack many major organs, like the liver, spleen, kidneys, heart, and brain, as well as the immune system. Lupus patients were prone to photosensitivity and some developed skin rashes and lesions or arthritis as well as being fatigued and in chronic pain. The early warning signs of the disease often had to do with fatigue and flu-like symptoms, one reason why it was sometimes difficult to diagnose.

But Severus knew the blood test was accurate, and now he had to deal with the results and treat Lily as best he could. He considered his options. There were potions he could brew to combat fatigue, pain, nausea, Blood Replenishers to combat the loss of red blood cells, and Nutrient potions to give Lily the vitamins and minerals she needed to stay relatively healthy. Severus knew spells to fix damaged heart muscles and liver and spleen deterioration. He could repair malfunctioning kidneys as well, but all those spells would work only a finite number of times. Two or three at the most, because each repair, though done with magic, put stress on the organ in question.

There were no potions or charms to restore a damaged immune system, and Severus was currently working on trying to invent one, if it were at all possible. He was using several key elements of the Wolfsbane Potion, since that particular potion halted a curse that was similar to a disease. Even so, it was difficult, and he spent nearly all of his free time in his lab when not at work, researching and experimenting.

He knew Lily was wondering what project he was working on, but having seen him in obsessive mode before, did not want to ask. He was also trying to invent an elixir that could restore magical energy, so Lily didn't burn herself out trying to fight the disease magically, which was what occurred nine times out of ten in similar cases. So far, however, he wasn't having much success. But he refused to abandon all hope.

Matthew's contact in the world of Muggle medicine had given him the names of some drugs to try that might help slow the advancement of the disease, but the prognosis was eventual death-organ failure, seizures, the patient could live for five to maybe ten years if the lupus were kept controlled, or could die within a year if the lupus flared rampant and induced a stroke or heart or renal failure. The only thing the Muggle Dr. Reinhart could say was to try and keep the patient comfortable and pray the disease didn't progress quickly, treat symptoms as they arose, and hope for the best.

Finally, on the evening of the fifth day, Lily knocked on the door to Severus's private lab at home and said, "Sev, you've been in there all day, hon. Don't you want to take a break and see your son and me before you collapse from exhaustion?"

Severus opened the door and beckoned her inside, wiping his hands on a damp cloth. He was stiff and sore from bending over a cauldron for over six hours and his eyes burned from all the meticulous documentation he'd been doing as he brewed each series of test samples. His throat was dry as dust and his stomach in knots, but he managed to give her a smile anyway.

"Sorry, I just forgot about the time. You know how I get when I'm brewing sometimes."

Lily nodded, looking around the lab with interest. "Ah, the mystery elixir. Care to tell me what it is? Are you trying to invent something to be nominated Master Healer of the Year again?"

"No, I wish I was." He drew her gently over to a comfortable chair that he kept in his lab to sit in while he waited for potions to steep, since some drafts couldn't be left unattended. "Sit down, Lil."

She obeyed, looking up at him with a puzzled expression. "Sev, what's going on? There's something bothering you, I can tell. What is it? You can tell me."

Severus coughed, drank some water he had in a goblet on his lab table, cleared his throat, then managed to say in a somewhat professional manner, "Remember that day you came in to get checked out because you wondered why you couldn't conceive?"

"Yes, and you said there was no reason why I shouldn't be able to."

"Remember when I said I wanted to do additional tests-Muggle tests-on your blood?"

"Yes. Why? Did you get the results?"

Severus nodded. "They weren't very promising, I'm afraid."

Lily went pale and put a hand to her heart. "Don't tell me, dear God, I have cancer. Leukemia, right?"

"No. You have systemic lupus, an auto-immune deficiency disease." Severus replied.

"Can you cure it, Sev?"

"Right now, no. But I'm trying, Lily. I can treat symptoms as they occur."

"What symptoms?"

He told her, trying to break it to her as gently as possible. It took forever to get the words out, they stuck in his throat like a lodged chicken bone, and he needed to use all his professional demeanor and hard-won emotional control to speak the words, "Inevitably fatal."

Lily stared at him, uncomprehending. "What . . .what are you saying? That I'm going to die? That there is no cure . . .no hope at all, Severus?"

"No . . .never say that. I'm working on one, I promise you, Lily! I can halt some of the symptoms and slow the disease, put you on a regimen of potions for now that can help you feel less tired and rundown."

Lily's hands clenched into white-knuckled fists. She heard what he did not, could not, bring himself to say. That her days on earth were numbered, that unless he came up with a miracle, she would die. "How long?"

"I . . .don't know."

"You don't _know_?" she half-wailed, her composure giving way all at once. "You're a bloody Master Healer and you can't tell me that? Why the hell not?"

He knelt in front of her, taking her hands in his own. "Lily, please . . .it depends on the person and how fast the lupus progresses. There are so many factors . . .but I can tell you that the best case scenario, without magical intervention to restore your immune system or arrest the course of the lupus, ten years. The worst . . . maybe a year or more."

She remained silent for a moment. A year or ten years to live. Was that all the time she had left? It seemed impossible. Only yesterday she had joked around with Alice about grandchildren. Now she didn't even know if she would see Harry attend Hogwarts. She looked up at Severus and whispered, "That's why . . .I couldn't conceive, isn't it?"

"Yes. Women with lupus have difficulty ovulating and carrying a fetus full-term."

She felt his words slam into her like a dagger to the heart. She swallowed hard. "Then I can never . . .have your baby, Sev. I wanted so much . . .to give you a child of your own . . .a little girl . . ."

"I have Harry, Lil. He's enough for me." Severus began, trying to make her feel better.

"It's not the same . . .she would have been yours . . .I'm so sorry, Severus!"

She crumpled then, tears running down her cheeks, and he drew her to him and held her, silent sobs shaking her frame. "It doesn't matter, Lily. I don't need a child of my blood. All I want is you. That's all I'll ever need."

She was shaking her head. "Not enough . . .I wanted . . .oh God, Sev . . .I'm scared . . ."

She gripped his shoulders so tightly it hurt, and he winced, but he said nothing. "I know, love . . .Hold me, I'm here for you . . .always . . .Together we can beat this . . .I won't give up . . .Just stay with me, Lily. . . " He rocked her back and forth, giving her what poor comfort he could, while his own tears fell upon her hair, unnoticed by either of them.

He held her for a long time, absorbing what pain and fear he could from her through the bond they shared as a married couple. He stroked her hair and she curled up in his lap like a little child, reminding him of Harry after a nightmare. Only this was one nightmare that would not be banished by awakening ever, and all he could do was be there for her, and send her reassurance that he loved her and would never leave her.

She clung to him, he was the rock amidst the raging sea and the only thing keeping her afloat, the steady beat of his heart anchored her to reality and the feel of his arms about her, so protective and gentle, kept her from falling to pieces. She knew that as long as he were there, she was safe. He would keep the dark at bay. Severus would find a cure . . .she trusted him. If there were any hope at all, he would find it. _Save me, Severus. You're the only one who can._

_I know._ He replied silently. He buried his face in her hair, breathing in the scent of limes and kiwi, ignoring the tears that fell like a torrent into the bright strands. _Crying solves nothing, boy,_ the specter of Tobias mocked him from a corner of his mind. He snarled, lashing out, and the specter vanished. _Maybe not, but I feel a hell of a lot better now than before, even if . . ._He sniffed hard, trying to compose himself, but it was useless. So he stopped trying, and allowed himself the release of tears, and together they wept for the death of all their dreams and the fear of what the future might bring.

Lily had no idea how long she remained there, sobbing hopelessly into Severus's shirt, but eventually there were no more tears and she just lay there against him, listening to his heartbeat, feeling his soft breath along her ear, drained and numb. She felt weak and exhausted, much the same way as she had when she received the news that James had been killed.

Then, from some wellspring of inner strength she had never tapped before, she felt a tendril of courage lift its head and whisper, _Will you give in to this . . .this faceless thing so easily as all that, Lily Ann Snape? You're a fighter, not a quitter. You've got the best Master Healer in all of Britain, not to mention the best damn husband, on your side. So fight!_ With this newfound resolve and determination flowing through her, she lifted her head and said quietly, "I will fight this damn disease to my last breath, Sev, before I travel the starry path to the realm where shadows go. My wizard's oath upon it." She reached up a hand, and traced the track of a tear down his cheek. "Please don't cry, Sev."

"I'm not," he said automatically.

"Evidence says otherwise, Master Healer," she teased lightly, showing him her finger, wet with the tears he refused to acknowledge. He sighed ruefully. "I can bear anything but that, you know. I love you so much, Sev. I want my life back, dammit!"

"I'll get it back," he swore fervently, then his mouth captured hers, and in the flicker of an instant all their sorrow turned to passion, and they kissed, fierce and wild, denying the specter hovering in the corner. _Go away, I defeated you once, and I shall do it again._ Severus vowed, and for the second time that day he allowed his passion to rule him, and kissed his wife as if there were no tomorrow.

When at last they broke apart, Lily said, breathless, "You are incredible, Sev!"

He shook his head. "No, that's you, little flower."

He rose to his feet, drawing her up with him, and she spotted his still simmering cauldron and gave a little gasp.

"Merlin, I hope I didn't make you ruin your potion."

"It's all right. It's experimental, I can start over, and will, probably."

Lily nodded, then recalled something else. "Sev, my mother invited us for dinner tonight. Do you feel like going?"

"I ought to be asking you that," he reminded gently. "I'll go, so long as you feel up to it."

"I do. And after . . .we can tell them about the test results."

"Yes. And then we can tell the rest of our friends as well."

"What about Harry? How can we make him understand?"

"Let's cross that bridge when we come to it, Lil. One thing at a time, love." He glanced over at the potion and then at the timer he'd set earlier. "Almost done."

"Go tend your cauldron, Potions Master," she ordered, stepping back and giving him a playful swat on the bottom. "Meantime, I'll go and tend our son, who ought to be waking up from his nap right around now."

"Are you sure you're all right?"

"Yes. Now go watch your elixir, before it's ruined, Mr. Snape."

"Yes, ma'am, Professor," he replied, then ducked her second swat, smirking, and returned to his cauldron, examining the contents and stirring it with a long wooden stirrer.

Lily departed, going to wake Harry and get him changed, a hollow ache in the pit of her stomach at the thought of telling this unwelcome and unexpected news to her parents. _I had hoped to be telling them I was expecting their newest grandchild, and instead I get to tell them I'm infected with a deadly disease. It never rains but it pours._

**Angsty enough for you?**

Thanks for everyone who reviewed this, I know it's difficult to read because it's so sad. Here's some Kleenex and chocolate for those of you who forgot.


	27. Unwelcome News

**Unwelcome News**

After an excellent dinner of honey-glazed chicken and mashed potatoes, with a whipped cream chocolate trifle for dessert, Lily told her parents that she needed to discuss something with them while Severus helped Harry change into pajamas and settled him in front of the TV watching _Lassie Come Home_. Hal frowned and Vi looked nervous, for they could tell from Lily's tone of voice that something was wrong.

"What's happened, Lil?" Hal asked cautiously. "You and Sev have a row? Is that why he's been so quiet?"

"No, Dad," Lily answered softly. _If only that were all I had to worry about. Merlin, but this is so hard! Well, no sense in dragging it out, best to just say it straight._ "Sev and I don't really fight all that much, and when we do, we make up pretty quickly."

"Give yourself a couple of years, my girl," her father said with a wink. His wife elbowed him in the ribs and he yelped. "Hey, I was only kidding, Vi!"

Vi gave him a glare, then looked questioningly at her daughter. "You look kind of peaked, Lily. Have you been getting enough sleep, dear?"

Lily cleared her throat. "Actually, Mum, sleep is part of my problem. I was feeling so rundown lately that I decided to let Severus check me out. He ran some tests and . . .I tested positive for lupus."

Hal blinked, then asked, "What is that? I've never heard of it."

Vi looked ready to pass out. "Oh, dear God in heaven. My sister Emily had it. You and Petunia never knew her, Lily. She . . .passed away before you were born. Are you positive that's what you have?"

Lily nodded firmly. "Sev tested me for multiple things before he sent a blood sample off to be tested for anemia and other blood diseases. Based on the results of all the tests, I have systemic lupus."

"You still haven't told me what it is." Hal said. "How bad is it?"

"Dad, it's an auto-immune deficiency disease. That means that the antibodies in my blood aren't working properly, and they're attacking not just harmful bacteria, but normal healthy cells as well, and killing them. My immune system is compromised and that means so are my heart, liver, kidneys, and my nervous system."

Hal was horrified. "But . . .how did this happen? You look perfectly healthy!"

"I know. But I'm . . .not. I don't know what causes this, Sev says it could be genetic, but no one's certain."

"What do you do to cure it?" was Hal's next question. Vi was silent, shocked into speechlessness.

"There is no cure, Dad," Lily managed to say, keeping her voice utterly calm by sheer will.

"What do you mean, there's no cure? There has to be, Lil. I mean, it's not like cancer, is it? Or AIDS?"

"Hal, lupus is similar to AIDS, in a way," Severus said, returning to the kitchen just in time to catch Hal's last comment. "Like AIDS, lupus attacks the immune system, weakening it and making the person vulnerable to other infections and diseases." He seated himself at the table next to Lily, his face grave, and took her hand. "And like AIDS, there is no known cure, and eventually lupus will result in death."

Hal swallowed hard. "But Severus, you're a wizard. Surely you can . . .magic something up to cure her, can't you?"

Severus bit his lip and shook his head slowly. "I wish it were that easy, Hal. But magic has limits too. I am trying my best to come up with a spell that may reverse some of the damage and slow down the disease, right now however, all I can treat are the symptoms as they express themselves."

"But you're supposed to be this great Master Healer!" Hal half-shouted, glaring accusingly at his son-in-law. "Lily told me you've invented vaccines and won all kinds of awards for your potions and stuff. And you can't invent a potion to fix my daughter? What the bloody hell good is magic then? How can you call yourself a doctor if you can't even save your own wife?"

"Dad!" Lily gasped. Color flushed her cheeks and her green eyes flashed. "How dare you blame Sev for this? It's not his fault he can't cure it. He's not bloody God, you know! He may be a wizard, but even we have limits. You have no right to expect him to just wave his wand and . . .and fix everything. He's doing the best he can, if anyone can figure out a way to stop this bloody disease he can, and he doesn't need you making him feel guilty, damn it!"

"Lily Ann, don't you speak to me like that-"

"Well, _I'm_ certainly entitled to, Henry Evans," Vi interrupted frostily. "She's right, you big eejit. Of _course_ Sev is doing everything he can to help Lily, he loves her more than anything. If you want to blame someone, blame bad luck or fate, hell, blame my sister if you want, but don't blame Severus."

Hal flushed, and looked away, repenting of his hasty words. "God, Sev, I . . .didn't mean that the way it sounded . . .I just can't . . .it's such a hell of a shock . . ."

"You haven't said anything I didn't say to myself, Hal." The Healer responded quietly. "You don't know how many times I've asked myself those same questions and believe me, there is nothing I wouldn't do to save Lily. I would give up my magic, I would give up my life, I would make a deal with the devil himself if it would make Lily well again." He looked directly into the other man's eyes as he said that, so Hal would see the depth of love and devotion he bore for his wife. "But none of that is an option, and so I must work with what I have, which is my potions skills, intuition, and my determination to find a cure."

Hal nodded uncomfortably. "I was out of line, Sev, I never should have said that. It's just so hard . . .You never think that your kid will develop a life-threatening illness . . .that's not how it should be . . ."

Severus nodded in understanding. "I understand. I would be the same if it were Harry who was sick that way. But know that I will be there every step of the way, she won't fight this battle alone, Hal. I pledged that when I married her, and I will never forsake her. I will do everything in my power to save her, never doubt that." The young Master Healer's voice rang with determination and conviction so compulsive that both Evanses instinctively believed his words as truth. And truth it was.

"Sev, what can you do to treat her?" Vi asked.

"I can try several potions to alleviate the symptoms, Vi. You know that most lupus patients suffer fatigue and fevers and joint and muscle pain, nausea, and photosensitivity. Some also get skin rashes and at its most severe, lupus can attack the lungs, heart, kidneys and nervous system. But I can repair damage to all those systems, at least once. Hopefully, I can manage to develop something that will slow the lupus, keep it from expressing so severely. Which in turn will keep Lily's magic from coming to her defense."

"Her magic?" Vi repeated. "Why is that bad?"

"Because my magic will keep trying to defeat the disease no matter the cost, until I burn myself out," Lily explained softly, repeating what Severus had told her earlier. "And without my magic, I shall fade and . . .die."

"Oh," was all Vi said, plainly horrified at how vulnerable her child was to illness and death. "Please, if you ever need me, Lily, just call or come over. Or I can come over there if you want." She reached out and hugged her daughter. "You musn't give up hope. With Sev's magic and medical knowledge, I'm sure you can beat this. Emily wasn't diagnosed until the lupus was so advanced that it had affected her lungs and her brain and by then . . .she died of brain fever. But that doesn't mean it'll happen to you."

"I know. Thanks, Mum." Lily hugged her back, trying to put a brave face on it, despite the fact that she was scared to death. She knew that a positive outlook was paramount to recovery. Then she asked, "So, who's going to tell Tuney?"

"I will," Vi said immediately, knowing that the sisters hadn't spoken to each other since the argument at the family reunion over a year ago. They had exchanged Christmas cards, but not gifts, and Petunia had not bothered to come for the Evans New Year party, since she still refused to associate with Severus. "I know that Petunia can be difficult . . .and she can hold a grudge forever, but this . . .she's your sister, and she should know and let bygones be bygones."

Lily withdrew from her mother's embrace, smiling slightly. "It'd be ironic, that this would be the thing that would reconcile us."

"Stranger things have happened, blossom," Hal said, blinking hard.

"You haven't called me that since I was a little girl," said his daughter, smiling at the old pet name. "I was the blossom and Tuney was the thorn, since she was so prickly, and she always hated that, but she couldn't deny it fit her."

Hal chuckled sadly. "She always was stubborn as a mule, but she used to protect you when you were small, Lily. I would hope that she can let go of her stupid prejudices regarding wizards and remember you're family, her blood, and that's what counts." He turned to Vi and said sternly, "Violet, you make sure she understands that, and doesn't let that great oaf Dursley dictate any nonsense to her about freaks and whatnot, or else I'll go down to Surrey myself and knock that dumb walrus flat on his arse and remind him just who the head of this family is. It's time to end this feud."

"Don't get yourself so worked up, Hal." Vi soothed. "I'll speak to Tuney tomorrow. I'm sure once I tell her . . .she will remember that she loves her sister and act accordingly."

Hal snorted, clearly he wasn't sure about Petunia, but he would reserve judgment.

After that, no one really wanted dessert, and when Severus went to check on Harry, he found his son fast asleep on the couch. It had been a long day, fraught with emotion, and Severus was exhausted, as was Lily. They both bid good night to Hal and Vi and Apparated home with Harry.

Only then did the two elder Evanses allow the full impact of Lily's awful news to hit them. Hal seemed to age ten years, looking older than fifty, and he went into the den and sat down, shaken and in denial. "I still can't believe it," he kept saying over and over. "How could this happen, Vi? Lily was always healthy as a horse, she hardly ever got sick. And now she's . . ." He choked up then, burying his face in his hands.

Vi curled up next to him, hugging his large frame to her and sobbing, "Not my baby, Hal! It's not fair. First my little sister . . .and now my daughter!" She dissolved into noisy tears. "What did we ever do to deserve this?"

Hal held her, also weeping. "Nothing, Vi. It's just bad luck. If only I could take this damn disease instead."

Vi gave a sort of laugh, and said, "Hal, men hardly ever develop lupus. But I would gladly take it from her if I could. My poor baby!"

Hal patted her awkwardly and whispered, "There now, my lass, we mustn't lose hope. Severus might be able to pull a trick or two out of his wand, you know . . ."

But Vi, who had seen firsthand what the dreaded disease could do, continued to sob inconsolably, until Hal made her drink a shot of brandy and put her to bed. He himself stayed awake until the dawn, alternately praying to God to spare his youngest daughter and cursing Him in the next breath for allowing this to happen. Lily, of all people, did not deserve such a terrible fate. Now Petunia, may God forgive him, might have deserved it for being so selfish and cruel and allowing her jealousy to rule her, but not his youngest, who had always been his favorite . . .

* * * * * *

Vi did speak to Petunia the next day, stressing that she should bury the hatchet and come and see her sister as soon as possible, but it was two weeks before Petunia deigned to show herself at her parents' house. During that time, Lily had begun to experience the fatigue and fevers and pain associated with the onset of lupus flares. Some days she was so exhausted she couldn't get out of bed, and Severus had begun a regimen of potions to help her combat the terrible draining fatigue and listlessness.

Remus had offered the services of his house elf Misty, on those days when Lily was too weak to do much but sleep, the little elf came and looked after her and Harry and cleaned the house and made meals for the Snapes so Severus could devote his time to his research and his family when he came home.

Sirius also volunteered to babysit Harry so that Severus could concentrate on his brewing and treating Lily. Poor Harry was very confused, though his daddy and mummy had taken turns trying to explain that Lily was sick and would take a long time to feel better, which was why she was in bed so much, sleeping, instead of being up and about as usual. He had asked Severus repeatedly when Mummy was going to be better, and each time the question tore Sev's heart to pieces, for how could he tell a little boy that his mother might never get better? So he answered only, "Maybe tomorrow, scamp," and continued to exhaust himself searching for a way to arrest the lupus.

Harry accepted his father's answer, though he did wonder why his father couldn't fix his mother right up like he always did Harry. Just last week, Harry had developed a bit of a stomach virus and a rash on his bum, but Sev had made him feel better in a day or so with his potions and salve. Padfoot had explained that Lily had a different kind of sickness, one that kept returning, and so Sev had to keep making potions so she could get better. He also played with the little boy, running around the yard in his dog form, catching sticks and balls, letting Harry wrestle him in the grass, trying to take the kid's mind off what was happening with his mother.

Sirius too had been devastated to learn that Lily was so very ill, it was a terrible blow to consider losing another old friend so soon after James. Lily had always been like a sister to him and he hated the fact that he was helpless to do anything to prevent her decline. So he sought solace in helping Severus look after Harry, whom he loved like he would a nephew.

It was on one of those days that Petunia arrived at Spinner's End, and Vi called up to tell Lily that her sister wished to visit her. Lily happened to be having a good day that morning, and could sit up in bed, didn't feel depressed or dizzy, and actually was pleased that Petunia wanted to see her. She told her sister to come by the house around one o'clock, giving herself the entire morning to relax, spending time with her son eating breakfast in bed until Sirius arrived.

Soon after the Auror took Harry off to play, Severus came home, having only scheduled himself for half a day. Mainly this was so he could brew new batches of potions and be with his wife, but also to keep an eye on Petunia, whom he didn't trust as far as he could spit. He ordered Misty to watch over Lily carefully, and if it looked like Petunia was upsetting her, to tell the bigoted woman to leave or inform him immediately. Misty promptly agreed, and Severus went off to brew the daily round of potions.

Petunia arrived, was greeted stiffly by Severus, and shown into the bedroom. Lily was propped up in bed, wearing a lovely turquoise bed gown, looking better than she had in a week. "Hello, Tuney. Long time no see."

"Hello, Lil," Petunia replied courteously. She moved over to hug her slender sister and give her a peck on the cheek. "I must say, you look better than I expected, given the way Mum talked about you being at death's door."

"It's one of my good days," Lily said. She patted the bed beside her. "Have a seat."

Petunia sat down awkwardly and Severus, who had been observing from the doorway, decided that he could return to brewing his Fatigue Banishing Draft without worrying overmuch about Petunia minding her manners. "Call me or Misty if you need anything."

"Thank you, Sev, but I'm fine."

Petunia sniffed audibly. "Does your husband always lurk in doorways like a beggar in his own home?"

"No. Sev wasn't lurking, Tuney, he's just a little overprotective."

"And who is it that you need protecting from? Surely not your own sister!" She eyed Lily critically. "How are you feeling, Lily? You look a bit peaked. Has he been taking care of you properly?"

"Severus? Of course! I couldn't ask for better care, he treats me like a queen."

"And has he figured out a cure yet, or is he all just hot air? One would think, if he's such a great doctor, that he'd have you back to normal in no time, especially when he's using . . .magic," Petunia said, the word magic making her grimace.

"It doesn't work that way. Magic can cure a great deal, more than most modern medicine, but it's not the panacea for all ills." Lily explained patiently. "So far, Sev has managed to slow the flares with his potions and hopefully his research will enable him to put the lupus to sleep, so to speak."

"I'd certainly hope so! Considering it's his fault you got it in the first place."

"What? Tuney, Severus had nothing to do with me getting sick."

"But of course he did, little sister," purred Petunia, her brown eyes taking on a malicious glint. "He probably treated some poor beggar in that clinic he runs and brought the germs home to you or something. I warned you, Lily, no good would ever come of you hanging around gutter trash like Snape!"

"Severus is _not _trash, Petunia!" Lily snapped. "Simply because he came from a broken home doesn't make him beneath you. Now, I'll thank you to stop insulting my husband, and listen to me for once. Lupus isn't contagious, like a cold or the flu. You can't get it just by touching another person."

"Is that what _he_ told you then? And you believe him? He's a liar, Lil, always has been. It's second nature to one of his sort. Quack witch doctors, pretending they know it all. If I were you, Lily, I'd go see a real doctor and let him treat you, then you'd be better in no time."

Lily gritted her teeth. "Severus _is_ a real doctor. One of the best in his field. I would trust him with my life."

"Look where that got you!" Petunia cried. "If his so-called magic really worked, you'd be healed by now, but he's a sham and a fraud and I don't know how you can stand to be with him."

"Stop it, Petunia!" cried Lily, her voice rising. "If all you're going to do is badmouth my husband, you can leave. You've always held a grudge against him, ever since the time he told you the new dress you were wearing made you look like a sick cow."

"You're always defending him, Lil. Even when we were kids and he stole five pounds from Mum's purse, you believed him over me."

"Because he was telling the truth. Sev might have been poor, but he was never a thief, and we both know Vernon snitched that note to buy cigarettes."

"You're not remembering it right, Vernon would never need to steal a dime, he had plenty of money."

"Until he spent his allowance on gas and cigarettes. Then he turned his hand to a bit of burglary. Remember how you two went out behind the shed to try them out and Dad caught you and gave you the spanking of your life?"

Petunia flushed. "He never would've found out if Snape hadn't snitched on us."

"You're crazy. Dad saw the smoke in the air and thought the shed was on fire. You've no one to blame but yourself, Petunia."

"Nonsense! Snape's always been no-good, just like his old man. Blood will tell, you know. I warned you, not to trust him-"

Lily, disgusted with her sister's narrowminded views, yawned pointedly. "Sorry? Must have dozed off. I can't seem to concentrate. Maybe if you came back later?"

Petunia looked at her askance, then shook her head. "Poor Lily! Perhaps a bit of tea. . .?"

Lily waved her off. "No, please go."

Petunia made as if to protest, but then Misty appeared with a pop, frowning at her. "You needs to be going, miss. You is upsetting Mistress Lily."

Petunia threw the house elf a look of utter loathing. "Disgusting creature!" she muttered, rising hastily and walking out the door. "Goodbye, Lily. How you can bear to be in the same house with it . . .no wonder you're still sick . . ."

As Petunia scurried from the sickroom, Harry and Sirius entered the house at the same time Severus emerged from his lab, and saw his sister-in-law leaving. "Is Lily awake? I need to give her this draft-"

"This is all _your f_ault, Snape!" Petunia hissed, her eyes glittering.

"My fault? What are you talking about?"

"You and I both know you're responsible for her condition, you gave this disease to her, that's what comes from associating with your kind, nothing but trouble!"

"What are you implying, woman?" demanded the Master Healer sharply. "I wouldn't wish that hell on my worst enemy, let alone the woman I love. Furthermore, lupus is not passed on by partners like a sexually transmitted disease. I would suggest you get your facts straight before you open your mouth, Mrs. Dursley."

"You _would _say that, to cover up the fact that you are nothing but a country oaf who couldn't cure a cold, much less a real disease," Petunia began spitefully.

Sirius opened his mouth, ready to chew strips out of Petunia's hide, but another little observer beat him to it.

"Don't you talk that way 'bout my Daddy, Aunt Hyena-face!" Harry shouted. "He's the bestest Healer ever!"

Petunia whirled on the toddler, furious. "Why, you insolent little whelp! Haven't you learned any manners yet?" She advanced upon Harry.

Suddenly, Sirius blocked her way, standing between her and the child, his normally merry brown eyes hard. "Back off, bitch!" he growled. "You lay a hand on that kid, and I swear, lady or no, I'll toss your sorry arse right into the street!"

"How _dare_ you address me like that?" demanded Petunia haughtily, taking a hasty step back. "You're one of _them_, aren't you?"

"A wizard? Yeah. Don't you remember me, Petunia? Sirius Black? You haven't changed a bit since we were kids. Still the same hoity-toity nasty piece of work." Sirius sneered. "Never could figure how Vi and Hal could throw a misfit like you, 'specially when Lily was just the opposite. Guess there's one runt in every litter, though."

Petunia gasped. "You filthy cretin, comparing me to a-a _dog_!"

"Lady, that'd be an insult. To the dog." Sirius drawled. "And I like dogs. Now why don't you just take your high-toned fancy-arsed self right back where you came from?"

"You-you can't ordered me around!" sputtered the outraged woman. "Who do you think you are?"

"My best friend." Severus interjected, he had enjoyed watching Sirius take the insufferable Petunia down a peg.

"Figures. Gutter trash born and bred, like you, Snape!"

Sirius burst out laughing. "Gutter trash? Me? Girl, my ancestors go back to the time when this island was first settled by the Celtic chieftains. I'm practically royalty. Not that I give a damn, mind. Now get out, you've overstayed your welcome. You've got some nerve, coming here and accusing Sev that way, you heartless hag. Now get out!"

"I will not!" Petunia screeched. "This is my sister's house and you can't tell me when to leave, Sirius Black!"

"Then I will," Severus put in coldly. "Go home, Petunia."

"Shut up, Snape. I'll leave when I'm damn good and ready and not before!"

"Wanna make a bet?" snarled Sirius.

Then he blurred into a big black dog and bared his teeth and barked threateningly at the horse-faced woman.

Petunia screamed and backed away so fast she tripped over her own feet and landed hard on her backside.

"Going somewhere, Petunia?" demanded Severus of his unwanted guest.

"Call it OFF, Snape! It's rabid!" Petunia scrambled to her feet, her dignity destroyed beyond all repair. "Stay away, you freak of nature!"

Padfoot growled menacingly and crouched.

Petunia turned and fled, Sirius nipping playfully at her buttocks, sending her into hysterics. She couldn't get out of the door fast enough.

"Yay, Padfoot!" cheered Harry, he had no love for his mean aunt. "Bite the bitch's arse!"

"HARRY JAMES SEVERUS!" cried his father. "Watch your mouth, little boy!" You want me to summon a bar of soap?" Severus threatened, though he was biting the inside of his lip to keep from laughing. Sirius was practically rolling on the floor in silent mirth.

"Oops!" Harry covered his mouth with his hand. "Sorry, Daddy. I forgot."

"Don't do it again."

"Yes, sir." Harry said, contrite. Then he added, "But it's true. I don't like her, Daddy. She's mean and nasty and ought to be spanked."

"Right you are, Harry. Petunia's always needed her backside tanned," Sev agreed, laughing.

Sirius transformed back and snickered uncontrollably. "Merlin's holy eyeball, but the kid is too smart for his own good. You sure he's only three, Sev?"

"I'm three n' a _half_, Uncle Siri."

"Oh. Almost a grown-up, you little rascal." Sirius grinned. He picked up Harry and set him upon his shoulder. 'Let's go tell your mother the good news."

Harry clapped his hands and began to sing, "Ding dong the wicked witch is dead!" as Sirius carried him down the hallway to Lily's room.

Behind them, Severus leaned against the doorframe, laughing so hard he almost couldn't breathe, and Lily's laughter echoed from the room as well in a sweet counterpoint.

**Well, that was partly sad and partly funny, right?**

Thanks to all my reviewers. Hope you all liked this one


	28. Downward Spiral

**Downward Spiral**

**A/N: Italics in this chapter are journal entries, mostly. Please be aware this is a KLEENEX ALERT! KLEENEX ALERT! Others who have read this story on another website have told me they ignored it at their own risk, so . . .you have been warned!!**

Three months passed and though Severus searched frantically for a way to halt the disease, Lily grew gradually worse as time went by. Some days she was fine, nearly her old self, able to play with her son and go shopping with her mother and Alice, or cook and go for walks with Severus. But on her bad days she was tired and had almost no energy, and her fingers and toes ached and throbbed like seven hells and her head spun.

Severus had brewed several types of potions, which he administered to her as needed, or on a daily basis. One of those was a Class Five Pain Reliever, for sometimes she got cramps in her back and legs so bad she almost passed out, and the only thing that helped was that potion and Severus's massages. He soon became an expert in that area, often giving Lily a massage before bed and in the morning as well, to keep her muscles from stiffening up too badly.

On her really bad days she lay in bed, too exhausted to move, alternately sleeping and wracked with fever, chills, nausea, and grinding pain everywhere. Those flares sometimes occurred when she stayed up too late, or had tried to do too much the day before, or grew stressed over the fact that she could no longer be as independent and was slowly dying, by inches.

Severus cared for her then, with all of the compassion and tenderness of the most devoted lover, sometimes exchanging call with Matthew or rearranging his office hours. But he could see the inevitability in her eyes at times, when he helped her drink the potions and fed her broth and soft bread with butter. His Healer instincts warned him that the disease was slowly overtaking her, affecting her organs little by little, and not all of his magic would be enough to repair the damage eventually.

But he was stubborn and so was she, they were warrior-born, for all that they had never slain a dark wizard, and neither would surrender without a fight. Severus fought with his intellect and his knowledge, working on ever more advanced potions and spells to build up what immunity Lily had left, and to stave off the infections that were so common to ones who were stricken with such a disease. He spent hours and hours researching, in libraries in St. Mungos and other wizarding hospitals, in Muggle ones as well, using everything he could to prolong his beloved's life.

There were times that Lily feared for him more than she did herself. Feared that he was pushing himself too hard, that he would crack under the pressure. She begged him not to work so hard, to take a night off, but he refused.

"I _will_ beat this, Lily," he said to her one night, in bed, as he held her oh so gently against him. "Death will not claim you. I promise!"

"Severus, please! You're obsessing over this, love. It's not . . .it's not healthy."

He stared at her, aghast. "What would you have me do, Lily? Accept it? Accept the fact that you're . . ."

"Dying?" she finished. "You and I know that is the eventual outcome, Sev."

"No!" he shouted. "That's a _possible_ outcome, not the only one. I refuse for it to be the only one. God Almighty, Lily, you cannot ask me to give up . . .not now . . .I'm so close . . .if only I could find the key . . .!"

"The key to what, Sev? Immortality? You know as well as I that there is no such thing. Voldemort taught us well the folly of trying to become immortal. We are all mortal and someday we shall all die."

"I _know_ that, damn it!" he cried, frustration making his voice sharp and hard. "But it's not your time, Lily! Not yet!"

"Are you sure, Sev? Master Healer though you are, you are not God."

"This once, Lily Ann Snape, I shall prove Death wrong." He declared fiercely. Then he crushed her to him, murmuring, "I love you, Lil, I love you too damn much to let you go!"

And she could say nothing, only hold him, for her heart agreed with him, and she died a little each time when she thought about never being able to be with him ever again. She was not ready to go gently into the night, and slip down the starry road to the place where shadows go, the bright heaven where all was goodness and light. Her soul was bound still to earth, and her heart to the man beside her, who had loved her faithfully all of his life, and who had asked only that she love him in return. And she had, with a depth of passion and devotion she had never known she possessed.

Even so, she was afraid.

In order to combat the fear, the ever present fear that Death hovered over her shoulder, watching and waiting, she took to writing in a small green leather-bound journal. She wrote of her days fighting lupus, about the past, about her hopes and dreams for a future she might never see. But most of all she wrote for her son, who might never recall her except by reading this journal, and for her husband, so that he might gain a measure of peace by reading it when she was gone.

_Lily's Journal_

_November 15, 1983_

_Another bad day, it seems like there has been little for me to do save rest in this bed. I am so weary, but I have learned to take each day as it comes, and to fight the constant exhaustion by focusing on a task and then making myself complete it. Sometimes the task is simple, getting dressed, sitting up, eating the food Sev has placed on my tray. Things that once I would have hardly thought about, have now become goals that I can strive for. _

_The exhaustion is my constant companion now, I can feel it even while I sleep, and so sleep doesn't help me as much as it should. Sev gives me Dreamless Sleep, but it muddles my head and I cannot think, much less write, the next morning, and often I only pretend to take it. I know it's foolish, but I want to be able to think, I don't want to be drugged into oblivion, no matter how good it is for my health._

_Stuck in this blasted bed most of the day, with only Misty or my mother or Harry for company, since Severus is at work, I write to keep the fear at bay. For if I do not, it shall overwhelm me and I shall become a raving lunatic and end up in the ward at St. Mungos. What do I fear, you ask? Not death, oddly enough. No, I fear leaving myself behind. I fear not being able to see my son grow up. I fear that Severus will fall apart when I am gone and do himself an irreparable injury. But most of all I fear that I will lose everything I fought so hard to gain in this life. My job, my home, my husband. My beautiful baby boy. I love them so much, that the mere thought of never seeing them again makes me ill._

_I recall a conversation Sev and I had on our honeymoon, soon after I had discovered his secret shame-that his father had abused and beaten him as a child-he had asked me how it was that I could love him so much when I had loved James before. I answered, "James and I shared a young love, a springtime love. It was wild and passionate and in it's own way meaningful, but I don't know if it would have lasted. When he was home, we tended to argue, he had different views on almost everything, my place as his wife, raising Harry, we were a study in contrasts. Sometimes that sort of relationship works, but other times . . .I'm not sure if James would have remained faithful to me forever. There was a restlessness in him, a longing that I felt that I could not satisfy, no matter that I loved him. There was always a part of him that looked away . . .to the next challenge, the next adventure, perhaps even the next pretty girl eventually . . .Oh, he loved me well enough in the beginning, but years later . . .my heart whispered that he might not love me then. Ours was a young love, all flash and fire." She smiled reminiscently. "But you, Sev, you I love as a woman grown, not a young girl. You I feel passion for and also something more, something deeper. I know I need never fear that someday you will tire of me and leave, you will stay, throughout all the seasons, and be beside me. Yours is a love that I can grow old with, steadfast and true. We may disagree, but never irrevocably, and when I most need you, there you'll be. And vice versa. That is the love I feel for you, Severus Snape, a love to last for all of my life, the love of a woman for a man who loves her without reservation."_

_And then he kissed me and that night was one of the most passionate I have ever known. Oh, Sev! How I wish I could grow old with you! I would not mind it, not the way some do, for we could age gracefully together, and I would be able to see Harry go to school, and grow up, and perhaps marry and have children. I would love to be a grandmother, Severus. I think I would make a good one. And you, of course would be the doting grandfather, who would pretend to be a strict old patriarch, but who would fool no one. _

_I would love to fulfill that promise I made so long ago, Severus. Two years is hardly enough, I want so much to stay with you forever, to feel your arms about me, and hear you say my name in that sweet seductive way you have. I want to walk along the beach with you, and the meadow in the moonlight, or count the stars as I lie with my head in your lap. Remember how we used to do that at school, back when we were young and innocent? You were older and wiser than me, you always knew I was meant for you. It is so unfair, that just when our life together is beginning, it must darken and fade. _

_I hate to say goodbye, Sev. I want so much to never leave you, but I'm afraid that one day I must, and I cannot see the page for the tears that I cry. Why can't we have what others do, what they take for granted? Why must we always get the short end of the stick, dammit?_

_Now I'm angry, and I haven't the strength to be angry today. But somehow I am, and I feel almost better. My anger gives me strength, strength to continue to fight just one more day. You need me and I need to be here, with you and Harry, my parents, and my friends. I can feel my strength returning . . .my magic responding to me, and the exhaustion flees, for now._

Lily's health rallied all through the Christmas holidays, but after all the hustle and bustle was over and the presents opened and the tree taken down and the leftovers eaten, her strength flagged and she started worsening.

Her condition took a turn for the worse one day in early January, soon after ringing in the New Year, a week before Severus's birthday. She had awoken feeling a little woozy, but she was determined to fix Harry breakfast, as she had been doing for part of the Christmas holiday. She rose, put on her dressing gown, and her soft fuzzy slippers, and went into the kitchen.

Harry was already there, still in his pajamas, and he grinned when he saw his mother. "Mummy, are you feeling better now?"

Lily nodded. "Yes, scamp. Now, what would you like for breakfast?"

Harry thought for a minute. "Uh, can you make pancakes, Mum?"

"Of course. Can you get me the flour and sugar, Harry?" Lily asked.

While Harry scampered off to the pantry, Lily put a hand to her head. She was feeling slightly dizzy, but determined not to give in to it. She had been doing so well, why did this have to happen now? She needed to get the griddle from the cabinet beneath the stove, and she leaned over to do so, and suddenly felt her head begin to spin.

_How strange, I feel like one of those plastic tops Tuney and I used to play with, spinning round and round._

Then she felt the world go dark.

Harry was returning from the pantry with the container of sugar when he heard the thud. "Mummy? Here's the sugar." He walked around the counter, holding the sugar tightly.

Only to drop it when he caught sight of Lily motionless on the floor.

"Mummy?" he called, not understanding. "Why is you on the floor?"

He went over and shook Lily's shoulder. She did not respond. He shook her harder. "Mummy? Mummy? Wake up!"

Still Lily did not open her eyes or stir.

Frightened now, Harry began crying. "Wake up, Mummy! You can't sleep on the floor!"

But Lily remained limp, her auburn hair lying in a fiery swath on the cream colored linoleum, pale and stricken.

Harry shook Lily's shoulder and sobbed. "Please get up, Mum! Get up!"

Harry did not know what had happened to her, but he was smart enough to know that something was very wrong with his mother. And he knew that one person could always fix you when you were sick. He also remembered that his daddy had always said to use the mirror hanging on the wall if they ever needed to call him.

Racing into the den, he located the mirror on a string hanging next to the TV, and he grabbed it. The mirror swirled and he shouted, "Daddy! I need you! Mummy fell down and she won't get up!"

The mirror cleared and Severus's face appeared in it. "Harry? What are you doing with my mirror?"

"Daddy! You need to come home!" his son sobbed, almost incoherent.

"Harry, stop crying. I can't understand you. Harry, listen to me. I need you to take a deep breath. Good. Now, tell me what's the matter, son. Slowly."

Harry followed his dad's directions, trying hard to breathe and stop crying and speak slowly. It was hard. "Dad, Mum fell down and she won't get up."

"What? Is she awake, Harry?"

"No. She's asleep. I called and called and she won't wake up."

Severus shook his head. "All right, Harry. Stay there and I will be right over."

Then the mirror went dark and Harry stayed there, waiting for Severus to arrive.

Severus Apparated into the den a few minutes later, looking about a little wildly. "Harry? Where is your mum?"

"Dad! She's in the kitchen. She was gonna make pancakes."

Severus dashed into the kitchen and knelt down beside his wife. He quickly felt for a pulse, gasping in relief when he felt it. He cast a quick diagnostic and found Lily was suffering from major exhaustion, a drop in blood sugar, and a headache. Her magic was fluctuating wildly as it sought to revive her and try and restore blood glucose levels at the same time.

Severus scooped her up in his arms, carrying her into the bedroom. He carefully spelled a Glucose Increase Elixir directly into her stomach and also an energy draft. Then he cast a spell to awaken her, "Ennervate!"

Lily stirred, then opened her eyes. She blinked and said softly, "Sev? What are you doing here?"

"You passed out and Harry called me," Severus said. He placed a hand on her forehead. "Hmmm . . .no fever. And you didn't crack your head open, from what I can tell. Do you hurt anywhere?"

She shook her head. "No, I just feel sort of tired. Poor Harry. I must have scared him to death. Where is he?"

"In the den, I think. I'll get him," Severus said, and left her to fetch his son.

Harry was sitting on the couch when Severus came in. "Daddy? Is Mummy okay?"

Severus picked him up. "Yes, Harry. She just got a bit tired and well, you can come and see for yourself. I'm very proud of you for remembering to use my mirror to call me."

Harry grinned. "Was that what you meant by a 'mergency, Daddy?"

"Yes, Harry. That was exactly what I meant by an emergency." He hugged his son hard. "Come, your Mum's awake and wants to see you."

"Is she gonna make pancakes now?"

"Maybe a bit later." Severus said softly, and then he carried his son into the bedroom to see Lily.

"Harry, I'm so sorry I scared you, scamp," Lily said, reaching out her arms to hug him.

Harry threw his arms about her and held on tight. "It's okay, Mummy. I just called Daddy on the mirror like he said. Are you all better now?"

Lily sighed, wishing she could say yes. "No, love. I'm afraid I need to sleep a bit. I'm sorry."

Harry put his head on her shoulder, very relieved that his mother was awake. "S'all right. I don' really want pancakes no more."

"Any more," Severus corrected automatically. 'I'll call Misty over, Lily. Or would you rather I called Vi?"

Lily gazed up at him, chagrin and weariness battling in her eyes. "My mother, please. Give poor Misty a break."

"All right. Let me call her. You just relax. Harry, keep your mother company."

"'Kay, Dad." Harry crawled over to the other side of the bed and sat next to his mother, looking at her worriedly. "Does your head hurt, Mum?"

"No, love. But I just need to rest more than I've been doing," Lily said, reaching out to stroke his hair. "Thank you, Harry, for calling your dad. That was a very smart thing you did." She leaned over and kissed him. _Lord, what a thing for him to have to see, me passed out on the floor like a drunken idiot. My poor son!_ She ran her fingers through his messy hair. She hated the fact that she couldn't do everything she wanted, that her son wouldn't remember her the way she remembered her own mother, as someone who baked and cooked and did fun things with her. She cursed the damn disease that made her a prisoner in her own bed, and in her anger, her magic stirred and began to attack the lupus virus in her blood, trying to eradicate it.

But the virus was far too widespread, and her magic could not combat it, though it tried, spending itself recklessly without her even being aware of it. Severus returned and cast a repeat diagnostic , as well as one that monitored her magical reserves, and gasped in horror. "Damn it, Lily! You've been using your magic to fight this again!"

"Sev, I haven't been casting any spells at all," Lily protested.

He shook his head. "Well, something's activated your magic." He placed a hand on her arm, his face intense, and gave her a portion of his own magic, enough to prevent her from exhausting herself totally. He also performed a spell to summon her wayward magic back, keeping it slightly dormant.

By the time he finished, he looked slightly gray and drawn. His dark eyes were burnt holes in his head. "You need to rest, Lily. I'll give you a Sleeping Draft and you should sleep for a good four hours. And here's your Nutrient Potion too." He handed her a vial.

She made a face, but drank it down. "Sev, you look like you need a rest too."

He shrugged. "I have a half a schedule of patients left to see, I need to be getting back to the office. Your mum should be here in about ten minutes."

"Daddy, what about my pancakes?" Harry spoke up from where he had been leaning against his mother. "I never got any breakfast."

Severus exchanged rueful glances with Lily. "I can make you pancakes, son."

Harry jumped up and into Severus's arms, and the Healer carried him into the kitchen to help make the promised pancakes.

Vi arrived just as Harry was finishing his second pancake and Severus was putting sausages on a platter. "Hello, Harry!" she came and hugged him. "You smell so good." She gave him a kiss.

Then she turned to Severus. "Sev, how is Lily?"

"She's in bed. I have her on bed rest and I'll be giving her a Sleeping Draft too. Her magic tried to repair some of the damage and nearly drained her reserves, but I stabilized her. All she needs is to be kept quiet for a few days and hopefully she'll recover soon. In the meantime, your grandson can keep you busy, right, Harry?"

"Yup. We can play Candy Land again, Gram."

Vi smiled at him, she had bought him the Candy Land game for Christmas. "That's a great idea, Harry. I love Candy Land. Why don't you go and get it and we'll play in the den, okay?"

"Wash your hands first, Harry, you've syrup on them," Severus ordered.

Harry halted in his rush to get to the cabinet under the TV where the game was stored. "How'd you know that, Daddy?"

Severus hid a smirk. "I'm your father, that's how."

Harry nodded, it didn't surprise him that his dad knew almost everything.

While Harry was washing his hands, Vi drew Severus off to the side and said quietly, "Severus, tell me the truth. Can you truly invent a cure, or is this only a temporary thing?"

"Vi, right now everything I'm doing is to treat symptoms and prevent her magic from spiraling out of control trying to heal a virus that replicates quicker than it can be destroyed." Severus admitted softly. "But I'm not giving up on a cure, Vi. My research is simply taking me more time than I thought. But I'm close to finding a potion that can restore the lost antibodies the lupus kills. I just need more time." He ran a hand through his hair agitatedly.

"And what if you can't, Sev? Not that I doubt you, but . . .you and I both know it's a possibility."

He was silent for a long moment. "Yes. If I can't . . .then I shall treat her as best I can with magic until . . ." He trailed off, not wanting to say the awful words out loud. "But hopefully it won't come to that, Vi. I swore on my Healer's Oath I would save her."

Vi looked at the young man before her and her heart went out to him. She knew he had known too much loss in his life to ever take anything for granted, and he was fighting so hard to hold on to his wife, it fair broke her heart. For she had an odd premonition that this was going to end in tragedy.

Abruptly, she reached out and hugged the tall wizard. "Just do the best you can, luv. That's all anyone can ask."

She released him a moment later, and he looked at her, startled. "What was that for?"

"Because you looked like you could use a hug, Healer Snape. Go on, better get back to work before your patients come looking for you," she told him. "I'll hold down the fort here."

"I'll see you later. Thank you, Vi."

"Go on with you, Sev! I don't need you to thank me for doing what ought to be done. You're family, after all." She waved him off, and he disappeared a moment later.

Her grandson ran into the room then. "I'm all clean, Gran. Now let's play, okay?"

Vi smiled assent and Harry went to get the game from the closet.

* * * * * *

_Lily's journal_

_March 17, 1984_

_Today is St. Patrick's Day, and if we were in Ireland, we'd be having a big party. But instead we're in London and the only thing we're doing to mark the holiday is coloring the milk green and making corned beef and cabbage and boiled potatoes and Harry has drawn several pictures of shamrocks and leprechauns and rainbows._

_Several of them are hanging in my bedroom now, so I can look at something other than the boring walls. My son is so thoughtful sometimes, the little scamp! I have been doing worse as the lupus has nearly destroyed much of my immune system, slowly but surely. Lately, I've been plagued with endless rounds of arthritis, and chest colds, as the disease attacks my joints and respiratory system._

_Severus does his best to alleviate the symptoms, but I am so tired of being dosed with potions. I know it's necessary, but I'm beginning to dread the appearance of that silver tray in my room. His brilliant potion to restore my white blood cell count was rejected, my body could not tolerate it, much to my dismay. And his. I felt so terrible, that my own body should betray me thus, and after all his weeks of hard work too! _

_Sev says he will try again, a different variation. But I hold little hope that it will work. I have been on a downward spiral since January and I fear that my days are numbered, however much Severus seeks to deny it. There is an odd sort of knowing that comes with being close to death, and I can sense myself fading more and more each day._

_I continue to write in this journal, hoping that one day Harry will read it and learn about me from it as more than just a picture on a page. I love you so much, Harry James Severus! I wish above all to be there to watch you grow, though I know you will turn out to be a fine young man. I would have liked to see you go off to Hogwarts, though I probably would have embarrassed you past bearing crying at Platform 9and ¾'s. I am pondering now what House you might be in. You have a kind and generous heart, so perhaps Hufflepuff? But your mischievous streak and recklessness point to your Gryffindor side, inherited from James. And yet, I also see that you push yourself, you are already a year or two ahead of most kids your age, so maybe you would fit best in Slytherin, like Severus. And you're definitely smart enough for a Ravenclaw. _

_My beautiful baby boy, I knew from the first moment I held you in my arms that you were special, meant to do great things. I suppose all mothers think that about their firstborn, but it's the truth, nonetheless. You were quick to sit up, and laugh, and you walked all at once at eight months, and astonished everyone. Except for me, who had been expecting it. _

_I have a feeling you will continue to surprise everyone with your intelligence and your magic, which I could tell was strong even as an infant, though it was sleeping. Use your power wisely, Harry, and try not to drive your dad crazy. He loves you to pieces, though he might scold you half to death. And when I am gone to heaven, you will be his only family, so love him forever, Harry. He needs you, son._

She set down her quill abruptly, blotting her eyes with a handkerchief. Damn, she had sworn she would not get all teary-eyed, but it was impossible not to. There was a lump in her throat the size of a glacier every time she considered the possibility that she would die at age twenty-four, having barely had time to live, or to grow old. And now she never would.

She closed her eyes and tears seeped from beneath her lashes. She hastily wiped them away. It wasn't fair! There was so much she wanted to do, to see, to experience. She and Severus were supposed to have a lifetime together, not this paltry few years, one of them marked with a chronic fatal illness.

She slammed her fist down on the table in impotent anger.

Then she sighed and resolved to make the most of the time she had left.

_Lily's journal_

_June 18, 1984_

_It is as I feared. As the lupus progresses, I am growing weaker and more resigned. Twice now Sev had to repair my lungs and once my kidneys. Decongestion drafts, Class Five Pain Relievers, Blood Replenisher, Energy Increasers, have become part of my meal everyday. Lately, I've been unable to keep much down except chicken soup and water and crackers. I feel like I did when I was pregnant with Harry. Only this time there will be no happy reward._

_Sev has tried repeatedly to dose me with new variations of his Immunity Antibody Repair Elixir, but I cannot tolerate any of them. It is as if there is something within me that says-enough! This is not to be. I can sense, in some odd way, that I am not long for this world, and I grieve that I will no longer be able to hold my child, and see him grow, or to kiss my husband and fall asleep in his arms after a night of passion. _

_One night I woke and saw Sev weeping, quietly, he is never one to let his emotions run wild, but I could feel the despair and loss radiating from him, and I almost went to him to hug him. But I hesitated, he is proud, my Healer, and would not want me to see him sobbing so openly, even though I have comforted him before, from nightmares and such. So I watched, and wept silently along with him, for I would never wish to cause him pain, who has been so marked by it already._

_Perhaps it would be best if one night I slipped away, like an old dog, to die alone, and so spare my family the agony of watching me fade away, and be helpless to prevent it. _

_But even as I think that, I know I've not the courage to do so. I am scared and selfish, I do not want to die alone, and so I stay and cling to the familiar, and curse myself for a coward even as I clutch Sev's hand in the middle of the night. It is not the dying so much I fear, as it is leaving those I love behind. In the realm of shadows, beyond heaven's gate, James awaits me and so do all the others who have gone before, but still I do not wish to say goodbye to Severus and Harry or my parents, or even Petunia. I want to remain here with them, and live out my life._

_But I don't think I can make that choice, and so I must use the time I have to its best advantage. It is all I can do. My magic has refused to go back to sleep, and now it fights within me, here, there, and everywhere, struggling to heal me. It is burning itself out, as I don't have the reserves to maintain this level of power, and as my magic fades, so do I. _

_But it is a gradual thing, and painless. For that, at least, I am most grateful. I cannot calculate how long I have left, Severus refuses to share that with me, or perhaps he does not know. I pray that I make it to Harry's birthday and our anniversary, I do not wish to die on either of those days. They would be tarnished forever. How ironic, that I, who had so many goals, to be a good mother, and an Auror, and an understanding wife, has now only one goal left to accomplish._

_To die in a time and a place of my choosing._

_But that much I will do. I have magic enough within me still to grant me this one last choice. _

_Now I must set this aside, for I am too weary to concentrate. I need to think of a gift for Harry, something special, something that he can remember me by. _

_But right now I must sleep._

Lily Snape carefully set her quill and journal aside on the nightstand. She turned and looked at her husband, his ebony hair tousled, sleeping soundly next to her, and then she snuggled up next to him and allowed his strength to surround her, his arms to hold her close, secure in the knowledge that Severus would always be there, unto the last breath, and she would not be alone. _The greatest sacrifice shall be made, not by me, but by you, beloved, and as God is my witness, I cherish you for it._ Then she leaned over and kissed him, her lips gentle as the wind's caress, and in his sleep Severus smiled.

Then Lily allowed herself to drift off into the realm of dreams, where she was whole and strong and Severus and Harry lived happily ever after with her, a dream that would be lost upon waking, but beautiful while it lasted.

**How did you like that glimpse into Lily's head with her journal?  
**


	29. A Last Special Gift

**A Last Special Gift**

**This is a fluffy chapter, though there are a few sad parts, so don't put away the Kleenex just yet! Thanks to all my reviewers for reading, you are awesome!**

Gathering all of her remaining strength, Lily placed her feet on the floor and stood. Nowadays, even that simple act took major effort, and left her feeling as if she'd been fighting Death Eaters nonstop. But she was determined to do this, one last time, to shop for a special gift for Harry's fourth birthday. She put a hand out to steady herself against the wall just as Alice came rushing in.

"Lily, are you sure you want to do this?" she asked worriedly. "Your mum and I could always go for you."

"I know, and thanks, but this is something I need to do myself, Alice. Know what I mean?" she gave her friend a sort of lopsided smile. "I'll try real hard not to fall down till after we're back home," she joked.

"Oh, Lily!" Alice reached out and hugged her friend, tears streaking her face.

"Hey, that was a joke. You're supposed to laugh," Lily murmured, knowing she must feel like skin and bones through her summer turquoise pant set, she practically existed on Nutrient potions and water these days.

"Don't quit your day job, Lil," Alice managed to say, quickly dashing away tears. "You all set?"

"Yes. Now let's get moving, before Sev discovers our plot and ties me to the bed."

"He do that a lot? I never would've figured him for _that_ sort," Alice giggled wickedly.

"He's got hidden depths to him," Lily chuckled. She carefully placed her arm in Alice's.

"Mmmhmm. Wish Frank did. But he's like an open book, I knew everything there was to know about him after the first date." Alice grinned, helping her friend walk slowly across the room. "Relax, this jailbreak is easy, compared to some others I've done."

"What others?"

Alice just smirked maddeningly. "Tell you later. Wouldn't want Sev to bust us. He'll ground us for life and take away our broomsticks."

Lily giggled and concentrated on putting one foot in front of the other. Walking was something she only did when absolutely necessary, for it taxed her fading strength. Severus would have a fit if he knew, she thought naughtily. "Where's my mum?"

"In the getaway car." Alice answered. They had reached the hallway. "Okay, the coast is clear. I think it's safe to Apparate now." She pulled Lily close and then concentrated. For some witches, Apparition required them to turn in a circle, but for those with talent, like Alice, it required only a clear mental image and focus to vanish instantaneously.

They appeared just outside Vi's powder blue Ford Anglia, and Alice helped Lily into the car before hopping in herself. "Mission accomplished, Vi. Stole her right out from under Sheriff Severus's nose."

"Good job, my girl!" Vi applauded, pulling away. "Hope you didn't shoot him."

Lily snickered at her mother's wit. "I hope he doesn't worry too much when he finds me gone."

"Don't worry, Lil. I left him a ransom note. Surrender Lily. Signed the Wicked Witch of the West."

"You're awful, Alice!" Lily laughed.

"Yup. I'm the one your mother warned you about, all right."

Vi drove the car until they reached a small side street, then parked it and got out. "Next stop, Diagon Alley. Come on, girls! It's time to spend some Galleons!"

"Can you adopt me, Mrs. Evans? 'Cause you are way cooler than my mum," Alice begged, then drew her wand and tapped on the blank wall at the end of the alley.

* * * * * *

Ten minutes later, the wayward shopaholics were in Trimelda's Toys, searching for the perfect gift. Lily bypassed all the new toys and brooms, much to Vi's surprise. She was looking for something specific, not the commercialized brand name toys. Finally, while browsing near a small corner of stuffed toys and picture books, she saw it.

Sitting high atop a shelf was a beautiful stuffed panther, about the size of a large housecat, with plush black velvet fur and bright glass green eyes. Lily smiled. It was perfect. She reached up and took it down, hugging it to her. It was soft and cuddly, the perfect toy for Harry to snuggle with and sleep with at bedtime or anytime.

"Look, Alice!" she showed the panther to her friend. "It's perfect! Harry loves the Jungle Book stories, Bagheera is his favorite character in them. And here is a lovely panther, just waiting for some little boy to give him a home. Feel him!"

Alice hugged the panther as well. "Oh, Lil! He's wonderfully soft. Nev would love a toy like this."

"And Harry loves Bagheera, and he was just saying the other day that he was too old to be carrying Smokey around anymore, that purple dragons were for babies." Lily smiled, taking the panther back from Alice. "I had a stuffed kitty when I was little, and I took her everywhere with me, she was like my best friend. Until I met Severus, that is."

Vi found them a few minutes later, and she too agreed that the panther was a perfect gift. Lily paid for it and then they left to pick up a few more small items, before Alice opened the tunnel back to where they had parked the car.

* * * * * *

They arrived home and found a very irritated Severus waiting on the porch, looking very much like a father waiting for the arrival of a disobedient teenage daughter who had snuck out of the house.

"Uh oh. He looks the way my dad did after he caught me climbing down the trellis to meet Frank at midnight when I was fifteen," Alice said, smirking like a guilty teenager. "Maybe we should just keep driving, Vi."

"Where the hell have you been, Lily?" Severus demanded, striding over to the car and opening the door to assist his wife out. "I come home and find you gone and Misty doesn't know where you went. Do you have any idea how worried I've been?"

"Sev, calm down." Lily began, laying a hand on her husband's arm.

"I _am_ calmed down. You should have seen me ten minutes ago."

"We're sorry, Dad, we didn't ask your permission before going to the mall," Alice put in, her blue eyes twinkling merrily.

"I thought you left him a note," Lily said, giving the petite Auror an accusing look.

"Uh, I thought about it," said her friend with a guilty expression. Then she turned to Severus, who was still wearing a disapproving scowl, and said, "Really, Sev, Lily wanted to shop for a special present for Harry, and she figured you'd never agree to let her go out since she's sick, so Vi and I kidnapped her."

"Very funny, Alice. I'm not a prison warden, you know." Severus said grumpily. He swung Lily up into his arms and said, quietly, "I would have come with you, if you had asked me. I just want to keep you safe, Lily. When I came home and found you missing . . .all I could think of was that something had happened and you were rushed to St. Mungos and I Apparated there and nobody knew anything about a Lily Ann Snape being admitted there. I was frantic and I probably looked like an idiot. Please, don't ever do that to me again."

"I'm sorry, Sev. I didn't mean to make you worry," Lily apologized, giving her husband a sheepish look. "But I wanted to pick out a special gift for Harry's birthday, because this could be the last one that I'll be around for, so . . ."

"All right, I forgive you. But if you ever scare me like that again, I'll . . .I'll cast a Sticking Charm and tie you to the bed."

Lily tried to look contrite, but she couldn't quite manage it. She snickered, looking at Alice, and said, "See? Didn't I tell you he'd say that?" She eyed her husband fondly. "Severus, since when did you change your name to Henry Evans?"

Severus gaped at her. "I didn't . . .what's that supposed to mean?. . .You think I'm acting like your father?"

"You are, dear," Vi commented, chuckling. "But that's all right, all men tend to become overprotective idiots when they're concerned about their wives." She patted his cheek, and he flushed a dusky red color. "I have to be going, Lil, your dad should be done with his golf game by now and probably be raiding the fridge, only there's nothing much to eat, since I haven't gone shopping yet. I'm a terrible wife, aren't I, neglecting my husband," she said, a naughty glint in her eye. "I'll be back tomorrow for the party. Two o'clock, right?"

"Yes. Goodbye, Mum. See you tomorrow!" Lily waved, as Severus turned about, heading up the front stairs.

"Have you eaten anything since this morning, Lily? No, I can tell from the expression on your face. How about we try a malted chocolate milkshake today?"

"With a side of a Nutrient Potion and a Stomach Soother chaser, huh?"

"You're brilliant, Mrs. Snape," her husband remarked, then kissed her. "Just what your Healer ordered."

Alice followed them with Harry's present. "How about the rest of us starving people, Sev? Please tell me you're not all on a liquid diet in your house."

"No, but you deserve to get a time-out and no lunch for being a sly little minx, Alice!" he teased, shaking a finger at her in mock reproof. "Whatever were you thinking?"

Alice pretended to look sorry. "That my best friend needed a girl's day out, Healer Snape. It's got to be boring as seven hells being trapped in that bed all day long."

"I know, but her platelet count was down, and it's all too easy to catch a cold or something when that happens. I'm just trying to prevent further complications. I don't mean to act like . . .like an overbearing ass, you know."

"Is that an apology?" Alice grinned.

"Yes, you interfering snip," Severus said, pretending to glower. "The only one you're going to get, so take it or leave it."

Alice laughed. "I take back what I said before, you're nothing like my father. He thinks the words _I'm sorry_ are a foreign language."

Severus muttered something that sounded suspiciously like "So does my bloody father," before setting Lily down in a chair at the kitchen table.

"Am I still in trouble, sir?" asked Alice in her best little-girl voice, giving Severus an impish grin.

"You were born in trouble, Longbottom," drawled Severus lightly. "You're lucky Neville takes after Frank."

Alice shouted with laughter. "Ha! Frank was worse than I ever was. Neville takes after his grandfather, I think. Tom was always even-tempered, one reason why he was such a good Herbologist."

"Now that I can believe. Would you like turkey or ham on a roll?"

"Tunafish."

"Don't push it, Alice," he warned, smirking. Then he summoned the cold cuts and began preparing some sandwiches and a malted milkshake, as relieved as a sheepdog whose strayed sheep had returned home.

* * * * * *

The next day, July 31st, was Harry's fourth birthday. Severus had decorated the house in the jungle theme that Harry had wanted, using illusion to make the den and the kitchen look like a wild jungle, complete with a false waterfall on the den wall and canopied trees, vines, and fake animals like parrots, panthers, monkeys, tigers, and an elephant that trumpeted when a visitor walked into the foyer.

Ron, Ginny, Neville, and Fred and George all thought the décor was "wickedly brilliant", and kept trying to touch the illusionary animals and put their hands in the waterfall. All of the illusions felt and looked and sounded real, but the water didn't get you wet and you couldn't ride the elephant either. George tried, and ended up flat on his bum, much to the amusement of his siblings, Neville, and Harry.

Vi had baked a lovely chocolate cake with vanilla frosting, complete with plastic jungle critters and Harry's name and Happy Birthday done in blue icing. Refreshments consisted of small finger foods, sandwiches, and fruit punch and pumpkin juice for the children, and iced tea for the adults.

The kids had fun playing games like Elephant Walk, where they had to pretend to be elephants, and the best one got a trumpet that sounded like one, courtesy of Sirius, who made it. Ron won that game, and Molly threatened to ship her son over to the Black house and torture Sirius with the trumpet while he slept. "As if I don't have enough noise in the Burrow already, Siri, honestly!"

Pin-the-Tail-on-the-Tiger was another hit, and Harry ended up with the small fake tiger skin rug for his bedroom. "Just like Mowgli, Dad!" he told Severus excitedly.

There was the Monkey Toss as well, where the kids had to toss banana-shaped bean bags into a series of buckets and the one who got the most won a certificate to the ice cream shoppe for a giant-sized banana split. The twins won that one, and Molly just groaned, for the last thing those two needed was more sugar. But at least they could both share it.

Neville and Ginny received consolation prizes of small stuffed animals, Neville got a small stuffed giraffe and Ginny a wolf cub.

They were all eating the cake when three surprise visitors showed up.

"Hello, Harry! We come bearing gifts!" Matthew said, stepping out of the fireplace, followed by Albus and Minerva.

"Uncle Matt! Uncle Al! Auntie Min!" shouted Harry. "You came just in time for cake."

"We planned it that way, kid," laughed Matthew, and gave him a hug.

"How old are you, Harry? Five? Six?" asked Albus.

"Nope, I'm only four, Uncle Al."

"But you're a very mature four," said Minerva, ruffling his hair.

Harry shrugged. "I guess so. You wanna have some cake? My gran made it special."

"I would love some, Harry." Minerva beamed, and handed him her wrapped present.

"Thank you," he said, remembering his manners this time without prompting from his parents.

The three new arrivals seated themselves at the table, which magically expanded to accommodate them, and were greeted by Severus and Lily.

"Glad you could make it, Matt." Severus said to his partner. "Thought you might have opted to sleep instead, considering the call you had last night."

"I would never miss Harry's birthday if I could help it, Severus." The physician yawned. "Although I feel like I did back in med school, pulling an all-nighter for my Magical Diagnostic final."

Severus shoved a glass of black Bohea tea over to the blond Healer. "Drink that, it'll keep you up for another five hours."

"Thanks, buddy," Matthew took the cup and downed it in two swallows. "Nimue's staff, Sev! What'd you lace that with, firewhiskey?"

The Master Healer shook his head. "You know I don't keep alcoholic beverages in my house, Morgan. Not even for medicinal purposes. That's triple-strength brewed black India tea with a dash of orange peel."

"Phew! That could animate a corpse, Sev."

Minerva was looking at the teapot curiously. "Mind if I try some?"

"Be my guest," Severus slid a cup over to her. "But it is very strong."

The Transfiguration professor didn't seemed fazed. "I'm Scots, I like my tea strong."

"Watch out, Minerva, it'll put hair on your chest," warned Matthew.

She put the cup to her lips and sipped.

Everyone waited for her reaction.

She set the cup down.

Then she smiled. "Just right for a braw Highland day, Healer Snape."

Albus burst out laughing at Matthew's shocked expression.

"I used to drink that when I was studying for my Healer Medical Boards and my Auror entrance exams," Severus admitted. "Two cups of that and I was able to stay up all night without a Stimulant Draft."

"I still think you spiked it with something, Snape," muttered Matthew.

"Healer's Oath, Matt, there's nothing but tea in there," his partner stated solemnly, grinning evilly. "You Americans don't know how to appreciate strong tea, is all."

Matthew just rolled his eyes, too wise to engage in a debate he wouldn't win.

After everyone had eaten dessert, it was time to open presents, and Severus declared Harry utterly spoiled by everyone, including himself. It had been decided that Lily's gift would be given later, so Harry would have time to appreciate it, rather than receiving it amid all the other ones.

While Severus was supervising Harry afterwards as he played with his gifts, Lily drew Minerva and Albus and Matthew off to the side, and said, "I was hoping to speak with you earlier, but . . .now is as good a time as any," She had her hands folded in her lap, and her cheeks were flushed with an unnatural color, for she was running a low grade fever that refused to break despite Severus's potions. "You all know that I'm running on borrowed time, and I need to ask you all a favor."

"Anything, Lily," Matthew was quick to say, his hazel eyes full of compassion and sorrow.

"I want you to watch over Severus when I am gone. I know you probably will any how, but this way . . .He will never ask you to help, he's too bloody proud, but please, look after him. It would make me feel better, knowing that you are there if he needs you . . ."

Minerva cleared her throat, steadfastly blinking back tears. "Of course we will look after Sev, dearest. He is like a son to me and to Albus too."

"You needn't worry on that score, my girl," Albus sniffled. "We shall drop by as often as may be, on one pretext or another."

"And he won't be able to play stoic with me, I know him far too well for that," reassured Matthew. "I'll keep an eye on him and Harry, never fear, Lil."

Lily drew in a deep breath, coughing slightly. Her heart now felt lighter. "Thank you. I had been worried that he might . . .attempt to follow me down the starry road. But if he knows that he is loved, he will stay, for you as well as Harry. I have asked Sirius and Remus as well, and both of them have promised me the same thing. Severus is not normally one to seek death as a solution to a problem, but grief does strange things to a man, and the bond between us . . .is very strong . . ." Two tears ran down her cheeks unheeded. "His magic is all that keeps me from walking that road now. That is why he drinks that tea, though he will never admit it. But he cannot keep giving me his strength forever, and once it is withdrawn . . ."

Matthew looked alarmed. "How long has he been giving you his magic, Lily?"

"Not long. Since yesterday. He knows his limit, Matthew. I trust him. A month, no longer, and then I shall refuse him, and slip away quietly. But I wanted to be here to celebrate my son's birthday, and our anniversary. I will not let him sacrifice himself in a doomed attempt to keep me here." She lifted a hand to wipe away the tears. Her voice, when she spoke again, was filled with an iron determination. "Bad enough Harry must know my loss and James's, I refuse to let him lose Severus as well. When the time comes, I shall do what must be done."

Albus reached out and caught her hand in his own. "My dear girl, you are braver than any Gryffindor ever Sorted, myself included. How I wish I could spare you this choice, but even my power cannot keep death at bay."

"I would never expect that, old friend. I am called, the Angel of death has written my name in his book, and when it is time, he shall come for me." Lily declared serenely. "I am not seeking to cheat death, only delay it for awhile. Thank you." Then she rose and walked slowly back over to where her son was unwrapping the last of his gifts, smiling at him lovingly.

The three wizards stared after her admiringly, wiping tears from their faces.

"Now there goes the bravest soul I have ever known," murmured Healer Morgan.

"Indeed. A true daughter of Merlin," Albus agreed, then bowed his head, his shoulders shaking.

Minerva, also weeping, put an arm about him, for both knew this was probably the last time they would speak with Lily.

Matthew was dangerously close to tears himself, and started to leave, but was halted by Minerva's hand on his robe, and she hugged him to her as well, muttering irritably, "Oh for God's sake, let yourself grieve, you young pup, there's naught to be ashamed of."

And to his utter shock, Matthew found himself obeying, and crying quietly on the opposite side of her tartan-clad shoulder. He hated losing a patient like this, and worse, a friend. But like Lily, he had resigned himself to the inevitable months before, though the realization did not make it hurt any less. He shivered, for he could only imagine how much worse Severus and Harry would feel once Lily was gone forever. And he knew of no magic potion that would cure a broken heart.

* * * * *

Later on that night, after everyone had gone home and Harry had gotten a bath and come down off the sugar high from eating too many sweets, Severus told him that he had one last present to open. Lily had shown him the panther the night before and he had agreed that this gift should be opened in private.

"I do? Where is it? Who's it from? Aunt Petunia?"

"No, it's from your mum," Severus replied. Petunia had been invited to the party, but had sent a reply back that she would not be attending, she had other obligations and had not sent a gift. Or if she had, it had not arrived yet. Severus wasn't holding his breath, he knew the disdain she held for wizards in general and his son in particular.

He brought Harry into the bedroom, where Lily was lying propped up by several pillows, a brightly wrapped green, blue, and gold package in her hands. "Hi, little imp!" she smiled. "I have one more gift for you, birthday boy."

Severus set Harry down and the little boy ran towards her, his green eyes lighting up. "What is it, Mummy? You already gave me a present-the dragon flyer swing. It's so cool, Ron and I took turns on it and it goes really high."

The swing was Severus's idea, a new addition to the existing swing set, a special swing shaped like a dragon that floated and hovered in the air before coming down. It was all the rage among the toddlers that year and Severus had waited on line for hours to pre-order one and it had been delivered two days ago and the Healer had stayed up all last night assembling it.

Lily held out an arm and Harry snuggled next to her, but gently, for he knew that his mother was often achy and hurting, and he didn't want to make her worse.

"I'm glad you like the swing. That was your dad's idea. But this is from me, Harry. Something special that I'd like you to have." She handed him the package.

He tore open the paper and for one moment just looked at the ebony panther sitting among the colored paper. Then he grinned and hugged the soft silky cat to him. "Is he all mine? Like forever?"

"Yes, my Harry. I thought he could keep you company at night, now that Smokey's too old to do that. Do you like him?"

"I love him, Mum! He's soft and furry, just like a real panther. Just like I 'magine Bagheera would be. And he has green eyes like me an' you too."

Lily nodded. "And he will be there for you, son, whenever you want to hold something in the middle of the night, or need a friend to talk to, or to play with." Unknown to her husband, she had used the last of her strength to cast a special working upon the stuffed panther, weaving a spell of comfort and love into the fabric of the toy, so that when Harry held or played with the toy, he would feel warmth and happiness and love radiating from it. In that way, she could give her son comfort from beyond the grave.

"He'll be my bestest friend, right? Like you an' Daddy are," Harry said suddenly, hugging the panther hard.

"Yes, just like that." Lily agreed, smiling at Severus.

"What are you going to call this best friend of yours, scamp?" Severus queried, watching his son and his wife together with a lump in his throat.

Harry bit his lip. "Uhh . . ."

"Bagheera?" Lily offered. "He was always your favorite in the Mowgli stories."

But Harry shook his head. "No. Bagheera's bigger, this one's too little."

"How about Shadow?" suggested his father.

Harry considered. "No. A kid in my class has a dog named that. I want him to have his own name, Dad." He glanced about the room, thinking hard.

Suddenly, his eye was caught by the black and silver inkwell upon Lily's nightstand, next to her journal. And then Harry knew his friend's name.

He bent and whispered it into one satiny ear and nodded. "Yes. That's just right."

"What is?" Lily asked, puzzled.

"His name. It's Inky, Mum. "Cause he's the color of ink and he likes to draw pictures too, only he don't have hands, so I have to draw them for him."

"Inky. I like that. It's a wonderful name, Harry."

"Very appropriate," Severus said.

"And now you have a friend who will never leave you, my son. Inky will be there always, and whenever you feel scared or mad or lonely, you can hold him and he'll make you feel better." Lily told him.

"Like you do, Mum."

"Yes, but . . .Harry, do you remember when I told you that I would always love you, no matter if you could see me or not?"

"Yeah. But why won't I be able to see you? Are you going away? Like on a trip with Dad?"

"I . . .in a way. And I might not be back for . . .for a very long time. So I gave you Inky, luv, to keep you from missing me. When you hold him . . .remember me and know that somewhere I am watching you, child. And that I will always love you, baby." She pulled Harry into her arms and held him tightly, silent tears slipping down her cheeks.

"Mum . . .you're choking me . . ." her son protested, not understanding why his mother was clutching him so tightly.

"Sorry, sweetling." Lily apologized. "I just needed a hug, that's all."

Severus met her eyes and then turned away, to keep from breaking down utterly. _He doesn't understand, but this is her last gift to him. And also goodbye. _He shut his eyes, struggling to keep his grief under wraps. _It's too soon, Lil. And yet, I know you are in pain and only my will holds you here. It will be a mercy for you to let go, and rest in peace, but I do not know if I can bear to let you go, beloved. Selfish man that I am, I know only that I shall miss you, and nothing will ever be the same once you are gone._

Suddenly, he was beside the bed, and his arm was about his wife's shoulders. He summoned his magic and let it flow into Lily's battered body, infusing her with his power, giving her the strength she needed to keep breathing for another few days, ignoring the sudden searing pain that always accompanied the transfer of his raw power in such a great amount.

"Sev!"

He sagged against her for a moment. "I'm all right, Lily," he muttered, shaking off the sudden vertigo and exhaustion.

"It's too much for you."

"No. I'm fine," he insisted stubbornly.

"Stubborn hardheaded fool!" she scolded half-heartedly, feeling his magic restore her.

"Yes," he agreed, unrepentant. "But a stubborn hardheaded fool that loves you. Always." He placed his lips against her hair and whispered, "Soon enough I shall bid you farewell, my heart. But not yet. Not just yet."

Harry managed to wriggle free of Lily's embrace at last, and saw the two of them looking at each other in that weird way they had, like all they saw was each other. "Aww . . .gross! Not the mushy stuff again!" he groaned, giving Inky a disgusted look. "That stuff's for girls, Inky." He rolled his eyes. "Mum? Dad? You gonna do this kissing stuff all night?"

Neither of them answered him, lost in their own private world for a moment.

""Cause if you are, I'm gonna go to bed. C'mon, Inky. They get like this sometimes_. _Grown-ups! And they say kids are weird!" He slipped off the bed and retreated down the hall to his room, chattering away to Inky about his birthday and telling him about another panther named Bagheera, who had all sorts of adventurers with a little boy named Mowgli. "We can do that too, y'know, Inky. I'm a wizard, and when my magic wakes up, I'll be able to do all sorts of things, but for now we can pretend, okay? I'm real good at pretending . . .better than even Ronnie and Nev. Daddy says I have a big 'magination . . .let's pretend we're lost in the jungle and a mean old tiger's after us . . ."

The little boy raced down the hall very fast, almost as if a tiger really were chasing him, and jumped up on his bed. "Now we're safe, Inky. Nothing bad can get me on my bed, and you can scratch that bad old tiger's eyes out if he tries to get up here, can't you, boy?" He hugged Inky and made the panther nod. "You're my bestest friend, Inky . . .always . . ."

Then the four-year-old wizardling tugged the covers over his head and fell fast asleep, the stuffed panther held close, surrounding him with an aura of peace and love enough to last a lifetime, as his mother had intended.

**Hope you liked this one! I'm kind of drained writing this, so please excuse any errors, I'll fix 'em later.**


	30. Where Shadows Go

**Where Shadows Go**

**Warning: KLEENEX!!!**

_One month later:_

She dreamed she was flying, high above the earth, without a broomstick. Up and up and up, beyond the endless vault of the sky, to a place that shimmered and sparkled with stray bits of light, like diamond dust in the dark. She could feel the pull of the starry path, it beckoned her onward, promising her soothing release from the pain that was her constant companion.

Tentatively, she placed a foot upon the glittering path, and it was then she heard the song, a beautiful melody that filled her weary tired spirit with a joy so great it was almost incomprehensible. She wept softly, and longed to follow the road to its end, to the place where shadows go, seeking refuge from the coming of day, a place of peace and safety, that harbored no evil ever, nor pain and suffering.

_Come, Lily. Come with me. Don't be afraid._

That voice. . .she knew it, though she had not heard it in years.

_James? Is that you?_

He appeared before her then, as he had been when she had last seen him, wearing the blue and gold robes of his calling, his hair flying every which way, glasses slightly askew on the bridge of his nose. There was a strange unearthly glow about him, as if sunlight were shining within him, and he smiled and held out a hand.

_Hello, Lily. Ready to take a walk with me?_

_Now?_ She glanced uneasily back towards the earth. Far away, she could hear another voice calling to her, a lonely sad voice, beloved and filled with a terrible desperate longing. _Sev? I'm coming, just wait. . ._

She turned back to James, who wore a sad yet knowing expression on his face. _Sev needs me, James. I can't come with you. Not yet._

_His love binds you to the earth. But not forever. You must tell him to let go. It is almost time, Lily. Tell him to let go. . .let go. . .let go. . ._

She woke gasping for breath, an unnatural cold seeping through her veins. She began to shiver violently, waking her husband, who immediately turned to her and held her. "Sev? I'm so cold . . ."

"Your fever's spiked again. Shhh. . ." He murmured a warming charm, then summoned a Fever Reducer, though the potion barely had any effect upon her failing body anymore.

She drank obediently though, and the chill receded. "I had a strange dream. I was flying and then James was there. . .I haven't dreamed of James since . . .he died."

Severus stiffened. "What did he look like, Lily?"

"He . . .like himself, except . . .his skin . . .it was lit from within by a . . .glow, I can't describe it . . ."

"An avatar." The Healer murmured hoarsely. "Did he say anything?"

Another tremor wracked her, and for a moment, she couldn't reply. Then she managed, "He asked me to walk with him . . .But I refused and he said . . .he said you had to let me go . . ."

Severus said nothing for a long moment, then he quoted the ancient saying from the teachings of Merlin, "_Follow the starry road, to the realm where shadows go, an avatar shall guide you, to a place evil shall never know, heaven's light shall surround thee, and the peace of those who have gone before, may God's grace bless and keep you forever."_ His voice broke upon the last line, and tears trickled down his cheeks.

Lily reached out a hand and stroked his hair. "Don't, Sev. Please. No regrets, remember? I will never regret loving you. You are the very best thing in my life. But I am fading, Sev . . ." Her green eyes shone with an odd luminous light, and her skin was pale as parchment.

"I can give you more of my magic," he began.

"No. You have given me enough, love. You must not sacrifice yourself for me, Sev. I am not afraid . . .not anymore. . ." She drew in a breath, let it out slowly. "Promise me something."

"Anything."

"Promise me that you will not follow me where shadows go, Severus Tobias Snape."

"Lily . . .I . . ." his face twisted, as if in indescribable agony.

"Promise me, Sev!" her voice became sharp, insistent. I know we are bonded and that you love me, but please, you have so much more to live for. Harry needs you especially . . .and so does everyone else who loves you. Don't follow me, Severus. Promise me, on your Healer's Oath!"

She met his eyes steadily, and at last he nodded reluctantly, unable to refuse this last request. "I promise, little flower."

"On your Oath, Sev."

"On my Healer's Oath, I so swear, I will not follow you, Lily."

"Thank you, my love." Then she drew his head to her shoulder and hugged him close, running her fingers through his hair.

Severus buried his head in her breast, listening to the beat of her heart, and feeling the magic dwindling within her. _She slips away from me, with every breath she takes. I can feel it. Her magic flickers and dies like a guttered candle and she now has both feet upon the dark road. And there is nothing I can do to save her, no miracle I can perform, save to simply be there with her till the end._

The ache in his heart swelled to an almost unbearable pain, and he wept softly into Lily's shoulder, unable to help himself. He wanted to howl, but restrained himself, bad enough he was crying like a baby, even if only Lily could see him. His wife stroked his hair and murmured softly into his ear, soothing him the way she would have her son.

Eventually he cried himself to sleep, and she placed a kiss on his brow. "God, I love you, Sev. I'm sorry, so very sorry, but it is my time, and now I must leave you. Remember me, beloved, and all that we have shared, and may angels watch over you." Her mouth found his, and she indulged in one last kiss, all sweet passion and fire, and with it she returned the last of his magic to him. "What was given in love, so I now return to you. Farewell, my heart. I shall wait for you at heaven's gate. Farewell, my child, someday we shall meet again. May you have a long life, Harry, and may you someday know a love like mine."

She made one last journal entry, then set aside the quill and ink forever.

She had said the rest of her goodbyes earlier that day and the previous one and now at last she could leave her worn out body behind and seek the starry road. The internal fire of her magic died to an ember and then went out altogether. Her eyes closed, and her breathing slowed, until finally it ceased altogether, and her spirit soared free of her corporal self.

James reappeared and held out his hand. _Come, Lily. It is time for you to travel the starry road, love. Fear not, you won't get lost. I know the way._

_Lily took his hand, it felt warm, not cold at all, and together they began to walk down the starry road between the worlds to the realm where shadows go, where peace reigns supreme and nothing ever really dies._

**I cannot believe I actually did this. I feel like Nicholas Sparks, who has a tragic death in almost every novel. I am surprised I actually managed to write this chapter, considering I hate tragic endings. **

**However, this was always meant to be a bittersweet love story, since it was a prequel to the original novel I wrote for this series, called Never Again. Never Again features a 6 year old Harry being raised by single parent Sev, who gets put in a coma by Death eaters, and the Ministry declares that Harry has to go and live with his grandfather, Tobias Snape, as his closest living relative, until Severus recovers. Tobias, as you all know, was once an abusive alcoholic, but has since gone sober, and that story is a tale of redemption and reconciliation between fathers, sons, & grandsons. It is partially posted here under DaughterofAres account, since at that time I didn't have one, but since then, she has not replied to any of my emails and I cannot finish posting it according to the rules. A full posting is available to be read and reviewed on a different website potions and snitches (all one word) net. You can read half the story here and then finish the rest over there. And unlike WSG, it has a happy ending. **

**I will be posting the short story sequels to Shadows here, however, they detail events in the lives of 5 year old Harry and Healer Snape and are funny and warm, as well as the sequel to Never Again--Growing Pains, which is told from POV's of both Harry and Snape, plus a Christmas short story. **

**Chronilogically, WSG is the first in the series, so that's why I posted it first, and I did not enjoy having Lily die, but it was essential to the plotline of this series, and in case you're wondering what happened to the Evans--read Never Again, you'll find out. Just like in real life, Harry and Sev deal with tragedy and loss as well as good times, though Growing Pains does have a happy ending.**

**Now, there's one more chapter to go here and then I'll wrap this up and star posting the short story sequel to this--Forbidden Flight.**


	31. My Heart Will Go On

**My Heart Will Go On**

**Title taken from the classic song by Celine Dion, which was playing as I wrote the final chapter. I found it quite appropriately summed up Severus's feelings for Lily.**

Oh, and don't get rid of the box of Kleenex just yet. There's a few more Nicholas Sparks** moments in here.**

_September 30, 1984_

_The journal of Severus Snape, M.H.:_

_It has been barely a month since my beloved flower Lily walked the starry road to the realm where shadows go, and I still feel her loss like a great noise in my head. There is a large gaping hole in my heart, and not all my potions or my medical skill can mend it. My heart shattered that day and I cannot find all the pieces. I am reminded of that old Muggle nursery rhyme I learned as a child-Humpty Dumpty. "All the king's horses and all the king's men couldn't put Humpty together again". My heart is like that, not all the well-meaning condolences and heartfelt wishes shall restore that half of my heart. When Lily died, she took a part of me with her, and I know I shall never be whole again._

_I do not know how I ever got through the funeral service or even the morning after she died, when I woke to find myself lying in the arms of a corpse. She was still warm, however, but I knew instantly that she was dead, even without my Healer training. There was a blank echo down the bond I had shared with her, and such could only occur when the bonded's partner is dead. _

_I can remember grabbing her shoulders and shaking her, trying to deny the inevitable even as my mind informed me that she had slipped away and died peacefully in her sleep, a merciful death. "Lily! Lily! No . . .Lily, please . . .Come back! Come back to me!" I can remember yelling that, I think, and trying to give her my magic, but it kept hitting a stone wall, for there was no longer a spirit to receive my power, only a husk, a shell of what had once been my vibrant beautiful love. _

_Then I collapsed across her, my control utterly shattered, and sobbed as I had not done since my mother died, six years before. I have no idea how long I wept, but it must not have been too long, because I heard Matthew calling me, asking me if everything was all right. _

_I can't recall what I said, but my tone must have sounded off, because he came in the bedroom a moment later and knew in a glance what had happened. "Sev, I'm so damn sorry." He said, and his hazel eyes began to tear up. "May Merlin and God keep her." He moved over and stared at her lifeless face, gently shutting her eyes and sealing them with a spell. "Would you like me to pronounce her and fill out the death certificate, Sev?"_

_I nodded dully, not really caring anymore who did what. My heart was torn apart and the only thing I was feeling right now was a strange sort of numbness. Strangely, seeing Matthew's obvious grief enabled me to control my own, and I managed to wipe away my tears and shove the whimpering screaming part of myself away behind a cold wall of icy acceptance. _

_You knew this was coming, Master Healer Snape, the logical part of my mind informed me. This is not a shock, but a blessing. She died peacefully, not in pain, and that is a very good thing. She did not suffer at the end, I reminded myself, like some I had known in the past._

_My mind leaped ahead, to the arrangements I would need to make, and to the other unpleasant task I had to perform-telling my small son that his mother was gone forever. I panicked then, for I didn't have the faintest idea how the hell to break it to a four-year-old that his mother was dead and he could never see her or hold her or play with her ever again. Harry had known loss before, when James was killed, but he had been too little to really understand what it meant that his father was dead, except that he never came home again. _

_But this was different. Harry had known that Lily was sick, during the last days of her convalescence he had assisted me with bringing her Nutrient potions and protein shakes for meals, since that was all she could keep down towards the end. I think he thought it a strange sort of diet, existing solely on potions and milkshakes._

_He understood that his mother was quite ill, since she was always in bed, and sleeping for the most part, but he couldn't comprehend the seriousness of her condition, since he had routinely asked Lily or myself when his mummy would get better. I had always put him off by saying "Maybe tomorrow." But now tomorrow would never come._

_I ended up telephoning my mother-in-law first, giving her the awful news, and then asking in a polite sort of voice that I barely recognized as my own, "Vi, how shall I tell Harry about Lily?"_

_"Oh, Lord! The poor little lamb, now he's an orphan! Poor little baby!" She burst into noisy tears and I just stood there with the phone in my hand, unable to say anything. A part of me wanted to protest that Harry still had one parent, even if I wasn't a biological one, but I knew she was too far gone in grief to comprehend what she had just said, and so I let it go. _

_Hal got on the phone then, asking me what had happened. I told him and he too began to cry, and then he said he would be over as soon as possible and I hung up. My mind was spinning and I felt as if I drifted through a fog, a cold thick mist that insulated me from those terrible emotional outbursts the others around me were indulging in._

_I remember going into Harry's room, he was still asleep, sprawled across his little bed, tangled in the bedcovers, one hand clutching Inky, the other tucked beneath his pillow. So innocent and so unaware that his world had suddenly changed forever, I thought sadly. _

_I stood there watching him sleep for the longest time, he looked so fragile and so precious, no one would ever guess what an imp he was when he was awake. How do I tell him? How? He's only a little boy, what does he know of death, damn it?_

_I ended up leaving, because I heard a knock at the door, and I knew Vi and Hal had arrived, and I needed to see to them. _

_They were a wreck, as could be expected, for it is a terrible thing to have your child die untimely, before you, and though they had known this was coming, knowing and reality are not the same thing at all. Nothing prepares you for the loss of a loved one, and especially not your own child._

_Vi and Hal hugged me and cried all over me, and I could only hug them back and tell them I was sorry, I felt so awkward and inadequate and like little more than a puppet, going through the motions. I kept telling myself, keep it together, Snape, you can do it. _

_As it turned out, Harry woke up while I was comforting my in-laws, and went in to see Lily, the way he usually did every morning, and found his mother lying cold and still and unresponsive. Matthew had gone back to St. Mungos to procure an official document, and Harry woke up afterwards, and discovered Lily on his own. _

_Of course he came running to me, telling me that Lily was sleeping and wouldn't wake up._

_"I called her and called her, Daddy, and she just kept sleeping." He said, his little face serious. "Can you wake her up like you did last time, when she fell asleep in the middle of the kitchen?"_

_I looked down at my hands helplessly, then picked up my son and brought him back into his room. I wanted privacy for this, and thank God my in-laws recognized this and did not intrude. _

_"How come we're in my room, Dad? Aren't you gonna wake up Mum?" Harry asked curiously._

_I sat down and held him on my lap, then I said, "Harry . . .your mum . . .she can't . . .I can't wake her up . . ." I felt like my tongue was two sizes too large and every word I spoke was coming out garbled._

_"How come? Is it 'cause she's under a spell, like Sleeping Beauty?"_

_For once I blessed the Muggle fairy tales Lily had read to him, because it made what I had to say next a little easier. "No, not really."_

_"Well, all you have to do is to kiss her and she'll wake up, Daddy. Everybody knows that's how you break a spell like that." Harry informed me. _

_I nearly smiled at his definitive tone. "I know, son, but you see, your mother isn't under that kind of spell. She can't wake up because she has gone away to . . . heaven like your other father James. Do you remember that, Harry?"_

_"Uh . . .kind of." Then he looked up at me and said, "Can't you just tell her to come home, Dad? I don't like her going away without me."_

_I hugged him. The fog that insulated me was slowly shredding beneath his puzzled green gaze, and I could feel the pain beginning to surface. Not now! Hold it together, Snape, I ordered. You can't fall apart now. _

_"Oh, Harry. If only I could do that, but . . .once you go to heaven you don't return."_

_"Not ever?"_

_"No, little one."_

_"But why'd she go there? I don't want her to go, Daddy!" Harry cried. "She's not s'posed to do that!"_

_"Harry, listen to me. She was sick and . . .she had no choice. But she loved you very much, son, remember that." I picked up Inky and held it out to him. "Do you remember when she gave you Inky and told you she would always be with you, even when you couldn't see her?"_

_Harry sniffled and nodded. "Yeah."_

_"Well, this is what she meant, Harry. She gave you Inky so you wouldn't get so lonely and miss her, son." I knew it was cold comfort, but I didn't know what else to say, I was all torn up myself over her loss._

_"But I **do** miss her, Dad!" Harry said, then he burst into tears and buried his head in Inky's fur. _

_I held him close and rocked him, nearly losing it myself. Lily, Lily, how will we go on without you? I wondered then, as my son sobbed heartbrokenly into my shirt._

_But somehow we did manage, don't ask me how. The funeral was horrid, I had to take Harry home after I did the eulogy, he was hysterical, and put him to sleep with a Calming Draught. I wasn't much better myself, to tell the truth, and I dosed myself as well before falling asleep in a chair next to his bed. _

_Ever since Lily's death, I had been unable to sleep in my bed. She had died there, and even though Matthew had sterilized it and all, I could not sleep there. I slept on the couch most nights, transfigured into a bed. I knew it was just ridiculous superstition, but I felt as if Lily were still there, in that bed, where she had breathed her last, and I could not bear sleeping with a ghost._

_When Harry woke up, he asked immediately for Lily, and I had to go through the whole explanation again. By then I was weary and my nerves were shot and I had barely any patience to spare. _

_"But when is she coming back, Dad?" Harry asked for the twentieth time._

_"She's not!" I snapped, losing it. "She's never coming back, dammit, and you're just going to have to accept it! She's gone and you'll never see her again and neither will I. Never again, understand?" A part of me was appalled at the way I was shouting at the poor kid, but I was falling apart, my control splintering, and I didn't know what I was saying._

_Harry began to cry and suddenly it was just too much._

_I bolted from the room and ended up falling on my knees beside our bed, the bed where she had made me promise to not follow her to the realm where shadows go, and I put my head down and howled, "Lily, I can't do this anymore! God, I can't stand it! Every night I see you in my dreams . . .I miss you so damn much! Why did you have to leave me? Why?"_

_I fell apart utterly then, that impenetrable fog I had erected vanished, and the tide of raw pain and sorrow I had been suppressing broke over me like a wave, and I drowned in its depths. I sobbed and howled like a mad thing, begging for Lily to come back to me, wishing I had never made that promise._

_I don't know how long I remained lost in my own private hell, but the thing that brought me back was a little voice saying, "Daddy, it's okay. Don't cry, please. I love you, don't go with Mummy."_

_I whirled around and saw him standing there, like a lost soul, and I pulled him to me and whispered, "Harry, I won't leave you. I'm right here, scamp."_

_"Promise?"_

_"Promise." _

_He started to cry again, or perhaps he had never stopped, and inbetween sobs he said, "I miss Mummy."_

_"I know. Me too," I answered, and I cried along with him. "But at least I still have you, scamp." I whispered, and that thought eased the terrible pain somewhat._

_We ended up falling asleep on the floor there, exhausted by the sudden outpouring of grief._

_Even so, it was weeks before I could bring myself to sleep in my bed again._

_A few days after that, I discovered Lily's journal, though it was another day before I could bring myself to read it. I ended up weeping over it, but this time the tears were not bitter, but sweet release, and the insight I gained into her thoughts those last days helped me to come to grips with my terrible grief. Somewhat. _

_My heart was still wounded, still aching, but it was less pronounced, and I had hope that I would learn to go on without my beloved at my side. _

_Thank Merlin for Matthew, Sirius, and Remus. They made sure that I ate and slept and didn't neglect Harry and wallow in my own self-pity and grief. And when they weren't around, I found Albus and Minerva knocking at my door, dropping in to say hello or bringing me tea and cakes or some other inane reason. _

_"How are you holding up, dear?" Minerva asked one day, after making us tea and insisting I actually eat something. _

_"All right," was the best that I could say. It was a lie, I was miserable, and the only thing enabling me to get up every morning was Harry._

_All of my patients knew that my wife had passed, and were quietly sympathetic when they came into the office, I was grateful for it, but I still felt a raw throbbing ache whenever I thought of my Lily, gone now where shadows go, along with James and my mother and everyone else who had died over the years. _

_"You really should eat something, Severus. How about a cinnamon scone?" Minerva urged._

_I took one, but only to be polite, since lately food had lost its appeal for me, and everything tasted like ashes. To my surprise, I actually ate the entire scone, only then recalling I had skipped breakfast, lunch, and if I had eaten dinner last night I didn't remember it. Harry I made sure ate, but I wasn't half as conscious with myself. _

_"How is Harry, my boy?"_

_"He's . . .still upset over his mother's death, as you can imagine. But I don't think he quite understands that she's never coming back. I think he believes that one day he'll come home and she'll be here, same as always. He's only four, it's a lot for a child to comprehend. Sometimes he has nightmares, and wakes up calling for her." I shook my head sadly. Those nights were the worst, because he usually didn't calm down until an hour later, and by then I was exhausted myself, and not very comforting, I'm afraid. _

_"Poor little mite," Albus said, and he suddenly looked every one of his one-hundred and fifty something years. "Where is he, Severus? Asleep?"_

_"No. He's over at Molly Weasley's at the moment," I replied to Albus's query. "She volunteered to watch him on Tuesdays and Wednesdays so he didn't need to spend all his time at the hospital daycare center."_

_"Are you on call then, Severus?" asked the old wizard._

_"Yes, but so far there have been no emergencies or deliveries," I answered. Normally that would have been a blessing, but since Lily had died, I found myself longing for those crazy days on call, where I'd be too busy to think, and come home too tired to dream. _

_"You look tired, Sev. Have you been getting enough sleep?" Minerva queried, looking at me sternly._

_I looked away, for I knew I could never lie to her, she was one of the few friends who could see past my façade. "Not . . . really." I didn't bother telling her that I couldn't sleep without using Dreamless Sleep, and I had stopped taking it a week ago, refusing to let myself become dependent upon a potion. A Snape didn't need to resort to drugs as a crutch, magical or otherwise._

_"Why don't you go and take a nap then?" she suggested, reminding of my mother._

_"I'm all right, Minerva, I don't need-"_

_"Nonsense, Healer Snape. You're worn to a shadow and you need a break, now go and lie down and let yourself rest, my boy. Albus and I will wake you if anyone summons you over that bloody mirror."_

_I was too damn tired to put up much of a fight, though normally I detested anyone treating me like I was a child. So I went and took a nap on the couch for about three hours, before the Spell Damage Ward contacted me and said I had a case, some idiot teenager had been playing around with a Fire Starter spell and set himself on fire. So I went off to the hospital, and Albus and Minerva assured me they would fetch Harry and look after him for me. _

_When I returned home, hours later, I found Albus reading my son a bedtime story and Minerva had cooked me dinner and practically stood over me while I ate it, asking me how badly the boy had been burned. _

_I replied, "It could have been worse. I managed to repair the worst of the damage, so he won't scar too badly and he'll regain full use of his arm in a few weeks." I shook my head. "The fool kid was showing off, trying to catch a fireball in his bare hand, while his silly girlfriend watched."_

_"Children nearly always have to learn things the hard way," Minerva said, sadly. _

_I just nodded, and finished eating my supper, which tasted quite good for a change._

_Over the next few weeks, Sirius and Remus made it a point to come over whenever they were free, and so did Vi and Hal, who helped me go through Lily's personal effects, what there was of them. She had given away many of her things to friends and relatives before she had died, but a few things I kept, like her journal and her photo albums, and some jewelry that she had loved. I figured Harry would appreciate it when he was older, and if he ever had a daughter, he could give her the pendant and the rings I had saved. _

_Yet, even with her things gone, I still felt her presence hovering in the house, and I was reminded of her every time I slept in my room. I had become so accustomed to holding her while I slept those last few months that my arms automatically reached out for her, only to clutch empty air. I took to hugging her pillow, which still had some of her favorite perfume on it. I wished stupidly that I had a toy like Harry's Inky to hold when I woke in the middle of the night, thinking she was beside me. _

_Time heals all wounds, or so the old saying goes and perhaps that is right, and someday the sharp longing will cease to torment me and I can stop mourning and start living again. _

_Harry too, was subdued and quiet, not at all himself, and though a part of me was relieved, another part wanted the old rambunctious scamp back. He was very clingy, making a huge ruckus whenever I had to leave him at the daycare or even at Molly's sometimes to go to work. Some days I had to pry him off me and leave him howling after me. It broke my heart, but what could I do? I had to go to work and I couldn't do my job with a four-year-old clinging to my robes. _

_But Harry eventually learned to trust that I would return as I had promised and stopped crying and throwing tantrums whenever I left, thank goodness. Those days I had to reassure him that I would always come home and if I was late I would call and let him know, so he didn't make himself ill worrying that I might never return. _

_Inky saved my sanity many times over during those weeks, and I blessed Lily's foresight in giving him that stuffed panther a thousand times over. Harry took him everywhere and treated him like he was alive at times, and the panther seemed to comfort him when no one else could, oddly enough. _

_As I said before, it almost made me wish I had one._

_As I sit here, scribbling, Harry is currently playing with him, making believe they are going to school aboard the Hogwarts Express, his new favorite game. Soon I shall draw a bath for him and put him to bed, then spend a portion of the evening going over my current schedule for the next day. After that, perhaps I shall relax with a good book, reading is a favorite pastime of mine, though I have hardly been in the mood to immerse myself in a decent book lately. _

_Sirius used to tease me when we were children, calling me Severus Bookworm and Encyclopedia Boy, since I nearly always had my nose buried in a book, or carried one with me. I was happy that Harry shared my love of the written word, he would be a fine scholar when he was older, and hopefully not one to shirk homework or reading assignments. _

_Vi had lent me a book of daily meditations and sayings, something to help me through the grieving process, and I read a quote or a saying a day, when I remembered them. One stuck in my head, and I feel compelled to record it here. It said that what is loved never dies, so long as one remembers. _

_I have found that saying to be true, for so long as I remember my beloved Lily flower, she shall live on within me, and never fade._

_I also recall something she wrote to me in her journal, which I have read many times over since that day I discovered it upon her nightstand. She told me not to grieve forever, nor to bury my heart in the grave along with her, but to allow myself to love again, should the opportunity present itself. The way she did after James died. _

_"I do not want you to live the rest of your life alone, Sev, wishing for me to return. You deserve to be happy, and if ever you meet a woman who makes you feel so, please do not hesitate to follow your heart and love again. You should not become a monk simply because I am gone, and you have my blessing to love as your heart bids, as I have done in loving you, my beloved Master Healer. In that way you shall honor me best."_

_I do not think I shall ever find a woman like her again, and I am far from ready to start searching, but I shall keep her words in mind, just in case. Who knows? I am no Seer, to predict what could be, and all I can say for certain is that I have known a love like no other, and my heart shall go on, one beat at a time, and perhaps someday . . ._

_For now it is enough that I have Harry, Lily's legacy, and I shall do my best to be a good father and give him the love and compassion and discipline I never had from my own. That in itself should be enough to keep me busy for a very long time, Merlin help me, and if I am still sane, perhaps my heart will have healed enough to allow another woman into it. _

_But I shall never forget you, Lily Ann Snape, my first love, my best friend, who taught a lonely man how to love and gave him a home and a family. Thank you._

**The End**

**Well, I've finally come to the end of the Severus and Lily love story. Yes it was bittersweet and at times dreadfully sad to write, but I hope you can forgive me for killing off Lily, she was always meant to be a tragic figure in this series, though I think she lived her life to the fullest in the time she had and in the end she went contentedly to her final reward. Please remember that this is a PREQUEL to my previous novel in this series, Never Again. Never Again was written first and had Severus as a single parent raising Harry on his own, getting attacked by DE and ending up in a coma for three months, forcing the Ministry to place 6 year old Harry with Snape's dad, Tobias. So Lily was dead by that time, otherwise that storyline would have never occurred. So she had to die here. The other short stoires that come before Never Again detail Harry and Sev's life before Tobias comes back into it. **

**Thank you all for reading and reviewing, and I hope you will read the other stories in this series as well, most of which are not as angst-ridden as this one, and chronicle Harry and Severus's life together as Harry grows from a toddler to a teenager. Well, they will chronicle his teenage years, as soon as I write them, that is!**

**Happy reading all! Please check the list in my profile to see what comes next in the series, so you can read it in order. Never Again is NOT in my profile, but under a friend of mine's because I wrote it before having an account on here, so she posted it under her name DaughterofAres. Look in my Favorite Stories for the link**

**And now, on to Split Second (posted just now!)**


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